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droneriot
incelgender

Joined: Sat Aug 28, 2004 1:17 pm
Posts: 9068
Location: Spahn Ranch
PostPosted: Fri Dec 14, 2018 2:18 pm 
 

Actually it has never exactky been a universally loved album.
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EzraBlumenfeld
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue Oct 24, 2017 12:50 pm
Posts: 285
Location: Land of No Return
PostPosted: Fri Dec 14, 2018 4:09 pm 
 

Sure, but that seems a tad low. I can see why someone might dislike it, but that's excessive.
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MisanthropicEvil wrote:
This album reeled me in with it's eye-catching album cover but vomited a whole load of musical diarrhea in my face as soon as I started listening! I would not even use this album to wipe my butt.


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droneriot
incelgender

Joined: Sat Aug 28, 2004 1:17 pm
Posts: 9068
Location: Spahn Ranch
PostPosted: Fri Dec 14, 2018 5:03 pm 
 

For Human666 it's of course all about how well-liked the album is by many, my previous posts was referring to people being strongly put off by the alien elements added into the death metal sound by Swanö, but that's of course been done on several albums prior to Crimson. So if there's hate/strong dislike to be expressed about the fruity synth+awkward clean vocals thing that was overtaking the band's sound, it's more honest to start earlier in the discography. But Human666 has to go for the most popular, gets more attention.

In other words what I'm trying to say is that I would rate Crimson similarly, but it's because I couldn't stand Edge of Sanity's changing sound since early in their career, and if I had complaints to put in a review I'd start at a point in their discography where the complaints start. Otherwise it would be like complaining about Entombed turning death 'n' roll reviewing Morning Star when really they turned death 'n' roll almost a decade and several albums earlier.
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CHAIRTHROWER
Methed-burnt rogue babelfish

Joined: Sun Dec 20, 2015 7:10 pm
Posts: 507
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Sat Dec 15, 2018 12:44 am 
 

Nice ice-breaking review by Thalassic, for that Paul Chain_Alkahest release I'd never heard before but am presently gleaning now (that peek-a-boo tube!)...
Considering it's his very first write-up - and a real "whizz-banger" at that - I'm impressed and clamoring for more from the lad...although chances are, he won't glean this post until the 20s or so, as most are, for a spell anyhow, mercifully unaware and oblivious to this here razzle-dazzlin' reviews forum!

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Acrobat
Eric Olthwaite

Joined: Fri Jul 06, 2007 8:53 am
Posts: 8338
Location: York, North Yorkshire
PostPosted: Sat Dec 15, 2018 4:36 am 
 

EzraBlumenfeld wrote:
Who the hell would give Crimson an 11% rating? Human666, that's who.


Eh, at least he's using 3rd person. It's readable! Also, EoS do need some reviews that are less 'fanboy' in nature.
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CHAIRTHROWER
Methed-burnt rogue babelfish

Joined: Sun Dec 20, 2015 7:10 pm
Posts: 507
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Tue Dec 18, 2018 2:59 pm 
 

Nice job, Metantoine, for the Luger review..."NWOTHM" at piew! tube surely hails your sagacious sleaze wheeze...

Dig, with spade, shovel and gleeful merriment the following:

"It’s a world where the gimp from Pulp Fiction is having a lot of fun and where you can see a young Mel Gibson roaming around.

The band owes a lot to Motorhead and Pentagram, it’s dangerous, uncompromising and highly sexual. The record smells like it was conceived during an orgy in a secret Montréal basement."

Whooo-eeeee!

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Metantoine
Big Beautiful Famgot

Joined: Sat Jun 21, 2008 5:00 pm
Posts: 11775
Location: Montréal
PostPosted: Tue Dec 18, 2018 3:54 pm 
 

Thanks Chair, I can always count on you to be a good cheerleader!

Good job so far, guys. Ezra has been writing good stuff!

Also big thumbs down to Zelkiiro for being a massive weeb as usual!
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Derigin
The Mountain Man

Joined: Sun Jan 01, 2006 6:25 am
Posts: 5504
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Tue Dec 18, 2018 4:01 pm 
 

Metantoine wrote:
Thanks Chair, I can always count on you to be a good cheerleader!

