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The Official Review Discussion Thread
https://forum.metal-archives.com/viewtopic.php?f=4&t=7444
Page 322 of 397

Author:  TheWaltzer [ Wed Nov 22, 2017 2:51 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread

Wilytank wrote:
"Of Terror and the Supernatural by Temple of Void is miles ahead of It's midnight in Neverland and I can't get my dick out of this unicorn; Volume 8 by Nightwish in both the amount of heaviness and lack of keyboards."


Thanks for the sig :D

Author:  gasmask_colostomy [ Wed Nov 22, 2017 9:28 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread

Wilytank wrote:
"Of Terror and the Supernatural by Temple of Void is miles ahead of It's midnight in Neverland and I can't get my dick out of this unicorn; Volume 8 by Nightwish in both the amount of heaviness and lack of keyboards."


All joking aside, if the new Nightwish album is called that, I'm buying it no matter who is on vocals!

Author:  Lich Coldheart [ Wed Nov 22, 2017 1:09 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread

WR95 wrote:
Lich Coldheart wrote:
So... after numerous attempts at bashing Master of Puppets someone decided to downplay Rust in Peace instead. :annoyed: Is Reign in Blood next? Or Spreading the Disease? Bonded by Blood?

They did it again, but with a deplorable score of 15%, worse than Falconsbane's one in 11 years. I'm crestfallen.

I have to admit I'm genuinely not butthurt this time. Him saying he's a Megadeth fanboy and yet dislikes Rust in Peace is a clear sign of trolling and trying-too-hard to me. I believe a lot of people reading the review would reach the same conclusion so there's not much harm done except for insignificantly lowering the overall score of an album that's known worldwide among metalheads for it's astounding musicianship, diversity and inspiration. There might be some people out there that like thrash and genuinely dislike Rust in Peace but none of them has managed to come forth so far and put out a review that expresses their arguments clearly and thoroughly.

Author:  Psyche_Dome [ Wed Nov 22, 2017 6:46 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread

After seeing the the reviews for Poser Holocaust I just had to check it out; it sounded like a bunch of retards found and drank a crate of Coca-Cola, then found some electric instruments to play.

Thrash_Lord's first review for this album states:

Quote:
However this album does have it’s flaws. Like I said earlier, the riffs lack variation and seem to go on forever; it’s like a fat man running on a treadmill for hours and hours until he questions himself on whether he should stop or keep going. I don’t really mind Dr. Fukk's vocals because I see them as a parody of the legendary thrash vocalists such as Steve Souza and Bobby Blitz, but the vocal delivery do have moments of being overdone to the point to where they can get really annoying. Those two things I pointed out are the main problems with Thrash or Die


If that's the case why is the reviewer giving the album the highest mark?

Author:  RapeTheDead [ Wed Nov 22, 2017 6:50 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread

I came here to post pretty much the exact same thing Psyche_Dome did. I'm not even mad that it's one of those "let's counterbalance the low percentage" sort of reviews, whatever, but your numerical rating's gotta represent what you think of the album to the closest extent possible. 100s are not god damn pity candy!

It's also curiously timed, given the discussion of Thrash or Die on the previous page two weeks ago...

Author:  hells_unicorn [ Wed Nov 22, 2017 7:44 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread

It's possible that Thrash_Lord is a fan of the band in question and somehow stumbled upon this site while doing a search given that the recent activity both on the forum and with a couple new reviews up affected the search engine results, though it looks a bit more like an attempt at getting attention given the perfect score, which doesn't really jive with the content of the review (the qualifications involved makes it sound like it should be scored in the low 90s or high 80s).

I heard the album in question a few years back, didn't find it to be anything to write home about, but was perplexed at all the hate it was getting, which I'm assuming had to do with how the band was promoting the album. If I ever elected to review it, I'd probably score it somewhere in the low 60s, along with a lot of other albums I find passable but would probably not listen to again.

Author:  SweetLeaf95 [ Wed Nov 22, 2017 10:22 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread

I'm amazed that his "better than 90% of black metal" comment on a site like this didn't cause an uproar.

