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TheBurningOfSodom
Metalhead

Joined: Sat Jun 27, 2015 9:28 am
Posts: 598
Location: Italy
PostPosted: Tue Apr 20, 2021 4:12 am 
 

Forever Underground wrote:
sometimes I have these translation errors when I write in my native language and translate it to English.

Being Italian, we share a similar sentence structure, so I guessed it right when I thought this was how you operate. I assume you're probably beginning, but my advice would be: try to distance yourself from this modus operandi as soon as possible. I don't remember your latest Altars of Madness review being very problematic, but some of your earliest ones sure were. Direct translation of entire sentences from a different language (not similar like ours :-P) often ends up in pretty awkward reading.

Of course, it's something that's gonna take time and more experience.
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Subrick
Metal Strongman

Joined: Sun Sep 12, 2010 7:27 pm
Posts: 10167
Location: United States
PostPosted: Tue Apr 20, 2021 2:56 pm 
 

Thing I just noticed: Every Darkthrone full length from 2008 on up has a 77% average score.
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Earthcubed wrote:
I'm just perpetually annoyed by Sean William Scott and he's never been in a movie where I wasn't rooting for his head to sever by strange means.

Blacksoul Seraphim Gothic Doom Metal
Autumn's Ashes Melodic Death/Doom Metal

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EzraBlumenfeld
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Oct 24, 2017 12:50 pm
Posts: 450
Location: United States
PostPosted: Tue Apr 20, 2021 3:23 pm 
 

Subrick wrote:
Thing I just noticed: Every Darkthrone full length from 2008 on up has a 77% average score.


DoomMetalAlchemist on December 26, 2020 wrote:
Speaking on the importance (or lack thereof) of scores, I just noticed DarkThrone's last five studio albums all have an overall score of 77% at the moment.


true_death on November 4, 2020 wrote:
Anyone else noticed that the last 5 Darkthrone albums all have an average of 77%? I thought it was kinda funny.
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Kveldulfr wrote:
Like butter comes from milk, butter will only be a reminder of its milky origins, whereas milk reigns supreme as a vital element.


BEGRAVEMENT - 'Horrific Illusions Beckon' out now!

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orphy
Metalhead

Joined: Thu May 06, 2004 11:24 pm
Posts: 414
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Wed Apr 21, 2021 10:07 am 
 

Morton Salt wrote:
EzraBlumenfeld wrote:
I forgot that droneriot existed, and that new Napalm Death review makes me wish it had stayed that way.


Definitely some questionable material in that review. You can't say Napalm Death has no riffs and then speak highly of the goregrind Carcass records. It just doesn't make sense.

Harmony Corruption is full of riffs too, like, how is that even possible to think that album sucks? I can understand if someone doesn't think it's as good as a different era of the band, but you have to be kidding yourself if you think it deserves a 0%.
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gasmask_colostomy
Metalhead

Joined: Thu May 27, 2010 5:38 am
Posts: 1640
Location: China
PostPosted: Wed Apr 21, 2021 10:39 am 
 

Any thoughts on when the next review challenge might be? Because my current schedule leaves me about 20 minutes over a week to take part.
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Derigin
The Mountain Man

Joined: Sun Jan 01, 2006 6:25 am
Posts: 5998
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Wed Apr 21, 2021 10:14 pm 
 

Aiming for some time in June.
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gasmask_colostomy
Metalhead

Joined: Thu May 27, 2010 5:38 am
Posts: 1640
Location: China
PostPosted: Wed Apr 21, 2021 11:13 pm 
 

Sweet, I might have a little more time then.
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Napero wrote:
the dismal stench of The Chicken Bone Gallows on the Plains of Mediocre Desolation was unleashed upon the unsuspecting world by the unholy rusty lawnmower molester horde that is Satan's Prenuptial Charcuterie from the endless field of tombs that is Butthill, Alabama

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caspian
Old Man Yells at Car Park

Joined: Tue Dec 07, 2004 11:29 pm
Posts: 6414
Location: Australia
PostPosted: Sat Apr 24, 2021 2:23 am 
 

Ezra, I had to chuckle at this:

Quote:
All in all, Legacy of the Dark Lands is a more-or-less unforgivable release. It represents a near-total departure from anything Blind Guardian has released in the past, and is completely disappointing to any hopeful metalheads who had been pleased by the groups other more recent work. I am glad I decided not to pre-order a physical copy of this album, as I'm sure if I had I would now be extremely angry at myself for wasting my money on such a useless and silly purchase.


