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Voice_of_Reason
Metalhead

Joined: Wed Jun 24, 2009 5:38 pm
Posts: 665
PostPosted: Wed Jan 20, 2010 12:23 am 
 

gestapothrash wrote:
Voice_of_Reason wrote:
Those quotes aren't funny. UB has a bunch of funny lines, so why did you pick the exact ones least likely to prove your point??

Oh stop fucking whining. Obviously the only humour you can enjoy is someone falling or getting hit at the back of the head with a shovel. Stormalv found them funny, as did I.

:finger:


You're stretching.
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gestapothrash
Metalhead

Joined: Sat Jan 03, 2009 4:55 am
Posts: 1287
Location: Australia
PostPosted: Wed Jan 20, 2010 12:27 am 
 

gestapothrash wrote:
Oh stop fucking whining
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Voice_of_Reason
Metalhead

Joined: Wed Jun 24, 2009 5:38 pm
Posts: 665
PostPosted: Wed Jan 20, 2010 12:30 am 
 

Who's whining? Me for not thinking something is funny, or you for getting all bent out of shape because someone doesn't think something you think is funny is funny? Seriously, what is your problem?
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gestapothrash
Metalhead

Joined: Sat Jan 03, 2009 4:55 am
Posts: 1287
Location: Australia
PostPosted: Wed Jan 20, 2010 3:31 am 
 

Voice_of_Reason wrote:
Who's whining? Me for not thinking something is funny, or you for getting all bent out of shape because someone doesn't think something you think is funny is funny? Seriously, what is your problem?

OK, I guess I got put in my place. I'll shut the fuck up now. Didn't mean to get angry at you since we have different tastes in humour.

:oh shit:
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UltraBoris wrote:
Imagine getting pounded on the side of the head with a rather average-sized brick approximately four times a second for a half-hour while a vacuum cleaner is turned to maximum volume in the background. That's Marduk for ya.

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Napero
GedankenPanzer

Joined: Sun Jan 02, 2005 4:16 pm
Posts: 8817
Location: Finland
PostPosted: Wed Jan 20, 2010 6:51 am 
 

Now shut up, both of you, of the voice of reason will be muted and the other gentleman will be thrashed by the real Gestapo.

Let's get back on the track, folks.
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Mateilkrist
Metalhead

Joined: Wed Nov 19, 2008 12:12 am
Posts: 1741
Location: United States
PostPosted: Thu Jan 21, 2010 6:07 pm 
 

OSheaman and his apparent mission to destroy In Flames' credibility is pretty funny. When I read his reviews, I picture someone similar to Eric Cartman typing furiously, as if his hyperbole-filled rants need to be shown to the public as soon as possible. The Whoracle review is his best.

OSheaman wrote:
I mean, what the fuck was Jesper thinking when he brough Anders fucking Fridén in to do vocals? He could not have picked a worse person on the face of the planet to do Death vocals, and that includes Madonna, Vanilla Ice and myself. It sounds like what my dog does when she's sick as fuck and constipated, with an intersparced mixture of sounds alluding to a morbidly obese man trying to shit out a humongous, very stubborn turd. On top of it all, if you listen really closely you can hear that he sounds like he is perpetually on the brink of tears. Really. He's about to cry.

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absurder21
Metalhead

Joined: Thu Oct 30, 2008 5:51 pm
Posts: 692
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Mon Mar 01, 2010 5:55 pm 
 

Ultra-Boris's Master of Puppets review had me laughing. His impersonation of the most extreme, uninteligble eltist ever.

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Gutterscream
The Last Old Schooler in Town

Joined: Fri Feb 18, 2005 3:59 pm
Posts: 1083
Location: United States
PostPosted: Thu Mar 04, 2010 12:04 pm 
 

Napero - Master of Puppets:

"I think most of the people who say they dislike MoP were still building sandcastles or learning not to wet their beds in 1986. And honestly, I don't really blame them. I've had a lot of trouble in learning to appreciate the music from the ancient times before I turned 10. Black Sabbath is a prime example of this: I recognize a dozen or so songs, but find none of them really worth my time. Iron Man gives me a rash and makes me restless and irritated, and that drunken, off-key feminine "Öy Yeeh!" in the beginning of that one song is stupid enough make me blush for Ozzy. But I still won't deny the band's influence or value. We would all be listening to elevator muzak pan flute synth versions of The Beatles if it weren't for them. Yup, Alphaville would have claimed a two-inch space on YOUR CD shelf without Black Sabbath."

