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Cheeses_Priced
Metalhead

Joined: Thu Jan 15, 2004 6:11 am
Posts: 545
Location: United States
PostPosted: Mon Oct 25, 2004 2:17 pm 
 

OlympicSharpshooter wrote:
Yeah, it is the only review. Because mine got deleted, and I don't know why!

Grrr...


Do you still have it? If so, post it here at the very least.

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OlympicSharpshooter
The Universal Magnetic

Joined: Wed Dec 31, 2003 3:24 pm
Posts: 795
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Mon Oct 25, 2004 3:52 pm 
 

In general I don't keep my reviews after they've been uploaded. Whatever, its dead now...

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Lord_Jotun
Veteran

Joined: Sat Sep 13, 2003 5:02 pm
Posts: 2747
Location: Italy
PostPosted: Mon Oct 25, 2004 5:17 pm 
 

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=20652

SPECIAL OFFER OF THE DAY!! TWO SURVIVED ABORTIONS OF REVIEWS IN A SINGLE PAGE!!

Quote:
Ach, Mein Lieber GOTT! - 0%
Written by corviderrant on March 31st, 2004

I thought I had heard bad before, but this CD redefines that concept. Even the lovely Sandra Schleret sounds obnoxious and out of place here. Siegfried are simply awful, and pretentious German language lyrics based on the ever-popular Richard Wagner's "Nibelung" opera are no way to save the fact that this band sucks hard. The production is thin and weak, and the drumming is not only both unsteady and uninspired, but very obviously triggered and powerless, sounding like cardboard boxes. The riffing is generic, and the vocals...ach, Gott, the vocals are awful. At least when Bruder Cle's highly aggravating "aggressive shout" style is in the fore which is, grievously, most of the time. He sounds like a cartoon character, he is so laughably bad. Sandra comes in here and there to save things with her warbling soprano, but she sounds thin and ineffectual, and it's only the occasional clean male vocal that comes in that is worth listening to, hence the 5 rating. Otherwise, this is the dregs of Euro metal, and avoid, avoid, avoid!!! The sad thing is, this band takes themselves so damn seriously, it only makes me laugh harder at them...



Quote:
Ach mein Gott pt II - 95%
Written by BrainFury on June 20th, 2004

I just can't understand my previous speaker's review! This is one of the best albums I've ever heared. Melodic, disvertified and simply great. The voclas are one of the best things. This is what makes Siegfried special. This makes them differ from the standard. And in addition the lyrics are not based on Richard Wagner's opera but as well as the opera on the old german folk tale of the "Nibelungen"
Ach mein Gott how great this is!



The first one is considerably lacking, the second is a plain outrage.

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BARD_Jean_Pierre
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue Nov 12, 2002 8:49 pm
Posts: 35
Location: United States of America
PostPosted: Mon Oct 25, 2004 6:11 pm 
 

The first one is perfectly fine. Nuke the second.
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GoD
Metal newbie

Joined: Mon Apr 26, 2004 11:07 am
Posts: 64
Location: United Kingdom
PostPosted: Mon Oct 25, 2004 8:50 pm 
 

BARD_Jean_Pierre wrote:
The first one is perfectly fine.


Oh it is not.

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Nightgaunt
I'll Swallow Your Soul

Joined: Sat Mar 06, 2004 9:50 pm
Posts: 2922
PostPosted: Mon Oct 25, 2004 10:04 pm 
 

GoD wrote:
BARD_Jean_Pierre wrote:
The first one is perfectly fine.


Oh it is not.


The first one stays. Second one's gone.
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GoD
Metal newbie

Joined: Mon Apr 26, 2004 11:07 am
Posts: 64
Location: United Kingdom
PostPosted: Tue Oct 26, 2004 7:07 am 
 

To say that it can stay is one thing, but it's hardly perfectly fine, it's pretty borderline.

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requiem99
The Buddhist Killbot

Joined: Wed Jun 30, 2004 4:11 pm
Posts: 118
Location: British Indian Ocean Territory
PostPosted: Tue Oct 26, 2004 9:38 am 
 

This review is totally fucked up. He cuts off one sentence right in the middle and misspells a couple words so bad I don't even know what he was trying to say.

" You see that they are not very rutined, but still a good concert. "

:wtf:

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=11443

Edit: Looks like this guy has had other problems in the past. I notice he has about 30 reviews but only 21 points. Hahah!

Edit2: This guy is horrible, barely even a single readable review. Multiple mistakes in spelling, grammar, and composition, and often he cuts off right in the middle of saying something. Complete dingus, can all his reviews be dursted or do we actually need to go through and note how bad each one is?

