Shit...this is pure shit.... - 15%
Written by Lord_Zaebos on October 10th, 2003


To say the truth...i don´t have words to begin this review.
From the musical style they call "mechanized black metal supremacy", it doesn´t look very well. But, te question is...is this an evolution??...evolution to where??...to hte black metal future??...so...it´s dangerous the future...
We´ll say that the finnish quartet( in the early band days called
Thornmoon), has evolutionated from a agressive sound in the vein of Dark Funeral to a Koventant or Ramstein sound. Songs with a lot of keyboards and cut riffs, which darkness is the same that whatever David Bowie album.
But, if you think that the future black metal is the nearest from The Kovenant, you´ll think i´m not very objetive. But, i don´t think this is a way to follow, more after The Spirit of Rebellion album.
I´m going to say you the truth: as soon as i leave listening this cd i´ll win in health.
I repeat again, it will be able good sound, but Black Metal has darkness...and Hypnotic doesn´t have any of this...so i think the only objetive to call it "mechanized black metal supremacy", is marketing...
I think i´ll use this cd to put under some glass of fresh beer

Am I the only one who's having problems with this thread? It said Morrigan posted last but when I went on it the last post was Stickyshooz's - it's happened before on this board, where the last page isn't visible unless you've replied in it.

Links, people. Remember to include links to the offending reviews. Or at the very least the band and album name.

This monster starts out with an excerpt from the classic satanic prayer from THE OMEN III, and kicks into a roaring, howling blitzkrieg on the senses.... As the album title suggests, this is hateful, merciless blackened war metal with no holds barred.
The first song, "Cryptic Winds" blasts with misanthropic fury, vocalist Dev Azur seething his intention to see all life obliterated by knives, swords, atomic blasts.

Throughout the course of the album, a grim and bitter portrait is spitefully structured, as dissonant guitars blend with fuzzed out distorted bass and the throbbing wardrums (also handled by Azur) occasionally surface to lead the attack. The music is well produced though and remains the focal point as the lyrics maintain a firm root in the standard hate/war/anti-christian/Demonic theme, Azur's inhuman growls fiercely banishing
any hope of light from the proceedings.
His range is quite good, and at times is apparently assisted by guitarist Howizer and bassist Sturmmorser, whose mingled screams form a sort of
drill into the psyche of the listener every time things seem to get harmonic, as in "Atomic Winter Landscape" and "Dark Paradise" as well as a couple other brief points in the course of it.

The ceremonies close ominously with the haunting instrumental outro "Blood Falls From the Heavens", perhaps a nod to Judas Iscariot, who is mentioned in the booklet's Hails-list. My only complaint is that this
enthralling piece is much too short, at only a minute and a half. In fact the whole slab clocks in at just over 25 minutes....GRRR! }:[
The pulsing, dissonant harmonies throughout remind me of classic Burzum which is great, and keeps me replaying this often, no matter what other dark gems find their way into my collection.
Look for this awesome USBM slab from Breath Of Night/Merciless Records, or look up the website.

I PMed the author of the Cryptic Winds review and asked him for (another, apparently) reformat. If he doesn't comply soon, I'll delete it.

Also nuked the one that Jotun posted.

Frankly, I'm beggining to be irritated by this ridiculous overleniency on review acceptance. The majority of the last few reviews I've nuked as a result of posts in this thread should never been accepted by anyone in a lucid state of mind.

Curse you, Blaze bashers! - 95%
Written by Stormrider2112 on November 8th, 2003

This album is truelly a dark masterpiece. There really is nothing bad about this album, and the best songs are among the best in the entire Maiden catalog. Sign Of The Cross, Lord Of The Flies, The Edge Of Darkness, Fortunes Of War, 2 AM, and The Unbeliever are all excellent songs, and the rest are still great, just not as good as these. Very dark, introspective, and emotional; this album can take a bit to get into, but is worth is. The rebirth of Maiden into the 90s.

Now stop laughing!!! - 45%
Written by Snxke on November 17th, 2002


This home studio rent-o-wreck of bad production, crappy song structures and hilarious techno beats is just an utter piece of disgusting crap.

The only two songs that don't blare like NIN being beaten with a stick in a tin can are the decent Sacrifice, Ashes and Come to Silver. The rest is just a damned bloody joke...Danzig - what in Satans name were you thinking?!?!?!?!?!?!

