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bayern
Metal newbie

Joined: Wed Sep 13, 2006 10:11 pm
Posts: 82
Location: Bulgaria
PostPosted: Wed Aug 09, 2017 11:45 pm 
 

dystopia4 wrote:
Alright, well now it seems you have edited your review to make it clear that Crowbar are sludge, which is obviously correct. Seems pretty weird you would go to all those lengths to prove Crowbar is doom-related (the most obvious thing in the world) because some guy said it wasn't and then not explain this to the reader. You did not hurt my feelings obviously, it's just the way you originally wrote it made it seem like you had no idea what you were talking about, and I still think the Candlemass/Solitude Aeturnus comparisons are incredibly off the mark. Even the American doom comparisons are marginally relevant at best, Crowbar's biggest influence has always been more traditional metal and classic rock, while obviously mixing Sabbath type shit with hardcore.


Well, I didn't want to go through all the length to explain the story around the review cause it was going to make it too long; I guess I should have. Anyway, I got the point through the first time around so it's fine.

By the way, I still have problems reading what you do in this review; the Candlemass/Solitude Aeturnus are not given as "comparisons" at all; I merely mentioned them as one(s) of the ends of the doom metal line, to put it this way. I also gave the other end there with the intention of illustrating sludge's, respectively Crowbar's, place on it; that's all. No direct comparisons of any kind... or shall I edit the review once more in order to make that more clear?

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TheWaltzer
Metalhead

Joined: Fri Feb 16, 2007 11:07 am
Posts: 651
Location: Slowfuck Republic
PostPosted: Thu Aug 24, 2017 1:58 am 
 

I take a bit of an issue with Felix headbanger's review of Sepultura - Machine Messiah (https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... ger/398926 ).
It is 6 paragraphs long, but only one is actually about the music on this particular album. The rest is either a personal story about how old Sepultura was awesome and how the new one sounds "modern" (=sucks). And it's not because I actually like the album, I just think the review barely describes it, besides the third paragrah.
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BastardHead
Worse than the PMRC

Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2005 7:53 pm
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Location: St. Charles, Illinois
PostPosted: Thu Aug 24, 2017 6:44 am 
 

Yeah that one's kind of a stinker. The album itself is described in only the vaguest terms, and even then it's not really all that accurate. Anybody who says the new album is just more of the same "groove-laden merged with modern djent" really hasn't paid too much attention to I Am the Enemy, Vandals Nest, or Silent Violence. I also like the album but RapeTheDead's negative review from a few weeks ago is 10000x better and actually explains what doesn't work (and even makes the same djent comparison but gives it some context to make it clear that he isn't just pulling it out of his ass because it's a popular modern genre).
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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
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Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Thu Aug 24, 2017 4:24 pm 
 

I had been ignoring his reviews because they all contain at least a dozen grammatical errors that he clearly can't address on his own, but the queue has become so backlogged that I am simply fixing them and accepting. Expect a lot of sub-par stuff to start coming through, because there are over 50 such entries in the queue that have been sitting most of the summer.
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BastardHead
Worse than the PMRC

Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2005 7:53 pm
Posts: 9244
Location: St. Charles, Illinois
PostPosted: Thu Aug 24, 2017 5:57 pm 
 

Just read his TBDM review and while it actually spends more time focusing on the music, it's still pretty weak. He mentions the only difference between Unhallowed and Slaughter of the Soul is "different vocals" but doesn't actually explain what's different about it. He also says it's loaded with breakdowns which tells me he's reviewing this based off a flaccid half-memory from over a decade ago because TBDM has had basically one breakdown throughout their entire career and it's on the pointless intro to that particular album. Yeah this guy isn't very good, shame he shares a name with our other Felix who is actually very good.
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MikeyC
Official Greeter of Broken Hills

Joined: Wed Jun 14, 2006 5:16 am
Posts: 13329
Location: Australia
PostPosted: Fri Aug 25, 2017 5:55 am 
 

From the Hardwired...to Self-Destruct review:

dheacock wrote:
Now for a higher level song like "Moth Into Flame". Released as the second single on September 26th, I specifically remember getting in trouble at school for hearing this the day it was released for having my phone out and then defiantly saying to my teacher, "Fuck off, I'm listening to a new Metallica song."


Classy.
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Psyche_Dome
Metal newbie

Joined: Fri Aug 04, 2017 3:31 am
Posts: 135
PostPosted: Fri Aug 25, 2017 6:39 am 
 

MikeyC wrote:
From the Hardwired...to Self-Destruct review:

dheacock wrote:
Now for a higher level song like "Moth Into Flame". Released as the second single on September 26th, I specifically remember getting in trouble at school for hearing this the day it was released for having my phone out and then defiantly saying to my teacher, "Fuck off, I'm listening to a new Metallica song."