*cough*

Chairleader
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EzraBlumenfeld
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue Oct 24, 2017 12:50 pm
Posts: 285
Location: Land of No Return
PostPosted: Tue Dec 18, 2018 4:57 pm 
 

Aww, thanks! I've kinda rushing them so I didn't know how good they'd turn out, but I plan on getting a couple more in before the end of the day.
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MisanthropicEvil wrote:
This album reeled me in with it's eye-catching album cover but vomited a whole load of musical diarrhea in my face as soon as I started listening! I would not even use this album to wipe my butt.


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gasmask_colostomy
Metalhead

Joined: Thu May 27, 2010 5:38 am
Posts: 717
Location: Behind the wall of fire
PostPosted: Tue Dec 18, 2018 8:30 pm 
 

Derigin wrote:
Metantoine wrote:
Thanks Chair, I can always count on you to be a good cheerleader!

*cough*

Chairleader

This.

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CHAIRTHROWER
Methed-burnt rogue babelfish

Joined: Sun Dec 20, 2015 7:10 pm
Posts: 507
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Tue Dec 18, 2018 11:13 pm 
 

Haha...Derigin took the word out of my maw, as that's what precisely jumped to mind upon seeing "cheerleader"! (Rah-rah-rah-RAAAAAH!)...
yes, it's certainly an interesting, perhaps even a smidge(n) eclectic Dimhea (RIP) challenge, and it's nice and refreshing to see a wide variety of writers taking part, notably some who've yet to duly shine in the VRC...as they are now!

Oh, Wow! I also just noticed I went from metal newbie here, to "chairleader"...swell as taco bell in hell!

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Zelkiiro
Pounding the world with a fish of steel

Joined: Sat Apr 18, 2009 5:30 pm
Posts: 6465
Location: Pennsylvania
PostPosted: Wed Dec 19, 2018 3:11 am 
 

Metantoine wrote:
Also big thumbs down to Zelkiiro for being a massive weeb as usual!

Must have a radically different definition of "weeb" than the rest of the internet if you're using it to describe someone who takes an entire month to watch a 12-episode series that came out a year ago.
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EzraBlumenfeld
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue Oct 24, 2017 12:50 pm
Posts: 285
Location: Land of No Return
PostPosted: Wed Dec 19, 2018 12:35 pm 
 

Good write-up of that Piece of Mind album by Tahu. I realized after I failed their audition for new vocalist a month ago that the music wasn't even very good in the first place. I don't understand the excessive references to breweries, though...
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MisanthropicEvil wrote:
This album reeled me in with it's eye-catching album cover but vomited a whole load of musical diarrhea in my face as soon as I started listening! I would not even use this album to wipe my butt.


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Listen to my band's new album!

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TheStormIRide
Certified Poser

Joined: Fri Jan 20, 2006 6:45 pm
Posts: 1826
Location: Brazildonesia
PostPosted: Wed Dec 19, 2018 1:50 pm 
 

I quite enjoyed both of Colonel Parabellum's reviews that were published today. Nice work!
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CHAIRTHROWER
Methed-burnt rogue babelfish

Joined: Sun Dec 20, 2015 7:10 pm
Posts: 507
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Wed Dec 19, 2018 5:27 pm 
 

Eh?!? Is Scarlet by Mary's Blood truly the best album by the best band in the World, or something along those debilitating-ly flummoxing albeit amusing lines?!!?

As they say in la Belle Province: Simonaque! (or/ou Tabarnaque!)

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Metantoine
Big Beautiful Famgot

Joined: Sat Jun 21, 2008 5:00 pm
Posts: 11775
Location: Montréal
PostPosted: Thu Dec 20, 2018 1:11 am 
 

Sweetleaf, I was checking your reviews and while I can live with the fact that you really like Ghost even if it gives me heartburns, I just can't tolerate you liking Volbeat. It's too much to handle.
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Metantoine, what does "fam" stand for, "familiar"? Like a witch's familiar?!...Have you been playing d & D again?...

