Hey some troll named GoddessOfDeathMetal resubmitted her review when it was nuked. I saw it was gone yesterday but it appeared again today.

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=770
-GoddessOfDeathMetal

Hey that reviews all right *insert GoddessOfDeathMetal is pretty good for a chick comment...then pushes mother down stairs, and runs out into the night to rape women...*

It apparently wasn't nuked, because the date definitely says July 8, 2008. And just because she hates CC doesn't make her a troll any more than the other reviewers you posted.

The new "A Blaze in the Northern Sky" review, by The GHoul:

Darkthrone - A Blaze in the Northern Sky - 45%

Written by
The_Ghoul
on July 30th, 2008 [
delete review ]

Darkthrone are a punk band at heart. I live a hop, skip, and a jump away from Berkeley, and I've been to The Gilman, a popular punk venue, several times.
And they sound almost exactly like A Blaze in the Northern Sky, save for the vocals. And that's not a good thing.

What it sounds like here is a band that's trying to sound like crap on purpose. They've misinterpreted what Mayhem and Bathory have done to a great extent.
They approach black metal from a stylistic standpoint instead of a thematic standpoint, and are no different than the pariahs of black metal, Dimmu Borgir,
in that respect. Whereas Dimmu try too hard to be evil by having a clean as fuck production and endless effects and triggers, Darkthrone do it here by
doing the exact opposite, by having as dirty a production as possible and sounding like crap. Black metal isn't about stylistic elements, it's about the
overarching themes of darkness and coldness, and it doesn't adhere to either extreme of extremeley minimalist and extremely materialist. Darkthrone's fans
seem to have missed that point; I doubt Darkthrone were ever a serious band.

This attitude, the "fuck materialism" attitude, is pure Berkeley punk. The attitude that it's not OK to know how to play your instruments is pure Berkeley
punk. The whole attitude to have a chaotic "wall of noise" is pure Berkeley punk. And thus, I don't judge this as a metal album. I judge it as a punk album.
In that respect, it's painfully average. Why go for a bunch of pretenders when you can get the real thing?

In short, do not buy this. If it's black metal you want, there are better bands to look for, namely from France, Sweden, Finland, and even their fellow
Norwegian counterparts. If it's this minimalist crust-punk type stuff you want, look to Berkeley. If black metal made by crust punks is your thing, then
go ahead, get this. If you're sane, and it's not, then avoid this. I don't know why Darkthrone got so famous, because they're so painfully average.


I dont' think this should have been accepted, and am going to nuke it. Frankly, all this guy's negative reviews are pretty sub-par, but this one in particular is empty. "It sounds like punk!" is about all I can glean from it .. doesn't even bother to elucidate how this is below-average "punk".

This band pretends to be metal and punk, not really being either, but is still punk, and bad at that too, as this style of punk is not supposed to be this way. It also sucks because it's minimalistic. That's all I can salvage.

He judges it as a black metal album (blames it for not being black metal), claims to judge it as a punk album (but doesn't; merely blames it for being punk), proceeds to compare it to a punk band he thinks is similiar, and then states how different it is.

Yeah, that review just comes off as silly iconoclastic posturing.

Please inquire about whether a review was actually nuked rather than simply edited before you start throwing the "troll" label around. She probably took another look at the review and did some editing or comment augmentation to improve it.

P.S. - It is possible to love death metal and hate Cannibal Corpse.

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=5441#2162

Plain awful review, and the others aren't looking that good either.

Darkthrone never stops being a magnet for fecal writings, it seems.

I'm looking to remedy that with a couple of well-thought out reviews myself, I've taken quite a liking to their early material.

I thought out my own Darkthrone review quite well, I thought. I wrote it the way I would any other metal release, around jokes mainly, but still I think I avoided any black metal meanderings that so often plague 2nd wave releases.

Stop posting in this thread. You have no grasp whatsoever as to its purpose or guiding principles.


I end up rejecting a lot of The_Ghoul's positive pieces, as well as the negative ones. He has a tendency to whine and attack the other reviewers quite a bit. This seemed to have been compounded after his own tinkertoy "band" received its first negative review (which is gone now, incidentally, as it was a poor piece of work).

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.ph ... 1582#23258

Bing, new review for a leaked album. Are all the mods aware of the ruling on this, because this is the second accepted now.

Gone, once again.

The first "review" for the new Metallica album was in the queue today. It was in Spanish, had three ellipses in a single sentence, and got rejected really, really fast.

Three ellipses! Even I don't use that many! Man, I wonder what it said. Was it "You... know this... is going to suck..." in Spanish?

In regards to The Ghoul's 'Plaguewielder' review, I do believe Zephryous left the band after TH (and he might not of even played on TH).

He left right after "Under A Funeral Moon", so that definitely needs to be fixed.

"Let's face it, guys, neither Fenriz nor Nocturno Culto is Zephyrous, and it's Zephyrous that's written all the good Darkthrone riffs. That's why Transilvanian Hunger sucked (or at least part of it) and why Darkthrone have failed to come up with anything good after Panzerfaust, which was ok as well."

