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MikeyC
Official Greeter of Broken Hills

Joined: Wed Jun 14, 2006 5:16 am
Posts: 13310
Location: Australia
PostPosted: Fri Apr 01, 2016 9:17 pm 
 

Master_Of_Thrash wrote:
Oh man, MikeyC's reviews (disses) are fire!!! :lol:

Napalm_Satan wrote:
Holy shit has he come out with some good ones! Keep it up dude!

Thanks guys. :D
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The Lions Den wrote:
Just vegan and faggots melo-tech-death for dad's fancy-ass. Fuck!!!

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Napalm_Satan
Ever-Opening Flower

Joined: Sat Apr 18, 2015 4:27 pm
Posts: 3290
PostPosted: Fri Apr 01, 2016 9:26 pm 
 

Oh and Thanatos - holy shit that was funny, man. :lol:

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Master_Of_Thrash
Metalhead

Joined: Mon Apr 20, 2015 1:57 pm
Posts: 2020
Location: Ceh, neh, deh
PostPosted: Fri Apr 01, 2016 9:40 pm 
 

Mikey, you're still way too nice for your insults and disses to be taken seriously. I can't even imagine you hurting a dust particle :lol:.
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John_Sunlight wrote:
Please don't think I'm a generic Zimbabwean but I think using toasters to make toast is just tops.

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Goatfangs
58.2% Metal

Joined: Tue Mar 18, 2008 5:02 pm
Posts: 2557
Location: United States
PostPosted: Fri Apr 01, 2016 9:43 pm 
 

Now I'm going to review album covers that show real nude boobies. I started with Virgin Killer.
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And they'll tell you black is really white - The moon is just the sun at night - And when you walk in golden halls - You get to keep the gold that falls - It's Heaven and Hell

7|10|42-RIP-5|16|10

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MikeyC
Official Greeter of Broken Hills

Joined: Wed Jun 14, 2006 5:16 am
Posts: 13310
Location: Australia
PostPosted: Fri Apr 01, 2016 9:47 pm 
 

Master_Of_Thrash wrote:
Mikey, you're still way too nice for your insults and disses to be taken seriously. I can't even imagine you hurting a dust particle :lol:.

Haha, I'm trying. :P I like your ones. I like them all, actually. :)
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The Lions Den wrote:
Just vegan and faggots melo-tech-death for dad's fancy-ass. Fuck!!!

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Master_Of_Thrash
Metalhead

Joined: Mon Apr 20, 2015 1:57 pm
Posts: 2020
Location: Ceh, neh, deh
PostPosted: Fri Apr 01, 2016 9:50 pm 
 

MikeyC wrote:
Master_Of_Thrash wrote:
Mikey, you're still way too nice for your insults and disses to be taken seriously. I can't even imagine you hurting a dust particle :lol:.

Haha, I'm trying. :P I like your ones. I like them all, actually. :)

Really? I appreciate it, man. At least somebody found me funny :(.
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John_Sunlight wrote:
Please don't think I'm a generic Zimbabwean but I think using toasters to make toast is just tops.

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Bahamut7
Metal newbie

Joined: Sat Mar 17, 2007 4:29 pm
Posts: 213
Location: United Kingdom
PostPosted: Fri Apr 01, 2016 9:52 pm 
 

I sure opened a pandora's box for checking what MA were doing for April Fools. Posted a bunch of unfunny shit but it's been a fun ride. I'm meant to be up in five hours time and lost a few of that sleeping time thanks to MA's April Fools mayhem. :lol:
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My Last.fm - If I happen to be worth a damn. :P

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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 9275
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Fri Apr 01, 2016 10:00 pm 
 

Am I the only one who wrote my daily review like nothing happened?

