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Liquid_Braino
Metalhead

Joined: Wed Jun 17, 2009 10:25 am
Posts: 596
PostPosted: Wed Nov 21, 2018 7:40 am 
 

I meant Jamaican metal

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~Guest 135946
MUH BOTH SIDES!

Joined: Fri Dec 14, 2007 1:34 pm
Posts: 741
PostPosted: Wed Nov 21, 2018 9:09 am 
 

Liquid_Braino wrote:
I meant Jamaican metal


I know I went off before but can you give me some Jamaican metal links? That sounds like a cool fusion, even as a gimmick.

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Sweetie
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Dec 16, 2014 1:19 am
Posts: 1091
Location: United States
PostPosted: Wed Nov 21, 2018 9:10 am 
 

autothrall's Deicide review is spot on!
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~Guest 135946
MUH BOTH SIDES!

Joined: Fri Dec 14, 2007 1:34 pm
Posts: 741
PostPosted: Wed Nov 21, 2018 9:29 am 
 

SweetLeaf95 wrote:
autothrall's Deicide review is spot on!


Dude, I downloaded that album a couple of months ago and still haven't listened to it. Autothrall is definitely going to get me binging over the weekend. Wish I could review full-time but that would leave me procrastinating even more with far too little to say :brick:

Edit: For a dude who should have killed himself at 33 Benton still kicks ass in his 50s. This album is nasty so far and easily outclasses 'Till Death Do Us Part' (where I stopped with Deicide for a good long while). Funny enough, he's a year younger than my mom and she wouldn't touch this kind of music with a ten foot pole no matter how many times I've tried to verbally lubricate the intensity of the music to make it sink in. She's more a flower child, brought up by her older sisters and her heaviest sound is in Chicago's "25 or 6 to 4" before running herself through with a Steely Dan before nesting in Jerry Garcia's beard. I grew up on grunge and went full metal by high school :headbang: This is some good Toweley shit. It's got 'Tegridy.

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Sweetie
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Dec 16, 2014 1:19 am
Posts: 1091
Location: United States
PostPosted: Wed Nov 21, 2018 10:31 am 
 

Yeah I was pleasantly surprised, because Stench was the only one I cared about since Serpents Of The Light, until this album came out.
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CHAIRTHROWER
Methed-burnt rogue babelfish

Joined: Sun Dec 20, 2015 7:10 pm
Posts: 1028
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Wed Nov 21, 2018 3:39 pm 
 

Jay Metal: aka "Jezebel" metal! (how's that for coy, jocose ribaldry?)…

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CHAIRTHROWER
Methed-burnt rogue babelfish

Joined: Sun Dec 20, 2015 7:10 pm
Posts: 1028
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Wed Nov 21, 2018 3:56 pm 
 

Eef! I'm a little crestfallen Mr.Metalpants' somewhat disenchanted view of Castle's latest, Deal Thy Fate.
In light of his mild enthusiasm (re.: the catchy, fandanglin' guitar riffs), isn't 58% a tad on the low side? (+/- 70% would have felt more like it).
Also, shouldn't he have mentioned Red Phantom as one of the highlights, at the bottom, considering his positive take on it?

He's entitled to his wro-, I mean "wry" (!) opinion, I suppose...that % mishap though, it burns!

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CHAIRTHROWER
Methed-burnt rogue babelfish

Joined: Sun Dec 20, 2015 7:10 pm
Posts: 1028
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Wed Nov 21, 2018 4:18 pm 
 

Aarf! Ditto for Tanuki's (admittedly, right) review for Riot's looke-warm Restless Creed/Breed...although this is more of a case of making me look like an ill-advised yegg, so I went ahead and dutifully lowered its rating from a bloated 76% to a genially called for 66%...

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CHAIRTHROWER
Methed-burnt rogue babelfish

Joined: Sun Dec 20, 2015 7:10 pm
Posts: 1028
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Wed Nov 21, 2018 4:26 pm 
 

Ok, ok, you're all probably tired of my ravings by now but I'll end (for today!) on a chill, positive note:

It's so nice to see swell, underground Canadian fare such as Phantom (and its Of Gods and Men...full-length debut) so propituously covered, so a tip of my jam-crusted hat ("Chapeau!", as they simply exclaim in France, when plesantly bowled over like this) to sweetleaph_95...Chairs!