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mjollnir
Metalhead

Joined: Sat Jul 17, 2004 4:14 pm
Posts: 1843
Location: Versailles, PA
PostPosted: Thu Dec 20, 2018 1:34 am 
 

Metantoine wrote:
Sweetleaf, I was checking your reviews and while I can live with the fact that you really like Ghost even if it gives heartburns, I just can't tolerate you liking Volbeat. It's too much to handle.

:lol: :lol:
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meshigene
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue Jul 26, 2016 4:43 pm
Posts: 92
Location: neverwhere
PostPosted: Thu Dec 20, 2018 7:38 am 
 

massive kudos to Gas for the Obsessed, Longing for Dawn and Spiritus Mortis reviews and to dystopia4 for pretty much every review he's written in the last few days, especially the ones for Thou, all the other sludge and Gevurah. disregarding the inevitable but thankfully small opinion discrepancy, I enjoyed reading them all a lot and it's always really awesome to see the music I like get some reviewer attention.

on a less positive note, yesterday's Venom review by Demiror_Mortur is so vague and general it's painful. with a few right changes in the right places, it can be applied to pretty much any new album by pretty much any old band, no matter the album's content and quality. and in case of Venom, you might not even need to change anything, haha. it feels like not just fanboy raving, but more like he hasn't even listened to the album, and of course, that's not how you write a good review.
one of those times I'm more inclined to agree with kluseba, actually. though despite claims of Venom "returning to their roots", I personally find Storm the Gates listless, weak and decrepit, even compared to lots of newer bands who ape this sound, let alone Venom themselves in their salad days, with a production that sounds distinctly modern and "raw-ified" instead of genuinely raw. the muffled "recorded in the water through a stone wall" vocals don't help either, and neither does the awful, compressed and gratingly unchanging trash can drum tone
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SweetLeaf95
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Dec 16, 2014 1:19 am
Posts: 829
Location: United States
PostPosted: Thu Dec 20, 2018 9:13 am 
 

Metantoine wrote:
Sweetleaf, I was checking your reviews and while I can live with the fact that you really like Ghost even if it gives me heartburns, I just can't tolerate you liking Volbeat. It's too much to handle.


:lol: :lol: I feel like we've been through this before, haha.

When I go into those bands, I don't go in with a mindset expecting something overly heavy or anything. I think Poulsen has a great singing voice and they're good with incorporating hooks. Idk man, I like them. They put on a hell of a live show too.
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Zelkiiro
Pounding the world with a fish of steel

Joined: Sat Apr 18, 2009 5:30 pm
Posts: 6465
Location: Pennsylvania
PostPosted: Thu Dec 20, 2018 2:50 pm 
 

CHAIRTHROWER wrote:
Eh?!? Is Scarlet by Mary's Blood truly the best album by the best band in the World, or something along those debilitating-ly flummoxing albeit amusing lines?!!?

Your punctuation is excessive, and I'm guessing you're just being a cunt, but no, their best material is their first and second albums, which are solidly in the 97-98% range.
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tahu157
Metalhead

Joined: Mon Jul 21, 2014 10:22 pm
Posts: 600
Location: United States
PostPosted: Thu Dec 20, 2018 3:08 pm 
 

EzraBlumenfeld wrote:
Good write-up of that Piece of Mind album by Tahu. I realized after I failed their audition for new vocalist a month ago that the music wasn't even very good in the first place. I don't understand the excessive references to breweries, though...

My friends and I have a sort of running joke where we trade songs and describe them to each other like beers. E.g a death metal song might be a "dark brew." I was thinking of making that a running gimmick for my reviews too, where I describe albums like they're some kind of drink and the band is a brewery. This was my test run but I'm not sure I'll stick with it.

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Metantoine
Big Beautiful Famgot

Joined: Sat Jun 21, 2008 5:00 pm
Posts: 11775
Location: Montréal
PostPosted: Thu Dec 20, 2018 8:26 pm 
 

Reviewing best of compilations is the most lazy and worthless thing you can do in a challenge like the one we're doing right now. Yes, I'm aiming this at Kluseba.
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Metantoine, what does "fam" stand for, "familiar"? Like a witch's familiar?!...Have you been playing d & D again?...