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Napalm_Satan
Ever-Opening Flower

Joined: Sat Apr 18, 2015 4:27 pm
Posts: 3290
PostPosted: Fri Apr 01, 2016 10:01 pm 
 

Diamhea wrote:
Am I the only one who wrote my daily review like nothing happened?


hells_unicorn was being all serious and boring and 'talking about the music' and other bullshit like that.

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Master_Of_Thrash
Metalhead

Joined: Mon Apr 20, 2015 1:57 pm
Posts: 2020
Location: Ceh, neh, deh
PostPosted: Fri Apr 01, 2016 10:01 pm 
 

Diamhea wrote:
Am I the only one who wrote my daily review like nothing happened?

Probably.
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John_Sunlight wrote:
Please don't think I'm a generic Zimbabwean but I think using toasters to make toast is just tops.

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stainedclass2112
Veteran

Joined: Tue Nov 24, 2015 5:36 pm
Posts: 2525
Location: Bucketheadland
PostPosted: Fri Apr 01, 2016 10:03 pm 
 

Diamhea I saw your review. Seeing it in the middle of all this nonsense actually made me laugh quite a bit :lol:
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raspberrysoda wrote:
It will make you piss in your goddamn pants. It has influences from thrash, grindcore, crossover, hardcore punk, and RUDOLPH THE FUCKING RED NOSED DEER

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Napalm_Satan
Ever-Opening Flower

Joined: Sat Apr 18, 2015 4:27 pm
Posts: 3290
PostPosted: Fri Apr 01, 2016 10:06 pm 
 

@MoT - Dude I will club you over the head with a baby seal... but only after I listen to Delain some more :love:


Last edited by Napalm_Satan on Fri Apr 01, 2016 10:11 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Master_Of_Thrash
Metalhead

Joined: Mon Apr 20, 2015 1:57 pm
Posts: 2020
Location: Ceh, neh, deh
PostPosted: Fri Apr 01, 2016 10:10 pm 
 

Napalm_Satan wrote:
@MoT - Dude I will club you over the head with a baby seal... but only after I listen to Delain some more :love:

I don't see that happening, coming from a Delain fan. Plus, that's animal cruelty. You can be sent to jail for that. :lol:
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John_Sunlight wrote:
Please don't think I'm a generic Zimbabwean but I think using toasters to make toast is just tops.

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Napalm_Satan
Ever-Opening Flower

Joined: Sat Apr 18, 2015 4:27 pm
Posts: 3290
PostPosted: Fri Apr 01, 2016 10:11 pm 
 

True but I am also a Cryptopsy fan. And I hate animals, and I am more than willing to break the law. :lol:

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Master_Of_Thrash
Metalhead

Joined: Mon Apr 20, 2015 1:57 pm
Posts: 2020
Location: Ceh, neh, deh
PostPosted: Fri Apr 01, 2016 10:20 pm 
 

Napalm_Satan wrote:
True but I am also a Cryptopsy fan. And I hate animals, and I am more than willing to break the law. :lol:

... But, you're still a Delain fan, thus thou art pussy! :lol:

Not saying I'm a sadist, but non-domesticated animals that have motives to attack humans deserve to be killed (e.g. lions, bears, snakes, etc). I can't do that though, because Canada places animals above humans, for fuck's sake. :grumble:
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John_Sunlight wrote:
Please don't think I'm a generic Zimbabwean but I think using toasters to make toast is just tops.

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Napalm_Satan
Ever-Opening Flower

Joined: Sat Apr 18, 2015 4:27 pm
Posts: 3290
PostPosted: Fri Apr 01, 2016 10:22 pm 
 

Well then this pussy bites. Better watch it! And I won't comment on politics lest I get shut down or something.

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Erosion of Humanity
Destroyer of the Gods

Joined: Thu Sep 13, 2012 5:12 pm
Posts: 5702
Location: Chicago
PostPosted: Fri Apr 01, 2016 10:23 pm 
 

Diamhea wrote:
Am I the only one who wrote my daily review like nothing happened?