"Everybody knows it: you, me, the metalhead next door, the 30 years old nicely C-cupped secretary in your dad's office and that pale skinny guy handing you the fries on the drive-through (or, alternatively, receiving them from you). Try to explain something about Artillery's Fear of Tomorrow or Dark Angel's Darkness Descends to those people, and you get the same "get out of here, you untidy weirdo" look you'd give a flaming indie movie buff trying to tell you about the newest art movie with sexual minority cowboys eating quiche; it isn't familiar, so it's bound to be less interesting. And if the same movie freak at the same time makes the mistake of saying that The Last Boyscout is worthless mainstream junk of questionable entertainment value, you'd certainly punch the dweeb, right?"

OlympicSharpshooter (lovingly known as OSS for all you sandcastle-builders) - Hatebeak:

"I rate this a 22, for music, and a 65 for comedy. Still, the packaging (a parody mixing elements of Priest, Carcass, and Hatebreed) is ultra-slick, and the fact that you can say to your buds, 'Man, I was rockin' to some avian death metal...' and then watch their faces when you explain that it's metal with a PARROT singing... that's worth more than words, and more than this music.

Stand-Outs: Who are you kidding?"

Y. Malmsteen's debut:

"Yngwie goes up the scales; Yngwie goes down the scales…"

“I write the songs, I produce the album, I design the cover art, if I weren’t so busy multi-tracking my guitars I’d play all the other instruments, and yeah, that nigh-unreadable gothic text in the liners is mine too!”

“And here is where I pull out my acoustic guitar and then uhh… shred some more.”

“I call this one ‘White Porpoise Operetta in G’… hey, is anybody out there?”

"Personally, I feel that the next album from Malmsteen, Marching Out, is actually a pretty good album, an integral piece of power metal history. However, Marching Out is not the album I’m reviewing right now, and most certainly not the album I’m handing a whopping 17% to. Rising Force is the only metal album I’ve ever fallen asleep listening to… in the middle of the afternoon.

“Thank you people, you’ve been great! Well, at least I have.

*zzzzz*”
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Whackooyzero
Metalhead

Joined: Fri May 30, 2008 10:57 pm
Posts: 826
Location: United States
PostPosted: Tue Mar 09, 2010 12:16 pm 
 

Gutterscream wrote:
[b]Napero -

Y. Malmsteen's debut:

"Yngwie goes up the scales; Yngwie goes down the scales…"

“I write the songs, I produce the album, I design the cover art, if I weren’t so busy multi-tracking my guitars I’d play all the other instruments, and yeah, that nigh-unreadable gothic text in the liners is mine too!”

“And here is where I pull out my acoustic guitar and then uhh… shred some more.”

“I call this one ‘White Porpoise Operetta in G’… hey, is anybody out there?”

"Personally, I feel that the next album from Malmsteen, Marching Out, is actually a pretty good album, an integral piece of power metal history. However, Marching Out is not the album I’m reviewing right now, and most certainly not the album I’m handing a whopping 17% to. Rising Force is the only metal album I’ve ever fallen asleep listening to… in the middle of the afternoon.

“Thank you people, you’ve been great! Well, at least I have.

*zzzzz*”


God that was hilarious! Even though I love that album and Yngwie in general that was hilarious! Though it also explains why people always ignore "Icarus' Dream Suite Op.4" and it's obvious exception to the "all speed all the time" rule, because they apparently fell asleep(lazy reviewers).

Still, that got me a good laugh.
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hells_unicorn
Veteran

Joined: Tue Feb 15, 2005 8:32 pm
Posts: 3053
Location: United States
PostPosted: Tue Mar 09, 2010 1:06 pm 
 

This nice little gem by chaossphere for Suicidal Tendencies' "Suicidal For Life" gets me in stitches every time I read it. So much so that gave in to the urge and borrowed this approach to mocking overuse of profane lyrics on a review I just did for Hellyeah.

chaosphere wrote:
Wow, this fucking album has a lot of fucking swearing on it. Every fucking one of the first fucking six tracks has the word fuck in the fucking title. The first song is just fucking Mike fucking Muir fucking telling us what he fucking thinks about fucking whatever, then the first song starts and he fucking tells us repeatedly that he fucking doesn't give a fuck, doesn't give a shit, ad fucking nauseam. The actual fucking music is typical fucking Suicidal fucking Tendencies fare, except this fucking time Robert fucking Trujillo's fucking funky bass is way too fucking prominent and it fucking sounds like Red fucking Hot Chili Peppers except a fucking bit more metal. The fucking drumming is also quite fucking "groovy", not thrashy at all. Did I mention that this album has so much fucking profanity on it it would make fucking Snoop Doggy Dog blush? I fucking did, didn't I? Fuck.

