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Empyreal
The Final Frontier

Joined: Thu Nov 30, 2006 6:58 pm
Posts: 35218
Location: Where the dead rule the night
PostPosted: Wed Apr 01, 2009 9:14 pm 
 

Fuck, I missed the Left Hand Path review. What was it like?
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Evenfiel
Heavy Metal Hunter

Joined: Tue May 27, 2003 9:50 am
Posts: 4619
Location: Brazil
PostPosted: Wed Apr 01, 2009 9:23 pm 
 

http://www.metal-archives.com/board/vie ... start=1160

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unclevladistav
Metalhead

Joined: Mon Mar 03, 2008 8:33 pm
Posts: 1247
Location: United States
PostPosted: Wed Apr 01, 2009 9:25 pm 
 

Empyreal wrote:
Fuck, I missed the Left Hand Path review. What was it like?


I'd describe it as similar to the stuff by that sammyslamz guy, but slightly less obvious. By that, I mean he didn't mention the lack of breakdowns in every other sentence, he acutally used punctuation and capitalized correctly. Other than that, the content was the same: "this is an old grandpa's death metal, it was made 50 years ago" kind of stuff.
EDIT: Nevermind, link above.

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Empyreal
The Final Frontier

Joined: Thu Nov 30, 2006 6:58 pm
Posts: 35218
Location: Where the dead rule the night
PostPosted: Wed Apr 01, 2009 9:28 pm 
 

Yeah, that's really bad. It makes my Dark Moor review look good almost.
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Woolie_Wool
Facets of Predictability

Joined: Tue Jan 31, 2006 6:56 pm
Posts: 2119
Location: United States
PostPosted: Wed Apr 01, 2009 9:32 pm 
 

unclevladistav wrote:
Empyreal wrote:
Fuck, I missed the Left Hand Path review. What was it like?


I'd describe it as similar to the stuff by that sammyslamz guy, but slightly less obvious. By that, I mean he didn't mention the lack of breakdowns in every other sentence, he acutally used punctuation and capitalized correctly. Other than that, the content was the same: "this is an old grandpa's death metal, it was made 50 years ago" kind of stuff.
EDIT: Nevermind, link above.

Was the sammyslamman guy even a joke? I remember he amd his "band" had a myspace with some horrifying music on it.
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OzzyApu
Metal freak

Joined: Fri Oct 13, 2006 12:11 am
Posts: 10821
Location: Seattle
PostPosted: Wed Apr 01, 2009 9:51 pm 
 

One of the greatest death metal releases ever!!! - 95%
Written by Violent_Offender on July 13th, 2003

I'm sure you've read the other review posted here on this album, but you might as well ignore it. Yes, there are intros to every song, but they are just as badass as the music. Vocals that are simular to Chuck Schuldiner's and progressive death/thrash metal riffs that just plain KILL!!!! This album was released by Roadrunner when they were THE death metal label. There isnt anything negative I can say about this album. Every song is just plain awesome. "Twisted Truth" is a killer and slower groove oriented tune that breaks into a killer thrash based riff. Well folks, if you can get your hands on this album I definately recommend it. It's too bad these guys disbanded. This is what progressive death metal should sound like. Progressive, but not out of hand. HAIL!!!!

Is this one really necessary, considering it has 5 other reviews?

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=1015
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Radagast
Metal newbie

Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2004 6:41 pm
Posts: 224
Location: United Kingdom
PostPosted: Thu Apr 02, 2009 1:07 pm 
 

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=222198

Very little content other than "I thought it sucked."

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FlyEvolution
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Tue Mar 21, 2006 2:38 am
Posts: 8
PostPosted: Thu Apr 02, 2009 9:30 pm 
 

I'm gonna go ahead and nominate this character Tepes The Unweeping again, since it seems I was completely ignored last time.

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.ph ... 697#127248

His reviews are childish, uninformative, have little to no substance, and are mostly just curse words and personal attacks against the band and the people who like them, rather than criticism of the actual music.