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Sweetie
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Dec 16, 2014 1:19 am
Posts: 1091
Location: United States
PostPosted: Fri Nov 23, 2018 10:15 am 
 

CHAIRTHROWER wrote:
to sweetleaph_95...Chairs!


Again, you're a trip, haha. Thank you!
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CHAIRTHROWER
Methed-burnt rogue babelfish

Joined: Sun Dec 20, 2015 7:10 pm
Posts: 1028
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Fri Nov 23, 2018 11:03 pm 
 

I'd simply love to take a trip, er, make that a FLIGHT!

Awesome stuff man, I almost feel wrong gleaning A Leap... off the tube - screw it, I need to order it...it's a real game-changer, no-how.

I'm going to sip it like a fine, silky wine, lest I wantonly chug the entire goblet like I did with "Ride On" (I must have listened to this track at full volume, be it privately with headphones, or exhibition-wise cranked off a bluetoof speaker...(People need to know!)...

Great review - you nailed it through and through - I could've have said it better (or shorter!)...

(Did you appreciate the small "en-cas" (i.e. snack) I served in prior yesterday...? Haha...

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CHAIRTHROWER
Methed-burnt rogue babelfish

Joined: Sun Dec 20, 2015 7:10 pm
Posts: 1028
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Fri Nov 23, 2018 11:04 pm 
 

...at least 50 times by now and counting!

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CHAIRTHROWER
Methed-burnt rogue babelfish

Joined: Sun Dec 20, 2015 7:10 pm
Posts: 1028
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Fri Nov 23, 2018 11:11 pm 
 

)...(Sorry - I hadn't closed the Ps; shameful!);

oh, Twisted_Psychology: Always pleasure to spot such an indelible triptych of views i.e. the new Pale D(ivine), Witchthroat Serpent (Sorciere geule, couleuvre, osti! haha...), and, last but not least, that mildly vexing new Striker - I wholeheartedly agree with the 78% - I'm halfway through a write-up for it myself (should be ready hopefully tomorrow) and pondered scores from 74 to 82, but I think, yeah, 78% makes sense...good show!

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~Guest 135946
MUH BOTH SIDES!

Joined: Fri Dec 14, 2007 1:34 pm
Posts: 741
PostPosted: Fri Nov 23, 2018 11:26 pm 
 

Bastardhead did such an incredible job on that Astronoid review from May. I've only just found that band but he took that review, personalized it so well, and explained Harikiri for the Sky in one sentence far better than I could do with all the writing that I did. He really does kill it as a reviewer, Bastardhead is brilliant to say the least and every review seems so effortless. How much do you edit? Do you sit on reviews for a little while so you can find the right wording or feel to bring out what you want to say? I'm a wicked overthinker for how little use what I say is, is only why I'm asking.

Also, CHAIRTHROWER, don't worry about posting too much. The more you do it now the less shit I'll feel about posting too much drunk when I inevitably do it on a headbanging bender, but you should know there's an edit function right next to the quote that you could use and it doesn't show how many times you've edited until another post shows up on the forum so you're free to edit like a motherfucker before someone else posts. Even so it only shows how many edits you've made since the first edit after a reply so you'd be alright editing one post a bunch rather than feeling cunty about throwing so many posts on a forum. At least then you can say your piece without feeling too shit about overly indulging on the forum. Though personally writing "edit: 2" throught "edit: 50" on one post may be ridiculous looking on their own. Either way, your enthusiasm is really a cathartic thing to see so often compared to a lot of dismay, argument, or jadedness that is all too common from folk that feel they've seen it all.

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CHAIRTHROWER
Methed-burnt rogue babelfish

Joined: Sun Dec 20, 2015 7:10 pm
Posts: 1028
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Sat Nov 24, 2018 11:11 pm 
 

Good to hear from you, 5 Clous, and thank you so much for the tip -- I'm pretty slow to adapt, be it technology or modern language usage, you know?