The only standouts here are "What You Need's A Friend", which has crappy verses but a fairly decent chorus riff, and isn't drowned in constant swearing and stupid funky basslines. "Evil" is something of a ballad and "Suicyco Muthafucka" (FUCK!) thrashes it up a bit. Otherwise, it's just fuck this fuck that fucking fucker motherfucker fucking fuck with stupid funky basslines causing much of the music to become borderline mallcore.

Also, they say fuck a lot. Don't buy this, or even download it. I got the CD for free and I want my 45 minutes back. Fucker.
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lord_ghengis
Still Standing After 38 Beers... hic

Joined: Mon Dec 04, 2006 8:31 pm
Posts: 5950
Location: Australia
PostPosted: Tue Mar 09, 2010 6:23 pm 
 

That one is an absolute classic
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~Guest 145593
Metal newbie

Joined: Mon Mar 10, 2008 12:37 am
Posts: 347
PostPosted: Wed Mar 10, 2010 8:27 pm 
 

Metallica reviews are always a good laugh. I especially enjoyed the Some Kind Of Monster documentary reviews. I know that Metallica is overrated, but it's so damn funny and a great time waster.

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A_Navy_Blue_Vicars
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Mon Mar 15, 2010 12:16 pm
Posts: 1
PostPosted: Mon Mar 15, 2010 12:21 pm 
 

Damn, didn't realise peeps on here actually dug my stuff. I was only here for a short time and I kinda stopped doin reviews and all that after I was banned (FRAMED!!!) by big mean people who hate me for being nice and polite and always well-mannered, yes. But cheers for the complimentaries amigos, I wasn't expecting that at all.
Anyone know what happened to my Gorguts review though?

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Zoldaten_ov_Zatan
Metalhead

Joined: Mon Feb 22, 2010 6:04 pm
Posts: 662
PostPosted: Wed Mar 17, 2010 2:00 am 
 

A_Navy_Blue_Vicars wrote:
I was banned (FRAMED!!!) by big mean people who hate me for being nice and polite and always well-mannered, yes.


I know exactly what you mean.
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crusthead
Metalhead

Joined: Wed Mar 29, 2006 1:22 am
Posts: 410
PostPosted: Mon Apr 05, 2010 4:58 am 
 

I found cinedracusio's review of a Vzaeurvbtre album to be hilarious... especially the comparison of the bands music to a certain Tom and Jerry cartoon. :lol:


Quote:
The music? Very easy to describe it. If you haven't seen that episode from Tom and Jerry, I'll tell you what we are talking about: Tom tries to make playback at a concert by putting a tape into his violin, then Jerry comes along and fucks around with Tom's tape and Tom gets his ass kicked for the horrendous noise that the tape produced. I do not know which member of the band played Tom's role and who played Jerry's role, although I believe them to having played both roles...


http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=43740

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Oblarg
Veteran

Joined: Wed Sep 30, 2009 2:59 pm
Posts: 2974
Location: United States
PostPosted: Wed Apr 07, 2010 9:55 pm 
 

failsafeman's review of Keeper of the Seven Keys Part I is utterly hilarious.

Quote:
The intro is again deceptive, even managing to sound a bit ominous. But surprise! The song isn’t evil at all, reminding me rather of some awful new wave abortion. “We all live in happiness, our life is full of joy, we say the word ‘tomorrow’ without fear! The feeling of togetherness is always at our side, we love our life and we know we will stay!” OH GOD IT’S HORRIBLE! I MUST DIG THE SONG OUT OF MY SKULL WITH A SPOON! It’s like something a suicide cult would use to brainwash its acolytes. “Drink the Kool-Aid, you’ll say the word ‘tomorrow’ without fear!”


I don't despise Helloween quite as much as he does, but I was laughing for five minutes at that one simply because of how true it is.

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Lyrici17
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Sep 16, 2008 3:20 am
Posts: 1445
Location: United States of America
PostPosted: Thu Apr 08, 2010 1:59 am 
 

Oblarg wrote:
failsafeman's review of Keeper of the Seven Keys Part I is utterly hilarious.