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Woolie_Wool
Facets of Predictability

Joined: Tue Jan 31, 2006 6:56 pm
Posts: 2119
Location: United States
PostPosted: Thu Apr 02, 2009 10:01 pm 
 

Bringing up someone that the moderators have repeatedly declined to discipline for the same thing will not get you results.
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FlyEvolution
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Tue Mar 21, 2006 2:38 am
Posts: 8
PostPosted: Thu Apr 02, 2009 11:00 pm 
 

Woolie_Wool wrote:
Bringing up someone that the moderators have repeatedly declined to discipline for the same thing will not get you results.


Whose dick did he have to suck around here to get that crap he calls a review published?

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Empyreal
The Final Frontier

Joined: Thu Nov 30, 2006 6:58 pm
Posts: 35218
Location: Where the dead rule the night
PostPosted: Thu Apr 02, 2009 11:04 pm 
 

FlyEvolution wrote:
Woolie_Wool wrote:
Bringing up someone that the moderators have repeatedly declined to discipline for the same thing will not get you results.


Whose dick did he have to suck around here to get that crap he calls a review published?


It's well written and raises enough points to be accepted, get the fuck over it. Yes, it was obnoxious in places and he used his signature Tepes style, but honestly there wasn't much wrong with it. Just write your own review.
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FlyEvolution
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Tue Mar 21, 2006 2:38 am
Posts: 8
PostPosted: Thu Apr 02, 2009 11:13 pm 
 

Empyreal wrote:
FlyEvolution wrote:
Woolie_Wool wrote:
Bringing up someone that the moderators have repeatedly declined to discipline for the same thing will not get you results.


Whose dick did he have to suck around here to get that crap he calls a review published?


It's well written and raises enough points to be accepted, get the fuck over it. Yes, it was obnoxious in places and he used his signature Tepes style, but honestly there wasn't much wrong with it. Just write your own review.


Well I guess this answers my previous question.
"Signature Tepes style," heh. What a load.

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BastardHead
Worse than Stalin

Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2005 7:53 pm
Posts: 10861
Location: Oswego, Illinois
PostPosted: Thu Apr 02, 2009 11:31 pm 
 

FlyEvolution wrote:
Empyreal wrote:
FlyEvolution wrote:
Woolie_Wool wrote:
Bringing up someone that the moderators have repeatedly declined to discipline for the same thing will not get you results.


Whose dick did he have to suck around here to get that crap he calls a review published?


It's well written and raises enough points to be accepted, get the fuck over it. Yes, it was obnoxious in places and he used his signature Tepes style, but honestly there wasn't much wrong with it. Just write your own review.


Well I guess this answers my previous question.
"Signature Tepes style," heh. What a load.


Stop being a crybaby. He's bashed albums I like too, but he's good at what he does, and suck ass whiny reactions like yours are the stuff he feeds off of. If you really hate his style, just fucking ignore him.

I like him. His hyperbole really goes overboard at times, but overall he's a good enough writer to get his point across. And really, he's right about Equilibrium. That has to be the album with the most undeserved praise I've heard in a long while.
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FlyEvolution
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Tue Mar 21, 2006 2:38 am
Posts: 8
PostPosted: Fri Apr 03, 2009 12:06 am 
 

BastardHead wrote:
and suck ass whiny reactions like yours are the stuff he feeds off of.


And here I thought 4chan was one of the only forums where trolls are lauded as kings.

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Woolie_Wool
Facets of Predictability

Joined: Tue Jan 31, 2006 6:56 pm
Posts: 2119
Location: United States
PostPosted: Fri Apr 03, 2009 12:12 am 
 

Vlad Tepes is not just a troll, he actually makes genuine arguments. They may be often (usually) controversial if not inflammatory, but there's reasoning and sincerity behind them. The mods are not your mommy and will not scold Tepes for offending your oh-so-delicate sensibilities.
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FlyEvolution
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Tue Mar 21, 2006 2:38 am
Posts: 8
PostPosted: Fri Apr 03, 2009 12:26 am 
 

Woolie_Wool wrote:
Vlad Tepes is not just a troll, he actually makes genuine arguments. They may be often (usually) controversial if not inflammatory, but there's reasoning and sincerity behind them. The mods are not your mommy and will not scold Tepes for offending your oh-so-delicate sensibilities.