I really enjoyed BastardHead's SatanHallow review, as he wrote it right after mine (same, perfunctory and apportion-ate score 0f 94% as well, which was kewl) and pretty much made me look at the band and album in a whole new light -- whereas I found M.M. sounded all weird and warbly, albeit in a chill and auspicious, bad-ass sense, BH outlined how she constantly sounds like she's about to lose it...that quip only made me enjoy the release that much more, so am naturally dejected a sophomore appears unlikely at this time, or near future, anyhow.

(He also indirectly turned me on to Sumerlands as well as Eternal Champion, for which I'm forev-, I mean, "eternally" grateful! (Sumerlands proper and Armor of Ire have been mildewing in my review drafts box for far too long and I've three-quarters of a mind to finally air them out!
Soon, my minions, soon...!) Haha...

I just corrected/edited the crap out of my VOJD_Behind the Frame (single) write and am working over a "sardonically yours" review for The Outer Ocean f-l debut, which should see the dark of night by tomorrow I hope. Plus a few others - I can never keep up, and I often need breaks lest I overheat and break down, like a motor/engine! I'm really working on making them off-the-wall yet still cogent, readable and relevant...(as well as assiduous and erudite, can't forget those now...).

But thank you for the cathartic bit...it's great to hear such feedback, and to know it's not ALL for naught!

Wizened-As-All-Get-In Metal Regards!

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CHAIRTHROWER
Methed-burnt rogue babelfish

Joined: Sun Dec 20, 2015 7:10 pm
Posts: 1028
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Sat Nov 24, 2018 11:13 pm 
 

Oh, and I wanted to mention - this "singles" trip, wacky as it is, has to stop. Full-lengths are the real meal deal here, amarite?...(see, slow to adapt...)

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Sweetie
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Dec 16, 2014 1:19 am
Posts: 1091
Location: United States
PostPosted: Mon Nov 26, 2018 9:01 am 
 

I actually didn't even know BH reviewed Astronoid, but I also agree; spot on. I actually met those dudes and got a signed CD at a show in my city one time in early 2017. Really cool people!
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aperson663
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Fri Jun 22, 2018 4:52 pm
Posts: 5
Location: United States
PostPosted: Mon Nov 26, 2018 8:19 pm 
 

Tanuki wrote:
Very flattered to see a shoutout in the newest review of Angel Sword; much appreciated aperson663, glad I could help introduce you to a killer band :thumbsup: Quality write-up for a first-timer too, keep up the good work dude.


Cool I didn't know if you would read my review, thanks for the kind words. You also introduced me to Speedtrap (rip for now), Demon Bitch, Lunar Shadow and early Tokyo Blade, so I owe you a lot of thanks for the amazing music. I kind of used your reviews as a guide since I agree with a lot of your Saxon reviews, and you honestly haven't steered me wrong yet. Really enjoy your reviews and writing style, can't wait to read more of your Riot reviews. I'm from NYC and work not too far from where Mark and Guy lived, yet I somehow never really gave them a chance (I think I once listened to Fire Down Under at 2 am and I didn't remember anything). Your review on Fire Down Under convinced me to listen to the album again and I really am kicking myself for not listening to the album sooner, at a decent hour. Also I decided to not wait for your review and listen to Thundersteel, which, since I just listened to it last week and I'm still in shock so I'm going to be pretty hyperbolic, is the greatest thing I ever listened to. So thanks for continuing to produce quality reviews which not only entertain me but also gave and continue to give me some amazing music.

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BastardHead
Worse than Stalin

Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2005 7:53 pm
Posts: 10857
Location: Oswego, Illinois
PostPosted: Tue Nov 27, 2018 12:29 am 
 

Y'all flatter me too much! I know it's been over a decade that I've been "a name" on this forum but I still can't help but get all "aw shucks" when I read stuff like that. Thanks everybody.

Five_Nails wrote:
How much do you edit? Do you sit on reviews for a little while so you can find the right wording or feel to bring out what you want to say? I'm a wicked overthinker for how little use what I say is, is only why I'm asking.


