On a dark night, a terrible storm ravaged the land, bringing damnation for all those who weren’t protected in their houses. The terrifying wind had never been so strong. In that terrible night, Quorthon was born.

He grew on a small village on Scandinavia, living as a normal person. However, when he was 18, the ‘Reaper’ made himself present before him. Gruesome and distorted, he moved in an incredible speed. The beast then spoke to the young Quorthon with a horrid, scary voice, like no human had ever heard before: “Thou shall be the human salvation, thou shall bring my Lord damnation”. And so the creature tried to kill the young man.

In a desperate act, Quorthon begged for his life, and offered everything he could give. In the depths of the dreadful valleys of ‘Hades’, a place of darkness and evil where the damned were forced to march at unforgiving speed commanded by hellish demons with infernal voices, Satan heard his pleas.

The Reaper was ordered to stop, and Quorthon was brought before Lucifer. A deal was made, and Quorthon was then ‘In conspiracy with Satan’. With that deal, the young man would have to follow Satan’s orders, to kill, destroy and torture as fast as possible, with no mercy for those who crossed his way. He was immediately possessed with anger and wrath.

The mistake was done, and so the young man had to wander the forests and plains of Scandinavia, taking the life of those in his way. One day, Quorthon found a circle of men in a glade, practicing ‘Necromansy’. The ritual was filled with ruthless, sharp words, and a sense of brutality could be felt with each word pronounced.

They were intending to realize a bloody, shocking ‘Sacrifice’ of pure bestiality. And even though Quorthon had no mind of his own, he felt an urge to stop that ritual. But he wasn’t fast enough, for the necromancers said the words with remarkable speed. On that moment, a lightning fell from the sky, magically imploding the crying virgin.

The necromancers proceeded to a different ritual, this time with the intent to ‘Raise the Dead’. It was slower than the previous ritual, and Quorthon could hear church bells in the distance. The rain started to pour intensely. The atmosphere of the moment was heavy, pounding. And so the poor man attacked the necromancers.

It was a difficult battle, and he was nearly dying when a man with white hair and a single eye appeared, killing the enemies instantly. A sense of familiarity was felt by Quorthon. The tall, white haired man then introduced himself as Odin. He broke the bonds with Satan, and explained to the young warrior that he was chosen by him to fight on a great, upcoming “War”, that would be short but brutal and relentless, eventually leading to “Armageddon”. The end of the world, said Odin, would be the most insane moment in mankind’s history, and also the most unforgettable.

So Quorthon, now free from Satan’s command, decided to follow the path Odin had set for him, and try to stop the final battle from starting. This was just a prelude of things to come, he felt, and the greatest moments were still to come, but it was a great beginning, nevertheless.

To be continued…

Haha, seriously though, who let that through.

I'd like to humbly ask why this wasn't rejected?

breakdown's

breakdown's

I'd like to humbly ask why this wasn't rejected?

For Gardenian's Two Feet Stand:

"Suddenly I wanna re-enjoy Gardenian, to recall the day I met Swedish Metal. So Two feet stand was putted in, well, it's not bad and writting something 'bout this Album is essential.

I can talk shortly: music is near At the Gates, Arch Enemy ( and In Flames, of course ), if you like that bands, Gardenian'll be your good friends. Drums goad incredible in #1 and Freedom. The begining of #2 is a brand new beauty, and female vocals make this song become more and more proud. Gardenian's rarely crazy in playing their music but often turn Death Metal to Thrash, softer and sweeter. Still some hard-riffs there, as the sturdiness for all. Netherworld gives me a melodiously bourn in vastly forest. Then, Do me now carry on high speed, look ! the way they're playing guitars is the difference between Old School Death and Swedish Death. You can view this point again in #9. The silent fall lulls me, this song ended Two feet stand as it was one of best Instrumentals. All noises have gone, there's just hush now, and in my mind still this proposition: The voices in my head twist my mind ( Mindless Domination ).

Anyhow, Two feet stand is just one of good Swedish Metal Albums, rain! I hope you like it, if you were, tell me your drifts."

I think the poor guy did it in his own language then ran it through an online translator.

You shouldn't have gone and done that, pa.

Also, check the most recent one here:
http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=16809

Think theres no need to elaborate, the review wasn't written by the author but merely reproduced with permission. Not exactly plagiarizm, but still not acceptable by the guidelines.

(I've also tagged that via "report a mistake" on the band page, but that happened before I've rediscovered the "Oven Fodder")

You reported that earlier, for another band. You must know something I don't, because the review's alleged authorship is in line with the profile that is submitting it--that is, StoneMaiden's profile indicates that she is Talia Helene. The silly and unnecessary quasi-legalese at the end of her reviews isn't supposed to indicate that she's posting them on someone's behalf. It's just a writer's stamp, basically. A mark of propriety.

Netherworld gives me a melodiously bourn in vastly forest. Then, Do me now carry on high speed, look !

My bad, then, apparently I've got the "reproduced by permission of the author" line wrong.

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=245719

This one isn't in need of deletion on grounds of quality, but it has been submitted against the wrong Order of Ennead album. The recording of the second album has only just been finished.

