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invoked
Metalhead

Joined: Fri Sep 01, 2006 6:54 pm
Posts: 1525
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sun Aug 02, 2009 5:43 pm 
 

That doomknocker review is absolutely godawful. He does little more than say "Varg is an asshole and this album sucks", displaying almost no evidence that he even listened to the entire album. Burzum tends to get its share of unwarranted criticism every once in a while, but this review is just too poor to be excused.
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Jarnroth
hurr hurr i post whiel drunk

Joined: Sat Apr 14, 2007 9:09 am
Posts: 902
Location: Sweden
PostPosted: Sun Aug 02, 2009 8:37 pm 
 

"...multi-Vocodered Norwegian rants"

lolwut?
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AdjectiveNoun
Metal newbie

Joined: Wed Jul 08, 2009 9:37 am
Posts: 67
PostPosted: Mon Aug 03, 2009 10:27 am 
 

http://metal-archives.com/review.php?id=152048#29088

The review by BM_DM......don't really need to explain. It just is awful.

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EntilZha
Retired

Joined: Fri Apr 25, 2008 9:22 pm
Posts: 2115
PostPosted: Mon Aug 03, 2009 4:07 pm 
 

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=538

Some of the oldest ones can be cleared out. You'll recogize them by the formatting.
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OzzyApu
Metal freak

Joined: Fri Oct 13, 2006 12:11 am
Posts: 10821
Location: Seattle
PostPosted: Tue Aug 04, 2009 10:37 pm 
 

Review for Prong's Cleansing:

Good but also bad - 60%
Written by Thrash_Till_Death on October 3rd, 2002

...

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=4094

No description whatsoever on anything, just says that select songs are good, select songs Prong is famous for, select songs that are my favorite, and the rest is wack. I'm writing a review for this album already that I will submit today, so this one can bite the dust.

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Shadespawn
Metal newbie

Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2006 7:54 am
Posts: 126
Location: Germany
PostPosted: Sun Aug 09, 2009 10:29 am 
 

http://metal-archives.com/review.php?id=2397

Anzuhan's review of Saxon's "Strong arm of the law" is pretty bad. He also does little to no musical description and bad formatting.

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Apparate
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Sun Aug 09, 2009 3:44 pm
Posts: 3
Location: Tokelau
PostPosted: Sun Aug 09, 2009 9:53 pm 
 

Recently, I've come across AcridPlacidity3's review for Nagelfar's demo, Als die Tore sich öffnen.

I believe that this review should be deleted, as there isn't enough content, pertaining to how the music sounds like on the demo - as in there's only one small paragraph, which consists of the entire review.

Furthermore, the review fails to elaborate upon the descriptions that are presented within the writing, thus leaving an empty and bare presentation of the writer's opinions on the demo.

Overall, I feel that the said review in question does not adequately present a well-constructed, informative, and descriptive opinion, in which the reader can digest, before they may listen to the reviewed release.

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The_Evil_Hat
Metal newbie

Joined: Mon Mar 03, 2008 10:23 pm
Posts: 65
Location: United States
PostPosted: Wed Aug 12, 2009 9:16 pm 
 

I'm not sure if this is the right place or not, but i noticed that my score's dropped by five points. i don't really care about the points themselves, but it made me think that a review was deleted. i can't figure out which one, and, since i don't see it mentioned here, i was just wondering if someone could clarify which/why, if possible.

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Sean16
Moody Tabulator of Torn Hymens

Joined: Sat May 07, 2005 11:03 am
Posts: 394
Location: France
PostPosted: Thu Aug 13, 2009 3:13 am 
 

Points aren't taken when a review is deleted.

I don't see why a mod would penalize you of only five points. Are you sure you remembered your old total well?
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Eclipsem
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Fri Aug 07, 2009 11:26 pm
Posts: 14
Location: United States of America
PostPosted: Thu Aug 13, 2009 4:28 am 
 

This review of the Black Dahlia Murder's "Nocturnal" is ridiculous. His shallow first impression of the album cover biased his every single thought on the music.