Two EP's for the price of one! - 80%
Written by Snxke on July 11th, 2003


Thrall - The first (studio) half of this release is pleasent and mid-paced featuring an odd Elvis cover. "It's Coming Down" still make it into the set and pleases fans as well as the cover of "Trouble". "Violet Fire" is passable but a tad forgettable at the same time.

The live side is the best live material Danzig ever put out, the riffery is brilliant and the vocals fierce mixed with a brilliant mix/recording.

For all Danzig fans this little CD is a must.

Well... - 82%
Written by Snxke on January 7th, 2003


I certainly dug this release. Unlike most live albums this sounds EXACTLY like what the fans would have heard. Unlike most metal bands, Danzig has managed to release a truly live capsul without any editing, or other bullshit that turns a live record into nothing more than a crappy studio album with crowd noise added.

The John Christ guitared disc beats the fuck out of disc two simply due to his VASTLY superior skill. That being said, some of the new songs on disc two actually do sound pretty good despite John Christ not playing on them, though only John Christ can play the John Christ songs with any certain power.

Otherwise - I support this disc for being an HONEST live account - not a bullshit, commercial and faked up live record.

Kudos.

Hmmm...interesting...but failed... - 20%
Written by Snxke on December 1st, 2002


I must say that this EP has some really shining moments...if you really like techno music. It's quite idiotic as some bands simply don't have the juice for an album of techno remixes - and Danzig is one of them. Sacrifice on it's own is a wonderful song - but this nuts and bolts collection of bullshit is simply not enough to warrent your spending power.

If you like Danzig enough to even bother checking this out - I'd go the CDR route as this screams of cash grab by an aging man whose career tanked out on the album that this CD single is culled from.

Mortician are THE brutal death gods! - 99%
Written by Gortician on November 2nd, 2003


What can I say?, this is my favourite release from my all time favourite band! I just love every second of this album, from start to finish the listener is subjected to an onslaught of cruel grinding death. There is no sign of remorse at all from these two barbarians that make up Mortician.
The only reason I have not given this 100% is becuase the horror movie samples tend to get a bit tedious after then 10th time you have heard them.
Ok, enough said, Mortician know how to create some brutal shit. Buy them album, drink a keg of beer and murder your neighbourhood with a chainsaw.

Went through the last few; nuked the nukeworthy.

Hell, I ended up deleting 2 extra reviews on 'The X-Factor' page.

I think it describes everything pretty well.

It seems a lot of Intoxicata's reviews are pretty vague in description. I'm going to complain if he can keep coming up with these yet most of my reviews are rejected for "being too minimal with description" or something similar.

The Apocalypse review and Shadow of Death review are 2 others. Apocalypse review was mildly funny, but the lack of description makes it much less funny than the other reviews.

I smell bitterness.

Well the Shadow of Death review is fine. I can see where you may come up with that point with the Glockenspiel, but it isn't anything similar to daudi baldrs. It has more life, Daudi Baldrs is a bit dry in sound.

OPINIONS.

Okay. Still vague though. If my reviews get rejected for vague description I don't know what gives you certain royalties. No offense.

Most of my reviews are only considered vague by you. And you're a dick.

I had a review of The Ethereal's album deleted and I'm not sure why. I don't think it could've been worse or more vague than this.

HOLY HELL!! - 98%
Written by Intoxicata on July 11th, 2004

JESUS!!!

Someone...pass me a diaper...NOW!!
This is brutal eviscerating PERFECTION.3 tracks of funeral doom,played at its most wounded and critical.

I can only say one thing about The Ethereal that can really do justice.You havent heard heavy until youve heard this.This is the slowest and deepest buzzsaw guitars ive heard in memory,and these vocals are guttural echoes spewing from the abyss of a demon infested stomach.

Imagine Mortican with much deeper vocals,playing about 400 times slower,and shredding every aspect of melody to dust.
This is not doom,this is not metal.
This is the end.

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=19426

No offense to Intoxicata of course...

Yeah, it is the only review. Because mine got deleted, and I don't know why!

Grrr...

I really dislike ShadowOfDeath's reviews. They tend to drag on far too long, his diction is clumsy, and he's entirely without wit. Add to all this that there's very little specific description(i expect better from someone who has been studying music theory for 8 years).

Try re submitting?