He couldn't give it a straight 0%. That would be ridiculous.

He could, but he didn't. He probably read eyedee's post and did that just to disappoint us all.

Solitude is seriously my least favourite song on there, I hate the vocals, the melodrama, the progression, it's a song that always really annoyed me. Dunno, I seem to be in a minority there, but there's genuinely nothing I like about it.

Nah, Solitude's great, but everyone who isn't afraid of himself knows that Black Stone Wielder's the best song on that album

Black Stone Wielder is indeed the best. But Solitude still sucks ass.

Thanks for mentioning me in your review, N_S.

Now enjoy your scribe status!

A Sorcerer's Pledge (easily) and Demon's Gate. That's where it's at.

Firstly, no problem man.

Second, HELL YEAH! Thanks!


EDIT: Uhh, I tried to fix an old review's various grammar issues and it still has to go through moderation. How does this scribe thing work again? Or is this some sort of cruel joke?

From what I understand, scribes are reviewers who put out consistently good enough work that their reviews are automatically approved. As for your edit not going through moderation..... I guess they're busy? Seriously, man, you worry too much.

I know dude, I can't help it. I only ask because Dia said that I had been scribed, so I thought the edit would go through anyway. When it didn't, I thought that a) scribing doesn't apply to edits or b) I haven't been scribed yet or c) I won't be at all and Dia was being sarcastic but I missed it.

Sorry I was told it was changed, give it a little bit. I can't execute this one on my own.

No worries dude, thanks for letting me know!

Done.

Currently writing a review for Gloryhammer's debut. It's amazing how these guys haven't gotten slagged all the way back to their fairy kingdom by people here. BALANCE MUST BE RESTORED TO THE METALSPHERE.

Probably for the same reason as Amaranthe - people just avoided it.

Well, their debut has a ten percenter and the followup has a couple scathing reviews, so they aren't totally flak-less. I agree, though; terrible band, whether it's all a big joke or not.

Thanks to Alhadis for also giving a 0% to Sloth, so I'm not looking like a loner there.

Gloryhammer... I might just go and review their debut. Thanks for reminding me of that horrific joke of an album!

No problem, Napalm. Those guys definitely need more bashing. Such a nothing band.

Napalm_Satan, how old are you? Read some of your reviews and I'm curious.

17. What about my reviews made you curious of my age?

I just figured you were very young and wanted a confirmation.

Yeah, you could tell I was young from the writing huh?

From the opinions expressed actually.

I don't know if this has ever happened to you guys - I go to review something (Within Temptation's The Q-Music Sessions covers album). I had heard it three times, and predictably I fucking hated it. And I go to listen to Mother Earth whilst I am reviewing (to spur on the hate)... and for some reason I did a 180 on my previous opinion with that album - it is actually quite good. Normally I hate this band, and now I go listen to this and The Heart of Everything and they both sound excellent. I used to hate Sharon's voice - I now really like her vocals. I have no idea where this all came from. Does this sort of sudden change of heart happen to you lot?

Well, my review is basically scuppered now since I can't exactly trash something I now like, and I can't be bothered to write a gushing, positive review. Fuck.

That just means you should be more selective about what you review and don't just do it to bash random bands for no other reason than to bash them, frankly.

Look, I had already established that I didn't like it before going in to review it, having listened to it a number of times before. This wasn't bashing for the sake of bashing, it was bashing because I didn't like it. Or, so I thought.

All I will say is that this symphonic stuff is starting to sound better on the whole, it might have something to do with that.

Well, the point is that you're reviewing it without letting things sink in and trying to get a sense for what it really is you're reviewing. This isn't something that only you do or have done - I did it at one point and several others have - but just saying, that's what you gotta learn if you want to keep reviewing music.

I see now. I guess what confused me was that it all happened very quickly, and I couldn't stand the band before. It hasn't happened to me before either, despite giving the album the same amount of listens as I do any other album I am curious of/reviewing.