I know we all have off days and I don't blame whoever accepted this, but this one really needs to go.

bl00df1r3d34th's review of "Nocturnal"
http://www.metal-archives.com/review.ph ... 985#145164

Furthermore, a quarter of the critic's reviews have scores higher than 40%, the rest being extremely low or simply a 0. After reading a couple, it became clear that this guy must be nearly catatonic or something, judging by the albums he gave good and bad scores (there is indeed a trend).

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hakarl
Metel fraek

Joined: Sat Sep 29, 2007 1:41 pm
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Location: Finland
PostPosted: Thu Aug 13, 2009 8:54 am 
 

He's one of the reviewers who resort to witty insults rather than valid and justified criticism or musical description. However, he is entitled to his opinions, and the vague descriptions there are do appear to meet the minimum standards of metal-archives, if you ask me.

Sadly, reviews aren't deleted because someone thinks the critic is a moron. Even if everyone did, as long as it meets the standards, it tends to stay. Also, keep in mind that when a negative review is posted on a well-rated album, the standards aren't as high as they would be for a positive review of the same release.
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Karnstein_Records
Not yet ready for a custom title

Joined: Tue Jan 06, 2009 11:32 am
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Location: United Kingdom
PostPosted: Thu Aug 13, 2009 11:31 am 
 

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=79233

"Black metal is the name of clean black metal like Antestor and Crimson Moonlight, but Unblack metal means raw, old-school sounding one-man bands"

What the fuck?
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The_Evil_Hat
Metal newbie

Joined: Mon Mar 03, 2008 10:23 pm
Posts: 65
Location: United States
PostPosted: Thu Aug 13, 2009 11:59 am 
 

Sean16 wrote:
Points aren't taken when a review is deleted.

I don't see why a mod would penalize you of only five points. Are you sure you remembered your old total well?

I thought i did, but seeing as i can't think of anything worth a penalty, and as that seems to make quite a bit of sense, i guess i was mistaken. Thank you for clearing that up.

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BastardHead
Worse than Stalin

Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2005 7:53 pm
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Location: Oswego, Illinois
PostPosted: Thu Aug 13, 2009 1:26 pm 
 

Macabre's Dahmer, while only having three reviews, only has one worth keeping if you ask me. A one paragraph wonder track by track for a 26 track album? Those should definitely go, or at least I think so. I'll write one within the week to help fill the space regardless.

EDIT: I guess I should explicitly state that the newest one is the only good one, in case it wasn't clear.
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Derigin
The Mountain Man

Joined: Sun Jan 01, 2006 6:25 am
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PostPosted: Thu Aug 13, 2009 3:54 pm 
 

I dislike removing reviews for albums with few reviews, but you're right. Those two are atrocious.

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Eclipsem
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Fri Aug 07, 2009 11:26 pm
Posts: 14
Location: United States of America
PostPosted: Thu Aug 13, 2009 4:55 pm 
 

Ilwhyan wrote:
Also, keep in mind that when a negative review is posted on a well-rated album, the standards aren't as high as they would be for a positive review of the same release.


That seems like very childish reasoning. It doesn't make any sense that they would lower the standards for submission of a review on a popular album, unless whoever was accepting them wanted to spite the band.

The reviewer in question wether this particular reviewer even listened to the album. None of his descriptions sound remotely like the music he critiques. His insults weren't even witty!

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Sean16
Moody Tabulator of Torn Hymens

Joined: Sat May 07, 2005 11:03 am
Posts: 394
Location: France
PostPosted: Fri Aug 14, 2009 3:08 am 
 

Childish, why? The site simply wants to reflect different opinions. When you're the tenth person writing a positive review for album X, it becomes quite hard to come up with something new so of course the standards are higher, while when you're the first to write a negative review it will have the merit of originality.

Note that it also works the other way round. If an album has overall received bad feedback it will be far easier to have a positive review accepted. Write a review praising American Soldier and I'm pretty sure it will be accepted with only minimal musical description (that you'll be singled out for having awful musical tastes is another matter).