Really now? What's so genuine about this entire paragraph:

"The song writing is pure Finntroll knock-off (IE: a synthesis of the palest, most insipid "Black" Metal in the world, polka, disco, elevator music, and Power Metal) with a big cumshot of Euroflower Metal up the ass. I think the band hired Yngwie Malmsteen and Stratovarius to write something that sounded like Finntroll for them, and spent all the recording sessions sampling epic choruses and making extra accordion tracks to stick in later."

Half of his deal is simply just throwing shit at bands that aren't grimdark black metal that sounds like it was recorded into a metal trash can, in mono.

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failsafeman
Digital Dictator

Joined: Wed Sep 01, 2004 8:45 am
Posts: 11852
Location: In the Arena
PostPosted: Fri Apr 03, 2009 12:29 am 
 

Enough. It's not going anywhere, go whine about it on whatever other message boards you post on. I'm sure there will be plenty of other people there to agree with you that we're all a bunch of big meanies.
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FlyEvolution
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Tue Mar 21, 2006 2:38 am
Posts: 8
PostPosted: Fri Apr 03, 2009 12:50 am 
 

failsafeman wrote:
Enough. It's not going anywhere, go whine about it on whatever other message boards you post on. I'm sure there will be plenty of other people there to agree with you that we're all a bunch of big meanies.


Sure thing.

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LouFerrigno
Metal newbie

Joined: Thu Apr 02, 2009 9:47 pm
Posts: 352
Location: United States of America
PostPosted: Fri Apr 03, 2009 9:49 am 
 

There are a bunch of erroneous or strange characters in the text in OzzyApu's review of Xasthur's Nocturnal Poisoning. Makes it hard to read.
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OzzyApu
Metal freak

Joined: Fri Oct 13, 2006 12:11 am
Posts: 10821
Location: Seattle
PostPosted: Fri Apr 03, 2009 4:26 pm 
 

LouFerrigno wrote:
There are a bunch of erroneous or strange characters in the text in OzzyApu's review of Xasthur's Nocturnal Poisoning. Makes it hard to read.

That sometimes happens. Change your character encoding. Mine was on western when I just read it now and I changed it to Unicode and it was legible.
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Shadespawn
Metal newbie

Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2006 7:54 am
Posts: 126
Location: Germany
PostPosted: Sat Apr 04, 2009 3:14 am 
 

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=616#146192

Cryptwatcher's review. It's bad, adds nothing new to the pool and he also writes complete utter bullshit. Just read the review! He also states in his profile that he's 17 and 2 years into metal which is in contradiction to what he writes.

Nuke it.

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TheMartyrOfBeauty
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue Feb 24, 2009 1:34 pm
Posts: 124
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Sat Apr 04, 2009 6:33 pm 
 

FlyEvolution wrote:
I'm gonna go ahead and nominate this character Tepes The Unweeping again, since it seems I was completely ignored last time.

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.ph ... 697#127248

His reviews are childish, uninformative, have little to no substance, and are mostly just curse words and personal attacks against the band and the people who like them, rather than criticism of the actual music.


Well at least he likes the Meads Of Asphodel.

Shadespawn wrote:
http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=616#146192

Cryptwatcher's review. It's bad, adds nothing new to the pool and he also writes complete utter bullshit. Just read the review! He also states in his profile that he's 17 and 2 years into metal which is in contradiction to what he writes.

Nuke it.


"Death metal music is well known because of the dark symphonic classical music influence."

What?

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Noktorn
Metalhead

Joined: Fri Feb 11, 2005 5:31 pm
Posts: 1712
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sat Apr 04, 2009 10:41 pm 
 

Another Snxke review which can be deleted:

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=2091#267
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~Guest 76452
Metal freak

Joined: Mon Jul 31, 2006 8:40 pm
Posts: 4414
PostPosted: Sat Apr 04, 2009 11:15 pm 
 

Noktorn wrote:
Another Snxke review which can be deleted:

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=2091#267

Gassed and sent to the ovens!