And then giving it 56%!

Coward
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EzraBlumenfeld
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Oct 24, 2017 12:50 pm
Posts: 450
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sat Apr 24, 2021 10:45 am 
 

I don't think I disliked Hansi's performance as much as you did. If I recall correctly, that was the only tolerable part of the album. I haven't revisited Legacy of the Dark Lands since I wrote that review, though.
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Kveldulfr wrote:
Like butter comes from milk, butter will only be a reminder of its milky origins, whereas milk reigns supreme as a vital element.


BEGRAVEMENT - 'Horrific Illusions Beckon' out now!

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Empyreal
The Final Frontier

Joined: Thu Nov 30, 2006 6:58 pm
Posts: 35183
Location: Where the dead rule the night
PostPosted: Sat Apr 24, 2021 5:09 pm 
 

It's pretty crazy how much I still like Red Mirror but just had absolutely no interest in checking that shit out.
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~Guest 1129985
Metal newbie

Joined: Sun Feb 28, 2021 5:52 pm
Posts: 264
PostPosted: Sat Apr 24, 2021 6:00 pm 
 

I couldn't get very far into that symphonic album before shutting it off due to boredom. To be honest, I have no issues whatsoever with the much-loathed interludes on Nightfall in Middle Earth, but I absolutely have no desire to listen to a 75 minute album of them.

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Absinthe1979
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Wed Sep 25, 2019 3:06 am
Posts: 26
PostPosted: Mon Apr 26, 2021 5:13 am 
 

Death Mantra wrote:
I couldn't get very far into that symphonic album before shutting it off due to boredom. To be honest, I have no issues whatsoever with the much-loathed interludes on Nightfall in Middle Earth, but I absolutely have no desire to listen to a 75 minute album of them.


You've essentially nailed it. I can see why Blind Guardian got all excited about doing this project, but it actually strips away what makes them great: riffs and energy. The symphonic album is really hard to listen to and it's one of those 'life's too short' type of scenarios.

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hakarl
Metel fraek

Joined: Sat Sep 29, 2007 1:41 pm
Posts: 8817
Location: Finland
PostPosted: Mon Apr 26, 2021 9:06 am 
 

Empyreal wrote:
It's pretty crazy how much I still like Red Mirror but just had absolutely no interest in checking that shit out.

My thoughts exactly.
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lord_ghengis
Still Standing After 38 Beers... hic

Joined: Mon Dec 04, 2006 8:31 pm
Posts: 5953
Location: Australia
PostPosted: Mon Apr 26, 2021 8:24 pm 
 

Hansi is pretty awful on the symphony one, he's so focused on telling his narrative he forgot to write hooks.
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Blackmore Forever
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Sun Jul 24, 2016 1:43 am
Posts: 24
PostPosted: Tue Apr 27, 2021 1:06 pm 
 

How much is the average time for the decision on a review, approved or rejected?

I have one submitted some 10 days ago, that's been edited by a moderator the day after ("...probably just to fix a formatting issue", even though I've noticed any changes by a fast look at it) and then nothing more happened it seems.

No notifications of any kind, and the review is still "pending", so not rejected I guess.

It's of the last Labyrinth (ITA) album.

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orphy
Metalhead

Joined: Thu May 06, 2004 11:24 pm
Posts: 414
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Tue Apr 27, 2021 7:09 pm 
 

Some reviews can take up to a few weeks. It really depends on how many reviews are in the queue, how busy the moderators are, etc.
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CHAIRTHROWER
Methed-burnt rogue babelfish

Joined: Sun Dec 20, 2015 7:10 pm
Posts: 1028
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Wed Apr 28, 2021 11:33 am 
 

Correct! And same applies to band submits, although it's always nice and pleasant to have one approved the same day, or within hours of submission, I mean, submitting. (*hint, *hint)

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Metantoine
Slave to Santa

Joined: Sat Jun 21, 2008 5:00 pm
Posts: 12030
Location: Montréal
PostPosted: Wed Apr 28, 2021 1:09 pm 
 

Where's my Penis Metal review I asked for, CHAIR?!