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requiem99
The Buddhist Killbot

Joined: Wed Jun 30, 2004 4:11 pm
Posts: 118
Location: British Indian Ocean Territory
PostPosted: Tue Oct 26, 2004 3:27 pm 
 

In addition to being wrong, this is a completely shit review. What causes these asshats to come out of the woodwork anyway?

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=39218#19427

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Lord_Jotun
Veteran

Joined: Sat Sep 13, 2003 5:02 pm
Posts: 2747
Location: Italy
PostPosted: Tue Oct 26, 2004 5:05 pm 
 

I guess you mean this one?

Quote:
This should not be categorized as a METAL album - 70%
Written by peymanmetal on October 26th, 2004


Well, before starting to write this, first I read all other reviews prior to mine.
Quite versatile.

Most of the reviewers praised this album. One, threw it in the garbage can.

In my opinion, first we should realize what we are going to talk about.
This is NOT a METAL album. This may sound crazy to some of you metalheads, but that’s true.
They have done a relatively good job – Nightwish - , but we should realize, and accept, that we are not talking about a METAL album, hence we should criticize it taking this fact into consideration, first.

If I was asked to specify a genre (or a sub-genre) for this album, I might have said, Metallic Orchestrated “X”. You decide what to call “X”, but it is NOT Metal.

The orchestral acts are rather too much in this album, making the Metallic partial evanescent.
Rhythms are changing too much, you easily could lose track of what you were listening to.
Tarja – got pretty famous by now – seems not to be willing to put as much as efforts she used to.

To generalize it, it is a soundtrack! It would be much easier to enjoy this music if accompanied by a properly matched fantasy motion picture.

I still firmly believe that, OCEANBORN remains the best album of this band.

ONCE, is an album to listen to for some short period of time, and to archive it. It won’t stay long in your CD player, nor the melodies will remain on your mind.

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requiem99
The Buddhist Killbot

Joined: Wed Jun 30, 2004 4:11 pm
Posts: 118
Location: British Indian Ocean Territory
PostPosted: Tue Oct 26, 2004 5:08 pm 
 

Lord_Jotun wrote:
I guess you mean this one?

Quote:
This should not be categorized as a METAL album - 70%
Written by peymanmetal on October 26th, 2004


Well, before starting to write this, first I read all other reviews prior to mine.
Quite versatile.

Most of the reviewers praised this album. One, threw it in the garbage can.

In my opinion, first we should realize what we are going to talk about.
This is NOT a METAL album. This may sound crazy to some of you metalheads, but that’s true.
They have done a relatively good job – Nightwish - , but we should realize, and accept, that we are not talking about a METAL album, hence we should criticize it taking this fact into consideration, first.

If I was asked to specify a genre (or a sub-genre) for this album, I might have said, Metallic Orchestrated “X”. You decide what to call “X”, but it is NOT Metal.

The orchestral acts are rather too much in this album, making the Metallic partial evanescent.
Rhythms are changing too much, you easily could lose track of what you were listening to.
Tarja – got pretty famous by now – seems not to be willing to put as much as efforts she used to.

To generalize it, it is a soundtrack! It would be much easier to enjoy this music if accompanied by a properly matched fantasy motion picture.

I still firmly believe that, OCEANBORN remains the best album of this band.

ONCE, is an album to listen to for some short period of time, and to archive it. It won’t stay long in your CD player, nor the melodies will remain on your mind.


Yup, sorry I must have linked to it wrong.

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Nightgaunt
I'll Swallow Your Soul

Joined: Sat Mar 06, 2004 9:50 pm
Posts: 2922
PostPosted: Tue Oct 26, 2004 7:32 pm 
 

I've destroyed the last two.

If all of Metal_God's reviews are indeed so shoddy, perhaps I'll wield the scythe and go through them later. Wouldn't be the first time I've done something of the like (coughcoughBATHYMNcough).
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GoD
Metal newbie

Joined: Mon Apr 26, 2004 11:07 am
Posts: 64
Location: United Kingdom
PostPosted: Tue Oct 26, 2004 9:15 pm 
 

Hah, Bathym was entirely hopeless.