Classy.


While I completely disagree with the praise for the album because I think it's dreadful, I really enjoyed the review and that specific story. It reminded of a time, 25 years ago, when our music teacher asked the class to bring in a piece of music we listen to, and 4-5 of us were metal heads... I brought in RTL and played 'Fight Fire With Fire'.

It's not a refined review, though, you can grasp the sense of youthful enthusiasm and 'fuck off!' attitude, which is great!

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Twisted_Psychology
Metal freak

Joined: Sat May 16, 2009 8:22 pm
Posts: 4746
Location: United States
PostPosted: Fri Aug 25, 2017 8:23 am 
 

I remember being sixteen too. It sucked.
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flexodus
Metalhead

Joined: Sun May 10, 2009 4:16 am
Posts: 2307
PostPosted: Fri Aug 25, 2017 4:23 pm 
 

I swear that TBDM review is transported straight from 2005
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Felix 1666
Metal newbie

Joined: Sun Jan 12, 2014 5:19 pm
Posts: 74
Location: Germany
PostPosted: Fri Sep 01, 2017 4:18 pm 
 

@ BastardHead

... thank you very much! Great to read such a statement (although I think that felix headbanger is not that bad).

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Grave_Wyrm
Metal Sloth

Joined: Sun Mar 04, 2012 5:55 pm
Posts: 3917
Location: Across the croggy plain
PostPosted: Sun Sep 03, 2017 4:59 pm 
 

Speaking of whom, commendments to Felix 1666 for his review of 'The Merciless.'
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Grave_Wyrm
Metal Sloth

Joined: Sun Mar 04, 2012 5:55 pm
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Location: Across the croggy plain
PostPosted: Tue Sep 05, 2017 1:25 pm 
 

From 2013, but new to me: iamntbatman's Numinous review gets a (confusing) piece of their narcissistic mind -- https://www.numinous.info/

"Being somewhat fed up with the lack of results, the years that followed were again spent focusing on other activities, which produced concrete results for the Master."

Emotional wimps, zealous for the Lord of Unnameable Grimness.
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colin040
Metal freak

Joined: Sat Dec 08, 2007 6:00 pm
Posts: 5682
Location: Netherlands
PostPosted: Wed Sep 06, 2017 4:04 am 
 

...That new Candlemass review is poor. How the hell did that get accepted?! :confused:

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Twisted_Psychology
Metal freak

Joined: Sat May 16, 2009 8:22 pm
Posts: 4746
Location: United States
PostPosted: Wed Sep 06, 2017 9:58 am 
 

colin040 wrote:
...That new Candlemass review is poor. How the hell did that get accepted?! :confused:


I don't think it's bad so much as needing to be fleshed out more.
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Andreas_Hansen
Metal newbie

Joined: Sun Feb 16, 2014 11:44 am
Posts: 316
Location: Anywhere in the Galaxy
PostPosted: Wed Sep 06, 2017 11:39 am 
 

colin040 wrote:
...That new Candlemass review is poor. How the hell did that get accepted?! :confused:


It maybe lacks some details but I think it summarizes pretty well the album and that line about guitar scale shows that the reviewer knows pretty well the album. I liked it.

By the way, the Borealis one is pretty aggressive :lol: Never listened to the album but it seems that it sucks a lot.
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Five_Nails
Metalhead

Joined: Fri Dec 14, 2007 1:34 pm
Posts: 551
PostPosted: Wed Sep 06, 2017 1:24 pm 
 

Grave_Wyrm wrote:
From 2013, but new to me: iamntbatman's Numinous review gets a (confusing) piece of their narcissistic mind -- https://www.numinous.info/

"Being somewhat fed up with the lack of results, the years that followed were again spent focusing on other activities, which produced concrete results for the Master."

Emotional wimps, zealous for the Lord of Unnameable Grimness.


I can't imagine just how thin skinned a band has to be to put out something like this. What happened to the glory of " the Divine author of all evil"? I guess evil is okay with rape, murder, burning the world and being worshiped by a couple of kids. But don't say anything mean to him, it'll make him cry a single black tear and cut himself in his room to Story of the Year.

It's obvious that the "reviewer's" life's purpose is not the service of the Lord because he doesn't even understand the simple things like that it's always better to have bands that have serious, sincere aim to bring about harm and evil to this world than the millions of bands that preach the exact opposite. I guess it's black metal that has taught him that it's only music (and even that in superficial sense only) that counts and nothing else.

I wonder just how hard that band is cringing looking at that four years later. That review is the only bit of criticism they have ever received and they completely fell to pieces, then had to go public about just how hurt their feelings were and no one cared about or noticed the little publicity controversy they tried to stir up.