None and no. I've said before that I'm a really bad person to get tips/advice from because I really don't do any of the basic things that I feel like writers should probably do. I outline nothing, I do minimal thinking beforehand, I only give reviews one quick proofread before posting, everything is a first draft and 98% of the time written in one sitting. I've had less time to review over the past few years so when inspiration does strike I just knock it out quickly and carry on.
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gasmask_colostomy
Metalhead

Joined: Thu May 27, 2010 5:38 am
Posts: 1640
Location: China
PostPosted: Tue Nov 27, 2018 8:59 am 
 

BastardHead wrote:
I just knock it out quickly and carry on.

That puts a new perspective on things :eek:

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Sweetie
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Dec 16, 2014 1:19 am
Posts: 1091
Location: United States
PostPosted: Tue Nov 27, 2018 11:43 am 
 

BastardHead wrote:
None and no. I've said before that I'm a really bad person to get tips/advice from because I really don't do any of the basic things that I feel like writers should probably do. I outline nothing, I do minimal thinking beforehand, I only give reviews one quick proofread before posting, everything is a first draft and 98% of the time written in one sitting. I've had less time to review over the past few years so when inspiration does strike I just knock it out quickly and carry on.


I do this too, although my reviews aren't usually nearly as long as yours typically are so it's easier for me. Also if it's submitted through IMV, someone else proofreads it to catch the grammatical errors, so that's one less step I have to take as well. Even before that though, I pretty much took the same exact route as you. Either way, I don't think it has hurt either of our quality in writing.
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"It's not the kill, it's the thrill of the chase" - Deep Purple

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Vadara
Metalhead

Joined: Wed Mar 16, 2016 11:14 pm
Posts: 484
Location: United States
PostPosted: Tue Nov 27, 2018 2:15 pm 
 

Someone tell me why the guy that did the recent Neckbeard Deathcamp thinks that Metal has never been political? Like, damn, how ignorant do you have to be? Metal isn't quite as ideological as Punk, but fuck me. Has this dude never heard of RABM or NSBM (I have a feeling he doesn't consider the latter "political" if he does).

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Twisted_Psychology
Metal freak

Joined: Sat May 16, 2009 8:22 pm
Posts: 6260
Location: United States
PostPosted: Tue Nov 27, 2018 4:22 pm 
 

I don't necessarily like Neckbeard Deathcamp on a musical level but there's some serious salt in that review.
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Empyreal
The Final Frontier

Joined: Thu Nov 30, 2006 6:58 pm
Posts: 35177
Location: Where the dead rule the night
PostPosted: Tue Nov 27, 2018 4:39 pm 
 

I'd love to know what that guy thinks is good satire... haven't listened to that Neckbeard Deathcamp project but the song titles and lyrics seem to be pretty standard fare for anyone who's read The Onion or any similar site. Don't see what about it would be so bad for satire unless you just disagree with the subject being repugnant.
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flexodus
Metalhead

Joined: Sun May 10, 2009 4:16 am
Posts: 2369
PostPosted: Tue Nov 27, 2018 4:47 pm 
 

lol I know that dude from when I wrote for Stuff You Will Hate. He was an awkward, edgy person with issues with women then and now he is for sure a full on alt-right bro who worships Ben Shapiro, Milo Y, excuses everything that Trump does, etc. Last I heard he is a real deal proud boy. He sucks.
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Varth wrote:
I am getting pissed thinking about all the dumbass fake punk my sister made me listen to
LawrenceStillman wrote:
my sister does nothing but forcing me to listen to Gothenburg/melodic metalcore albums all day while refusing to listen to regular death metal

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EzraBlumenfeld
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Oct 24, 2017 12:50 pm
Posts: 450
Location: United States
PostPosted: Tue Nov 27, 2018 4:54 pm 
 

His profile says he's 52 years old.
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flexodus
Metalhead

Joined: Sun May 10, 2009 4:16 am
Posts: 2369
PostPosted: Tue Nov 27, 2018 5:17 pm 
 

it also says he loves Drake, sound like any 52 year olds you know? His username is his actual name and he’s submitted his own bands so you can see what he looks like if you care.
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Varth wrote:
I am getting pissed thinking about all the dumbass fake punk my sister made me listen to
LawrenceStillman wrote:
my sister does nothing but forcing me to listen to Gothenburg/melodic metalcore albums all day while refusing to listen to regular death metal

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Derigin
The Mountain Man

Joined: Sun Jan 01, 2006 6:25 am
Posts: 5998
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Tue Nov 27, 2018 5:38 pm 
 

He's not actually 52. He put his birthdate down as 06-06-66.