Author:  hells_unicorn [ Wed Nov 22, 2017 10:37 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread

SweetLeaf95 wrote:
I'm amazed that his "better than 90% of black metal" comment on a site like this didn't cause an uproar.


It probably would have a couple years back, but I think now things are not quite as "trve" in these parts as they used to be, I think my old buddy droneriot has been on extended hiatus for several months too. It's a dumb-ass thing to say, but I don't think there are enough people that would care to raise much of a fuss. I do agree with him on the part about Poser Holocaust being better than Roots, but that was still a pretty random thing to throw in to the review.

Author:  gasmask_colostomy [ Sat Nov 25, 2017 10:38 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread

I'm really impressed with CHAIRTHROWER's last few reviews, especially the one for Witchery just posted here: https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... WER/374625

He's managing to put his clever wordplay side by side with more thorough analysis and really get to the bottom of releases in a fun way. Plus, his seal of approval is pretty funny: if the album's good and heavy, there's always the mention of chairs being broken.

Author:  ~Guest 417011 [ Sun Nov 26, 2017 6:22 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread

gasmask_colostomy wrote:
I'm really impressed with CHAIRTHROWER's last few reviews, especially the one for Witchery just posted here: https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... WER/374625

He's managing to put his clever wordplay side by side with more thorough analysis and really get to the bottom of releases in a fun way. Plus, his seal of approval is pretty funny: if the album's good and heavy, there's always the mention of chairs being broken.


I've been lurking on this sub-forum a little bit lately to try to get tips for my reviews. I noticed this as well and have to give CHAIRTHROWER (caps for extra aggression) a +1. He uses gimmicks in his articles too, glad I'm not alone in that!

Author:  Twisted_Psychology [ Sun Nov 26, 2017 6:18 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread

Gotta say that the most recent reviews for the new Queensryche reviews are decently written but boy do those scores seem really exaggerated when you put them alongside each other.

Author:  Jimmy Calhoun [ Mon Nov 27, 2017 9:06 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread

Not sure this is the right thread, but I submitted a review of Burning Caskets' CD about 3 days ago and it's still listed as "pending." The only reason I ask is because this is much more time than I've ever waited for an acceptance/rejection previously. If it's simply an issue of too many reviews to read at the moment, then I certainly understand.

Author:  Diamhea [ Mon Nov 27, 2017 9:57 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread

If you've never had to wait more than ~3 days, consider yourself extremely lucky. Some of the entries in the queue are weeks old.

Author:  Jimmy Calhoun [ Mon Nov 27, 2017 10:44 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread

Got it, thanks!

Author:  Liquid_Braino [ Fri Dec 01, 2017 5:35 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread

DwightSchrute wrote:
gasmask_colostomy wrote:
I've been lurking on this sub-forum a little bit lately to try to get tips for my reviews. I noticed this as well and have to give CHAIRTHROWER (caps for extra aggression) a +1. He uses gimmicks in his articles too, glad I'm not alone in that!

I like his new Night Viper review, lots of enthusiasm for a great band. On the downside, that was to be one of my "virgins" next week...oh well.

Author:  gasmask_colostomy [ Sat Dec 02, 2017 1:10 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread

Liquid_Braino wrote:
gasmask_colostomy wrote:
CHAIRTHROWER

I like his new Night Viper review, lots of enthusiasm for a great band. On the downside, that was to be one of my "virgins" next week...oh well.


Feel your pain man, it was on my list too. I spoke to him about that album last month and hinted that there would be a surprise review of something during the VRC. Maybe I should have said what... There's nothing worse than seeing a prime young album defiled just before the week starts.

Author:  SweetLeaf95 [ Sat Dec 02, 2017 6:13 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread

https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... Hun/419712

This review is atrocious, and no it's not just because it's a low score for an album I really like. Literally all it says is "this part is ok, this part's ok, but this is bad quality and this is bad quality. Overall the album is bad quality". There is zero musical description as to why it's bad quality, it says that their covers weren't good but doesn't say why, and really just touches on how "this band couldn't decide what sound they wanted". What do you guys think?

Edit: After clicking the profile, I almost wonder if this was a troll account to trigger people like myself, seeing it's brand new and has all "N/A". If that's the case, well played, and you got me.