It wasn't even a harsh review. iamntbatman was really just saying that the persona was falling flat, the music had some moments but could use some work, and the band sends mixed signals that would make it tough to nail down an audience. I mean, they're fair criticisms if a band wants an audience, but somehow the band doesn't want an audience while they try to sell an album to. . . walls then?

They say: Some have wondered why Numinous doesn't have a “myspace” site, a site which integral theme is friendship. We have nothing to do with such human and humane concept and having a site that uses such irrelevant terminology would give a very wrong picture of this band and its message.

Good thing that album is only "worship" and not "music" or else they'd be pretty disappointed that it wasn't selling, especially after sending mixed signals like the 'human and humane concepts' of packaging, recording, and advertising a CD.
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cursedeternity
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Sun Sep 03, 2017 9:22 am
Posts: 2
PostPosted: Wed Sep 06, 2017 3:27 pm 
 

Five_Nails wrote:
Grave_Wyrm wrote:
From 2013, but new to me: iamntbatman's Numinous review gets a (confusing) piece of their narcissistic mind -- https://www.numinous.info/

"Being somewhat fed up with the lack of results, the years that followed were again spent focusing on other activities, which produced concrete results for the Master."

Emotional wimps, zealous for the Lord of Unnameable Grimness.


I can't imagine just how thin skinned a band has to be to put out something like this. What happened to the glory of " the Divine author of all evil"? I guess evil is okay with rape, murder, burning the world and being worshiped by a couple of kids. But don't say anything mean to him, it'll make him cry a single black tear and cut himself in his room to Story of the Year.

It's obvious that the "reviewer's" life's purpose is not the service of the Lord because he doesn't even understand the simple things like that it's always better to have bands that have serious, sincere aim to bring about harm and evil to this world than the millions of bands that preach the exact opposite. I guess it's black metal that has taught him that it's only music (and even that in superficial sense only) that counts and nothing else.

I wonder just how hard that band is cringing looking at that four years later. That review is the only bit of criticism they have ever received and they completely fell to pieces, then had to go public about just how hurt their feelings were and no one cared about or noticed the little publicity controversy they tried to stir up.

It wasn't even a harsh review. iamntbatman was really just saying that the persona was falling flat, the music had some moments but could use some work, and the band sends mixed signals that would make it tough to nail down an audience. I mean, they're fair criticisms if a band wants an audience, but somehow the band doesn't want an audience while they try to sell an album to. . . walls then?

They say: Some have wondered why Numinous doesn't have a “myspace” site, a site which integral theme is friendship. We have nothing to do with such human and humane concept and having a site that uses such irrelevant terminology would give a very wrong picture of this band and its message.

Good thing that album is only "worship" and not "music" or else they'd be pretty disappointed that it wasn't selling, especially after sending mixed signals like the 'human and humane concepts' of packaging, recording, and advertising a CD.


It's quite obvious that both you don't know that members personally or indeed what they mean and meant with those two statements respectively. Are you sure now that the "lack of results" refers to the review you are talking about or to anything purely music related so to speak? It didn't occur to you that it most likely refers to seeing how many people have adopted their religion? This has nothing to do with crying for attention or emotionalism. Then again can one expect an atheist or your average anti-religious metalhead to grasp such deeper matters? There is nothing wrong with being fed up with the lack of results in this context or in any context for that matter if you are serious about what you do. This has of course nothing to do with "falling to pieces" or "hurt feelings". It's quite ludicrious to use such phraseology.

No man, except for you two perhaps, tolerates insult and responses accordingly. "Make him cry"? Hahaha! Do you know the criminal record of the members? Obviously not. Latest (publicly known) incident: someone said to them "what's bugging you" and was stabbed nearly to death. One can wonder what would happen to someone saying something "mean" to them. Probably that someone would be dismembered.

And I'm not even going to go into how seriously you misunderstood that "myspace statement"...

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Xlxlx
Argentinian Asado Supremacy

Joined: Sat Dec 24, 2011 2:16 pm
Posts: 7976
Location: Argentina
PostPosted: Wed Sep 06, 2017 7:03 pm 
 

Hello, lame Numinous guy.
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Five_Nails
Metalhead

Joined: Fri Dec 14, 2007 1:34 pm
Posts: 551
PostPosted: Wed Sep 06, 2017 8:37 pm 
 

Now if that isn't comedy, I don't know what is.

Good show cursedeternity, kudos to a legendary first post. How's that new album coming along?

I'm not going to consider that thinly veiled threat as anything dangerous, but you should know that the review in question wasn't insulting at all. Maybe you took it a bit too far. Especially considering the worst he says about the album is that it's 'monotonous' and the vocalist needs practice, even though there are 'moments of near-greatness'.