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GoD
Metal newbie

Joined: Mon Apr 26, 2004 11:07 am
Posts: 64
Location: United Kingdom
PostPosted: Thu Oct 28, 2004 9:58 pm 
 

"Volkermord Promo 2004 - 92%
Written by Dehmeren on October 27th, 2004

The album begins with an acoustic instrumental track which is truly hypnotic, it pulls you in from the minute it begins to the second it ends. A very good way to start the album. The next song, A Key to Within, is where the album hits you with powerful, crunching riffs that stay strong throughout the entire track, and CD for that matter. This is also the first track with vocals and they add even more to the overall atmosphere of the whole album. If you're a fan of Black Metal, than Volkermord is a band you should definetly check out"

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=60403#20487

That's so terrible I can't even think of words. And it was accepted YESTERDAY.

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stickyshooZ
TO HAVE AND TO HOLD

Joined: Fri Apr 16, 2004 12:29 am
Posts: 1376
Location: United States
PostPosted: Thu Oct 28, 2004 10:41 pm 
 

Looks like some of the mod squad needs to be taught a lesson...

There is no excuse for that being accepted.
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GoD
Metal newbie

Joined: Mon Apr 26, 2004 11:07 am
Posts: 64
Location: United Kingdom
PostPosted: Thu Oct 28, 2004 11:42 pm 
 

It's possibly the worst one that I've ever had the pain of reporting. I really don't understand how any moderator, even when high on drugs and reading the thing upside down, might think that review has more value than a gangrenous box of cheerios.

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Nightgaunt
I'll Swallow Your Soul

Joined: Sat Mar 06, 2004 9:50 pm
Posts: 2922
PostPosted: Fri Oct 29, 2004 12:07 am 
 

A "gangrenous box of cheerios." I like that. Colorful.

Anyway, it's been deleted. Frankly, I don't understand why that particular effort repulsed you so. It was poor, yes, but there have been much poorer. Why, there've been several examples more vile posted in this very thread.

And, as an aside, don't expect anyone to believe that reporting these little abortions "pains" you.
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GoD
Metal newbie

Joined: Mon Apr 26, 2004 11:07 am
Posts: 64
Location: United Kingdom
PostPosted: Fri Oct 29, 2004 12:26 am 
 

There have been worse ones accepted in the past, but I fail to see how ones as bad as this one continue to get past the filtration system.

'Had the pain of reporting' just seemed an apt expression, I'm more bemused than anything.

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Nightgaunt
I'll Swallow Your Soul

Joined: Sat Mar 06, 2004 9:50 pm
Posts: 2922
PostPosted: Fri Oct 29, 2004 12:29 am 
 

I know. I was intimating that perhaps you secretly enjoy being the one to call these misshapen turds of human expression to light. ;)
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GoD
Metal newbie

Joined: Mon Apr 26, 2004 11:07 am
Posts: 64
Location: United Kingdom
PostPosted: Fri Oct 29, 2004 12:49 am 
 

Ha, shush or I may start intimating that you're secretly the one who accepts them. :p

Seriously though, you're the only moderator I can actually trust 'cause you're the only one who comes in here and regularly deletes all the monstrosities. I'm attempting to use process of elimination (funny story: my friend called his band Process of Elimination because that's the technique he used to get his band name... yes, I know I'm overusing this term tonight, shut up) to track the culprit down, but it doesn't appear to be working thusfar.

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requiem99
The Buddhist Killbot

Joined: Wed Jun 30, 2004 4:11 pm
Posts: 118
Location: British Indian Ocean Territory
PostPosted: Fri Oct 29, 2004 11:13 pm 
 

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=24844

The one at the bottom, obviously. I guess writing more than 5 sentences isn't kvlt.

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Nightgaunt
I'll Swallow Your Soul

Joined: Sat Mar 06, 2004 9:50 pm
Posts: 2922
PostPosted: Fri Oct 29, 2004 11:39 pm 
 

Done.
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Oiras
Metal newbie

Joined: Fri May 28, 2004 3:52 pm
Posts: 67
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sat Oct 30, 2004 5:06 pm 
 

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=5847#3336

Quote:
maybe next time guys? - 15%
Written by Gortician on November 2nd, 2003

I dont about this one, I just really don't know. For starters I can't take the song titles or lyrics very seriously. Second , how can anyone take a Black/Thrash band seriously when they have crap like "the force was used on this recording" (referring to "the force" from star wars, so the band informed me), and " fuckin hellrockin black motherfuckin metal" or something to that extent written in the booklet.
And now for the music, well it sounds to me like "play-by numbers" blatant destruction riff rip offs to me 90% of the time. Nothing new or great to be found here.
For this kind of music I would much rather listen to Bewitched (swe) or Deathwitch even.
Sorry lads, this band does not do anything for me at all, except wish I had spent my last 20$ on something else.