Quote:
The intro is again deceptive, even managing to sound a bit ominous. But surprise! The song isn’t evil at all, reminding me rather of some awful new wave abortion. “We all live in happiness, our life is full of joy, we say the word ‘tomorrow’ without fear! The feeling of togetherness is always at our side, we love our life and we know we will stay!” OH GOD IT’S HORRIBLE! I MUST DIG THE SONG OUT OF MY SKULL WITH A SPOON! It’s like something a suicide cult would use to brainwash its acolytes. “Drink the Kool-Aid, you’ll say the word ‘tomorrow’ without fear!”


I don't despise Helloween quite as much as he does, but I was laughing for five minutes at that one simply because of how true it is.



it really is so true...
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bfernandez
Metal newbie

Joined: Fri Mar 05, 2010 10:20 pm
Posts: 203
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sun Apr 18, 2010 4:44 pm 
 

Mother_of_God wrote:
I particularly like BastardHead's review of Five Finger Death Punch's The Way of the Fist. It's funny and entertaining, but also describes the music really well.
Actually, i'm a fan of most of BastardHead's reviews in general.


Bastard Head is my favorite reviewer actually. Heres my favorite of his.

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.ph ... 6508#44563

The review is entitled "Go Go Gadget Blast Beat"
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UltraBoris
Speed Metal Satan

Joined: Thu Aug 22, 2002 10:52 pm
Posts: 116
Location: United States of America
PostPosted: Sat May 08, 2010 4:55 am 
 

draconiondevil wrote:
My personal favourite review is Ultraboris' review for St. Anger.


god DAMN. Please let me die in the obscurity that I deserve.

*goes back to listening to old Kreator demos*
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UltraBoris
Speed Metal Satan

Joined: Thu Aug 22, 2002 10:52 pm
Posts: 116
Location: United States of America
PostPosted: Sat May 08, 2010 4:58 am 
 

absurder21 wrote:
Ultra-Boris's Master of Puppets review had me laughing. His impersonation of the most extreme, uninteligble eltist ever.


here's a hint, fellers... I listened to it last week.

mindeth. blowneth. oh shit, dress up in Renaissance garb and listen only to the first four Sabbath albums!
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zeingard
Metalhead

Joined: Wed Aug 01, 2007 7:49 pm
Posts: 659
PostPosted: Sat May 08, 2010 6:33 am 
 

UltraBoris wrote:
draconiondevil wrote:
My personal favourite review is Ultraboris' review for St. Anger.


god DAMN. Please let me die in the obscurity that I deserve.

*goes back to listening to old Kreator demos*


Photographing more signs might aid in that *hint hint*

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WCannibal
Metal newbie

Joined: Sat Nov 14, 2009 2:20 am
Posts: 110
PostPosted: Sun May 09, 2010 2:08 am 
 

Pretty much all the 50% below Brain Drill reviews are worth a read. And Kruel's review of Deathspell Omega's SMRC.
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Oblarg
Veteran

Joined: Wed Sep 30, 2009 2:59 pm
Posts: 2974
Location: United States
PostPosted: Wed May 26, 2010 8:04 pm 
 

Still laughing really, really hard at this:

Quote:
With this album Fates Warning went from the ethereal mistress of the forest who was distant, magical, arousing, throbbing, hard-on, err, to the pleasant but not altogether wondrous woman at the checkout of your local supermarket. Yes, she’s nice enough – but all too keen to fondle your tangerines, she likes Rush too much, and ultimately missing a certain je ne sais quoi (which is French for John Arch). Yes, I’m well aware that Fates Warning could well have descended into the realms of being merely good rather than being ASTROMICAL FANTASTIC AMAZING TRANSCEND EVERYTHING as they were with Arch. But his presence alone would have been more welcome, even if they did turn into a dullard hard rock band who tried to get a sing-along going to ‘Exodus’, in which Arch would sing “Exodus”, and the filled arena would chant back “ascend the plane exile this medium of bondage far beyond the myriads of crypts and pyramids beyond the harpy vultures guarding their tombs, Arcana awaits”.


Well done, ANationalAcrobat, well done.

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RapeTheDead
Stoned Jesus

Joined: Tue Mar 16, 2010 10:48 pm
Posts: 846
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Sun May 30, 2010 7:28 pm 
 

Holy hell! I had no idea UB was still around, I thought he disappeared a long time ago.