E D G Y
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CHAIRTHROWER
Methed-burnt rogue babelfish

Joined: Sun Dec 20, 2015 7:10 pm
Posts: 1028
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Tue Nov 27, 2018 7:04 pm 
 

From now on, whenever I tie someone in written reviews, I'll sit on that number for a maximum of three (3) days (but likely longer, knowing myself) in anticipation of a valid review request from said person about to be passed in the tally...(chivalrous, no?)...so that at least they get a bit of an enjoyable consolation (prize)...

Oh, gasmasker, do you ever wonder what artists think when we coyly slap down affably wry humdingers such as the following?!?:

"For the most part, though, Guillotine is composed of higher-order speed metal (no faceless right-handed monotony here) and the squealing voice of L. Steeler, which bears more than a passing resemblance to Schmier of Destruction when it suddenly rises to the heights of a pre-pubescent girl."...

Just wonderin;, you know...

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OzzyApu
Metal freak

Joined: Fri Oct 13, 2006 12:11 am
Posts: 10821
Location: Seattle
PostPosted: Tue Nov 27, 2018 9:37 pm 
 

https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... tur/373962
Quote:
Cunt Kristna

Do people really expect others to laugh at this stuff?
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gasmask_colostomy
Metalhead

Joined: Thu May 27, 2010 5:38 am
Posts: 1640
Location: China
PostPosted: Tue Nov 27, 2018 9:44 pm 
 

CHAIRTHROWER wrote:
Oh, gasmasker, do you ever wonder what artists think when we coyly slap down affably wry humdingers such as the following?!?:

"For the most part, though, Guillotine is composed of higher-order speed metal (no faceless right-handed monotony here) and the squealing voice of L. Steeler, which bears more than a passing resemblance to Schmier of Destruction when it suddenly rises to the heights of a pre-pubescent girl."...

Just wonderin;, you know...

Ah man, I can't help it, you know? To me, Schmier's vocals have always reminded me of a big man with a scared little girl trapped inside: suddenly she can't take it anymore and lets out a little shriek. It's sincere, so I hope the musicians take it that way if they ever read my 'views.

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CHAIRTHROWER
Methed-burnt rogue babelfish

Joined: Sun Dec 20, 2015 7:10 pm
Posts: 1028
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Tue Nov 27, 2018 10:07 pm 
 

But are they as zany-ly hip as Jon Oliva's shrill "aaah!"s on and around Le Roi de la Montagne?

(sorry for being coy, I'm busy taking cues from the master...(where's he been of late anyhow?! Where's the "'scream", already?!)
dig it!:

https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... ream/29772

there's so many choice little nuggets in there, it's like a sitcom review almost...

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NoSoup4you22
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue Feb 19, 2008 6:36 pm
Posts: 46
Location: United States
PostPosted: Wed Nov 28, 2018 12:16 am 
 

This Mr Matt guy (Symphony X review) reminds me so much of myself in high school, it's uncanny. His musical tastes (Dream Evil/Yngwie,) the compulsion to prove he knows music stuff with theory tangents, the frustration with normies, even the same name...

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CHAIRTHROWER
Methed-burnt rogue babelfish

Joined: Sun Dec 20, 2015 7:10 pm
Posts: 1028
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Wed Nov 28, 2018 12:26 am 
 

Welcome home, son. Welcome home...

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~Guest 135946
MUH BOTH SIDES!

Joined: Fri Dec 14, 2007 1:34 pm
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PostPosted: Wed Nov 28, 2018 3:11 am 
 

NoSoup4you22 wrote:
This Mr Matt guy (Symphony X review) reminds me so much of myself in high school, it's uncanny. His musical tastes (Dream Evil/Yngwie,) the compulsion to prove he knows music stuff with theory tangents, the frustration with normies, even the same name...