If you still take a slight bit of constructive criticism for a 2011 album so seriously in 2017 and you end up down a path to talking about an arrest for attempted murder as an accolade while imagining dismembering people for offhand comments about a reaction to such an already ridiculous reaction, maybe you need to take a look at your priorities. If someone even sarcastically says something like "what's bugging you" and your first reaction is to start stabbing, you need help pronto. This world isn't as bad as it seems and the desire to make it bad, ninety percent of the time is nothing inherent in a personality, that is a learned thing and a cry for help. The other ten percent are inside for good.

If the second is your chosen path, then don't hurt someone else to be on it. That's not an accolade. It's pathetic.

Maybe you can stay with an uncle or someone who will make you get up early and clear some brush, chop some wood, do some work, and get some structure in your life. Then you can see just how "evil" and "horrible" life can be. Satan doesn't make you do anything, and maybe that's a bit of a problem right now, especially considering the fact that you just made this account a few days ago (just in time for a school semester to start) and immediately harped on this discussion once it happened.

Also, the whole "we", "them". There are no named members for the band, but to look like you're part of a group that you're not, that doesn't help anything. You seek the support of others while shunning others. Doesn't that hurt a bit that it's all in your own head while you try to pretend like you have the support of. . . dare I say it. . . friends? No, they're "allies" like life is a Total War game.

I hope all this is only a persona that you're trying to establish because it's hard for me to imagine that any of this can be the actual thoughts of a real person. If they are. Seek help, and also a bit of education on what defines an "all powerful evil deity". Spoiler, they're usually created by the people pushing religions to begin with.

One last bit and I know there have been too many edits to this post to begin with.

If you've been lucky enough to stagnate throughout at least four years before "confronting" anymore criticism on a random website independent of your own, haven't you had it pretty good? I can't imagine being the same person I was four years ago and to be able to push the same persona from four years before as a sacrosanct aspect of my life. Having that mindset four years later would mean that there was no loss, confusion, depression, or anything harmful in my life to give any perspective to a modern misery. It would also mean that there was no compassion, companionship, learning, or fulfillment to make it worth keeping my life going. If you've been stuck in that mindset for that long without re-examining anything about yourself, there is a problem not in the world but in your own mind that needs dealing with. I mean how can you justify sitting around for years at a time just to leap at the chance to "defend" yourself when it has been YEARS since that review and your response was even noticed on this message board?

Get help!

If you're just playing Devil's Advocate, then disregard. But, if you're really that guy. What the fuck?
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cursedeternity
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Sun Sep 03, 2017 9:22 am
Posts: 2
PostPosted: Wed Sep 06, 2017 9:45 pm 
 

You can't be that stupid can you? No, as much as you would like to fool yourselves with such rather strained attempts to ridicule the band, I'm not a member of the band. I am and have been in contact with the members though. First post, yes, I don't usually take part in these discussions but when I saw something so idiotic and what can only be called misinformation, I had to correct it.

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MawBTS
Metalhead

Joined: Sat Aug 30, 2014 2:16 am
Posts: 813
PostPosted: Thu Sep 07, 2017 4:22 am 
 

I read gasmask_colostomy's recent review of a Buckethead Pike, and it seems like an exemplary case of "text doesn't match the rating".

He gives it a 95%, but by my count a full third of the text is criticism and complaints.

Quote:
So it seems as if a review for ol' Pike 51 is somewhat a rite of passage for Bucketbots on The Metal Archives, since the torch has been passed on by stainedclass2112's enthusiasm in the Virgin Reviews challenge a year or so ago, then CHAIRTHROWER, a new Bucket disciple (and seemingly also a fan of caps lock) who recently gave Claymation Courtyard the highest honours, supplying another 95% score. Far be it from me to piss on anyone's parade, but my review is going to contain a short grumble, a quick passage about video games, and then definitely some musical comments too. So if you want to get straight to it, I suggest you skip a paragraph or two.

The grumble is this: who really has the patience to listen to anyone, however skilled they are, play guitar solos for half an hour? This isn't a motherfucking Eric Clapton benefit show and I can't frankly be bothered to listen carefully for the whole of a Pike to see what Bucky is doing with his left hand. That 'Disintegration Mirrors' is full 14 minutes of shredding and noodling and wailing didn't sit well with me at first and I got hold of this album more because of its reputation and the instinctive brilliance of the title track than actual appreciation of the style. What I would have much preferred (and would still much prefer if Brian ever happens to venture to this part of the internet) is a more even mix of solos, riffs, melodies, and dynamics, which don't tend to happen when King B gets excited, leading to sometimes interminable experiences where the solo fades into pointlessness by virtue of its length.