That's the reason why no album has more than 25 reviews though there is no "official" reviews cap; when 20+ reviews are written you can be sure pretty much every kind of opinion has been voiced.
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hakarl
Metel fraek

Joined: Sat Sep 29, 2007 1:41 pm
Posts: 8817
Location: Finland
PostPosted: Fri Aug 14, 2009 10:43 am 
 

Eclipsem wrote:
Ilwhyan wrote:
Also, keep in mind that when a negative review is posted on a well-rated album, the standards aren't as high as they would be for a positive review of the same release.


That seems like very childish reasoning. It doesn't make any sense that they would lower the standards for submission of a review on a popular album, unless whoever was accepting them wanted to spite the band.!
That's idiotic. Obviously the reason for this is that the moderators want each album to have a wide spectrum of reviews so that both good things and flaws are represented, and in general each review should say something that the others haven't. Also, from my experience, if an album gets several very positive reviews, the criteria for negative ones doesn't lower, but rather, the positive reviews need to be better and better. Obviously if there are only positive reviews, a negative one doesn't need much ingenuity to add something new.

So, by all this I mean that if the album in question had several negative reviews, then removing one bad review wouldn't hurt as much as removing the only negative one for the album.

Eclipsem wrote:
The reviewer in question wether this particular reviewer even listened to the album. None of his descriptions sound remotely like the music he critiques. His insults weren't even witty!
You come off as a fanboy angry about someone dissing his favourite band. While I agree with some of that, all that is a matter of opinion, you see, reviews aren't deleted for not being witty. I haven't heard the album so I can't comment on the accuracy of the musical description, except that it indeed is vague and does fail to properly explain what makes the music so terrible, but there is description.

To clarify, I'm not defending the said review. I'm just saying that it isn't as bad as the average deleted review, and trying to explain why it might not be very likely to be removed.
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meteora666
Metal newbie

Joined: Sat Jan 06, 2007 2:57 pm
Posts: 39
Location: Romania
PostPosted: Sat Aug 15, 2009 4:48 am 
 

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=6555#123274

Track-by-track review

P.S. The interesting thing is I wrote a track-by-track review for this same album years ago, when I was still very new to the metal-archives and a noob, and it wasn't accepted. Today I happened to come across this, it was like déjà vu:)
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Sean16
Moody Tabulator of Torn Hymens

Joined: Sat May 07, 2005 11:03 am
Posts: 394
Location: France
PostPosted: Sat Aug 15, 2009 5:40 am 
 

Track by track maybe, but there's still enough musical description. With only 6 reviews for this album it can perfectly stay.

If there were something to nuke on this page I'd rather look at the bottom of the page and the minimal first review (besides Falco's is as awful as everything the guy ever pulled out, though probably descriptive enough to stay, unfortunately).
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cinedracusio
Metal newbie

Joined: Thu May 26, 2005 7:59 am
Posts: 169
Location: Romania
PostPosted: Sat Aug 15, 2009 8:09 am 
 

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=183
Five_Nails should try doing a less ambiguous review. I got really dizzy from reading rather contradictory statements.
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Mantis44
Metal newbie

Joined: Mon Dec 27, 2004 10:46 am
Posts: 249
Location: United States of America
PostPosted: Fri Aug 21, 2009 7:52 pm 
 

I don't know if anyone has done this before, but I'd like one of my own reviews deleted if possible.

Smash in your skull! Kick out your brains! - 93%
Written by Mantis44 on May 3rd, 2007
http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=1377#24902

I had no idea what I was talking about at the time, and I sound like a fucking idiot. The last part is just a catch-all for the "track-by-track" paragraph in the middle.