It should honestly be a rite of passage for all reviewers on the site.
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Slater922
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Apr 14, 2020 6:24 pm
Posts: 2344
PostPosted: Wed Apr 28, 2021 5:51 pm 
 

Metantoine wrote:
Where's my Penis Metal review I asked for, CHAIR?!.

Don't worry, Metantoine, Chair's got you hooked.
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Sweetie
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Dec 16, 2014 1:19 am
Posts: 1091
Location: United States
PostPosted: Thu Apr 29, 2021 9:10 am 
 

https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... fin/338356

Pretty awful review. There is VERY minimal description beyond "this isn't REALLY black metal" and I'm somewhat wondering how it got accepted. Moreover, he also says it's "nicely family-friendly without being extreme in any way." Like... it may be a bit more tame for what black metal is, but that's flat out wrong. Did this guy even listen to it for more than like 3 minutes?
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CHAIRTHROWER
Methed-burnt rogue babelfish

Joined: Sun Dec 20, 2015 7:10 pm
Posts: 1028
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Thu Apr 29, 2021 10:22 am 
 

Yep, it's a doozy, that Wode review. Who ever heard of family-friendly black metal?! That's like renting a stripper for a kid's birthday party...

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Sweetie
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Dec 16, 2014 1:19 am
Posts: 1091
Location: United States
PostPosted: Thu Apr 29, 2021 12:24 pm 
 

Penis Metal now averages 69%. Nice.
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CHAIRTHROWER
Methed-burnt rogue babelfish

Joined: Sun Dec 20, 2015 7:10 pm
Posts: 1028
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Thu Apr 29, 2021 1:01 pm 
 

That was the plan!

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Slater922
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Apr 14, 2020 6:24 pm
Posts: 2344
PostPosted: Thu Apr 29, 2021 4:23 pm 
 

https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... ce/1138244

Okay, I'm just gonna say it: Roots is one of the most overhated metal albums of all time.

Yes, it's not perfect, and it hurts that it came from the same guys who made "Beneath the Remains", but focusing strictly on the music, it's more of a 70-75%. I don't even bother reading Roots reviews that are below 25%.
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hakarl
Metel fraek

Joined: Sat Sep 29, 2007 1:41 pm
Posts: 8817
Location: Finland
PostPosted: Fri Apr 30, 2021 3:33 am 
 

Roots is weird, because it goes deeper than just being a classic "shitty nu-metal sellout album", as it were. There certainly is that, and that explains the majority of the hate for the album. Sepultura was absolutely legendary, and now they are suddenly in the same ballpark as KoRn. But there's more to it, because even as a nu-metal album, it's considered to be pretty rubbish by a lot of people.

My first and only time listening to that album was when I was still fully into bands like Slipknot and the like, but I couldn't wait for that album to end. It was an absolute slog. If I listened to it now, I might be able to relate to it differently. But it didn't even work for me as a nu-metal sell-out album. :lol:
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Cosmic_Equilibrium
Metalhead

Joined: Fri Jul 18, 2014 2:03 pm
Posts: 842
PostPosted: Fri Apr 30, 2021 6:02 am 
 

I gave Roots 20%, and that percentage was pretty much for Roots Bloody Roots, Spit, and the tribal influences. Everything else on that record is abysmal. I'm not one of those people who things Sepultura start and end with BTR - I think Chaos AD is a great album regardless of the stylistic shift on it - but Roots is dreadful and one of the most alarming artistic declines of any band I can think of. Sepultura had really carved out their own sound and style, and then Max lost his mind and decided to copy Jon Davis and sound like Korn. The band went from leaders to followers in the metal scene overnight with that album, and even as a nu-metal record it's not a good listen. A big problem is that it lacks any kind of catharsis or release in the way the previous albums did - a lot of the songs sit there and wallow in their own angst. Not rewarding at all.

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CHAIRTHROWER
Methed-burnt rogue babelfish

Joined: Sun Dec 20, 2015 7:10 pm
Posts: 1028
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Fri Apr 30, 2021 9:37 am 
 

Wow! I just noticed robotiq (love the free fall, "ue"-less "q", btw) is already closing in on 300 reviews, and he still has a month to go to make it a year since he joined the site. 200 in a year is already lofty enough as a goal...Also, another mark of a good reviewer is somebody who can write about a genre (hardcore crust) the reader may not be down with, yet who's still read fluently and educationally (with minute Worldly observations - California is indeed a blight of consumerism. Used to love all the crazy junk food and cereal flavours down there, whence visiting Gram and Gramps [RIP] yo!)