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Thumbman
The Shellfish

Joined: Mon Nov 16, 2009 6:47 pm
Posts: 4435
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Thu Dec 20, 2018 8:38 pm 
 

Best of compilations for the most obvious bands on MA, no less.
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CHAIRTHROWER
Methed-burnt rogue babelfish

Joined: Sun Dec 20, 2015 7:10 pm
Posts: 507
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Thu Dec 20, 2018 10:50 pm 
 

Didn't realize people could get so touchy but "cunt" is the nicest thing I heard all day. Thanx!

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kluseba
Making Metal Archives Reviews Great Again!

Joined: Tue Sep 21, 2010 2:36 am
Posts: 706
Location: Germany
PostPosted: Thu Dec 20, 2018 11:08 pm 
 

Quote:
Reviewing best of compilations is the most lazy and worthless thing you can do in a challenge like the one we're doing right now. Yes, I'm aiming this at Kluseba.

I was expecting you to write something like this, simply because you always do that XD

I was actually just chatting with Kritik and told him that I was expecting you to get mad about single / compilation reviews. Bullseye!

I'm glad I can count on your consistency, my dear French-Canadian grumpy bear.

But you better watch me (You're welcome for the Trudeau reference). I have submitted thirty-one reviews so far and only five are compilations. If you continue to repeat yourself, I will start reviewing ONLY compilations next year! I will call it the Metantoine Review Challenge! XD

Just kidding, man!

PS: I hope you don't feel like the guy in the picture below...
Image
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Metantoine
Big Beautiful Famgot

Joined: Sat Jun 21, 2008 5:00 pm
Posts: 11775
Location: Montréal
PostPosted: Thu Dec 20, 2018 11:30 pm 
 

The only thing you can intimidate is your own credibility, man. I don't care about reviewing singles if the reviews are good, reviewing best of compilations is dishonest and doesn't respect the spirit of a review challenge in my opinion. If you want to boost your score by reviewing Def Leppard's inane best of albums, be my guest, it's lame but you've proven time and time again that you don't care about anything.

The Metantoine Review Challenge already exists, it's me reviewing actual interesting virgin albums worth reviewing and I do it all the time.
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CHAIRTHROWER wrote:
Metantoine, what does "fam" stand for, "familiar"? Like a witch's familiar?!...Have you been playing d & D again?...

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Thumbman
The Shellfish

Joined: Mon Nov 16, 2009 6:47 pm
Posts: 4435
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Thu Dec 20, 2018 11:33 pm 
 

Man, Kluseba being all arrogant towards Tony like that is really rich. There's a reason you're well over 1000 reviews deep and still somehow not a scribe, dude.
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gasmask_colostomy
Metalhead

Joined: Thu May 27, 2010 5:38 am
Posts: 717
Location: Behind the wall of fire
PostPosted: Fri Dec 21, 2018 1:17 am 
 

CHAIRTHROWER wrote:
Didn't realize people could get so touchy but "cunt" is the nicest thing I heard all day. Thanx!

I assume that's a new slang term for "enthusiastic"...

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Five_Nails
Metalhead

Joined: Fri Dec 14, 2007 1:34 pm
Posts: 551
PostPosted: Fri Dec 21, 2018 1:33 am 
 

gasmask_colostomy wrote:
CHAIRTHROWER wrote:
Didn't realize people could get so touchy but "cunt" is the nicest thing I heard all day. Thanx!

I assume that's a new slang term for "enthusiastic"...


Looks to me like a West Coast Canadian francophone just became an honorary Aussie.
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SweetLeaf95
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Dec 16, 2014 1:19 am
Posts: 829
Location: United States
PostPosted: Fri Dec 21, 2018 1:45 am 
 

Metantoine wrote:
The Metantoine Review Challenge already exists, it's me reviewing actual interesting virgin albums worth reviewing and I do it all the time.