Let's see.... he can't take them seriously, the band rips off Destruction riffs, he would rather listen to something else, and he wish he'd spent his money on something else. About one-fourth of this review is an extremely vague description of the music.

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stickyshooZ
TO HAVE AND TO HOLD

Joined: Fri Apr 16, 2004 12:29 am
Posts: 1376
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sun Oct 31, 2004 4:42 pm 
 

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=176#94

Quote:
Classic album - 96%
Written by Iced_Demon on July 21st, 2002


Night of the Stormrider is highly regarded as Iced Earth's best album, and I believe so too. It shares the top ranking with Burnt Offerings as my favorite, however. It is a concept album about a man who feels betrayed by Christianity and is chosen to bring about Armagedon. In the end, he ends up taking a little journey through Stygian, hehe.

This album features John Greely on lead vocals, the second singer of Iced Earth, and is no longer in the band. He was a great improvement of their first vocalist, Gene Adam. John's vocals range from typical thrash metal to a more melodic singing voice, which isn't often but is very good in my opinion.

All of the songs on this album are killer (there are two interludes which are also good). They are fast-paced and very thrashy with upbeat tempos. It's almost impossible to say one song is better than another, but most feel that the highlight of the album is the last song, "Travel in Stygian." This song kicks some serious ass! It has some killer time changes, and it blows you away halfway through the song with some killer riffing.

This album is a classic. I can't describe it good enough, so just go get it!



http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=176#1433

Quote:
What can I say? - 98%
Written by Stormrider2112 on November 8th, 2003


If I could have a band release an album half as good as this, I could die happy. This album pretty much picks up where Metallica left off after ...And Justice For All. Faster, heavier, and extremely well written and arranged, there is not one single weak spot on the album. Filled with enough wrist-numbinly fast riffs sure to make your chiropractor happy after 45 minutes of pure headbanging and is still very melodic. The highlights (on an album with nothing BUT highlights) are the ferocious Pure Evil and the epic Travel In Stygian...and the opener Angels Holocaust...and everything else!
John Greely does a great job vocal-wise, but there really aren't enough leads from Randy Shawver compared to earlier material.
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The new Sadus sounds like fucking wrestling music.

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Nightgaunt
I'll Swallow Your Soul

Joined: Sat Mar 06, 2004 9:50 pm
Posts: 2922
PostPosted: Sun Oct 31, 2004 9:33 pm 
 

The first review there stays--it is adequate, considering that it was the very first review of the album. Second one is gone.
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stickyshooZ
TO HAVE AND TO HOLD

Joined: Fri Apr 16, 2004 12:29 am
Posts: 1376
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sun Oct 31, 2004 11:38 pm 
 

I was thinking the first was borderline, but I thought I'd post it to see what you would have to say about it.
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I MAKE SHITTY MUSIC
CAN SOMEONE PLEASE SHUT ME UP?!

Joined: Fri Apr 23, 2004 9:18 pm
Posts: 16
Location: United States of America
PostPosted: Mon Nov 01, 2004 9:25 pm 
 

Quote:
Revenant - Prophecies of Deathrash Uberity - 90%
Written by Myrmidonlord666 on November 1st, 2004

Deathrash; in the vein of earlier Kreator/Death type attack. Likened to Malevolent Creation/Morbid Saint. The raspy vocals and precision guitar attack is also similar to what Pestilence was doing in the late 80's. This release may have not broken any barriers but it is solid and semi technical deathrash, that influenced many underground bands.

Eskewing the standard song structure for what seems to be a bit different, and horrifyingly good lyrics vomited forth from a very good vocalist, not exactly a 100/100, but how many releases deserve a fucking 100%? Few if any...


Who the fuck accepted this?
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Nightgaunt
I'll Swallow Your Soul

Joined: Sat Mar 06, 2004 9:50 pm
Posts: 2922
PostPosted: Mon Nov 01, 2004 9:29 pm 
 

Mispelling of "eschewing" is rather entertaining.

Deleted.
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Lord_Jotun
Veteran

Joined: Sat Sep 13, 2003 5:02 pm
Posts: 2747
Location: Italy
PostPosted: Tue Nov 02, 2004 1:27 pm 
 

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=2345

Quote:
Leben ist Krieg, Krieg ist Leben - 100%
Written by Erecshyrinol on June 25th, 2004


Years after the musical peak of black metal, this renowned German horde released an epic of dynamic proportions compressed into an EP with a running time of under half an hour. Thrusting their fists in the face of Judeo-Christian values with minimalistic and militant pieces, these musicians use simple verse-chorus structures combined with marching beats and vocals ranging from a harsh growl to clean singing that influences the listener on a subconscious level, evoking a strong emotional reaction. Fusing two musical genres that embrace the ideas of racial seperation and nationalistic pride, ‘Asgardsrei’, combinating black metal aesthetics with oi-inspired riffing/soloing, stands, much like the topic of concept, as an uncompromising expression of these beliefs in opposition to Semitic morality and remains one of the last monuments of worth in this aged genre.