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Shadespawn
Metal newbie

Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2006 7:54 am
Posts: 126
Location: Germany
PostPosted: Sun Apr 05, 2009 11:38 am 
 

http://metal-archives.com/review.php?id=20661

Spawnhorde's Boris review. Shitload of capital letters and eye-sore. Overall bad review.

http://metal-archives.com/review.php?id=616

and still waiting for that painful "Cryptwatcher" review to get nuked.

Cheers,
Aris.

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Hellrisen
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Jul 31, 2007 10:48 pm
Posts: 536
Location: thE ocEAN
PostPosted: Sun Apr 05, 2009 1:40 pm 
 

http://metal-archives.com/review.php?id=2936#30

Basically every other review is better than that one and it doesn't say anything other than "I like Cathedral's stoner metal output more"

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Vipunen
Metal newbie

Joined: Mon Nov 10, 2008 1:32 pm
Posts: 160
Location: Finland
PostPosted: Wed Apr 08, 2009 7:39 am 
 

Bloodbath's "Nightmares Made Flesh" has some reviews that could be wiped out.

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=47673#86498

Review by Il_Misanthrope.

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=47673#22604

Review by 3415.

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=47673#21348

Review by Cup_Of_Tea.

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=47673#19077

Review by TheSilentScream.

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=47673#7211

Review by Dawndeath.

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=47673#1951

And lastly, review by FearTheNome. It's an awful number, half of the current reviews actually, but they don't say anything that the fresher reviews don't say better. Some of them could still be argued, of course.

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morbert
Metalhead

Joined: Wed Mar 14, 2007 2:36 am
Posts: 1277
PostPosted: Wed Apr 08, 2009 7:55 am 
 

Typical. I was just busy on writing something for that..

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ThaBrutalestGutterol
Metal newbie

Joined: Thu Apr 09, 2009 4:29 pm
Posts: 38
PostPosted: Thu Apr 09, 2009 5:15 pm 
 

I find it pretty damnn strange these shantanupatni1991 reviews haven't been nuked already....

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.ph ... 775#133043

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.ph ... 777#133043

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.ph ... 776#133043

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.ph ... 897#133043

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.ph ... 854#133043

Also this grimdoom's review deserved to be removed. Too short, poorly written and completely redundant.

Same with this review of corviderrant.
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Last edited by ThaBrutalestGutterol on Fri Apr 10, 2009 7:29 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Gravemarker
The Bloody Heartland

Joined: Thu Dec 11, 2008 5:32 pm
Posts: 1416
Location: United States
PostPosted: Thu Apr 09, 2009 5:49 pm 
 

Gravemarker wrote:
Like most of the reviews by this user, this review is too short and tells me little to nothing about the music:

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.ph ... 4315#74528


bump.
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Derigin
The Mountain Man

Joined: Sun Jan 01, 2006 6:25 am
Posts: 5999
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Thu Apr 09, 2009 10:44 pm 
 

Gravemarker wrote:
Like most of the reviews by this user, this review is too short and tells me little to nothing about the music:

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.ph ... 4315#74528

It's the only review for that album, and while it's brief on description, there's still enough description for its inclusion. It will stay.

It's one thing to keep in mind. If it's the only review for that album, then the standards for its inclusion are less than those albums with many more reviews. It's better to have some description then nothing at all.


Last edited by Derigin on Thu Apr 09, 2009 10:47 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Gravemarker
The Bloody Heartland

Joined: Thu Dec 11, 2008 5:32 pm
Posts: 1416
Location: United States
PostPosted: Thu Apr 09, 2009 10:46 pm 
 

Derigin wrote:
Gravemarker wrote:
Like most of the reviews by this user, this review is too short and tells me little to nothing about the music:

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.ph ... 4315#74528

It's the only review for that album, and while it's brief on description, there's still enough description for its inclusion. It will stay.

It's one thing to keep in mind. If it's the only review for that album, then the standards for its inclusion are less than those albums with many more reviews. It's better to have some description then nothing at all.