Author:  WR95 [ Sat Dec 02, 2017 11:23 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread

SweetLeaf95 wrote:
https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Deep_Purple/Shades_of_Deep_Purple/475159/ZoltanTheHun/419712

This review is atrocious, and no it's not just because it's a low score for an album I really like. Literally all it says is "this part is ok, this part's ok, but this is bad quality and this is bad quality. Overall the album is bad quality". There is zero musical description as to why it's bad quality, it says that their covers weren't good but doesn't say why, and really just touches on how "this band couldn't decide what sound they wanted". What do you guys think?

Absolutely agree. Several of them are on my blacklist, like those 2 who were pissed off on Rust In Peace (fullmetalraincoat, TheArchivist). And the infamous HamburgerBoy who is an active user of the forum but was only encouraged to rant to Seventh Son, instead of talking about albums which he likes since he is sooo underground and true, who doesn't like "Flower Metal" ¬¬

Author:  SweetLeaf95 [ Sun Dec 03, 2017 1:28 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread

Lol, flower metal? I don't think I saw this.

Author:  WR95 [ Sun Dec 03, 2017 1:49 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread

He doesn't say it in his review. But in the forum he said that Seventh Son used to be his favorite record. Maybe a pseudo trve friend did brainwash him and humiliated him for having liked that Maiden album. I had a classmate who made fun of me for saying that I like Youthanasia, but this record is still among my top 3 Megadeth. I don't change my tastes for comments by pseudo trves assholes.

I can imagine that guy saying - "My favorite Maiden album is Seventh Son". - His friend: Yuck, you like that flower metal release? - HamburgerBoy thinking: Oh my gosh, "flower metal", a new word, I would repeat this sentence to other metalheads.

Author:  SweetLeaf95 [ Sun Dec 03, 2017 1:34 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread

Oh, yeah I gotcha, I absolutely hate that mindset, and could definitely see that happening.

Author:  Twisted_Psychology [ Mon Dec 04, 2017 9:27 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread

If Seventh Son is flower metal, then I guess I have a new favorite subgenre.

Author:  hells_unicorn [ Mon Dec 04, 2017 12:41 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread

I don't know who originally coined the derogatory "flower metal" term, but Ultraboris was one of the key figures on this site that popularized it and associated it with any type of European power metal band that had both speed metal elements and keyboards. A lot of reviewers during the mid to late 2000s were trying to imitate his over-the-top comedy routine, and I wasn't immune to occasionally borrowing from his formula when hating on certain groove metal albums that I didn't like. However, I always found his dismissive pseudo-purist thrasher routine extremely tiresome at times and woefully limiting. He wasn't so much a "trve douche bag" as he was a wannabe old school thrash guy who began suffering from heavy metal grandpa syndrome. Pretty much everybody who uses that stupid "flower metal" term comes off that way to me, especially when lobbing it at albums like Seventh Son and Somewhere In Time.

Author:  Empyreal [ Mon Dec 04, 2017 1:00 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread

Most people who use 'flower metal' as a serious term don't bother really listening to a lot of those bands and just dismiss them based on the lack of traditional 80s-style riffs at the forefront of the music. Which is fine, that's their taste - but I just think they're missing the quality sometimes. Oh well.

Author:  CHAIRTHROWER [ Tue Dec 05, 2017 2:40 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread

Wow, gasmask_colostomy and hell's unicorn are tearing a helluva swath in the VRC already!

Oh, and thanks for the kind werdz regarding the Night Vype...let's see how many "normies" we can convert to metal with "Never Win"...haha!

Stormride: Love the Midnight/ of Death & Ecstasy review from last month; it instantly made me think of Boulder. a long forgotten monster of a band from my (addled) youth -- lo and behold it's a (manic) J. Walters project. The drum beat on the 3rd track is too good for words...
Expect a cozy-upper on that one before the year's up!
p.s. should tackle the SS view tomorrow or Wed...(NA is encroaching on my MA!)

chairchomp

Author:  TheStormIRide [ Tue Dec 05, 2017 8:21 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread

CHAIRTHROWER wrote:
Stormride: Love the Midnight/ of Death & Ecstasy review from last month; it instantly made me think of Boulder. a long forgotten monster of a band from my (addled) youth -- lo and behold it's a (manic) J. Walters project. The drum beat on the 3rd track is too good for words...
Expect a cozy-upper on that one before the year's up!