Probably but look at the source. I mean sure I fucked off a bit and I may do a bit more, just maybe, even HB did apparently (can't possibly keep up with the flood) but look at the people doing like 70 of them.... only stays funny for so long. But then again it's well established that I'm a crotchety old man. Now get the fuck off my lawn damnit. :old:

Master_Of_Thrash wrote:
Not saying I'm a sadist, but non-domesticated animals that have motives to attack humans deserve to be killed (e.g. lions, bears, snakes, etc). I can't do that though, because Canada places animals above humans, for fuck's sake. :grumble:


As it should be. Knew I was a closet Canuck.
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Man is truly a wretched thing, and the forest is committed to expunging him from existence.

Azmodes wrote:
It combines two of my favourite things: penis innuendo and derigin.

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Master_Of_Thrash
Metalhead

Joined: Mon Apr 20, 2015 1:57 pm
Posts: 2020
Location: Ceh, neh, deh
PostPosted: Fri Apr 01, 2016 10:30 pm 
 

Everyone has a little Canuck in them :).

Here's a pretty serious guy that thinks the Archives are suddenly "not the same as they once were". It's just one day. Live a little.
http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/I ... 000/359849
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John_Sunlight wrote:
Please don't think I'm a generic Zimbabwean but I think using toasters to make toast is just tops.

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Napalm_Satan
Ever-Opening Flower

Joined: Sat Apr 18, 2015 4:27 pm
Posts: 3290
PostPosted: Fri Apr 01, 2016 10:46 pm 
 

I don't think he even realises it is an April Fools thing - he honestly thinks that this is now the status quo for the site.

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~Guest 76452
Metal freak

Joined: Mon Jul 31, 2006 8:40 pm
Posts: 4414
PostPosted: Fri Apr 01, 2016 10:56 pm 
 

Spoiler: show
Image


Now it would be fun to determine which reviews today are either April Fools ones or genuine Crap Diem fodder.

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MikeyC
Official Greeter of Broken Hills

Joined: Wed Jun 14, 2006 5:16 am
Posts: 13310
Location: Australia
PostPosted: Fri Apr 01, 2016 10:59 pm 
 

The review prank has actually yielded something cool for me: it got me to check out the hilariously-titled band called Eximperituserqethhzebibšiptugakkathšulweliarzaxułum. Pretty cool stuff!
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The Lions Den wrote:
Just vegan and faggots melo-tech-death for dad's fancy-ass. Fuck!!!

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Master_Of_Thrash
Metalhead

Joined: Mon Apr 20, 2015 1:57 pm
Posts: 2020
Location: Ceh, neh, deh
PostPosted: Fri Apr 01, 2016 11:16 pm 
 

MikeyC wrote:
The review prank has actually yielded something cool for me: it got me to check out the hilariously-titled band called Eximperituserqethhzebibšiptugakkathšulweliarzaxułum. Pretty cool stuff!

Have you made an attempt to pronounce that yet? I got to "Ex...", bit my tongue, then gave up on life.
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John_Sunlight wrote:
Please don't think I'm a generic Zimbabwean but I think using toasters to make toast is just tops.

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MikeyC
Official Greeter of Broken Hills

Joined: Wed Jun 14, 2006 5:16 am
Posts: 13310
Location: Australia
PostPosted: Fri Apr 01, 2016 11:19 pm 
 

Master_Of_Thrash wrote:
MikeyC wrote:
The review prank has actually yielded something cool for me: it got me to check out the hilariously-titled band called Eximperituserqethhzebibšiptugakkathšulweliarzaxułum. Pretty cool stuff!

Have you made an attempt to pronounce that yet? I got to "Ex...", bit my tongue, then gave up on life.

I don't know how the inflections work (the š and the ł), but I got it by sounding it out really slowly, haha.
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The Lions Den wrote:
Just vegan and faggots melo-tech-death for dad's fancy-ass. Fuck!!!