I know that, but I didn't know the standards were lowered that drastically. :(
But I suppose you're right, It's better to have little than nothing.
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hells_unicorn
Veteran

Joined: Tue Feb 15, 2005 8:32 pm
Posts: 3057
Location: United States
PostPosted: Thu Apr 09, 2009 11:49 pm 
 

Gravemarker wrote:
Derigin wrote:
Gravemarker wrote:
Like most of the reviews by this user, this review is too short and tells me little to nothing about the music:

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.ph ... 4315#74528

It's the only review for that album, and while it's brief on description, there's still enough description for its inclusion. It will stay.

It's one thing to keep in mind. If it's the only review for that album, then the standards for its inclusion are less than those albums with many more reviews. It's better to have some description then nothing at all.


I know that, but I didn't know the standards were lowered that drastically. :(
But I suppose you're right, It's better to have little than nothing.


My old friend erickg13, what ever happened to him, he used to be pretty good competition whenever we had a review challenge, now he's stopped writing them altogether. Granted, this isn't one of his finer moments.
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Napero
GedankenPanzer

Joined: Sun Jan 02, 2005 4:16 pm
Posts: 8817
Location: Finland
PostPosted: Fri Apr 10, 2009 6:47 am 
 

That review can indeed stay, I don't think we'll ever get another for the album, or even the band itself, for that matter.

Erick is currently somewhere in a School of Men, probably right now being yelled at by a mean drill sergeant with a huge vocabulary of profanities, or maybe he's crying himself to sleep in bunk on a ship. He joined the Navy and wants be become Rambo.
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hells_unicorn
Veteran

Joined: Tue Feb 15, 2005 8:32 pm
Posts: 3057
Location: United States
PostPosted: Fri Apr 10, 2009 8:51 am 
 

Napero wrote:
That review can indeed stay, I don't think we'll ever get another for the album, or even the band itself, for that matter.

Erick is currently somewhere in a School of Men, probably right now being yelled at by a mean drill sergeant with a huge vocabulary of profanities, or maybe he's crying himself to sleep in bunk on a ship. He joined the Navy and wants be become Rambo.


tsk tsk, another one bites the dust. Oh well, as long as he's not in the Army he'll have good odds at surviving. I'm not sure why anyone would want to serve the crop of bastards that have been running things in DC for the past 50 years, but if you get to wear a red headband and kick some ass, I guess it has its appeal.
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Gravemarker
The Bloody Heartland

Joined: Thu Dec 11, 2008 5:32 pm
Posts: 1416
Location: United States
PostPosted: Fri Apr 10, 2009 9:12 am 
 

There's enough good reviews for this album that this one is unnecessary, being very short and not very descriptive:

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=32363#1183

same goes for this one:

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=984#1183

and this one:

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=34304#1183

and this one as well:

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=2685#1183


EDIT: found another worthless review, especially for a popular and well known release as this one:

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=47673#21348
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EntilZha
Retired

Joined: Fri Apr 25, 2008 9:22 pm
Posts: 2115
PostPosted: Fri Apr 10, 2009 10:29 am 
 

Beherit review by hellhippie:

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.ph ... 576#154259

Formatting needs fixing.
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Karnstein_Records
Not yet ready for a custom title

Joined: Tue Jan 06, 2009 11:32 am
Posts: 1201
Location: United Kingdom
PostPosted: Sat Apr 11, 2009 9:42 am 
 

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=36603

Unnecessary track-by-track review.
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Tantalus
Metalhead

Joined: Mon Sep 12, 2005 6:18 pm
Posts: 943
Location: United Kingdom
PostPosted: Sun Apr 12, 2009 5:48 am 
 

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.ph ... 312#112081

Incoherent, badly punctuated, and the score seems to bear no resemblence to the review.
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ForNaught
Metalhead

Joined: Mon Mar 27, 2006 5:37 pm
Posts: 1093
PostPosted: Sun Apr 12, 2009 6:51 am 
 

I'm surprised that one was accepted without asking him to correct the tags, at the least.
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