However, I shouldn't really complain that much because 'Claymation Courtyard' is five minutes of demonstrable proof that Bucky can do exactly what I've just asked for and with outstanding ingenuity not only in the playing techniques (I'm not really a sucker for those) but also in the effect of those notes. That first song is one of the very first I ever heard from Buckethead and convinced me beyond a doubt that what he does with his guitar is not merely for show or as mere music, but because he has a vision and carries it out with each note and phase of his playing. Why else would he so deliberately reject to include lyrics and vocals on almost every one of 300 releases? The music simply sounds like what it's meant to be and B doesn't need to tell anyone what they should be feeling or hearing. In the case of 'Claymation Courtyard' that feeling is relaxed and nostalgic like an internal walk back to the street you lived as a child, where each few steps sparks off associations and you think, 'That's where I was born', 'That's where I learned to ride a bike', and 'That was my grandmother's house'. The shading of the riffs and especially the soft melodies are exquisite, but it's the dreamy drift of the whole thing that makes this one essential Bucky song.

The "dreamy drift" pervades most other areas of the Pike too, though 'Disintegration Mirrors' is, as I've mentioned, the big centrepiece and a problematically long solo. During some listens I do get tired of this, though that's disregarding the fact that Bucketboy doesn't just noodle aimlessly, in fact stringing mini-movements together into a long solo that continually refreshes itself and reaches for higher and higher resonance by repeating (or mirroring, as the title wants us to note) the same few notes at the beginning of a new section, increasing the emotional effect around the 7-8 minute mark. As I've come to realize over repeated listens, the rest of the song is more a trope of absolute freedom and release than aimless wanking. I always get the feeling with Bucky's best pieces, particularly the longer ones (the recent 'Glacier' from Pike 263 comes to mind) that his playing is like a bird swooping and soaring without restriction, manifesting a total release of stress and restraint that is wonderful to behold. The reason I mentioned video games earlier is because that's how I used to feel as a kid playing Pokémon (occasionally still do), where the normal restrictions and pressures of the world melted away and I was free. Because Claymation Courtyard is such a great representation of that freedom (and is consistently so, unlike some other Pikes), it gives the same sort of spacious quality as playing Pokémon had for me and can really chill me out without sacrificing excitement.

In that regard, 'Chainsaw Slide', the shortest piece here, is a mild let-down owing to its more melancholic nature, though it effectively bridges the gap between the more upbeat and slightly wearing lead guitar freakouts on either side. The chuggy riffing is not too bad, though it would be doing discredit to 'Disintegration Mirrors' if I didn't say that the hands down best riff of the album comes at its opening. 'Eerie Canal' is a rather less emotional closer, accelerating both the pace of soloing and percussion at points to produce a blunter, heavier affair, though this is interspersed with reflective, almost sombre moments that remind me of Katatonia at their late '90s peak, even if they would never have considered (or been capable of executing) the exuberant guitar in other places. As an aside, 'Eerie Canal' is not a fitting title for the piece, which is disappointing knowing Big B's skill in this area.

Therefore, it must be said that - despite my reservations about the style - Claymation Courtyard is one of the finest Pikes Buckethead has ever produced and, more than that, probably one of the finest albums of guitar music ever released. The emotional potency of 'Disintegration Mirrors' and the title track is the biggest factor in this statement, though that's not to discount the enjoyment of the other pieces and the excellent skill shown in playing and composing them. Claymation Courtyard is proof that if you don't call yourself a Bucketbot you're kind of silly.


Three other reviews gave 95%, and it feels like he gave it that score to as to not "upset the balance". I don't know. I agree with most of what he says.

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Five_Nails
Metalhead

Joined: Fri Dec 14, 2007 1:34 pm
Posts: 551
PostPosted: Thu Sep 07, 2017 5:08 am 
 

I'd say different. The parts you put in red are criticisms, yes. Yet he describes in the white pieces just how genuine the music seems to him and elucidates on how each aspect works within the "tropes" that he sees. I'd say that it's a well-rounded criticism where this reviewer knows just where Buckethead plays a solo too long or a trope too far but also comes to the realization, through a genuine and thoughtful series of listens, to an understanding of just how it works for that reviewer's taste.

I don't think that you're really understanding what the reviewer is saying by reddening the contextual parts that you want to use to disabuse his views. By simply boiling down criticisms to a percentage of content rather than reading the "why" he puts for "what" he wrote, you're trying to quantify what is a linguistic enthusiasm for music when emotions, at the end of the day, aren't usually based on denominational factorials. Sure, those criticisms can make it look like the review is lambasting the release, especially if you're not actually reading what is written. But not even one sentence later in many cases the reviewer shows growth and an emotional movement that further understands the musical content.