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MutantClannfear
Veteran

Joined: Thu May 27, 2010 12:12 am
Posts: 3263
Location: United States
PostPosted: Fri Apr 01, 2016 11:25 pm 
 

š = "sh" as in "sheet"
ł = "w" as in "water"
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GLASS SHRINE - mellow major-key black metal
THE OUTER RIM - genre-fuck exquisite corpse avant-garde metal

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DoomMetalAlchemist
Metalhead

Joined: Mon Dec 27, 2010 6:10 am
Posts: 1728
PostPosted: Fri Apr 01, 2016 11:59 pm 
 

Mistereyedee's review for St. Anger:

Quote:
The only Metallica album I ever liked. - 10%

And that's already pushing it. At least this sounds more like the gods Slipknot and Pantera. Although having Dime play solos would have made it more worthwhile. But again, why listen to Metallica when we got better shit out there...like Limp Bizkit? Why the HELL aren't they added to the Archives...yet?


I actually knew someone with similar opinions in real life. :lol: Even though he didn't think St. Anger was all THAT good, he said it was the only good Metallica album. His idea of great metal was Limp Bizkit, Linkin Park, Staind, etc.

And this wasn't in the quoted review, but the guy I'm talking about thought Ronnie James Dio was laughable.

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Goatfangs
58.2% Metal

Joined: Tue Mar 18, 2008 5:02 pm
Posts: 2557
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sat Apr 02, 2016 12:07 am 
 

I wrote a well thought out review for Sabazius: The Descent of Man - I want criticisms of it. I think I did a top notch job crafting that one.
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And they'll tell you black is really white - The moon is just the sun at night - And when you walk in golden halls - You get to keep the gold that falls - It's Heaven and Hell

7|10|42-RIP-5|16|10

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Xenophon
Metalhead

Joined: Wed Aug 13, 2014 12:07 am
Posts: 1009
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sat Apr 02, 2016 12:13 am 
 

Well, that was fun everyone. I thought it was a nice touch that you could keep the joke reviews you had written.

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Master_Of_Thrash
Metalhead

Joined: Mon Apr 20, 2015 1:57 pm
Posts: 2020
Location: Ceh, neh, deh
PostPosted: Sat Apr 02, 2016 12:14 am 
 

Basically how I felt today :lol:

Spoiler: show
Image
_________________
John_Sunlight wrote:
Please don't think I'm a generic Zimbabwean but I think using toasters to make toast is just tops.


Last edited by Diamhea on Sat Apr 02, 2016 6:03 am, edited 1 time in total.
Spoiler stupid image macros

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~Guest 76452
Metal freak

Joined: Mon Jul 31, 2006 8:40 pm
Posts: 4414
PostPosted: Sat Apr 02, 2016 12:15 am 
 

I kept 12 reviews and may try my hand at reworking them into serious ones.

Woe to those who spammed hundreds of reviews and will have to delete them all manually. :P

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Thiestru
Metalhead

Joined: Thu Oct 09, 2008 9:18 am
Posts: 2058
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sat Apr 02, 2016 12:39 am 
 

I like how some of you administrators and moderators thought it was professional to specifically target my 'fuck off and resign' post on the latest site announcement, for which I publicly apologized. Yeah, I was wrong to take such an insulting tone. Can't you get over it? Jesus.
_________________
Zodijackyl wrote:
Anything but undying, eternal praise for Awaken the Guardian is completely wrong and a disgrace to you, your band, family, and Facebook friends list.


If you're interested in hearing my music, it can be found here: http://thiestru.bandcamp.com. Wassail.