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BastardHead
Worse than Stalin

Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2005 7:53 pm
Posts: 10861
Location: Oswego, Illinois
PostPosted: Fri Aug 21, 2009 8:48 pm 
 

You can delete it yourself. Just click the link as if you're going to write a review, and your review will already be in the box, just click delete.
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Mantis44
Metal newbie

Joined: Mon Dec 27, 2004 10:46 am
Posts: 249
Location: United States of America
PostPosted: Fri Aug 21, 2009 10:43 pm 
 

BastardHead wrote:
You can delete it yourself. Just click the link as if you're going to write a review, and your review will already be in the box, just click delete.


:durr: I feel like an idiot now. Thanks.

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BastardHead
Worse than Stalin

Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2005 7:53 pm
Posts: 10861
Location: Oswego, Illinois
PostPosted: Sat Aug 22, 2009 12:39 am 
 

Mantis44 wrote:
BastardHead wrote:
You can delete it yourself. Just click the link as if you're going to write a review, and your review will already be in the box, just click delete.


:durr: I feel like an idiot now. Thanks.


No need to feel stupid, I feel like I explain that once a month.
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Sean16
Moody Tabulator of Torn Hymens

Joined: Sat May 07, 2005 11:03 am
Posts: 394
Location: France
PostPosted: Sat Aug 22, 2009 11:40 am 
 

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.ph ... 9637#62353

Quote:
Still going strong...? - 60%
Written by blackforest on January 17th, 2008

Been going strong since 1982, W.A.S.P. is to be considered as pioneers within the metal genre. I’m not into motorcycles, and I’m not into dressing in drag. However, I really like what W.A.S.P. has to offer. To be honest I haven’t been listening to them that much since “Unholy Terror” in 2001, and I don’t think I’ve missed THAT much either.

Anyway, I think that “The Dominator” is a fresh release from the veterans of W.A.S.P. The album is filled with the attitude of W.A.S.P. as we know them, and the songs are catchy as they’ve always used to be. In other words, this is nothing innovative or progressive, but W.A.S.P. seems to keep their safe line. So the questions have to be asked; “Do we need W.A.S.P. anno 2007?”, “Have W.A.S.P.’s right to exist exceeded?”. Well, no one else than the individual listener can answer these questions, but to speak for myself I would rather put on old classic songs such as "Wild Child", "L.O.V.E. machine" or "I wanna be somebody".

But do not misunderstand me; W.A.S.P. is still a good band, and if they keep their standard routine, they will also be one in the future. There are some highlights on this album, such as the song "Heaven’s Blessed", which makes the CD worth listening to. Overall an acceptable release, which unfortunately doesn’t stand out as anything special.


Tells exactly nothing.
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Noktorn
Metalhead

Joined: Fri Feb 11, 2005 5:31 pm
Posts: 1712
Location: United States
PostPosted: Tue Aug 25, 2009 1:53 am 
 

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=223402

Apparently it's a brutal death band. I guess, I couldn't identify that if he didn't say it directly since there's about one sentence of musical description among three paragraphs.
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MetalStrikesDown
Metal newbie

Joined: Mon Jul 23, 2007 4:02 pm
Posts: 116
PostPosted: Tue Aug 25, 2009 11:55 am 
 

Noktorn wrote:
http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=223402

Apparently it's a brutal death band. I guess, I couldn't identify that if he didn't say it directly since there's about one sentence of musical description among three paragraphs.

Well there's a little more than a sentence there. What exactly do you suggest so I could make it better?

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Empyreal
The Final Frontier

Joined: Thu Nov 30, 2006 6:58 pm
Posts: 35221
Location: Where the dead rule the night
PostPosted: Tue Aug 25, 2009 11:59 am 
 

Take out all that crap about the people who probably listen to the music. That was baaaaad.
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~Guest 126069
Skanky

Joined: Sun Sep 30, 2007 3:47 pm
Posts: 2149
PostPosted: Tue Aug 25, 2009 12:03 pm 
 

Things I can gather from that review. It has chugging, movie samples, and is brutal death metal. That could honestly be anything from Internal Bleeding to Mortician.