For a 100% review, I see very little to back it up here.

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OlympicSharpshooter
The Universal Magnetic

Joined: Wed Dec 31, 2003 3:24 pm
Posts: 795
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Tue Nov 02, 2004 5:49 pm 
 

That looks decent to me. His 100% might not be the same as mine or yours.

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Nightgaunt
I'll Swallow Your Soul

Joined: Sat Mar 06, 2004 9:50 pm
Posts: 2922
PostPosted: Tue Nov 02, 2004 8:16 pm 
 

As the sole review, that one is good enough to stay.
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~Guest 2214
Of Runes and Men

Joined: Thu Jul 03, 2003 6:48 pm
Posts: 34
PostPosted: Tue Nov 02, 2004 10:18 pm 
 

UGH

Reviews for Judas Iscariot's Distant in Solitary Night

Write a review for this release.

Pale Eyes of Anguish - 98%
Written by Vulture on October 17th, 2004 [ delete review ]

This album just proves that a great Black Metal act from the USA can create hateful dark music. Most of the songs are medium to fast-paced and have an overall quality in the music itself. The riffs are built among scales and are very moody, which also set the perfect atmosphere with visions of destructive forces and hate. Judas Iscariot clearly knows how to attack the Judeo-Christian god with his creative dark work, the opening track hits you right over the head as it blasts through the speakers. I'd have to say my favorite track has to be 'Where the Winter Beasts Incessant' as it's got that emotional aesthetic of darkness which most Black Metal bands lack these days. I can't stress this enough, this album is a must for Black Metal warriors.



http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=2374

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OlympicSharpshooter
The Universal Magnetic

Joined: Wed Dec 31, 2003 3:24 pm
Posts: 795
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Tue Nov 02, 2004 10:28 pm 
 

Wow... I hate that review too much to comment on it's quality. Insta-bias.

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Nightgaunt
I'll Swallow Your Soul

Joined: Sat Mar 06, 2004 9:50 pm
Posts: 2922
PostPosted: Tue Nov 02, 2004 10:44 pm 
 

I deleted it. But....aren't you able to do it yourself, Xerxes?
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Reaper
Metal newbie

Joined: Wed Mar 31, 2004 3:35 pm
Posts: 113
Location: United States
PostPosted: Wed Nov 03, 2004 1:17 pm 
 

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=34761#12200
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Nightgaunt
I'll Swallow Your Soul

Joined: Sat Mar 06, 2004 9:50 pm
Posts: 2922
PostPosted: Wed Nov 03, 2004 2:15 pm 
 

Deleted the first one. I decided, after some deliberation, to keep the other one. As a review for yet another Maiden best-of, it does its job.
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Reaper
Metal newbie

Joined: Wed Mar 31, 2004 3:35 pm
Posts: 113
Location: United States
PostPosted: Wed Nov 03, 2004 5:04 pm 
 

Yeah, I was referring to the first one, but was too lazy and pissed off at the time, to take the time to cut paste and all that. Thanks.
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DoNotResuscitate
Metal newbie

Joined: Thu Jul 01, 2004 1:06 am
Posts: 204
Location: United States
PostPosted: Fri Nov 05, 2004 11:18 pm 
 

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=806

Okay, this is a horrible fucking review. There is essentially NO DETAIL whatsoever as to the album's sound, song structures, musicianship, etc. It basically says: "This album kicks ass because it's 'darkened death metal'. Buy it now." How did this make it through?

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OlympicSharpshooter
The Universal Magnetic

Joined: Wed Dec 31, 2003 3:24 pm
Posts: 795
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Sat Nov 06, 2004 1:51 am 
 

Poorly formatted, but I think it's pretty decent. There's some reference to the band's sound, and it's also the sole review for the album.

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stickyshooZ
TO HAVE AND TO HOLD

Joined: Fri Apr 16, 2004 12:29 am
Posts: 1376
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sat Nov 06, 2004 2:17 am 
 

Quote:
Written by Gortician on December 9th, 2003


That should answer your question.
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