Fuck, I missed the Left Hand Path review. What was it like?

I'd describe it as similar to the stuff by that sammyslamz guy, but slightly less obvious. By that, I mean he didn't mention the lack of breakdowns in every other sentence, he acutally used punctuation and capitalized correctly. Other than that, the content was the same: "this is an old grandpa's death metal, it was made 50 years ago" kind of stuff.
EDIT: Nevermind, link above.

Yeah, that's really bad. It makes my Dark Moor review look good almost.

Was the sammyslamman guy even a joke? I remember he amd his "band" had a myspace with some horrifying music on it.

One of the greatest death metal releases ever!!! - 95%
Written by Violent_Offender on July 13th, 2003

I'm sure you've read the other review posted here on this album, but you might as well ignore it. Yes, there are intros to every song, but they are just as badass as the music. Vocals that are simular to Chuck Schuldiner's and progressive death/thrash metal riffs that just plain KILL!!!! This album was released by Roadrunner when they were THE death metal label. There isnt anything negative I can say about this album. Every song is just plain awesome. "Twisted Truth" is a killer and slower groove oriented tune that breaks into a killer thrash based riff. Well folks, if you can get your hands on this album I definately recommend it. It's too bad these guys disbanded. This is what progressive death metal should sound like. Progressive, but not out of hand. HAIL!!!!

Is this one really necessary, considering it has 5 other reviews?

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=1015

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=222198

Very little content other than "I thought it sucked."

I'm gonna go ahead and nominate this character Tepes The Unweeping again, since it seems I was completely ignored last time.

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.ph ... 697#127248

His reviews are childish, uninformative, have little to no substance, and are mostly just curse words and personal attacks against the band and the people who like them, rather than criticism of the actual music.

Bringing up someone that the moderators have repeatedly declined to discipline for the same thing will not get you results.

Whose dick did he have to suck around here to get that crap he calls a review published?

It's well written and raises enough points to be accepted, get the fuck over it. Yes, it was obnoxious in places and he used his signature Tepes style, but honestly there wasn't much wrong with it. Just write your own review.

Well I guess this answers my previous question.
"Signature Tepes style," heh. What a load.

Stop being a crybaby. He's bashed albums I like too, but he's good at what he does, and suck ass whiny reactions like yours are the stuff he feeds off of. If you really hate his style, just fucking ignore him.

I like him. His hyperbole really goes overboard at times, but overall he's a good enough writer to get his point across. And really, he's right about Equilibrium. That has to be the album with the most undeserved praise I've heard in a long while.

And here I thought 4chan was one of the only forums where trolls are lauded as kings.

Vlad Tepes is not just a troll, he actually makes genuine arguments. They may be often (usually) controversial if not inflammatory, but there's reasoning and sincerity behind them. The mods are not your mommy and will not scold Tepes for offending your oh-so-delicate sensibilities.

Really now? What's so genuine about this entire paragraph:

"The song writing is pure Finntroll knock-off (IE: a synthesis of the palest, most insipid "Black" Metal in the world, polka, disco, elevator music, and Power Metal) with a big cumshot of Euroflower Metal up the ass. I think the band hired Yngwie Malmsteen and Stratovarius to write something that sounded like Finntroll for them, and spent all the recording sessions sampling epic choruses and making extra accordion tracks to stick in later."

Half of his deal is simply just throwing shit at bands that aren't grimdark black metal that sounds like it was recorded into a metal trash can, in mono.

Enough. It's not going anywhere, go whine about it on whatever other message boards you post on. I'm sure there will be plenty of other people there to agree with you that we're all a bunch of big meanies.

Sure thing.

There are a bunch of erroneous or strange characters in the text in OzzyApu's review of Xasthur's Nocturnal Poisoning. Makes it hard to read.

That sometimes happens. Change your character encoding. Mine was on western when I just read it now and I changed it to Unicode and it was legible.

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=616#146192

Cryptwatcher's review. It's bad, adds nothing new to the pool and he also writes complete utter bullshit. Just read the review! He also states in his profile that he's 17 and 2 years into metal which is in contradiction to what he writes.

Nuke it.

Well at least he likes the Meads Of Asphodel.



"Death metal music is well known because of the dark symphonic classical music influence."

What?

Another Snxke review which can be deleted:

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=2091#267

Gassed and sent to the ovens!

http://metal-archives.com/review.php?id=20661

Spawnhorde's Boris review. Shitload of capital letters and eye-sore. Overall bad review.

http://metal-archives.com/review.php?id=616

and still waiting for that painful "Cryptwatcher" review to get nuked.

Cheers,
Aris.

http://metal-archives.com/review.php?id=2936#30

Basically every other review is better than that one and it doesn't say anything other than "I like Cathedral's stoner metal output more"

Bloodbath's "Nightmares Made Flesh" has some reviews that could be wiped out.

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=47673#86498

Review by Il_Misanthrope.

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=47673#22604

Review by 3415.

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=47673#21348

Review by Cup_Of_Tea.

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=47673#19077

Review by TheSilentScream.

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=47673#7211

Review by Dawndeath.

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=47673#1951

And lastly, review by FearTheNome. It's an awful number, half of the current reviews actually, but they don't say anything that the fresher reviews don't say better. Some of them could still be argued, of course.

Typical. I was just busy on writing something for that..

I find it pretty damnn strange these shantanupatni1991 reviews haven't been nuked already....

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.ph ... 775#133043

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.ph ... 777#133043

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.ph ... 776#133043

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.ph ... 897#133043

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.ph ... 854#133043

Also this grimdoom's review deserved to be removed. Too short, poorly written and completely redundant.

Same with this review of corviderrant.

bump.

It's the only review for that album, and while it's brief on description, there's still enough description for its inclusion. It will stay.

It's one thing to keep in mind. If it's the only review for that album, then the standards for its inclusion are less than those albums with many more reviews. It's better to have some description then nothing at all.

I know that, but I didn't know the standards were lowered that drastically.
But I suppose you're right, It's better to have little than nothing.

My old friend erickg13, what ever happened to him, he used to be pretty good competition whenever we had a review challenge, now he's stopped writing them altogether. Granted, this isn't one of his finer moments.

That review can indeed stay, I don't think we'll ever get another for the album, or even the band itself, for that matter.

Erick is currently somewhere in a School of Men, probably right now being yelled at by a mean drill sergeant with a huge vocabulary of profanities, or maybe he's crying himself to sleep in bunk on a ship. He joined the Navy and wants be become Rambo.

tsk tsk, another one bites the dust. Oh well, as long as he's not in the Army he'll have good odds at surviving. I'm not sure why anyone would want to serve the crop of bastards that have been running things in DC for the past 50 years, but if you get to wear a red headband and kick some ass, I guess it has its appeal.

There's enough good reviews for this album that this one is unnecessary, being very short and not very descriptive:

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=32363#1183

same goes for this one:

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=984#1183

and this one:

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=34304#1183

and this one as well:

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=2685#1183


EDIT: found another worthless review, especially for a popular and well known release as this one:

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=47673#21348

Beherit review by hellhippie:

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.ph ... 576#154259

Formatting needs fixing.

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=36603

Unnecessary track-by-track review.

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.ph ... 312#112081

Incoherent, badly punctuated, and the score seems to bear no resemblence to the review.

I'm surprised that one was accepted without asking him to correct the tags, at the least.