It seems to me that you never read further from each red part of the review. You're the one who is picking and choosing criticisms that are actually brought through a journey from the red space and through the white text to really show how the music has grown on this reviewer/listener and makes it really work for that person. Sure, that reviewer had his reservations, yet his reservations were overcome by a couple more listens to see some genius in the content.

I'm sure we've all experienced that with different albums here and there when reviewing a band, and far be it from me to say that you or the reviewer is right about your own taste.

It just seems like you're literally 'cherry-red' picking what you think doesn't deserve the score despite the journey to the destination that this reviewer is imparting on the reader throughout his review.

Also, if that reviewer does't want to upset the balance in the score, maybe it's on purpose? There's a reason why the review isn't just the number at the top of it and sometimes a number can be specific, others a ball park. It's the content of the review that matters most, which is why people take their time to write a review rather than just leaving a list of numbers next to each band.
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Last edited by Five_Nails on Fri Sep 08, 2017 11:14 am, edited 2 times in total.
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Five_Nails
Metalhead

Joined: Fri Dec 14, 2007 1:34 pm
Posts: 551
PostPosted: Thu Sep 07, 2017 6:56 am 
 

cursedeternity wrote:
You can't be that stupid can you? No, as much as you would like to fool yourselves with such rather strained attempts to ridicule the band, I'm not a member of the band. I am and have been in contact with the members though. First post, yes, I don't usually take part in these discussions but when I saw something so idiotic and what can only be called misinformation, I had to correct it.


Here's a couple of numbers Googled for the crisis lines in Finland. (09)-4135-0501 or 040-503-2199. Please, just don't hurt anyone else and if you're feeling overwhelmed you can always call them. They don't judge, just please, don't hurt anyone else.

Anymore on this, just see the PM and let's talk there.
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I'm Nobody! Who are you?
Are you - Nobody - too?
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Grave_Wyrm
Metal Sloth

Joined: Sun Mar 04, 2012 5:55 pm
Posts: 3917
Location: Across the croggy plain
PostPosted: Thu Sep 07, 2017 12:36 pm 
 

cursedeternity wrote:
Then again can one expect an atheist or your average anti-religious metalhead to grasp such deeper matters?

Not really. It's probably hopeless. Likely best to ignore it and focus on useful things. The Master will understand.
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Smoking_Gnu
Chicago Favorite

Joined: Sat Mar 15, 2008 11:22 pm
Posts: 4630
Location: United States
PostPosted: Thu Sep 07, 2017 4:41 pm 
 

cursedeternity wrote:
Latest (publicly known) incident: someone said to them "what's bugging you" and was stabbed nearly to death.


I'll take "Things that didn't happen" for $500, Alex!

Also, I love how myspace is "too human" but a .info site isn't. :lol:
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Acidgobblin wrote:
In the end- in life- aren't we all sort of wearing corpse-paint in front of a crowd of strangers? Or is that the most pathetic metal-themed analogy ever uttered? I cannot tell, but I feel a bit ashamed now.

NEW Valcove album: https://valcove.bandcamp.com/album/forge

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thrashmaniac87
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Feb 21, 2006 6:58 pm
Posts: 620
Location: United States
PostPosted: Thu Sep 07, 2017 6:52 pm 
 

I love the publicly known part. As if there's some even shadier shit that's going down.
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untappd: patrick_g

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Smoking_Gnu
Chicago Favorite

Joined: Sat Mar 15, 2008 11:22 pm
Posts: 4630
Location: United States
PostPosted: Thu Sep 07, 2017 9:06 pm 
 

Dude, The Master is into some seriously shady shit. You, an average anti-religious metalhead wouldn't even know.
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Acidgobblin wrote:
In the end- in life- aren't we all sort of wearing corpse-paint in front of a crowd of strangers? Or is that the most pathetic metal-themed analogy ever uttered? I cannot tell, but I feel a bit ashamed now.