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Visionary
Metalhead

Joined: Sun Jul 24, 2005 3:57 pm
Posts: 1766
Location: United States of America
PostPosted: Sun May 30, 2010 11:42 pm 
 

He likes to pop by from time to time to make sure we haven't forgotten him.
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BastardHead
Worse than Stalin

Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2005 7:53 pm
Posts: 10857
Location: Oswego, Illinois
PostPosted: Sun May 30, 2010 11:45 pm 
 

I do the same thing. Trouble is that my popularity waned while he mastered the art of staying MA famous.
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lord_ghengis
Still Standing After 38 Beers... hic

Joined: Mon Dec 04, 2006 8:31 pm
Posts: 5950
Location: Australia
PostPosted: Mon May 31, 2010 12:12 am 
 

BastardHead wrote:
I do the same thing. Trouble is that my popularity waned while he mastered the art of staying MA famous.


Thats because all you did was make food jokes, he went around dissing a bunch of albums newbies love. You weren't aggressive enough on the mainstream crowd, you were just generally funny, and that crap doesn't cut it 'round here.
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BastardHead
Worse than Stalin

Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2005 7:53 pm
Posts: 10857
Location: Oswego, Illinois
PostPosted: Tue Jun 01, 2010 8:14 pm 
 

Hey now, I dissed Meshuggah and made several references to how overrated I found Darkness Descends (although I never properly reviewed it).

Then again, I do like older Bodom, Ensiferum, Necrophagist, and plenty of newer, relatively famous acts, so newbies like me. I attempted the tried and true deathcore bashing train but Cyptopsy and Winds of Plague are easy targets and Oceano got deleted. Maybe starting writing again could help keep me relevant eh?
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Pfuntner
Metalhead

Joined: Wed Jul 19, 2006 9:33 pm
Posts: 1058
Location: United States of America
PostPosted: Fri Jun 04, 2010 6:44 pm 
 

You're also that one guy who doesn't like Primordial. (this is directed to BastardHead of course)
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lord_ghengis
Still Standing After 38 Beers... hic

Joined: Mon Dec 04, 2006 8:31 pm
Posts: 5950
Location: Australia
PostPosted: Fri Jun 04, 2010 8:22 pm 
 

I dunno, BH's negatives always seemed so lighthearted, I could never get angry at him. He also ripped into NSV which is the only album I've given a 100 to, and I didn't care, I didn't think he was an idiot or anything, almost like who wrote the whole review while winking at me.
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Deadbread
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue Jun 01, 2010 12:46 am
Posts: 121
Location: United Kingdom
PostPosted: Sat Jun 05, 2010 10:24 am 
 

BH's review of ayreon's human equation is funny. Lmao

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BastardHead
Worse than Stalin

Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2005 7:53 pm
Posts: 10857
Location: Oswego, Illinois
PostPosted: Sat Jun 05, 2010 11:06 am 
 

lord_ghengis wrote:
I dunno, BH's negatives always seemed so lighthearted, I could never get angry at him. He also ripped into NSV which is the only album I've given a 100 to, and I didn't care, I didn't think he was an idiot or anything, almost like who wrote the whole review while winking at me.


When'd I do that? Early on when I was first getting into extreme metal I didn't like it due to Lord Worm's bizarre ruh ruh ruh ruh style which I was incredibly unused to, but since then I've actually made several references to how much I love Phobophile.


And jeez, I haven't read my Ayreon review in ages, it's from the time I'm not too horribly proud of. I feel I've come a long way since then. But hey, my early stuff seems to get the most love it seems :lol:.
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lord_ghengis
Still Standing After 38 Beers... hic

Joined: Mon Dec 04, 2006 8:31 pm
Posts: 5950
Location: Australia
PostPosted: Sat Jun 05, 2010 6:30 pm 
 

Ah shit, I was thinking of Bezerko's review, carry on. My Bad.

I still got that vibe from your Primordial one, I actually have an opposite opinion on that album, you call it steak smell wafting through the air, I find it to be an odourless steak. I think it's full of substance, not enough flash.
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BastardHead
Worse than Stalin

Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2005 7:53 pm
Posts: 10857
Location: Oswego, Illinois
PostPosted: Sun Jun 06, 2010 11:09 am 
 

Regarding Primordial, yes, I still feel like To the Nameless Dead is brimming with potential that it never quite reaches, but I think The Gathering Wilderness is phenomenal. It's not that it's abundant in "flash" per se, but more atmosphere. You ever played Fatal Frame? The game's massively unsettling and insanely scary but the gameplay is kind of shitty. That's what TtND reminds me of.
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~Guest 74046
Metalhead

Joined: Fri Jul 07, 2006 7:42 pm
Posts: 962
PostPosted: Mon Jun 07, 2010 8:19 pm 
 

I don't know about anyone else, but Empyreal's reviews of Skylark's albums had me in stitches. Haven't had a good laugh in a while.