Derigin wrote:
He's not actually 52. He put his birthdate down as 06-06-66.

E D G Y


Man, it's nice to see that zeal though. I know I was a douche in high school who thought too highly of himself with too little to say while using the word 'true' too much on this site about bands. Now I can say very little in a lot of words and still be the same douche, but at least a bit more educated.

Also, speaking of douching out. I have to say the bits I've seen denigrating Metallica's "Disposable Heroes", though valid when it comes to the simple structuring of the song, it still makes me think more of WWI than anything. That initial push of the song with explosions of snare and bass around the frontline, while the back is covered with treble barbed wire, pushes the retreating protagonist back to the front and makes me think of someone fleeing the incessant artillery while his commander below the battlements urges him forth at the point of a gun. Fact of the matter is that the treble barbed wire comes so close to the artillery later on that the lines become drawn at point blank range and that makes it even more brilliant because, to me, it shows that the song is saying that these lines are going hand-to-hand, bayonet-to-bayonet and the blasting percussive artillery will destroy all while another tear of thousands of treble linemen will go flowing in again to try to remake a line on either side just to do it all again. It's WWI to me, not WWII and I think this song works when in that context. Still, the same could be said for Sevastapol or Gettysburg in this song.

I'm not about to do a 'Master of Puppets' review on this forum, but I'd at least like to say that it is a valid track that isn't nearly as boring as a few folks say it is, especially compared to the slower "Leper Messiah" that comes afterwards.

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DecemberSoul
Mirties Metafora

Joined: Thu Jan 21, 2010 9:46 am
Posts: 1399
Location: Switzerland
PostPosted: Wed Nov 28, 2018 5:37 am 
 

OzzyApu wrote:
https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Burzum/Hvis_lyset_tar_oss/413048/Demiror_Moritur/373962
Quote:
Cunt Kristna

Do people really expect others to laugh at this stuff?


Yup, that was lame, much like some of the points of criticism in his review, e.g. "Also, what is it about the vocals not popping up after five minutes pass from the first of the four tracks?"
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raspberrysoda
Metalhead

Joined: Sat Aug 02, 2014 4:51 pm
Posts: 1076
PostPosted: Wed Nov 28, 2018 6:07 am 
 

The guy who wrote the Burzum diss review has a 100% review for DMDS titled "RIP Euronymous." Just saying

also lol at "there’s no real consistency to the melodies at hand, and the risk of them ever getting stuck in your head is minimal"
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DecemberSoul
Mirties Metafora

Joined: Thu Jan 21, 2010 9:46 am
Posts: 1399
Location: Switzerland
PostPosted: Wed Nov 28, 2018 8:13 am 
 

I want to extend my POV on that Burzum review a bit here. It's deeply flawed in its implication that this pioneering work of the more atmospheric, depressive side of the genre doesn't belong there, which, in conjunction with his rant on amateurs having limited knowledge thereof yet claiming expertise on the subject renders his arguments highly debatable incompetent. Black metal isn't just the DMDS school of sound. It's painful feeling compelled to bring this up, but the review really asks for such a basic level of counter statement.
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Sweetie
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Dec 16, 2014 1:19 am
Posts: 1091
Location: United States
PostPosted: Wed Nov 28, 2018 9:53 am 
 

Five_Nails wrote:
I'm not about to do a 'Master of Puppets' review on this forum, but I'd at least like to say that it is a valid track that isn't nearly as boring as a few folks say it is, especially compared to the slower "Leper Messiah" that comes afterwards.


Disposable Heroes and Leper Messiah are both excellent.
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Twisted_Psychology
Metal freak

Joined: Sat May 16, 2009 8:22 pm
Posts: 6260
Location: United States
PostPosted: Wed Nov 28, 2018 10:04 am 
 

So if you rate an influential album as a 0%, does all the stuff it influenced also get a 0% or does it fall into some kind of less than zero purgatory?

What I'm trying to say is that Burzum review is salty as fuck.
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