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Noktorn
Metalhead

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Location: United States
PostPosted: Tue Aug 25, 2009 12:59 pm 
 

Also justify why it's a 0%, which means that the album literally raped your children to death in front of you, instead of getting a more moderate score.
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MetalStrikesDown
Metal newbie

Joined: Mon Jul 23, 2007 4:02 pm
Posts: 116
PostPosted: Tue Aug 25, 2009 1:17 pm 
 

I am just having a colossal brain fart and can't think of what to put in there.

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Spenot
Metalhead

Joined: Fri Aug 10, 2007 3:58 am
Posts: 540
Location: Romania
PostPosted: Wed Aug 26, 2009 5:41 am 
 

http://metal-archives.com/review.php?id=68780#26762

Quote:
Maybe things pick up somewhat during the second CD, but the promo version I got only came with the first disc so I can’t say.

Does this count as an incomplete review?
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hells_unicorn
Veteran

Joined: Tue Feb 15, 2005 8:32 pm
Posts: 3057
Location: United States
PostPosted: Wed Aug 26, 2009 11:20 am 
 

Spenot wrote:
http://metal-archives.com/review.php?id=68780#26762

Quote:
Maybe things pick up somewhat during the second CD, but the promo version I got only came with the first disc so I can’t say.

Does this count as an incomplete review?


The general practice is that reviews based on incomplete promos are no longer acceptable, so that review will likely be deleted by a mod shortly.
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Pale_Pilgrim
Metalhead

Joined: Wed Mar 25, 2009 4:01 pm
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Location: Canada
PostPosted: Sun Aug 30, 2009 5:57 pm 
 

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=145081#69607

This review by Im_Tony_Danza is incredibly immmature/bitchy, and tells me nothing other than he thinks Dimmu Borgir suck and should die, and that there's lots of orchestral parts. I love his opener though: "This is the worst CD ever made by anyone". Heh.
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alexlovestheredchord
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Joined: Wed Jul 25, 2007 2:16 pm
Posts: 363
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PostPosted: Mon Aug 31, 2009 10:39 pm 
 

http://www.metal-archives.com/band.php?id=2854

the review is of Funeral Mist-Maranatha by Prozak, just read the part where he compares it to a Roman prostitute.
hahaha

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MercyfulSatyr
Coelacanthine Cadaver

Joined: Sun Mar 23, 2008 9:22 pm
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Location: United States
PostPosted: Tue Sep 01, 2009 12:06 pm 
 

alexlovestheredchord wrote:
http://www.metal-archives.com/band.php?id=2854

the review is of Funeral Mist-Maranatha by Prozak, just read the part where he compares it to a Roman prostitute.
hahaha


I don't see how this needs to be deleted. But for anyone else who wants to look, here's a quicker link.
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thomash
Metal Philosopher

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PostPosted: Tue Sep 01, 2009 1:20 pm 
 

Prozak really doesn't speak about the music very much at all in that review. I don't know if it's bad enough to take it down; I think his characterization is completely inaccurate, but that's not necessarily a reason to take it down according to the standards of this site. The question is whether the following paragraph, which is the only commentary in the review that speaks directly to the music, is a sufficient anchor for the rest of the review:

prozak wrote:
Since it's easier to communicate, we'll start with the style. A Summoning-style melodic black metal riff rises, repeats, and then we launch into an updated version of later Gorefest -- really rigid, percussion-heavy death metal riffs -- before diving into the main riff, a hybrid of Ministry and Pantera that rides a bouncy rhythm with a muted strum. This pattern repeats in every song, with frequent interruptions for "important" pauses and vocal interludes; the different pieces vary, but they are thrown together at random, and this is one reason why these songs resemble later Dimmu Borgir: they're carnival music that tries to distract you by being outlandish so you don't notice there's no agenda, nothing poetic or even nifty to communicate.

Honestly, I think that this is just empirically false. I'd like to see prozak explain how "White Stone" or "Blessed Curse," for example, fit his formula that applies to 'every song.' Since it's the only musical commentary that justifies the rest of his rant, I'm not entirely certain that the review meets the standards for the MA now that there are several other reviews for the album.