NEW Valcove album: https://valcove.bandcamp.com/album/forge

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Metal_Detector
Reticular Modular Unit

Joined: Fri Oct 08, 2010 9:15 pm
Posts: 2082
Location: Forgotten in space
PostPosted: Fri Sep 08, 2017 12:38 am 
 

Shout out to GOOFAM's Adagio review; great example of exploring a band's history to describe an album's sound in a meaningful way. I always enjoyed his write-ups (and appreciated the somewhat rare Royal Hunt/John West love), but it seems his pieces are getting even better.
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Five_Nails
Metalhead

Joined: Fri Dec 14, 2007 1:34 pm
Posts: 551
PostPosted: Fri Sep 08, 2017 11:27 am 
 

Loved CHAIRTHROWER's review of Car Door Dick Smash. It looks like he had as much fun writing it as I had reading it.
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I'm Nobody! Who are you?
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TheStormIRide
Certified Poser

Joined: Fri Jan 20, 2006 6:45 pm
Posts: 1826
Location: Brazildonesia
PostPosted: Fri Sep 08, 2017 11:37 am 
 

Metal_Detector wrote:
(and appreciated the somewhat rare Royal Hunt/John West love)


I always feel like an outcast because I like John West era Royal Hunt so much more than any other Royal Hunt. I can't even listen to the band with West on vocals anymore. It's a good thing The Mission is so good.
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POZERKILLER wrote:
damn I think ive already heard everything

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Five_Nails
Metalhead

Joined: Fri Dec 14, 2007 1:34 pm
Posts: 551
PostPosted: Fri Sep 08, 2017 10:58 pm 
 

Back on September 17, 2012, I posted my last review on Metal-Archives and did not expect to come back, hone my craft, or even be breathing this long after that review.

That was until four years and three days later, countless changes, and some much needed doses of reality and priority.

When I came back in 2016, I was still unsure of what my goal was with writing these reviews. Really, all I wanted to do was to say how much I appreciated the music that keeps me going and have an outlet to exercise my best skill in life. Coming back from those four years of not having written anything here, it was like coming home in a way.

Eventually, around November or December as I got deeper into the swing of reviewing, even noticed by a blogger who had connections to some of the best music I have heard in a long time, I set myself a goal.

200 reviews on the Encyclopedia Metallum by the end of 2017 seemed like a mountain of work, a necessary goal, and would help me grow as a writer and a person. Plus, why not set a healthy goal that isn't too lofty in the grand scheme of things?

Since coming back in 2016, I have now gotten 81 new reviews posted on MA and tonight, as I hit my 27th birthday, I just sent in my 200th review.

Thank you MA and everyone who makes it happen for always being there, even if I'm not all there. It feels great to set out a goal, stick with it, and accomplish it with plenty of time to spare.

So, raise a glass, raise hell, and here's to the next 200!
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TheStormIRide
Certified Poser

Joined: Fri Jan 20, 2006 6:45 pm
Posts: 1826
Location: Brazildonesia
PostPosted: Sat Sep 09, 2017 10:49 am 
 

Congrats on 200! It's a nice milestone to hit. Keep writing and keep striving to make improvements to your style. Here I am, 24 away from 900 now. I was active writing in 2006, a brief stint in 2009, and came back full force in 2012. It's good to see more people sticking around, instead of the bursts of writers that seem to come in droves and then fade from existence.
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POZERKILLER wrote:
damn I think ive already heard everything

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PorcupineOfDoom
Metal newbie

Joined: Mon Jun 09, 2014 2:52 pm
Posts: 161
Location: Scotland
PostPosted: Sat Sep 09, 2017 4:34 pm 
 

Congrats Five_Nails, that's a pretty big milestone to have hit within a year of returning. I've been on an unintentional hiatus since the start of the year (barring the review challenge), but your post has given me a sort of inspiration to write something. Maybe I'll get something done this week. A couple of weeks late to mark three years since my first, but when was I ever on time? :p

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Andreas_Hansen
Metal newbie

Joined: Sun Feb 16, 2014 11:44 am
Posts: 316
Location: Anywhere in the Galaxy
PostPosted: Sun Sep 10, 2017 10:08 am 
 

Congrats Five_Nails and happy birthday! That's quite a lovely thing to reach this goal on a particular day.

As for me, I've written only three reviews (on this site) but you're the one who launched me with your pieces of advice on my first review, which was the Tankard's one. :) Since this day at each new review I rethink about your pieces of advice and it helps me a lot. Continue to write and to help newbie reviewers like me!!
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BastardHead wrote:
Two things that will instantly derail any forum thread without fail: 1) Discussing how tall you are, and 2) the origin of your username.

Tunes of Steel - Reviews and writing stuff website. Latest: Paradox - Pangea
Metalhertz, French Youtube radio channel

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Wilytank
Not a Flying Toy

Joined: Thu Jul 30, 2009 7:21 am
Posts: 5267
Location: United States
PostPosted: Mon Sep 11, 2017 9:40 am 
 

Well then...

https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... xoc/404575

'"Grindcore" has been the go-to for amateur bands trying to act tuff for a prospective audience since the 80s, and it has not aged well. Really, anything with "core" as a suffix is a good enough reason for me to steer clear; it's pretty consistent in flagging hack musicians attempting to cash in on dimwitted teens and young adults who are happy to be fed garbage if they can, like the band, pretend that they're "brutal".'

