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Oven Fodder (AKA Why was this review accepted? Provide LINKS, please)
https://forum.metal-archives.com/viewtopic.php?f=4&t=4153
Page 187 of 239

Author:  Goatfangs [ Thu Oct 25, 2012 2:02 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Oven Fodder (Provide LINKS, please)

GuntherTheUndying wrote:
Atrocious_Mutilation wrote:
http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Mournful_Congregation/The_Book_of_Kings/315981/valgalder

I have no idea how this review got accepted. The reviewer is hardly reviewing the music and merely giving it pointless praise for reasons he hasn't explained in the review itself.

Nuked.


Yeah, that review was pretty bad, but so is the one at the bottom by HeySharpshooter that hardly describes the music and seems to just bash the band.

The way he describes it would fit better for a Sunn O))) record, or it'd be like describing While Heaven Wept as death metal because of the occasional tremolo picked riff and blast beat.




http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/A ... astardHead

Actually, that's a good review. Great review in fact. But I was distracted by the "scanners.gif" part. lol

Only posting it here since I'm pretty sure BastardHead looks at this thread. Good thing reviews can be edited, aye?

Author:  Azmodes [ Thu Oct 25, 2012 2:07 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Oven Fodder (Provide LINKS, please)

Goatfangs wrote:
http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Arghoslent/Incorrigible_Bigotry/10090/BastardHead


Actually, that's a good review. Great review in fact. But I was distracted by the "scanners.gif" part. lol

Only posting it here since I'm pretty sure BastardHead looks at this thread. Good thing reviews can be edited, aye?

Still doesn't belong in this thread. And what's wrong with it?

Author:  BastardHead [ Thu Oct 25, 2012 2:09 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Oven Fodder (Provide LINKS, please)

Goatfangs wrote:
Actually, that's a good review. Great review in fact. But I was distracted by the "scanners.gif" part. lol

Only posting it here since I'm pretty sure BastardHead looks at this thread. Good thing reviews can be edited, aye?


That's the second comment on that line I've seen so far, so I suppose I should explain it. Most people should know what the scanners.gif is...

Image

I have a habit of saying that out loud during conversation or just typing it as it is in the review when I'm too lazy to look for the actual picture. It's just kind of my own really obscure way of saying my head just exploded.

Author:  Goatfangs [ Thu Oct 25, 2012 2:14 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Oven Fodder (Provide LINKS, please)

Mmmm, and I was eating hotdogs.

Now they're even more delicious!

Author:  Zodijackyl [ Thu Oct 25, 2012 3:54 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Oven Fodder (Provide LINKS, please)

Does calling this "speed/death metal" qualify as factual inaccuracy?

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/D ... burleson11

Author:  OzzyApu [ Thu Oct 25, 2012 3:57 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Oven Fodder (Provide LINKS, please)

Zodijackyl wrote:
Does calling this "speed/death metal" qualify as factual inaccuracy?

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/D ... burleson11

That's what that guy in that "Scrubs" show called it. :lol:

@25 sec
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kk3HXuqTDWE

Author:  oneyoudontknow [ Sun Oct 28, 2012 6:15 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Oven Fodder (Provide LINKS, please)

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/M ... XHARATHORN

a lot of typos...

his early reviews are generally rather short.

Author:  OzzyApu [ Thu Nov 01, 2012 10:37 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Oven Fodder (Provide LINKS, please)

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/M ... oycopeland

This guy doesn't talk about the music as much as he says what the songs are about. Just sucks.

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/M ... 953/Warpig

This is an Amazon-style track-by-track. Not very good.

Author:  oogboog [ Sun Nov 04, 2012 4:35 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Oven Fodder (Provide LINKS, please)

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/B ... ria/11388/
This is only 10 sentences in length. And he mostly complains about clones and stuff.

Author:  OzzyApu [ Thu Nov 15, 2012 2:04 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Oven Fodder (Provide LINKS, please)

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/W ... aniLeeSixx

Bland and bad. Talks more about how it's a rip-off of The Crimson Idol, which musically it's actually very different. Totally different, in fact, and harping on the lyrics and 1 sentence of flat descriptions isn't enough to describe this (or any other) album.

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/W ... 8883/Snxke

Snxke's review isn't as bad, but it's the typical suck that Snxke's reviews are known for. Same over-broad descriptions and talking about the album's concept in favor of the music.

Author:  Acrobat [ Wed Nov 21, 2012 7:18 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Oven Fodder (Provide LINKS, please)

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/M ... 7139/vorth

Painfully bad, in most respects.

