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Mallcore Kid

Joined: Sun May 23, 2004 7:43 am
Posts: 9
Location: United Kingdom
PostPosted: Thu Jun 17, 2010 1:27 pm 

So I wrote this review of Re-Animated Dead Flesh and it got rejected. As far as I could tell it met the criteria, as have the numerous other reviews I've submitted in the past.

Someone tell me what's wrong with it so i can get it accepted - at the moment it seems no different to all the other reviews on this LP, apart from the fact that's it's THE DIRECT OPPOSITE and I love the album.

It seems if I joined in with the haters and slagged the album off I'd be forgiven for rambling on about how talented/talentless the band are.


Those who miss the point with Mortician...are...errrr... missing the point! Does all death metal have to be some kind of showing off of incredible musical prowess?? Does every band have to push the limits of technicality and clever songwriting? Does every death metal fan feel the same as every other death metal fan??

The answer, obviously, is no. There's enough oxygen for everyone and enough distortion, horror and brutality on this album for everyone too. Mortician might not be ticking all the boxes that certain listeners need ticking but they certainly tick plenty of ones I need!

Re-animated Dead Flesh is another great album in the Mortician tradition (Yeah, I know). So what if they basically make albums that sound the same each time? How many reviews will you read about other bands complaining that they've changed and "only the 1st 2 albums are any good"? You've got no worries with Mortician! ALL their albums are amazing and this one is no better or worse than the last. Why should people progress and change? WHY?

The samples are always a treat - they add real context to the record as a whole and this album contains some greats, the American Werewolf in London one especially. The guitars downtuned sound is one of the MAIN POINTS of Mortician!! Complaining about it is like saying you're not into Jagger's voice and so don't like the Stones! Mortician's guitar sound is both a statement and a necessity in creating the atmosphere of ultra-brutality that makes up 99% of what the band are all about - likewise the vocals, Will's growls are insanely gruff and low and shouldn't be any other way.

Those leveling accusations of stagnation and primitivism at this, or any other Mortician LP, aren't saying anything new. Play Iron Maiden to your Grandmother and she'll tell you it's just noise. Play Hellhammer to many aging Maiden fans and they'll tell you it's talentless crap that any idiot could play. Play Mortician to a (insert name of technical death metal band here) fan and he might well tell you not to bother with it but sometimes you don't crave a five course meal of nouveau French cuisine - you need a fat greasy cheeseburger, cooked rare and jammed with pickles.

Those who can't appreciate a good cheeseburger are missing out and those who bash this great album for being the equivalent can go and stroke their chins about the subtle flavours of their Fillet Mignons. I doubt Mortician are surprised by their reviews and I doubt they could give a shit, they're making the music they want to make and there's plenty of us that want to hear it. Get Re-animated Dead Flesh for a bangin' slab of BRUTAL PRIMITIVE DEATH METAL.

Caravan Beyond Redemption

Joined: Wed Mar 07, 2007 12:56 pm
Posts: 3789
Location: Romania
PostPosted: Thu Jun 17, 2010 2:09 pm 

Well, you seem to be dealing a lot more with trying to convince people to like Mortician and making metaphors on the subject than with actually describing and reviewing the album's content. Instead of just trying to convince people to like the band with arguments of open-mindedness and generally being an apologist, try to convince people as to WHY Mortician are that great.

Also, this type of inquiry belongs in the following thread, assuming you want feedback on that review and tips on how to write acceptable ones: http://www.metal-archives.com/board/vie ... sc&start=0
The band career analysis thread.


Joined: Thu Nov 06, 2008 5:21 pm
Posts: 628
PostPosted: Sat Jun 19, 2010 4:15 pm 

I'm gonna be honest with you, Varcolac...it just isn't very well written. It lacks direction, you use with some rather poor phrasing that doesn't really make complete sense, and you endlessly praise Mortician without telling us what it is about them that's so lovely. You mentioned downtuned guitars, but, well, EVERY death metal band has downtuned guitars.

Metal newbie

Joined: Tue Nov 29, 2005 9:47 am
Posts: 343
Location: United Kingdom
PostPosted: Fri Jul 09, 2010 5:25 am 

Because you spend more time focusing on the fact that people shouldn't hate Mortician than actually reviewing the music.

Also posting stuff like '????' and lots of '....' is bad grammar.
Back online, August 2011


Joined: Mon Jun 21, 2010 6:11 pm
Posts: 1314
PostPosted: Fri Jul 09, 2010 9:07 am 

1. You didn't not describe the music enough and explain what's so awesome about it in a clear fashion.

2. Too many rhetorical questions in your review. It's bad writing. The extra punctuation is a huge no-no also.

Digital Dictator

Joined: Wed Sep 01, 2004 8:45 am
Posts: 11850
Location: In the Arena
PostPosted: Fri Jul 09, 2010 2:10 pm 

MaDTransilvanian wrote:
Instead of just trying to convince people to like the band with arguments of open-mindedness and generally being an apologist, try to convince people as to WHY Mortician are that great.

While most of the criticisms here are more or less valid, the bit I quoted is the most pertinent. Reviews that take an argumentative stance against perceived public persecution are frowned upon here, and the lack of real musical description means there isn't much else to your review. The writing itself isn't awful, you just need to drop the tone of righteous indignation and imagine you're describing the album to someone who has never heard anything by Mortician before. You shouldn't be writing an article defending Mortician, you should be writing a musical review. So you should, y'know, review the damn music.
MorbidBlood wrote:
So the winner is Destruction and Infernal Overkill is the motherfucking skullcrushing poserkilling satan-worshiping 666 FUCK YOU greatest german thrash record.

Mallcore Kid

Joined: Wed Aug 04, 2010 7:09 am
Posts: 3
Location: Brazil
PostPosted: Wed Aug 04, 2010 7:17 am 

In this band, I just want to say their horror sampling terrific

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