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Empyreal
The Final Frontier

Joined: Thu Nov 30, 2006 6:58 pm
Posts: 35140
Location: Where the dead rule the night
PostPosted: Mon Jun 07, 2010 8:23 pm 
 

I didn't have to try very hard on the Fairytales review. It practically wrote itself once I heard the album once.
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Lord_Malice
Metal newbie

Joined: Fri Jun 13, 2008 8:13 am
Posts: 97
Location: Kenya
PostPosted: Fri Jun 11, 2010 9:38 am 
 

failsafeman on Judas Priest's "A Touch Of Evil"

And then what's with "A Touch of Evil"? Sounds like "bad touch", you can't tell me Halford was thinking about some buxom wench while writing those lyrics! I'm sure it was some barely pubescent metalhead with peach fuzz on his balls, or perhaps some big burly biker type. Any subliminal messages that may have actually been in Judas Priest songs were assuredly trying to convince people to bugger ol' Rob's lonely cornhole.

You mesmerize slowly
Till I can't believe my eyes
Ecstasy controls me
What you give just serves me right

Yeah, I'll bet Halford's getting it just right. The whole song sounds like he's wrestling with being in the closet: "I'm so afraid/But I still feed the flame" for example. It seems somehow appropriate the song is saccharine, plodding, and repetitive as FUCK. That fucking drum beat is like getting pounded in the ass over and over and over and over. I've never engaged in homosexual relations (you'll just have to trust me on that one), but somehow after listening to "A Touch of Evil" I know just what it's like.

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veilofblue
Metal newbie

Joined: Wed Mar 31, 2010 11:24 pm
Posts: 193
PostPosted: Sat Jun 12, 2010 1:01 am 
 

crusthead wrote:
I found cinedracusio's review of a Vzaeurvbtre album to be hilarious... especially the comparison of the bands music to a certain Tom and Jerry cartoon. :lol:


Quote:
The music? Very easy to describe it. If you haven't seen that episode from Tom and Jerry, I'll tell you what we are talking about: Tom tries to make playback at a concert by putting a tape into his violin, then Jerry comes along and fucks around with Tom's tape and Tom gets his ass kicked for the horrendous noise that the tape produced. I do not know which member of the band played Tom's role and who played Jerry's role, although I believe them to having played both roles...


http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=43740

Haha yeah, I've also read some cinedracusio's reviews and they are really funny :lol: like for example the one for Overkill's Immortalis
http://www.metal-archives.com/review.ph ... 6580#38591

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HenryKrinkle31
Metalhead

Joined: Wed May 26, 2010 5:49 pm
Posts: 1121
Location: British Indian Ocean Territory
PostPosted: Sat Jun 12, 2010 3:22 pm 
 

This is exactly how I feel about Judas Priest's Nostradamus...

BastardHead wrote:
Let me take a small detour here and tell y'all a story. Back when I was about 12, I had some friends, two brothers of Vietnamese descent. The older was my age, and the younger was about 9 or 10. One day, the young one came running up to me, laughing his ass off. He explains that he just caught his brother in his room making his dick look longer by molding Play-Doh on the end of it. In essence, he was making a penis extension out of clay. I shared that with you because I believe that there is no better way to describe all of the goddamn pointless interlude tracks. They do nothing except make the album longer. They're pointless, they're impractical, they don't function, they're ugly, they are nothing but penises made out of Play-Doh. This is one of the exact reasons I disliked Nightfall in Middle-Earth, and yet Judas Priest apparently decided to emulate the album in both physical and spiritual form.


I also feel the same way about NIME.

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OzzyApu
Metal freak

Joined: Fri Oct 13, 2006 12:11 am
Posts: 10821
Location: Seattle
PostPosted: Sat Jun 12, 2010 3:25 pm 
 

I heard 2 tracks from NIME long ago that made me hate Blind Guardian, and they sounded nothing like the Blind Guardian I heard on the debut album, Somewhere Far Beyond, or Imaginations... which kicked ass.

They must have been interludes, and they sucked.
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Yesterday was the birthday of school pal and I met the chick of my sigh (I've talked about here before, the she-wolf I use to be inlove with)... Maaan she was using a mini-skirt too damn insane... Dude you could saw her entire soul every time she sit...

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