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stainedclass2112
Veteran

Joined: Tue Nov 24, 2015 5:36 pm
Posts: 2540
Location: Bucketheadland
PostPosted: Fri Apr 01, 2016 6:37 pm 
 

I have actually had so much fun reading some of these. Some of them cracked me up so bad!
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raspberrysoda wrote:
It will make you piss in your goddamn pants. It has influences from thrash, grindcore, crossover, hardcore punk, and RUDOLPH THE FUCKING RED NOSED DEER

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Napalm_Satan
Ever-Opening Flower

Joined: Sat Apr 18, 2015 4:27 pm
Posts: 3316
PostPosted: Fri Apr 01, 2016 6:38 pm 
 

Is plagiarism allowed under this rule set?

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Kjetter
Mutineer

Joined: Sat Oct 18, 2003 4:21 am
Posts: 157
Location: Norway
PostPosted: Fri Apr 01, 2016 6:47 pm 
 

We no longer moderate review submissions at all - but someone may take action even if we do not... I'd advice against it.

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UnholyCrusada
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Mon Aug 12, 2013 10:19 pm
Posts: 27
PostPosted: Fri Apr 01, 2016 6:49 pm 
 

Man, some of you guys are really going at it full force. I tapped out after like 15 because I just couldn't be arsed anymore. Real troopers here, the lot of you.

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Dudemanguy
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Mar 30, 2010 7:19 pm
Posts: 2448
PostPosted: Fri Apr 01, 2016 6:50 pm 
 

Never underestimate the power of shitposting.
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Occasionally, I write reviews of various Japanese artists here.
Japanese metal forum

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Napalm_Satan
Ever-Opening Flower

Joined: Sat Apr 18, 2015 4:27 pm
Posts: 3316
PostPosted: Fri Apr 01, 2016 6:51 pm 
 

Kjetter wrote:
We no longer moderate review submissions at all - but someone may take action even if we do not... I'd advice against it.


because biff nabbed one of mine for Pantera's last. Just asking.

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UnholyCrusada
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Mon Aug 12, 2013 10:19 pm
Posts: 27
PostPosted: Fri Apr 01, 2016 6:55 pm 
 

For the Metallica albums he's actually just copying and pasting every review (or at least as many as will fit the character limit) into his own.

EDIT: At least some of them, like Justice and the Black Album.


Last edited by UnholyCrusada on Fri Apr 01, 2016 6:56 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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stainedclass2112
Veteran

Joined: Tue Nov 24, 2015 5:36 pm
Posts: 2540
Location: Bucketheadland
PostPosted: Fri Apr 01, 2016 6:56 pm 
 

A few minutes ago when I was posting some I was just clicking on random albums to write random nonsense, I clicked on Rush's debut while not really thinking. I pasted something stupid (I forget what) then almost clicked "publish" when I realized I had a completely finished draft from earlier for that album already. :lol:
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raspberrysoda wrote:
It will make you piss in your goddamn pants. It has influences from thrash, grindcore, crossover, hardcore punk, and RUDOLPH THE FUCKING RED NOSED DEER

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ThanatosUK
Metal newbie

Joined: Thu Nov 09, 2006 4:07 am
Posts: 214
PostPosted: Fri Apr 01, 2016 6:56 pm 
 

It's all going to be wiped after today so I imagine it doesn't matter.

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~Guest 76452
Metal freak

Joined: Mon Jul 31, 2006 8:40 pm
Posts: 4414
PostPosted: Fri Apr 01, 2016 6:57 pm 
 

Dudemanguy wrote:
Oh man, I'm really glad my exams were yesterday. I would have been fucked otherwise. And no Perdition, I have never heard of Guy Mann-Dude before. :lol: What a name.

I saw that in the updated band list the other day and filed it for future use :lol:

I'm probably gonna do some lazy, yet serious obscure Japanese ones for the fuck of it (well until time runs out).

[edit] Screw that, I think I burnt myself out. Was gonna do Tengusakura but my brain wouldn't cooperate.

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Sick6Six
Metalhead

Joined: Wed Dec 05, 2012 12:01 pm
Posts: 1704
Location: United States
PostPosted: Fri Apr 01, 2016 7:26 pm 
 

I actually put a bit of thought (like 2 minutes) into the 2 reviews I wrote. I think my Lucifugum review should not be deleted because it is actually a legitimate description of the so called music on the album.