Author:  Zodijackyl [ Wed Nov 21, 2012 12:16 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Oven Fodder (Provide LINKS, please)

Full of misspelled words and disjointed sentences, and it's pretty bare.
http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/I ... eMetalBlog

This one's just awful.
http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/O ... 1956/Ktulu

:???:
http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/B ... 13386/John

This one's a bit lacking in substance.
http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/A ... 014/Shovel

All of this guy's reviews really need line breaks and spaces after commas. I'm not sure if re-formatting them is an option.
http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/A ... oderndeath

Author:  Necroticism174 [ Thu Nov 22, 2012 6:48 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Oven Fodder (Provide LINKS, please)

This review is bad. Lots of misspelled words, typos, weird sentences, and Engrish. He also barely describes the music beyond giving it 100% and saying it's one of the best doom albums he's heard.
http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/D ... 5/Slayerus

Author:  OzzyApu [ Fri Nov 23, 2012 2:11 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Oven Fodder (Provide LINKS, please)

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/S ... TheCthulhu

This guy doesn't really say anything. Talks about the 2-sample promo bs and then discusses, in very broad detail, what Soilwork are allowed to do as a melodic act. A reviewer with no real grasp of how to describe the music. That and poor spacing between paragraphs makes this an ugly read.

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/N ... 54/Skyklad

All of her reviews are bad. They just don't stack up anymore, since they're from the really early era of this site.

Quote:
NILE - Black Seeds Of Vengeance (Relapse ~2000)
"Holy Shit !!!! This album is INCREDIBLE !! This makes "Amongst The Catacombs Of Nephra Ka" look like a collection of love songs (and I LOVE that one !!!). The production is excellent as well as the music itself. The songs are assembled in such a way that when you least expect it they cascade down into a furious bout of low tuned, speedy riffing and fast vomity vocals. The brutality level is a ten out of ten. An interesting aspect of the opening track is that they utilize an instrument called an Argoul, an oboe made out of reeds. That adds a uniqueness along with many other "sounds" the band interlace between the brutal vocals and riffing. I wouldn't even know where to begin as far as the lyrics are concerned. They are astounding and quite unusual for death metal bands. They derive lyrical inspiration from old cuneiform tablets and Egyptian Literature. You've got to pick up this album if you like your Death Metal brutal and the Egyptian theme is a definite plus in my book since the subject matter interests me.
-Cheryl

That's the entire review, with the bold portions being the only relevant, minimal content required to stay on this site. Which means the following is the actual review.
Quote:
The production is excellent as well as the music itself. The songs are assembled in such a way that when you least expect it they cascade down into a furious bout of low tuned, speedy riffing and fast vomity vocals. The brutality...the band interlace between the brutal vocals and riffing...You've got to pick up this album if you like your Death Metal brutal and the Egyptian theme is a definite plus in my book since the subject matter.


It just sucks, and I would recommend you guys see her other reviews because they're all like this.

Author:  Zodijackyl [ Sat Nov 24, 2012 10:30 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Oven Fodder (Provide LINKS, please)

Roughly half of the adjectives in this review are "sick".

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/D ... /Pestilent

Author:  MalignantThrone [ Sat Nov 24, 2012 10:33 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Oven Fodder (Provide LINKS, please)

Holy shit, you're not exaggerating. :lol: Posting this review here for preservation's sake, just in case it gets nuked:
Pestilent wrote:
Disgorge has produced some of the world’s sickest shit to date. This debut release is mega-fucking-pig sick! The album starts with supreme guttural sickness in the track “Deranged Epidemic” thanks to vocal gore-lord Matti Way. And this album not only offers 100% sheer sickness but also fast-paced technical brutality that will keep you banging.

Maybe this sickness will take time to get used for first-comers to the world of Death Metal/DeathGrind but I absolutely suggest you get your ears impaled well to your speakers because this is some real great Death! The drummer really nails it down well, the guitars are real sick in everything; be it fast picking, sick n’ slow power chord riffs and pinching. The vocals, as already stated, are seriously the sickest I have ever heard to date! This is one fucking PIG! Also note the mini bass soloing during the songs. All the songs are as sick as they can but and definitely check out songs like “Cognitive Lust of Mutilation”, “Atonement” and “Cranial Impalement”.

Note that the songs have different sound qualities and if I’m not mistaken it’s because some of them (the last four tracks) were recorded for the 1995 demo tape and the rest were recorded in 96. As I said: Start listening to Disgorge and buy this album! Sound production is good especially on the first 4 tracks. There are no lyrics in the inlay sheet and that is missed as I’d have loved to read what brutality was penned down.

Author:  ~Guest 82538 [ Sat Nov 24, 2012 11:07 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Oven Fodder (Provide LINKS, please)

That is sick! :D

Author:  Necroticism174 [ Sat Nov 24, 2012 11:22 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Oven Fodder (Provide LINKS, please)

Ladies and gentlemen, the average Disgorge fan.