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~Guest 76452
Metal freak

Joined: Mon Jul 31, 2006 8:40 pm
Posts: 4414
PostPosted: Sat Apr 02, 2016 12:47 am 
 

Not sure what I posted "bordered on insulting", unless its just that page being targeted and I happened to be at the top of it. I did notice a nasty typo that I had to correct though. :P

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Wilytank
Not a Flying Toy

Joined: Thu Jul 30, 2009 7:21 am
Posts: 5210
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sat Apr 02, 2016 12:54 am 
 

You know, the one good thing that came out of this is now we have an example of the worst case scenario that we can present to the next noob who comes in and complains about moderating reviews.
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KrigareTjovane wrote:
BenjaminC81 wrote:
I've got quite an extensive lesbian vampire movie collection at home

I've decided this is the only kind of collection in the world that matters.

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MikeyC
Official Greeter of Broken Hills

Joined: Wed Jun 14, 2006 5:16 am
Posts: 13310
Location: Australia
PostPosted: Sat Apr 02, 2016 1:24 am 
 

Xenophon wrote:
Well, that was fun everyone. I thought it was a nice touch that you could keep the joke reviews you had written.

Like I would keep any of the reviews I had written. :lol:

That was fun for me. It was very cathartic playing a bit silly. :D But now I'll try to be more mature.
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The Lions Den wrote:
Just vegan and faggots melo-tech-death for dad's fancy-ass. Fuck!!!

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hippiedrow
Metalhead

Joined: Sat Feb 23, 2008 7:15 pm
Posts: 1286
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sat Apr 02, 2016 1:47 am 
 

Clever joke, you really had me going for a bit.

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hells_unicorn
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Feb 15, 2005 8:32 pm
Posts: 2329
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sat Apr 02, 2016 3:19 am 
 

Napalm_Satan wrote:
Diamhea wrote:
Am I the only one who wrote my daily review like nothing happened?


hells_unicorn was being all serious and boring and 'talking about the music' and other bullshit like that.


That review for Twisted Into Form was written before the gag started and submitted about an hour before all the reviews were pulled, at no time during the construction of that review was I remotely aware that taking all of the moderation out of the reviews for the day was going to happen. I didn't participate in the mayhem that followed when the reviews were brought back because I was pretty busy for most of the day and, quite frankly, I didn't think the concept was terribly funny this time around, especially once the 2nd phase came in.

It's cool that just about everybody else here got a kick out of this year's prank, I just wasn't one of them, I thought it was reaching way too much and involved turning a one day a year affair into a drawn out, week-long dud. Maybe next year I'll find the joke far more amusing. We'll see.
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My projects:
Frost Giant
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My reviews.

R.I.P. Ronnie James Dio (July 14, 1942 - May 16, 2010)

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tomcat_ha
Minister of Boiling Water

Joined: Fri Oct 27, 2006 8:05 am
Posts: 4879
Location: Netherlands
PostPosted: Sat Apr 02, 2016 4:30 am 
 

acrobats review for master of puppets was the best one.
i wrote a couple myself but i think my sarcofago review was by far my most inspired.

Spoiler: show
HAILZ METAL BRETHERN AND DEATH TO POSEUR.