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stainedclass2112
Veteran

Joined: Tue Nov 24, 2015 5:36 pm
Posts: 2540
Location: Bucketheadland
PostPosted: Fri Apr 01, 2016 7:44 pm 
 

What about the album earned that one point you gave it?
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raspberrysoda wrote:
It will make you piss in your goddamn pants. It has influences from thrash, grindcore, crossover, hardcore punk, and RUDOLPH THE FUCKING RED NOSED DEER

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MikeyC
Official Greeter of Broken Hills

Joined: Wed Jun 14, 2006 5:16 am
Posts: 13321
Location: Australia
PostPosted: Fri Apr 01, 2016 7:53 pm 
 

Okay, so this has turned out hilariously. :lol: I must admit you all had me fooled. And for that I'm going to submit my own "reviews." :D
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The Lions Den wrote:
Just vegan and faggots melo-tech-death for dad's fancy-ass. Fuck!!!

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Napalm_Satan
Ever-Opening Flower

Joined: Sat Apr 18, 2015 4:27 pm
Posts: 3316
PostPosted: Fri Apr 01, 2016 7:58 pm 
 

MikeyC wrote:
Okay, so this has turned out hilariously. :lol: I must admit you all had me fooled. And for that I'm going to submit my own "reviews." :D


Ooh, Mikey trying his hand at shitposting... that will be interesting! You are too nice for that!

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MikeyC
Official Greeter of Broken Hills

Joined: Wed Jun 14, 2006 5:16 am
Posts: 13321
Location: Australia
PostPosted: Fri Apr 01, 2016 8:00 pm 
 

Napalm_Satan wrote:
MikeyC wrote:
Okay, so this has turned out hilariously. :lol: I must admit you all had me fooled. And for that I'm going to submit my own "reviews." :D


Ooh, Mikey trying his hand at shitposting... that will be interesting! You are too nice for that!

Nothing wrong with a little bit of fun. Luckily in my shitty time zone I can catch the end of this. :D
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The Lions Den wrote:
Just vegan and faggots melo-tech-death for dad's fancy-ass. Fuck!!!

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Napalm_Satan
Ever-Opening Flower

Joined: Sat Apr 18, 2015 4:27 pm
Posts: 3316
PostPosted: Fri Apr 01, 2016 8:03 pm 
 

Not that, I just didn't think it was possible for you to be mean at all, like it is just physically impossible to the point of breaking physics. Go forth and be an ass!

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Goatfangs
58.2% Metal

Joined: Tue Mar 18, 2008 5:02 pm
Posts: 2607
Location: United States
PostPosted: Fri Apr 01, 2016 8:04 pm 
 

I'm touching myself tonight to all of the albums I've reviewed.
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Openly LGBTQ+
In defiance of Christofascists

And they'll tell you black is really white - The moon is just the sun at night - And when you walk in golden halls - You get to keep the gold that falls - It's Heaven and Hell
RIP DIO

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MikeyC
Official Greeter of Broken Hills

Joined: Wed Jun 14, 2006 5:16 am
Posts: 13321
Location: Australia
PostPosted: Fri Apr 01, 2016 8:05 pm 
 

Haha, I can be mean but it'll probably come off as watered down. Still keen to have a bit of fun. :) I'm liking your ones!
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The Lions Den wrote:
Just vegan and faggots melo-tech-death for dad's fancy-ass. Fuck!!!

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DoomMetalAlchemist
Metalhead

Joined: Mon Dec 27, 2010 6:10 am
Posts: 1754
PostPosted: Fri Apr 01, 2016 8:08 pm 
 

MikeyC wrote:
Luckily in my shitty time zone I can catch the end of this. :D


I would assume it would end for everyone in Hellblazer and Morrigan's time zone, not end only for people in each select time zone...

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MikeyC
Official Greeter of Broken Hills

Joined: Wed Jun 14, 2006 5:16 am
Posts: 13321
Location: Australia
PostPosted: Fri Apr 01, 2016 8:11 pm 
 

DoomMetalAlchemist wrote:
MikeyC wrote:
Luckily in my shitty time zone I can catch the end of this. :D


I would assume it would end for everyone in Hellblazer and Morrigan's time zone, not end only for people in each select time zone...

I meant that it's already April 2 here and I can catch the end of April 1 in Canada, haha.
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The Lions Den wrote:
Just vegan and faggots melo-tech-death for dad's fancy-ass. Fuck!!!

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DoomMetalAlchemist
Metalhead

Joined: Mon Dec 27, 2010 6:10 am
Posts: 1754
PostPosted: Fri Apr 01, 2016 8:12 pm 
 

MikeyC wrote:
DoomMetalAlchemist wrote:

I would assume it would end for everyone in Hellblazer and Morrigan's time zone, not end only for people in each select time zone...

I meant that it's already April 2 here and I can catch the end of April 1 in Canada, haha.


Ah. My mistake.

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pickharmonic
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Thu Dec 18, 2003 11:02 pm
Posts: 2
Location: United States of America
PostPosted: Fri Apr 01, 2016 8:17 pm 
 

PLEASE KEEP ALL THESE APRIL FOOLS REVIEWS!!! I mean, I don't want them counted, but just a separate page where we can all go back and read strictly for comedic purposes. I've been reading all these on and off all day and I'm laughing my ass off!