Well, I guess this is indeed a sign that I need to give albums more time to sink in. I gave Mother Earth about 10 listens over the space of two months, and not once do I remember it growing on me. I go for it today and hey! I like it.

It's generally better to stick to writing about stuff that you've already familiarized yourself with a fair bit. Of course, how much time something needs to sink in before being properly analyzed can vary; I only listened to Gloryhammer's debut in depth yesterday precisely for the purpose of reviewing it, but said music is so shallow that it barely requires more than a passing listen to be fully grasped. On the other hand, I'm currently working on one for Sulphur Aeon's sophomore, which I've been listening to on and off ever since it came out. Plus, I don't listen to all that much death metal nowadays, so writing about it doesn't come as naturally to me as writing about heavy or power metal.

Another lesson learned; and several new bands to listen to as well! (Even Epica are starting to sound pretty good now!)

Talking of Gloryhammer, I have listened to this on a number of occasions and I am certain that I 'get' it. There is nothing to be gleaned from it. Onward to the review page!

I should have known this would happen, given my recent acceptance of Once as a good album and the fact that symphonic stuff isn't my forte.

May you be carried forth in wings of steel and angry keyboard bashing, mate

EDIT: This new Unspoken King review is incredibly inane: http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/C ... ath/210502

It basically consists of "it still sounds like Cryptopsy, and people who don't think so and don't like it are wrong", and there's such a small amount of musical description that I would've no real idea of what the album sounds like beyond "not deathcore" had I never heard it before. Just lousy, really.

Failing to realise that the issue isn't the new elements, it is just that said elements are really poorly implemented into a generic shell of what the band once was.

And those cleans are shite.

I appreciate your enthusiasm, Napalm_Satan, but don't be hasty with opinionated reviews, positive or negative. If it's a negative review, it's a much better read if the author has taken time to identify how a work fails. I've nodded toward lord_genghis before as far as a good example of a satisfying rage-slag, but that takes practice, too.

If you want to keep churning through material and not lose momentum, stick to a somewhat more clinical feel, or at least include qualifying statements to give yourself some leeway. If you haven't let things sink in yet, avoid hyperbole at all costs. You might just be jumping the gun.

I've tried something a bit more clinical (only slightly), and I never just say 'it sucks' without saying why it sucks and how that causes it to suck. I try to do all of that, this whole Within Temptation debacle is down entirely to me jumping the gun and not letting it sink in. Even so, I can always go more clinical if needed and qualify my statements further, and this semi-clinical ranting I am aiming for doesn't always work.

Thanks for the pointers man. I need a break from reviewing, to be honest. Not a long one, but of a similar length to the one I took mid January. Give myself some time to let this advice sink in, how best to implement it, and calm down in general.

You do seem a little high strung. Do 100 jumping jacks and then some yoga.

In fact, I'm going to do some push ups right now because you inspired me.

That Cryptopsy review really is shit. Spends the whole time blathering on about how he doesn't know what deathcore is but it isn't that different - news flash, there's something called the Internet where you can look up those things and be informed before you write a shitty review.

The Unspoken King really was one of the most blatant sell outs in metal in quite some time. Even Morbid Angel and Metallica, for all their controversy, didn't come off like they were just aping trends - but TUK was literally just Cryptopsy adding random deathcore garbage and other shit into their sound. That combined with Flo Mounier's asinine video about how the "haters" are all fat basement dwelling losers pretty much made the band irrelevant forever now, in the blink of an eye. Fascinating in a way, like a bad car crash over in a second. I can't remember what TUK even sounds like really, and often I just forget it exists at all, which is worse than even Illud for me.

I am always like this, honestly. And yoga hurts.

As for Craptopsy... eh. Not even worth getting worked up about. The album is so generic and derivative that nothing stands out apart from those clean vocals and Flo's ego being translated into a ridiculously loud kit. Just a band whoring itself out artistically and failing in the process.

Can't believe Human666 actually gave a medium score (59%) on his Iron Savior review... This doesn't sound like trolling, right?

Not sure you understand what trolling is.