Thanks man! That's definitely one of my favorites so far this year. I love how Athenar finally decided to stretch a few songs past the five minute mark.

Author:  Psyche_Dome [ Tue Dec 05, 2017 6:12 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread

Kluseba ends his Morbid Angel review with, 'This isn't death metal but dead metal.' Hahaha

Mixed reviews thus far for the new album.

Author:  Derigin [ Tue Dec 05, 2017 7:35 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread

I think I just accepted the shortest acceptable review ever.

(Please let's not make this a challenge, guys. :P)

Author:  tomcat_ha [ Tue Dec 05, 2017 8:16 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread

i dare say that it still somehow got more content than quite a few longer reviews out there

Author:  dystopia4 [ Tue Dec 05, 2017 11:51 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread

Psyche_Dome wrote:
Kluseba ends his Morbid Angel review with, 'This isn't death metal but dead metal.' Hahaha

Don't see how that's funny or clever at all and he's one of the worst prolific reviewers out there.

Author:  Psyche_Dome [ Wed Dec 06, 2017 3:33 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread

dystopia4 wrote:
Psyche_Dome wrote:
Kluseba ends his Morbid Angel review with, 'This isn't death metal but dead metal.' Hahaha

Don't see how that's funny or clever at all and he's one of the worst prolific reviewers out there.


Sensitivity

Author:  Psyche_Dome [ Wed Dec 06, 2017 3:35 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread

Derigin wrote:
I think I just accepted the shortest acceptable review ever.

(Please let's not make this a challenge, guys. :P)


Does Exactly What it Says on the Tin!

Author:  SweetLeaf95 [ Wed Dec 06, 2017 11:58 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread

I definitely agree that he's one of the worst, but I don't entirely disagree with his opinion. I thought Kingdoms Disdained was extremely average and it didn't really do much for me.

Author:  dystopia4 [ Wed Dec 06, 2017 5:05 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread

Rest assured, I wasn't defending the album. It's the epitome of redundancy.

Author:  Wilytank [ Wed Dec 06, 2017 7:58 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread

As far as negative reviews for that album go, The Crazy Old School Music Fan puts it into better words simply by virtue of not being an Illud apologist.

Also, dystopia, CAUSTIC BROTHERS!!! That album's been one I've been eyeing up for a while for the challenge even though I was sure someone else would hit it beforehand. There's still something satisfying about drawing first blood.

Author:  dystopia4 [ Wed Dec 06, 2017 9:12 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread

Yeah man, was actually surprised that no one had reviewed it before the challenge. I know sludge isn't particularly popular around these parts, but they're one of the more noteworthy bands in the style right now. Anyway, good shit.

Author:  Psyche_Dome [ Thu Dec 07, 2017 6:46 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread

Kritik comes out panning Poser Holocaust's Thrash or Die while also giving it some merit for being 'funny'. What's 'funny' is that he promoted his older Anthrax review; I read that one, as well. What's worse–'90s Anthrax or '90s Metallica?

There's also a Weapon review which I initially thought was the band from the NWOBHM, but it's not; it's a band who looked like a cross dressing, Star Ship, tribute act.

Author:  TheStormIRide [ Sat Dec 09, 2017 9:17 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread

Thanks for doing all three Secret Satan choices CHAIRTHROWER! It's good to finally see reviews for some of those local bands. I still have some time, so I'll try to get in one of your other choices before time is out.

Author:  MikeyC [ Sat Dec 09, 2017 9:26 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread

BastardHead: Cool review of Ogarya's Ubiquitous. I like that album, too, and you hit the nail on the head that it doesn't have any obvious standout tracks, but works well as a cohesive unit.

Author:  Psyche_Dome [ Sun Dec 10, 2017 7:08 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread

To quote hells_unicorn's Weapon review: 'it was Weapon, a band that looks like the post-Grace Slick era of Starship'

WAY TO GO HELLS_UNICORN!!! https://youtu.be/DjtJ4AZuKlE

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