10 Years of Chaos and Confusion, and I am two years late. I would slap my own face, but at least I got here in time. Late – very late – but I am, definitely, and finally, here.
My first contact with Hypocrisy was in a car. I had to admit I had a certain prejudice – I don’t really know why, maybe because the human being can not understand properly the difference, or maybe because the name did not tell me much. In sum: pure narrow-mindedness. Okay. Huuum. That sounded good. That sounded REALLY good, what the hell was that? It was, indeed, Hypocrisy.
I think what made me more surprised about the band is that, despite the fact they are a death metal band, they sound so singular. Oh, yes, it’s always about the originality thing. They manage to sound really heavy, but still…atmospheric. Keyboards are allowed, at times; but they’re just in the exact volume to make you notice and distinguish them, but not to be bothered. I admire Peter Tägtgren for many reasons, but his great abilities as a producer is, undoubtedly, the most important one.
In this CD, you can clearly tell the difference between Masse Bromberg and Peter, which is also a plus. Of course, you could say that, being Penetralia Hypocrisy’s first album, it was rawer. Well, the songs were re-recorded. I can also add that I am not a huge fan of distorted bass lines, but in Hypocrisy they sound perfect.
This one is the kind of album you never get tired listening to. It deserves a perfect ten.

I don't want to rage specifically on AIC's Dirt, but the first review on that page it horribly written.

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=3959#902

It's got some decent-ness to it, but it's filled with gramatically errors, punctuation issues, lazy formatting, and more emphasis on calling out the drugs side of things rather than describing the music.

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=661#135223

colin040's the buzzwords! THE BUZZWORDS!

The Beast, Indeed - 100%
Written by pulverized on September 27th, 2004

This album is another reason why Vader is one of my favorite bands. When I first heard Doc wouldn’t be pulling drum duty on this album, I was quite worried that it wouldn’t stack up against their past releases. Even at first I didn’t like the drum sound or playing at all, but after I listened to it a couple of times the drums really grew on me and I love the sound, Daray is an excellent drummer, at times I feel he surpasses Doc. Well, back to what this review is supposed to be about, the music. That’s it, the music.. the most important part about this album. Vader play in a more “melodic” way than on previous albums, incorporating many styles similar to Death, which is stripped down death metal. The solos are very different than older Vader, they are played with much more focus and beauty on this album. Don’t worry Vader-heads, Vader still kicks in the amazingly fast riffs and mind numbing drumming they are known for. The stand-out track is The Sea Came In At Last, very different for Vader, Peter uses a new type of clean vocal never heard in Vader before that works extremely well in helping creating the “atmospheric” feel to the song. All in all The Beast is a very complete album that should make any Vader fan happy.

BLASPHEMOUS ATOMIC NUCLEAR WAR COMMAND - 100%
Written by ebick12588 on March 2nd, 2004

BLASPHEMY has given the metal world a hallmark to the very evil nature of underground metal with their final studio swan song: GODS OF WAR.

Furious, imposing riffs, although simplistic, demand attention. Bestial, impious vocals evoking imprecations and death against Christendom and her paltry followers blend harmoniously with the drums and bass, provoking a bout of frenzied neck snapping from the listener. Combining the best elements of Black, Death, Thrash, and a trace of Grind, BLASPHEMY pummels the listener with maleficent, necrosadistic metal. 12 years have passed since this release, and it never gets tiresome. You would have to be a fool, poser, or have no clue about underground metal not to rate this album as one of the most influential Black Metal/ War Metal releases of all times. A classic no serious metal head should be without.

As an added bonus, the album contains the cult demo, BLOOD UPON THE ALTAR (1989).

BLASPHEMY are responsible for originating what we now call War Metal, influencing bands like MYSTIFIER, BEHERIT, BESTIAL WARLUST, CONQUEROR, REVENGE, BLACK WITCHERY, GOAT PENIS, MORBOSIDAD, ANGEL CORPSE, ABOMINATOR, OBEISANCE, MANTICORE, and countless others.

http://metal-archives.com/review.php?id=12977

I must say the review by Empyreal is hilariously bad. Not liking something due to bad performance is one thing, but hating it because you're not the target audience and whining 'BAAAAAW TIS NOT SAVATAGE AND IT'S BARELY METVLZ' when it's not even called Savatage or pretending to be anything metal is ridiculous.

It's as if I suddenly started reviewing black metal, which I genuinely don't like, and in the end said 'pffff, Dismember is so much better than this'.

As if one horribly pompous and borderline-metal band wasn't enough

I can say that this is definitely not a metal project, though, and Oliva had finally crossed the line here, creating an album so synth-laden and orchestrated that it was not anywhere near rock music at all

There are good moments, but there are too many interludes and lame, boring songs for my liking

The music itself is watered down prog rock crapola riddled with slow piano interludes, orchestrations, several different types of vocals, Christmas-y jingles, and everything else in between.

from a band that hasn't produced anything of worth in about 15 years now. There comes a point where you just have to give up on a band, and I'd say this is it for Savatage.

"LOOK AT ME, I CAN WRITE EMOTIONAL AND INTELLIGENT MUSIC, AREN'T I GREAT?"

Stick with Edge of Thorns for a better representation of this style.

review is clearly based on other facets

You are so far off the mark it's insane. You're quoting stuff out of context and fitting it to your own need to lambast the review for not agreeing with your own opinion - just admit it.

As much as I can agree that TSO is basically an extension of the later Savatage, it's not Savatage and should not be judged as such.