Well, it's kind of hard to tell if he's saying 'Panzerfaust' was good because Zephryous was on it, I guess. I don't know, it's hard to tell. Zephryous only wrote two songs on 'Funeral Moon' anyway, so he must only be referring to those two songs.

I guess what he is implying here is that the band declined after Zephyrous left but that Fenriz and Nocturno Culto were able to keep a slight amount of momentum going in the early aftermath. In general, I tend to agree with this, although I'd disagree with Ghoul over just how much of a decline it was (both Transylvanian Hunger and Panzerfaust were decent, although they were definitely inferior to the 3 albums that came before.

What the hell, then why did he give plaguewielder a 70 something and A Blaze .. a 20?

Somebody check the insert to make certain, now, but I am pretty sure Zephyrus plays on "Transilvanian Hunger".

Because he's a more modern and sophisticated listener, no doubt.

And it's just Fenriz and Nocturno Culto actually performing on Transilvanian Hunger, unless I'm sorely mistaken.

No, according to my insert from the album he's nowhere to be found. He definitely left right after Funeral Moon, I'm positive.

More so a question than posting a crap review. How much is length in a review valued? I was looking at the reviews for Dissection's "The Somberlain" and found a really short review. It does describe the music, but only to a degree. The review is 149 words long. You can't really elaborate much with a review of that length. So does this review meet the standards of the site?

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=769

The review is by mutiilator.

Quite frankly, The_Ghoul's other Darkthrone reviews are irritatingly low on content and irritatingly high on whining, too. Most of them probably deserve to get the boot.

No, he left after UAFM indeed. Fenriz handles all instruments on TH; Nocturno Culto only performed the vocals.

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=237#110184 - Ignore this album. - 2%; by SupremeAbstract

Here's a long evaluation/summary of his review:

I love Immortal. I cried when they broke up. I cheered when they got back together. I put up a big glow-in-the-dark poster of Abbath above my bed with a heart drawn around him in red marker when I heard they were writing new material. But 'Battles in the North' is one of the worst albums ever. 2-3 minute doses of pure blasting generally entertain me, but here they are boring.

Okay, so its all performed flawlessly. Even Abbath's drumming on this album, which has been harshly criticized by some fans, is perfect to my ears. The production captures the feeling of a pure hailstorm! [So far, he's disagreed with the most recent 65% review, saying that Abbath's drumming is perfect as opposed to sub-par. AND he's given great credit to the production, which the most recent 65% reviewer trashed]. But its all BORING and meshes together into one dull wall of sound, which I hate, though I generally like mindless blasting in 2-3 minute doses.

All of the songs follow a very similar, if not the exact same kind of formula - Blast beats. Wall of guitar noise. Verse, same thing. Intro, then the same thing. The same thing. Chorus. The same thing. All in under 3 minutes [Note: Actually, only TWO songs on this 10-song album clock in under 3 minutes, buddy]. This is boring [Yes, I think we get that you think its boring]. The only song that is a little different is 'Blashyrk.' I won't tell you how this, the last track, is different, I'm just going to assure you that you will have turned off and destroyed the CD before getting to this song.

So, if you like mindless blasting, listen to 'Blizzard Beasts.' Those songs are descent (actually, the word you are looking for is 'decent'). TWO PERCENT.
____________

Come on, is this review really good enough to stay? In the first paragraph, he assures us that he loves Immortal, but he tells us nothing that he loves about them, and draws no comparison to any of their earlier or later works. In the second paragraph, he DEFENDS the album against two of the harshest criticisms that have befallen it (see the most recent accepted review). He even goes as far as to say that the album is FLAWLESS in these respects. He goes one step further and says that the band SUCCEEDS in building the kind of atmosphere they wanted. Yet, he gives the album a 2%??

And, let me disprove his theory that all of the songs follow the exact same pattern; I'll only go through a few of them -

Battles in the North - The riffs around the one minute mark are very distinguishable., and provide a break from the earlier onslaught. At 1:40, these same riffs reappear; these are NOT the same riffs as in the beginning of this song. Chorus. Some variation in the riffing, with some interesting drumwork that builds towards some riffs that are similiar to the riffs at 1 minute and 1:40, but a little differently. The song ends normally.

Grim and Frostbitten Kingdoms - Catchy, churning riffs at the beginning. The drumming switches up and builds more variation around the 30 second mark. The song blazes through with some slight variation and ends with a solo (solos weren't mentioned by the reviewer!!)!

Descent into Eminent Silence - I detect the most thrash metal influence in this song, though I hear a little bit of it at different spots in this album. The drumming is actually at its most odd on this song. I begin to understand what Ruthless Reviews was talking about when they mentioned Abbath's 'missed bpm' count. This song does not have much variation, but it keeps with the consistent atmosphere of the album. Also, there was no discernable 'chorus,' as the reviewer promised.

Throned By Black Storms - At 1 minute, this song gets fierce, with riffs flying all over the place and Abbath goes as crazy as he can on the kit. Abbath repeats some of the same lyrics in places as this song chugs along.