I think it should be strictly Volbeat and Ghost albums. ;)
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colin040
Metal freak

Joined: Sat Dec 08, 2007 6:00 pm
Posts: 5685
Location: Netherlands
PostPosted: Fri Dec 21, 2018 7:01 am 
 

Props for Empyreal reviewing that new Virgin Steele stuff. I thought of doing that at one point myself, but I couldn't bear hearing this crap again. :lol:

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TheStormIRide
Certified Poser

Joined: Fri Jan 20, 2006 6:45 pm
Posts: 1826
Location: Brazildonesia
PostPosted: Fri Dec 21, 2018 7:14 am 
 

colin040 wrote:
Props for Empyreal reviewing that new Virgin Steele stuff. I thought of doing that at one point myself, but I couldn't bear hearing this crap again. :lol:


I tried warning you, Colin. I tried...
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Empyreal
The Final Frontier

Joined: Thu Nov 30, 2006 6:58 pm
Posts: 26893
Location: Where the dead rule the night
PostPosted: Fri Dec 21, 2018 8:03 am 
 

I was going to do all of it, thinking foolishly it would be easier to sit through - I quickly realized what it really was.
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Five_Nails
Metalhead

Joined: Fri Dec 14, 2007 1:34 pm
Posts: 551
PostPosted: Fri Dec 21, 2018 9:14 am 
 

Looks like the server glitched and now review headings are misaligned. Some code monkey is going to lose a finger. :ah-ha:
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TheStormIRide
Certified Poser

Joined: Fri Jan 20, 2006 6:45 pm
Posts: 1826
Location: Brazildonesia
PostPosted: Fri Dec 21, 2018 11:51 am 
 

Empyreal wrote:
I was going to do all of it, thinking foolishly it would be easier to sit through - I quickly realized what it really was.


VS has pretty much been a joke for the past decade, but this one is a new low. Holy fucking shit, it’s hot garbage.
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Derigin
The Mountain Man

Joined: Sun Jan 01, 2006 6:25 am
Posts: 5504
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Fri Dec 21, 2018 11:54 am 
 

Five_Nails wrote:
Looks like the server glitched and now review headings are misaligned. Some code monkey is going to lose a finger. :ah-ha:

We ended up increasing the character limit for review titles, however, unfortunately it no longer works when centered and had to be left-aligned.

As an alternative to ensure that it didn't look like a total mess, we moved all the other small lines (author, version) to the right. We're open for suggestions here.
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Thumbman
The Shellfish

Joined: Mon Nov 16, 2009 6:47 pm
Posts: 4435
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Fri Dec 21, 2018 11:58 am 
 

This is just my opinion, but I'd much rather have the old character limits and the text centered than have the text aligned to the left like that. It looks terrible that way, there's a reason the vast majority of documents with a title section will have it centered.
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Empyreal
The Final Frontier

Joined: Thu Nov 30, 2006 6:58 pm
Posts: 26893
Location: Where the dead rule the night
PostPosted: Fri Dec 21, 2018 12:03 pm 
 

TheStormIRide wrote:
Empyreal wrote:
I was going to do all of it, thinking foolishly it would be easier to sit through - I quickly realized what it really was.


VS has pretty much been a joke for the past decade, but this one is a new low. Holy fucking shit, it’s hot garbage.


Even the terrible last album had one good song in "Lucifer's Hammer." This one couldn't even do that.
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OzzyApu
Metal freak

Joined: Fri Oct 13, 2006 12:11 am
Posts: 10382
Location: Seattle
PostPosted: Fri Dec 21, 2018 12:09 pm 
 

dystopia4 wrote:
This is just my opinion, but I'd much rather have the old character limits and the text centered than have the text aligned to the left like that. It looks terrible that way, there's a reason the vast majority of documents with a title section will have it centered.

Same. It looked best centered, and the title of the review didn't matter to me as much as what the writer had to say about the music.
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Derigin
The Mountain Man

Joined: Sun Jan 01, 2006 6:25 am
Posts: 5504
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Fri Dec 21, 2018 5:45 pm 
 

They've been returned back to normal.
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