Author:  hakarl [ Sun Nov 25, 2012 5:34 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Oven Fodder (Provide LINKS, please)

Pestilent wrote:
Also note the mini bass soloing

:???:

This?
Image

Author:  MalignantThrone [ Sun Nov 25, 2012 6:31 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Oven Fodder (Provide LINKS, please)

I think it was supposed to be read as "mini-solos on a bass", with "mini" describing "soloing" rather than "bass".

Author:  MalignantThrone [ Sun Nov 25, 2012 11:43 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Oven Fodder (Provide LINKS, please)

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/X ... larNetMeme

Doesn't really talk about the music except for that it's not black metal.

Author:  Opus [ Tue Nov 27, 2012 11:41 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Oven Fodder (Provide LINKS, please)

Spoiler: show
"The writing, the performance, everything is top notch."
"Every instrument comes through crystal clear"
"The bass is present as are the keyboards"
"the solos are exquisitely written and performed"
"The album is masterfully put together."
"Fast tempo songs give way to slower songs and back to a medium-to-fast tempo song."

So; everything is top notch, the instruments are audible, it's well put together and there are different tempos.
Sure sounds like a classic to me. Wait, what does it sound like?

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/E ... KodiakDeth

Author:  Necroticism174 [ Thu Nov 29, 2012 8:18 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Oven Fodder (Provide LINKS, please)

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/E ... 3/Scissors

This misses the point, has a few nonsensical sentences, calls it ''not even music'' and he says he almost vomited when he heard it. Which is kind of funny, but a shit review.

Author:  Zodijackyl [ Thu Nov 29, 2012 8:25 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Oven Fodder (Provide LINKS, please)

Definition of band's name, list of band members' names (and other bands), genre, year of release, production staff. If it weren't for the hasty track-by-track at the end I could've written that from the encyclopedia entry.

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/T ... 69/Procyon

Author:  In [ Sun Dec 02, 2012 6:01 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Oven Fodder (Provide LINKS, please)

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Necromass/Mysteria_Mystica_Zofiriana/12943/SNEITNAM

Filled with engrish, it sounds like it was written by a total fan boy, and he doesn't even try to explain the music. Instead, he just goes on and on about "demonic atmosphere" and "obscure aggressiveness".

Author:  mad_submarine [ Tue Dec 04, 2012 3:39 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Oven Fodder (Provide LINKS, please)

I was currently wondering over this one.. Nothing personal against the author but...

"These songs are all of my favorites for this album. They showed the most insturment addition, best lyrics, and had great guitar parts. I'll say that all the songs seemed dark and heavy. This is what I consider great doom metal, dark, heavy, and unique. and the songs on this album are all, dark, heavy, unique, and some are even desperate. Deeper Down was my favorite, it had the most dark and heavy and desperate sounds, loved the video as well. To Remain Tombless, Thy Raven Wings, and Cannot Be Loved are also good, they were dark and heavy and some even desperate. But the thing that makes My Dying Bride and this album so unique is that, the sound is much different"

Okay, I really see that this is DARK HEAVY AND UNIQUE

Author:  Metantoine [ Tue Dec 04, 2012 3:40 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Oven Fodder (Provide LINKS, please)

Dude, link the review...

Author:  mad_submarine [ Tue Dec 04, 2012 3:42 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Oven Fodder (Provide LINKS, please)

The review itself is not that bad.. maybe just too much repetition and mistakes that makes it hard to read from time to time..

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/M ... tallideath

Author:  OzzyApu [ Thu Dec 06, 2012 3:02 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Oven Fodder (Provide LINKS, please)

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/D ... InAFireBox

This guy is annoying. Talks around everything except maybe twice in the review. Fanboy roleplaying. The two sentences in the middle are the height of his description.

Author:  Subrick [ Thu Dec 06, 2012 10:47 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Oven Fodder (Provide LINKS, please)

Oh early reviews. How I don't like reading them.

Author:  OzzyApu [ Sat Dec 08, 2012 3:50 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Oven Fodder (Provide LINKS, please)

Also: http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/W ... 1346/Kruel

The production for this album really isn't polished, and that isn't a drum machine. Also, the keys and guitars are pretty upfront, with, yes, the leads very loud. "The bass is mostly inaudible" is also quite false. I can hear it perfectly fine amongst everything else. Did we listen to the same album, or is this just an example of Kruel being Kruel?

He's... lying.

Quote:
"Windir" apparently means "warrior" in the Sognamal dialect. But Wiindir the band is the farthest thing from a warrior ... While Arntor is still offensive, the offense is dealt with such a weak force. As a result, the predominant feeling toward this record is contempt, rather than hate.