Cursed Realm of the Winter Demons - Opens with an acoustic guitar! These acoustic riffs at the beginning aren't repeated in the rest of the song, contrary to what the reviewer says.

Blashyrk (Mighty Ravendark) - The mighty opening of this song is anything but guitar noise and constant blasts. The drums are slower, filling in their place only when appropriate. A short acoustic break comes in near the beginning, and after that the song builds a diverse epic with plenty of variation in the riffs and drum beats. The song nears the end with the legendary acoustic break, followed by the powerful ending with Abbath's awesome shriek and a solo that destroys amidst all of the madness.
___________

So, have I done well enough to prove that -

A.) This guy doesn't know what he's talking about.
B.) He claims to love Immortal and describes constant blasting in a manner that isn't negative, he praises the production, the playing, and the atmosphere on this album, but he still gives it a RIDICULOUSLY LOW RATING!!
C.) He claims that the songs all subscribe to the same formula, when they clearly DO NOT!
D.) He admits that one song breaks 'the imaginary mold that he so condemns, but he refuses to even describe how!!
E.) When he FINALLY mentions another album of theres, he refuses to draw any comparison and just says that the constant blasting on that album was 'descent' (spelling error).
_____

I hope that you will consider nuking this poorly articulated, unresearched, unfair (considering the score, despite the praise), and untruthfully described review.

No offense to the guy that reviewed it, I just think that if he is going to condemn this well-respected album with such a low review, he'd better give good reason for his score. I think its obvious that he doesn't.

Also, there appears to be quite a few bare bones reviews for this album, though I think this one is the worst. If you nuke this one, give the others a glance to.

haha, your analysis was longer then the review itself. Settle down!

On a serious note, I think a higher score would fit the content better, but otherwise it's not too bad. Describes the music well enough- and you also seem to forget that he's probably employing a bit of hyperbole to prove his point.

Essentially, stop being so butthurt. If you want to refute his points, why not write a review?

Well well, I'm rather surprised I didn't realise this until now. Thanks, guys.

Wonder Path, yes, that review was indeed quite bad, and it is gone.

Yeah, I was thinking of writing my own review.

Thanks for taking the time to check it out and make a judgment call!

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=24468#51785 - pentfixion
http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=24468#35609 - whitedevil

Two small turds. It's unnecessary to keep them - there are two more well-written reviews on the opposite sides of the spectrum (30% and 99%).

http://metal-archives.com/review.php?id=106565#159863

Formatting on this one is pretty lousy, and the content is extremely general. It's a judgment call, but I'd at least PM the guy and tell him that he needs to fix the paragraphs.

Cleaned up the last three. The one hells_unicorn linked especially was nuke-worthy; lots of better reviews already for the release.

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=78533 MetalAbu

Really bad review that consists almost entirely of ridiculous hyperboles. The only real musical description is that the release is black metal. Plus, the formatting is pretty fucked.

Here's an oddity, In some of Caspian's earlier stuff he spells rhythm 'rythym' surely somethings wrong there. See his Dopethrone review for an example, not bad reviews as such but he could give them a edit.

If all those are for Electric Wizard, then there's nothing wonderful.

gk's review for Anathema's 'Hindsight', which hasn't been released yet.

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=198381

I'm sure this shouldn't be here;

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=5079 -SPAWNINFERNAL (bottom of the page)

Something I wrote earlier but has been drowned out by other posts;

Great - 96% Written by SAScythe on September 12th, 2004

This has to be one my favorite metal albums of all time. This is really really great music. There really is no flaw to this album to tell you the truth it's just full of all kinds of things. There are all kinds of neat guitar riffs in every song just riffs that flow. They did many creative things in about every song. Leather Leone is a great singer to fit this album too it just makes the album even better and even if they had no singer it would still be an awesome album just because the music is so fucking good. I mean the instrumental 827 just has to be one of the greater instrumentals that i've heard. I mean im not to great with words obviously but all I got to say to all you metal fans out there is if you ever come across this album pick it up it is just bad ass. This album will amaze you.
http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=9999

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bang ’til death - 90% Written by hyalmalindele on September 5th, 2003

An untold sonic slaughter of thrash metal rage! This demo recording takes metallic aggression to a level few acts can succeed at, but is performed with such precision even discernible through the grainy tape mix as can fascinate me greatly throughout it! I add this to my mental list of thrash metal founders and "Bay Area bangers", and I'm looking forward to hearing the rest of their discography and seeing their performance next weekend!
http://metal-archives.com/review.php?id=3552

http://www.metal-archives.com/release.php?id=197533

The English is pretty poor, but my main problem is the fact that this guy is reviewing his own split without actually admitting it, and giving it a 100% and praising the fuck out of his own music, as if he weren't part of it.

Funny story how I know it's him, actually. I reviewed his demo and pointed out that they stole a riff from C.O.F. - a day later I got an email supposedly from an MA mod claiming that if I didn't delete the review (for "spreding false informations") then my account would be deleted. And yes, the email it was sent from matches the one in his profile