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Dudemanguy
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Mar 30, 2010 7:19 pm
Posts: 2448
PostPosted: Fri Apr 01, 2016 8:22 pm 
 

Perdition666 wrote:
I saw that in the updated band list the other day and filed it for future use :lol:

I'm probably gonna do some lazy, yet serious obscure Japanese ones for the fuck of it (well until time runs out).

[edit] Screw that, I think I burnt myself out. Was gonna do Tengusakura but my brain wouldn't cooperate.

You might be the only person who took this even somewhat seriously.

I think I've mostly run out of "witty" things to say. A lot of these are pretty funny. I know it's totally juvenile, but raspberrysoda's review for Alcest's first album had me laughing pretty hard.
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Occasionally, I write reviews of various Japanese artists here.
Japanese metal forum

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Goatfangs
58.2% Metal

Joined: Tue Mar 18, 2008 5:02 pm
Posts: 2607
Location: United States
PostPosted: Fri Apr 01, 2016 8:31 pm 
 

I ran out of goat demons to jizz off to. :c
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Openly LGBTQ+
In defiance of Christofascists

And they'll tell you black is really white - The moon is just the sun at night - And when you walk in golden halls - You get to keep the gold that falls - It's Heaven and Hell
RIP DIO

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~Guest 76452
Metal freak

Joined: Mon Jul 31, 2006 8:40 pm
Posts: 4414
PostPosted: Fri Apr 01, 2016 8:35 pm 
 

Dudemanguy wrote:
You might be the only person who took this even somewhat seriously.

I think I've mostly run out of "witty" things to say. A lot of these are pretty funny. I know it's totally juvenile, but raspberrysoda's review for Alcest's first album had me laughing pretty hard.
I think some of the more serious reviews (or ideas, rather) I had gestating in my mind for quite some time. I could probably expand/mold them into something submittable down the road, dunno.

Around 50% of what I submitted I was serious on to one degree or another (there may be a bit of hyberbole at play with some of them though). I started off joking around then I got more serious later on.

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stainedclass2112
Veteran

Joined: Tue Nov 24, 2015 5:36 pm
Posts: 2540
Location: Bucketheadland
PostPosted: Fri Apr 01, 2016 8:50 pm 
 

Insin wrote:
0 just like the tab for literally all meshuggah songs
:lol:
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raspberrysoda wrote:
It will make you piss in your goddamn pants. It has influences from thrash, grindcore, crossover, hardcore punk, and RUDOLPH THE FUCKING RED NOSED DEER

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Napalm_Satan
Ever-Opening Flower

Joined: Sat Apr 18, 2015 4:27 pm
Posts: 3316
PostPosted: Fri Apr 01, 2016 8:50 pm 
 

Oh man... that was good. I can't do this anymore, I can only feign racism/sexism/creepiness/homophobia/(anti)-elitism for so long. Time to screen cap all 75 'reviews', making sure to take Thanatos' responses for maximum effect!

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DoomMetalAlchemist
Metalhead

Joined: Mon Dec 27, 2010 6:10 am
Posts: 1754
PostPosted: Fri Apr 01, 2016 8:52 pm 
 

stainedclass2112 wrote:
Insin wrote:
0 just like the tab for literally all meshuggah songs
:lol:


I don't know how true that is, as I don't listen to Meshuggah, but that was pretty clever. :lol:

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Dudemanguy
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Mar 30, 2010 7:19 pm
Posts: 2448
PostPosted: Fri Apr 01, 2016 8:54 pm 
 

I'm conflicted whether or not to post here or the other thread, but let's just go with this one since everyone is using it anyway.

Oh man, I ran Bahamut7's Art of Life review through google translate.

Spoiler: show
Image

:lol:
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Occasionally, I write reviews of various Japanese artists here.
Japanese metal forum

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simonitro
Metal newbie

Joined: Thu Apr 08, 2004 3:41 pm
Posts: 348
Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada
PostPosted: Fri Apr 01, 2016 8:56 pm 
 

So, is this going to be an April Fools thing or permanently? This is hilarious and I love how everyone's going all out. :D
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Pretty much I listen to all metal genres and enjoy them all except for Drone, DSBM, extremely slow Doom Metal, some Ambient stuff and most -core stuff.

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MikeyC
Official Greeter of Broken Hills

Joined: Wed Jun 14, 2006 5:16 am
Posts: 13321
Location: Australia
PostPosted: Fri Apr 01, 2016 8:57 pm 
 

stainedclass2112 wrote:
Insin wrote:
0 just like the tab for literally all meshuggah songs
:lol:

I like Meshuggah but that one was pretty funny. :)
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The Lions Den wrote:
Just vegan and faggots melo-tech-death for dad's fancy-ass. Fuck!!!