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invoked
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Location: United States
PostPosted: Fri Sep 04, 2009 7:27 pm 
 

If MA standards dictated that we have to remove every single "inaccurate characterization", there would probably be about half as many reviews on this site. Unless the musical description doesn't apply to the music at all, I think I can read a review and decide whether an album may interest me without demanding in-depth description of every minute detail. Of course, I haven't actually heard this album in particular, but it seems the reviewer is just trying to give a broad summary of how it sounds. Not the best review ever (even by Prozak standards), but not worthy of deletion in my opinion.
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Visionary
Metalhead

Joined: Sun Jul 24, 2005 3:57 pm
Posts: 1766
Location: United States of America
PostPosted: Fri Sep 04, 2009 8:37 pm 
 

Quote:
Godspeed to the back of my closet... - 65%
Written by Metz on October 30th, 2008

.. but not as far back as Nymphetamine or Thornography.

This is the first review I have written, btu I felt like I had to share my thoughts on this album. Cradle of Filth's big new release sort of crept up on me. I was aware that something was coming, but I only heard about it's release date a mere week before it hot the shelves.

I'm not going to give much of a song-by-song rundown because, frankly, all the songs seem to sound about the same. Old Cradle of Filth is much superior to the new Cradle, but I guess it was too much to hope that they would produce something as dark and wholesome as the old stuff, just because they said they would. Nevertheless, 'Godspeed on the Devil's Thunder' is a step back in the right direction, just not far enough of one.

-Now lets see, typical Cradle instrumental songs, those are okay.

-'Shat out of Hell' is a song that kind of stood out to me. After hearing Dani's screams in the first few lines, I thought that he almost had his good scream back (but he managed to disproved that over the course of the album). I'll give them credit for writing good music though, some of the riffs almost feel just a little bit like black metal if I dare say.

-Next was 'The Death of Love'.. here we see that Cradle is still wasting their talent with their new inferior sound. This 7-minute.. thing.. that made me want to turn off my speakers reminded me of their 'Temptation' cover shit-song. Well editing, I might add that songs like this and 'Temptation' make Cradle seem like weak fuckin' pussies. (Excuse the immature words, but it pisses me off to see so many sweet bands go so soft. Oh well.. still got Gorgoroth and Darkthrone (mostly) ,,/)

A couple more mediocre tracks and we come to 'Honey and Sulphur'. This track stood out to me as well, only because it reminded me of what Dimmu Borgir are doing these days. The little attempt at an epic feeling would have better served as a little attempt at making some truly macabre-sounding song such as off of Dusk or Cruelty. Ah how I miss the good old days when they didn't use whole orchestras.. and when they used 100+ gallons of blood in a music video shoot..

A few songs later brings us to the title track. This and 'Shat out of Hell' are the two songs that I might listen to for entertaining purposes. Nice little solo, some thrashy riffs, Dani plays around with his voice a little bit in a good way. Not many complaints here; could do without the bell clanging at the end though.

To sum up 'Godspeed on the Devil's Thunder':
It is an improvement over the last few albums, but certainly not what they keep promising to us. It is nice to see Paul soloing more these days though. Also, the lyrics in this album are darker and better represent the reputation Cradle used to have than the lyrics in the other recent albums. I'll give this album a 65%, because it seems like they are really trying, but it is almost as if they have forgotten how to write like they did in the past. 65% for effort, guys.

I don't think Cradle will ever give me what I'm hoping for again, so I'm just gonna pop in their demo tapes and reminisce while the dust collects on this disc.

http://metal-archives.com/review.php?id=212528#155185

Mostly just a dull track by track, not written very eloquently, and rather lacking in musical description.
_________________
taleskiss on Kiss wrote:
They influenced MOST of the metal bands of our days, and they are not part of this site? This is unacceptable!!!
I would like to know why is that???
Because they are not considered metal? This is not fare!!!

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