PS Brits everywhere need to check this out: https://www.metal-archives.com/bands/Ci ... 3540486795

(Is that like a Glasgow Smile or something?)

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TheBurningOfSodom
Metalhead

Joined: Sat Jun 27, 2015 9:28 am
Posts: 598
Location: Italy
PostPosted: Fri Apr 30, 2021 10:36 am 
 

I admittedly started on the wrong foot with robotiq when he 'dissed' my beloved Devastation in his reviews for the death metal band with the same name. But I'm glad I gave him several chances after that, he turned out to be a very consistently enjoyable writer. Other than picking a lot of obscure bands, he also varies genres quite a lot, and never gives the impression that he isn't informed about the corresponding scenes - in this regard, his recent Assück review is a perfect balance of knowledge, ear for comparisons and conciseness.

Here's to another 300 next year then! :bow:

CHAIRTHROWER wrote:
Sweetie wrote:
Penis Metal now averages 69%. Nice.

That was the plan!

We've got the real MVP lol. Hope every new reviewer from now on awards it the exact same score :-P
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A very promising new reviewer wrote:
Big, juicy, veiny, throbbing hard riffs. Big heavy knuckle dragging, cock swaddling compositions for those in fear of soap/bathing. Listen at your own risk. No signs of intelligent life.

It's the dawn of descending...

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CHAIRTHROWER
Methed-burnt rogue babelfish

Joined: Sun Dec 20, 2015 7:10 pm
Posts: 1028
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Fri Apr 30, 2021 10:41 am 
 

Before I forget, PorcupineofDoom and gas(mask) will wanna check this out:

https://www.metal-archives.com/albums/K ... hts/938773

Typical, they'd have a track called: "Don't Give A Sh*t"...

Nice to see Herzel getting its just due.

Maybe, if we're lucky, the guys will employ a "biniou", next time around.

(https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Binio%C3%B9_kozh)

*What happened to Highway Corsair's Dernier Rampart review?! Why is it gone, now? (Hopefully, he's making it even more praise-worthy...)

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HighwayCorsair
Knows a guy

Joined: Thu Feb 19, 2015 11:40 pm
Posts: 700
Location: United States
PostPosted: Fri Apr 30, 2021 2:28 pm 
 

was told by my editor not to cross-post my reviews, so i pulled all the stuff that was written for Invisible Oranges, sorry
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Metantoine
Slave to Santa

Joined: Sat Jun 21, 2008 5:00 pm
Posts: 12030
Location: Montréal
PostPosted: Fri Apr 30, 2021 2:39 pm 
 

Sad!

Thanks for the penis review, CHAIR! I'd like to see more of 'em.
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Red_Death
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Jan 21, 2014 12:51 pm
Posts: 1035
Location: Croatia
PostPosted: Fri Apr 30, 2021 3:00 pm 
 

Sweetie wrote:
https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Wode/Burn_in_Many_Mirrors/921788/Rautafin/338356

Pretty awful review. There is VERY minimal description beyond "this isn't REALLY black metal" and I'm somewhat wondering how it got accepted. Moreover, he also says it's "nicely family-friendly without being extreme in any way." Like... it may be a bit more tame for what black metal is, but that's flat out wrong. Did this guy even listen to it for more than like 3 minutes?

review wrote:
Round those corners too much and the square ends up being a square. It becomes something different.

:|
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CHAIRTHROWER
Methed-burnt rogue babelfish

Joined: Sun Dec 20, 2015 7:10 pm
Posts: 1028
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Fri Apr 30, 2021 5:42 pm 
 

Metantoine, er, more penises or reviews, say?

HC, yo! We're talking about Herzel, here! Couldn't your bossman make a concession, this one time?

BTW, Because prune juice trumps Metamusil (and that I'm a little tipsy i.e. boozy right now), my (sub) sub-handle shall be Lord Prunedig!

Also, mod gods can also change my location to "Victoria, BC" (Satanic sacrificial murder capitol of Canada, apparently...)