You've proved your maniless, Kruel. *claps*

Author:  J_Ason [ Sun Dec 09, 2012 6:38 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Oven Fodder (Provide LINKS, please)

This review pretty much amounts to "This album is ultra super mega great. There have been a bunch of rumors and shit about this band. There was a Sigh album a couple of years ago that people thought was great, but it wasn't."

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/V ... 53/Maerund

Zodijackyl wrote:
Roughly half of the adjectives in this review are "sick".

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/D ... /Pestilent


Where have I seen that before..? http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/C ... 98/Noktorn

Author:  hakarl [ Sun Dec 09, 2012 11:00 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Oven Fodder (Provide LINKS, please)

OzzyApu, his complaints on the production do seem unfounded. However, it's the only negative one. The rest are all above 90%, half of them 100%. His complaints on the album's sugariness are justified, anyway. Not oven fodder, not one bit.

Author:  BastardHead [ Sun Dec 09, 2012 11:25 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Oven Fodder (Provide LINKS, please)

The problem with Kruel was that he wasn't a bad writer, but his quality was wildly inconsistent, and he just loved to stir up hyperbolic shit. I mean really, somebody outed him after the Windir review that he'd really liked Arntor as little as a month before his review, and suddenly all of his positive words for it shifted negative because he knew he would get a response. Did his opinion genuinely change? Nobody can really know, but I'll give him the benefit of the doubt. The point is that it was something he knew he'd get attention for. That's exactly the same mindset he had behind the infamous DsO review, and the Electric Wizard and Arghoslent reviews (that last one may have been deleted though, it was really crap and had lifted bizarrely specific (and crazily incorrect) criticisms from a previous Cheeses_Priced review).

Basically Kruel is Tepes_The_Unweeping Jr, but less talented a writer, and much less effective at presenting his crazily unpopular opinions as anything other that jumping up and down and screaming LOOK AT ME!

EDIT: Nope, the Arghoslent one is still there. I could have sworn I remember it getting nuked at one point.

Author:  Empyreal [ Sun Dec 09, 2012 12:01 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Oven Fodder (Provide LINKS, please)

Man, that DSO review is shit. Spends most of the time talking about how the band is really Christian because they talk about anti-Christian sentiments...it's a joke, and totally overblown as well.

Author:  GuntherTheUndying [ Sun Dec 09, 2012 1:40 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Oven Fodder (Provide LINKS, please)

Empyreal wrote:
Man, that DSO review is shit. Spends most of the time talking about how the band is really Christian because they talk about anti-Christian sentiments...it's a joke, and totally overblown as well.

I'd nuke it if I could erase it for being totally stupid and insolent. It's easily the dumbest review on the site. I remember Kruel's diatribes about Dissection's Storm of the Light's Bane....how people that enjoyed it really didn't enjoy it because it wasn't a sentimental black metal album or something. God what a fucking retard.

Author:  OzzyApu [ Sun Dec 09, 2012 5:03 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Oven Fodder (Provide LINKS, please)

Ilwhyan wrote:
OzzyApu, his complaints on the production do seem unfounded. However, it's the only negative one. The rest are all above 90%, half of them 100%. His complaints on the album's sugariness are justified, anyway. Not oven fodder, not one bit.

I don't believe that's enough to keep it considering that half that time it's shit-flinging as well as not giving an accurate description of the production. Hell, he says the drumming is a drum program, which it obviously isn't. The sugariness I'll say is fine, but that's his interpretation of it, which again is fine. However, just that and the fact that it's the only (shitty) negative review shouldn't be the reason for keeping it.

Author:  Subrick [ Sun Dec 09, 2012 9:52 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Oven Fodder (Provide LINKS, please)

GuntherTheUndying wrote:
Empyreal wrote:
Man, that DSO review is shit. Spends most of the time talking about how the band is really Christian because they talk about anti-Christian sentiments...it's a joke, and totally overblown as well.

I'd nuke it if I could erase it for being totally stupid and insolent. It's easily the dumbest review on the site. I remember Kruel's diatribes about Dissection's Storm of the Light's Bane....how people that enjoyed it really didn't enjoy it because it wasn't a sentimental black metal album or something. God what a fucking retard.


Dare I ask what in the world he defined "sentimental black metal" as? That's just as dumb a label as Liturgy's "transcendental black metal".

Author:  Zodijackyl [ Wed Dec 12, 2012 11:53 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Oven Fodder (Provide LINKS, please)

This one is a bit below the site's standards: http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/D ... 9/Egregius

Author:  Subrick [ Thu Dec 13, 2012 4:38 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Oven Fodder (Provide LINKS, please)

Almost every review I've read pre-2006 has been below site standards.

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