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Master_Of_Thrash
Metalhead

Joined: Mon Apr 20, 2015 1:57 pm
Posts: 2020
Location: Ceh, neh, deh
PostPosted: Fri Apr 01, 2016 8:58 pm 
 

OMG :lol: :lol:! I knew something was up when I noticed all these 0%'s on the reviews page for albums like The Number Of The Beast and fucking Tapping The Vein :scratch: :nono:... Infuriated with N_S's submission for an obvious thrash classic, I decided to check out the "review"... only to see "FUCK OFF MOT" as the review title. Ye got me! :lol:
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John_Sunlight wrote:
Please don't think I'm a generic Zimbabwean but I think using toasters to make toast is just tops.

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stainedclass2112
Veteran

Joined: Tue Nov 24, 2015 5:36 pm
Posts: 2540
Location: Bucketheadland
PostPosted: Fri Apr 01, 2016 8:59 pm 
 

N_S when you put "Epidemic of Vaginas" about 30 seconds after I put "Epidemic of Gay", I laughed so freaking hard for a solid minute :lol:
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raspberrysoda wrote:
It will make you piss in your goddamn pants. It has influences from thrash, grindcore, crossover, hardcore punk, and RUDOLPH THE FUCKING RED NOSED DEER

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Napalm_Satan
Ever-Opening Flower

Joined: Sat Apr 18, 2015 4:27 pm
Posts: 3316
PostPosted: Fri Apr 01, 2016 9:02 pm 
 

Master_Of_Thrash wrote:
OMG :lol: :lol:! I knew something was up when I noticed all these 0%'s on the reviews page for albums like The Number Of The Beast and fucking Tapping The Vein :scratch: :nono:... Infuriated with N_S's submission for an obvious thrash classic, I decided to check out the "review"... only to see "FUCK OFF MOT" as the review title. Ye got me! :lol:


Trust me when I saw HB's review for Master of Puppets and the subsequent flood of 100% St. Anger reviews I was just as confused as you. Oh man this was too good!


stainedclass2112 wrote:
N_S when you put "Epidemic of Vaginas" about 30 seconds after I put "Epidemic of Gay", I laughed so freaking hard for a solid minute :lol:


Yep, that was the idea dude. Take whatever someone said and turn it on its head! And I had the same reaction when I saw 'Epidemic of Gay' written out! :lol:

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Master_Of_Thrash
Metalhead

Joined: Mon Apr 20, 2015 1:57 pm
Posts: 2020
Location: Ceh, neh, deh
PostPosted: Fri Apr 01, 2016 9:07 pm 
 

Oh man, MikeyC's reviews (disses) are fire!!! :lol:
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John_Sunlight wrote:
Please don't think I'm a generic Zimbabwean but I think using toasters to make toast is just tops.

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Napalm_Satan
Ever-Opening Flower

Joined: Sat Apr 18, 2015 4:27 pm
Posts: 3316
PostPosted: Fri Apr 01, 2016 9:08 pm 
 

Holy shit has he come out with some good ones! Keep it up dude!

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Derigin
The Mountain Man

Joined: Sun Jan 01, 2006 6:25 am
Posts: 5462
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Fri Apr 01, 2016 9:10 pm 
 

There are now over 1000 reviews for today.
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R.I.P. Diamhea 1987-2018
Live young, die free. Gone, but not forgotten.

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~Guest 76452
Metal freak

Joined: Mon Jul 31, 2006 8:40 pm
Posts: 4414
PostPosted: Fri Apr 01, 2016 9:11 pm 
 

Adrenaline Mob needs some TLC. I'm too burnt out to do anymore. :P

Can't imagine how anyone can do like 25-50 real reviews in one day (hell, even 5-10). Yikes!

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stainedclass2112
Veteran

Joined: Tue Nov 24, 2015 5:36 pm
Posts: 2540
Location: Bucketheadland
PostPosted: Fri Apr 01, 2016 9:11 pm 
 

Goatfangs about Master of Puppets wrote:
Flip the album upside down and it's a little better, then it looks like a hundred crosses going into a hairy but
This is in my top 3 for sure, I am never going to un-see that :lol:
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raspberrysoda wrote:
It will make you piss in your goddamn pants. It has influences from thrash, grindcore, crossover, hardcore punk, and RUDOLPH THE FUCKING RED NOSED DEER

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Napalm_Satan
Ever-Opening Flower

Joined: Sat Apr 18, 2015 4:27 pm
Posts: 3316
PostPosted: Fri Apr 01, 2016 9:13 pm 
 

Oh for fuck's sake goatfangs... now I can't get that out of my head!

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