Lol what?
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KrigareTjovane wrote:
BenjaminC81 wrote:
I've got quite an extensive lesbian vampire movie collection at home

I've decided this is the only kind of collection in the world that matters.

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TheStormIRide
Certified Poser

Joined: Fri Jan 20, 2006 6:45 pm
Posts: 1826
Location: Brazildonesia
PostPosted: Mon Sep 11, 2017 12:48 pm 
 

Wilytank wrote:
Well then...

https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... xoc/404575

'"Grindcore" has been the go-to for amateur bands trying to act tuff for a prospective audience since the 80s, and it has not aged well. Really, anything with "core" as a suffix is a good enough reason for me to steer clear; it's pretty consistent in flagging hack musicians attempting to cash in on dimwitted teens and young adults who are happy to be fed garbage if they can, like the band, pretend that they're "brutal".'

Lol what?



I liked when he called them "edgemeisters." How, uhm, edgy of him.
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POZERKILLER wrote:
damn I think ive already heard everything

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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 9275
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Mon Sep 11, 2017 1:47 pm 
 

You guys take the bait. Every, single, time.
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nuclearskull wrote:
Leave a steaming, stinking Rotting Repulsive Rotting Corpse = LIVE YOUNG - DIE FREE and move on to the NEXT form of yourself....or just be a fat Wal-Mart Mcdonalds pc of shit what do I give a fuck what you do.

Last.fm

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RapeTheDead
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Mar 16, 2010 10:48 pm
Posts: 798
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Mon Sep 11, 2017 8:03 pm 
 

oh look, another "this sucks because metalheads are dumb" opinion. I mean he does like Opeth so at least he's probably just your garden-variety pretentious metalhead as opposed to an ANUS dude or something.
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Nolan_B wrote:
Hating ICP fans is a form of classist snobbery


BANDS I FUCK WITH:
SKYLESS AEONS - Death? Prog? Melodic? iunno
CRYOPATHY - suicidal mosh music
HELL IS OTHER PEOPLE - post-black sad bois

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gasmask_colostomy
Metalhead

Joined: Thu May 27, 2010 5:38 am
Posts: 716
Location: Behind the wall of fire
PostPosted: Tue Sep 12, 2017 9:38 am 
 

MawBTS wrote:
I read gasmask_colostomy's recent review of a Buckethead Pike, and it seems like an exemplary case of "text doesn't match the rating".

He gives it a 95%, but by my count a full third of the text is criticism and complaints.

Three other reviews gave 95%, and it feels like he gave it that score to as to not "upset the balance". I don't know. I agree with most of what he says.


Hi there, MawBTS! While it's flattering to think that someone has read my review with as much interest as you have, it doesn't take much of your imagination to know that I'm going to disagree with you.

Of course, if I gave this album a 95%, I must think it's very good (I think that puts it in my top 25 releases ever) but there sure are a lot of red marks in your examination of the review. There are two reasons for that: one of them FiveNails has already pointed out sufficiently, which is that I wished to show how my initial scepticism and grumpiness was brushed aside by the sheer artfulness and emotion of the music, hence needing to juxtapose my original feelings with my current opinion.

The second reason is quite a different one: you're a smart person and saw that there were already other scores of 95% for that album, so that means that most of the positive things about this album will already have been said. Therefore, unless I want my review to be redundant for readers, that means I need to talk about different aspects of the release, as I hope I was able to, as well as assuaging the doubts of people who think that so many high scores can only have been given by crazed, short-sighted fans. Thus, I totally agree with the other writers, but also need to add something to their views.

You got me?

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Dembo
Dumbo

Joined: Fri Apr 21, 2006 9:58 am
Posts: 1541
PostPosted: Sun Sep 17, 2017 10:46 am 
 

https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... zger/69807
This review's fourth paragraph struck me as a clear case of the phenomenon of when people are rather reviewing what other's have said about an album, than the album itself:

"My final point on why I do not like this album is because people actually claim this is great doom metal."

"the fact that they themselves and their fans claim this is doom astounds me. Had this album been presented to me as 'This is Grand Magus going in a different direction' maybe I would have...No, I still would have hated it because I hate this kind of stuff, but I wouldn't have been so harsh on it."

So the harshness in his review of an album is at least partially based on what others have said about the album.

Diamhea wrote:
You guys take the bait. Every, single, time.

Why would moderators accept reviews they see as baits, rather than only accepting mature efforts? Not that you necessarily accepted that particular review, but it may be a relevant question. And any non-profit (non-traffic-obsessed) site of this sort would benefit in quality from respecting mature efforts by rejecting immature ones. And one thing that I'm sure most people would file under immature is baits.

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