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Slater922
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Apr 14, 2020 6:24 pm
Posts: 2344
PostPosted: Sat May 01, 2021 6:56 pm 
 

https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... hy/1190348

S&M is a rather odd Metallica album. While I don't like mixing in classical instruments with songs like Enter Sandman, it is rather unique and creative, and some of the more slower songs do work with it.
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gasmask_colostomy
Metalhead

Joined: Thu May 27, 2010 5:38 am
Posts: 1640
Location: China
PostPosted: Sun May 02, 2021 12:21 am 
 

CHAIRTHROWER wrote:
Before I forget, PorcupineofDoom and gas(mask) will wanna check this out:

https://www.metal-archives.com/albums/K ... hts/938773

Typical, they'd have a track called: "Don't Give A Sh*t"...

Nice to see Herzel getting its just due.

What, no more epic song lengths? Do they really not give a shit? Listen sometime when I'm not busy as knobs. But actually I've just selected Herzel for magazine review, so I'll be digging that "bon"-ness soon!

Metantoine wrote:
Thanks for the penis review, CHAIR! I'd like to see more of 'em.

Won't forget this request for the p.
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Napero wrote:
the dismal stench of The Chicken Bone Gallows on the Plains of Mediocre Desolation was unleashed upon the unsuspecting world by the unholy rusty lawnmower molester horde that is Satan's Prenuptial Charcuterie from the endless field of tombs that is Butthill, Alabama

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oneyoudontknow
Cum insantientibus furere necesse est.

Joined: Sun May 21, 2006 6:25 pm
Posts: 5343
Location: Germany
PostPosted: Sun May 02, 2021 5:43 am 
 

https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/C%C3%BAt_L%E1%BB%99n/X%C3%A0o_ke/763555/criscool623/348751

Feels like
a) a missed opportunity because he/she is apparently not familiar with the music videos of the band and did not bring them into the discussion,
b) is somehow unconvincing in terms of why this album deserves 60 points, even though this release should receive a hammering.

I am familiar with the releases of the band as well and I am not sure what to make of the band. Just look at the music videos. Is there something seriousness in these or are these a representation of over the top insanity?
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CHAIRTHROWER
Methed-burnt rogue babelfish

Joined: Sun Dec 20, 2015 7:10 pm
Posts: 1028
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Sun May 02, 2021 10:48 am 
 

Haha...check out the cover to their EP!:

https://www.metal-archives.com/albums/C ... Bia/913519

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TheBurningOfSodom
Metalhead

Joined: Sat Jun 27, 2015 9:28 am
Posts: 598
Location: Italy
PostPosted: Sun May 02, 2021 11:47 am 
 

The opening line was:

criscool623 wrote:
In order for you not to think that I already got bored of writing reviews

I, uh, kinda hoped for that.

On an unrelated note, I just discovered from the latest Aspid review that their drummer passed away about a month ago. R.I.P. man, you sure did take part to something legendary.
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A very promising new reviewer wrote:
Big, juicy, veiny, throbbing hard riffs. Big heavy knuckle dragging, cock swaddling compositions for those in fear of soap/bathing. Listen at your own risk. No signs of intelligent life.

It's the dawn of descending...

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robotniq
Metal newbie

Joined: Wed Oct 03, 2007 6:08 am
Posts: 373
Location: United Kingdom
PostPosted: Sun May 02, 2021 3:12 pm 
 

CHAIRTHROWER wrote:
Wow! I just noticed robotiq (love the free fall, "ue"-less "q", btw) is already closing in on 300 reviews, and he still has a month to go to make it a year since he joined the site.


Thanks guys. Always good to know that I'm not writing into a vacuum :-)
I am going to be well short of 300 per calendar year though. I just looked, and I've done 218 since this date last year.

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CHAIRTHROWER
Methed-burnt rogue babelfish

Joined: Sun Dec 20, 2015 7:10 pm
Posts: 1028
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Sun May 02, 2021 4:51 pm 
 

It's still a heck of a run...Btw, in your first Fall Silent review, you mentioned how Reno (where my aunt lives in a trailer house with dogs, cats, chicken, rooster and long-departed ornery goose - slayed by alpha of said dogs because of its bad attitude) is best known for gambling and J. Cash referring sonnets...but you forgot to include "Circus, Circus"!

*Late night caveat*

Erm, sweetie, I noticed you ratcheted your Flight_A Summersault Through Ether down from a duly warranted, officially agreed (and shook) upon perfect score to somewhat quizzical and alarming 98%. Would you care to elaborate (and possibly re-collaborate)?

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