ALL OF METAL IS POSER. I AM NOT I AM 100% DESERVER OF THE I.N.RI ALBUM. I THINK ONLY I IS OF DESERVING OF THE TRUE CULT. EVERYBODY ELSE IS KID WHO LISTEN GORGOROTH AND BRUMZU. BUT I AM TRUE METAL AND TRUE ELIET. THIS ALBUM NOT DESERVE POPULAR BEUSAES IS TOO GOOD FOR THE SEEP OF MASS. I AM NOT CHRISTIAN SO I AM DESERVE OF THIS. I WILL BE METAL UNTIL I DAY AND AFTER AND THEN YOU WILL STILL NOT UNDERSTAND THE REAL ELITE. THIS IS FOR THE TRV UNDERGROUND ONLY YOU WILL NOT UNDERSTAND AND YOU WILL NOT BUY. IN IDEAL WORLD HITLER WOULD STILL BE ALIVE AND INSTEAD OF KIKES HE WOULD KILL PEOPLE WHO BUY INRI WHO DONT SHOULD BUY INRI BECAUSE INRI IS ELITE AND FOR THE ELITE BY THE ELITE LIKE ME AND ONLY ME AND MAYBE MY FRIEND ROBBIE. HE ALSO ELITE BUT HE DOESNT BUY THIS . I DONT UNDERSTAND HE ELITE LIKE ME. I AM ONLY FRIEND WITH ELITE. I HAD TO SEEK LONG TIME TO0 FIND GIRLFIWND WHO ALSO INRI THE CULT APPRECIATES. BUT I HAVENT FOUND. IF YOU GIRL WHO LIKE INRI BUT LIVE IN NETHERLANDS CAL ME MY PHONE NUMBER IS 06 385356881. WE CAN LISTEN TO INRI TOGETHERS AND BANG HEAD. IF YOU PRETEND I WILL NUCLEAR DRUM YOUR SKULL MYSELF I DONT ACCEPT POSEURS POSEURS WILL DIE ALL WILL DIE POSEURS NOT WELCOME TO THE INRI. INRI FOR THE CULT BY THE CULT ONLY THE CULT. YOU WILL NOT UNDERSTOOD THE CULT.


HAILZ WAGNAR LAMOUNIE

666

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Napalm_Satan
Ever-Opening Flower

Joined: Sat Apr 18, 2015 4:27 pm
Posts: 3290
PostPosted: Sat Apr 02, 2016 5:36 am 
 

hells_unicorn wrote:
That review for Twisted Into Form was written before the gag started and submitted about an hour before all the reviews were pulled, at no time during the construction of that review was I remotely aware that taking all of the moderation out of the reviews for the day was going to happen. I didn't participate in the mayhem that followed when the reviews were brought back because I was pretty busy for most of the day and, quite frankly, I didn't think the concept was terribly funny this time around, especially once the 2nd phase came in.

It's cool that just about everybody else here got a kick out of this year's prank, I just wasn't one of them, I thought it was reaching way too much and involved turning a one day a year affair into a drawn out, week-long dud. Maybe next year I'll find the joke far more amusing. We'll see.


Oh right, fair enough man, my bad! Too bad you didn't find this one funny, hopefully the staff will pull another Penis Metal on us that you will enjoy.

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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 9275
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Sat Apr 02, 2016 6:02 am 
 

Another reviewer who is demonstrably wrong about the 2005 Stormblast re-recording.

Yeah, the original had "mystique" or whatever bullcrap black metal fans come up with to overly romanticize '90s stuff, but it still sounds like shit and isn't as honest as you think it was.
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nuclearskull wrote:
Leave a steaming, stinking Rotting Repulsive Rotting Corpse = LIVE YOUNG - DIE FREE and move on to the NEXT form of yourself....or just be a fat Wal-Mart Mcdonalds pc of shit what do I give a fuck what you do.

Last.fm

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Verd
Metal newbie

Joined: Sat Feb 12, 2011 9:37 pm
Posts: 58
PostPosted: Sat Apr 02, 2016 6:23 am 
 

is there still anyone who believes in april fools things? those things are funny when you are 4 o 5 years old

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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 9275
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Sat Apr 02, 2016 6:29 am 
 

We wouldn't be doing it if nobody fell for it.

You'd be surprised how many people fall for it every year. That said, next year I propose that we enact a "one week ban" for veteran users who always feel the need to come in and go "Hur hur great job guys I almost fell for it but not this year I can tell this is a prank!" and either blow the prank's cover, or at least soften the potential impact bigtime. More regular users played along this year than in the past, which was nice.
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nuclearskull wrote:
Leave a steaming, stinking Rotting Repulsive Rotting Corpse = LIVE YOUNG - DIE FREE and move on to the NEXT form of yourself....or just be a fat Wal-Mart Mcdonalds pc of shit what do I give a fuck what you do.

Last.fm

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