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CHAIRTHROWER
Methed-burnt rogue babelfish

Joined: Sun Dec 20, 2015 7:10 pm
Posts: 426
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Thu Feb 14, 2019 4:25 pm 
 

Well, with a name like "pop(-)off", you can take such liberties...

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Vadara
Metal newbie

Joined: Wed Mar 16, 2016 11:14 pm
Posts: 150
Location: United States
PostPosted: Fri Feb 15, 2019 11:47 pm 
 

Wow, I'm amazed we get to review whole genres now! I eagerly await the Speed Metal review.

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Empyreal
The Final Frontier

Joined: Thu Nov 30, 2006 6:58 pm
Posts: 26635
Location: Where the dead rule the night
PostPosted: Sat Feb 16, 2019 11:49 am 
 

Vadara wrote:
Wow, I'm amazed we get to review whole genres now! I eagerly await the Speed Metal review.


Who is doing that?
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CHAIRTHROWER
Methed-burnt rogue babelfish

Joined: Sun Dec 20, 2015 7:10 pm
Posts: 426
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Sat Feb 16, 2019 4:09 pm 
 

GodOfMalice's GWAR_Hell-O! review is spot on, % and content wise, though I'd hoped to glean some jocosely ribald feedback on my preferred (innocuous) "gem", Americanized...(it got so BIG!, followed by a fandangli' honky tonk/hillbilly guitar solo which puts a grand smirk on my shnozz every time!)

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Vadara
Metal newbie

Joined: Wed Mar 16, 2016 11:14 pm
Posts: 150
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sat Feb 16, 2019 6:15 pm 
 

Empyreal wrote:
Vadara wrote:
Wow, I'm amazed we get to review whole genres now! I eagerly await the Speed Metal review.


Who is doing that?


Look at the name of the band being reviewed in a particular Feb. 15th review.

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flexodus
Metalhead

Joined: Sun May 10, 2009 4:16 am
Posts: 2302
PostPosted: Sat Feb 16, 2019 9:16 pm 
 

I love most all autothrall reviews but it’s pretty it’s hilariously misinformed/old man of him to be associating deathcore with guyliner and “metrosexuality”. Are My Chemical Romance and Avenged Sevenfold flagship deathcore bands now?
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droneriot
incelgender

Joined: Sat Aug 28, 2004 1:17 pm
Posts: 8657
Location: Spahn Ranch
PostPosted: Sat Feb 16, 2019 9:25 pm 
 

No but Bring Me the Horizon were.
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flexodus
Metalhead

Joined: Sun May 10, 2009 4:16 am
Posts: 2302
PostPosted: Sat Feb 16, 2019 10:04 pm 
 

Aye, they had the silly hair but they still never wore eyeliner. I suppose their fans would, you can still occasionally spot a kid with snakebites and big swoopy hair at those kinds of metalcore shows.
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Varth wrote:
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Cat III
Metal newbie

Joined: Fri Apr 21, 2017 11:44 am
Posts: 286
Location: United States
PostPosted: Tue Feb 19, 2019 4:28 am 
 

flexodus wrote:
I love most all autothrall reviews but it’s pretty it’s hilariously misinformed/old man of him to be associating deathcore with guyliner and “metrosexuality”.

It's especially strange considering that in numerous reviews, he's professed a love for goth rock. I'd take guylinered metrosexuals over the meatheads whose ear gauges have diameters in excess of their IQ that actually comprise deathcore's fanbase.
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SweetLeaf95
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Dec 16, 2014 1:19 am
Posts: 756
Location: United States
PostPosted: Fri Feb 22, 2019 3:42 pm 
 

Damn; I'm revisiting some Raven albums after a long time of not listening, and I just noticed that all 4 people who reviewed Wiped Out gave it 100%.
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droneriot
incelgender

Joined: Sat Aug 28, 2004 1:17 pm
Posts: 8657
Location: Spahn Ranch
PostPosted: Fri Feb 22, 2019 4:30 pm 
 

Think we can make a full week with only scribe reviews?
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EzraBlumenfeld
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue Oct 24, 2017 12:50 pm
Posts: 276
Location: Land of No Return
PostPosted: Fri Feb 22, 2019 4:35 pm 
 

Oh, that's what it is! I was wondering why my review was taking so unusually long to be approved.
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MisanthropicEvil wrote:
This album reeled me in with it's eye-catching album cover but vomited a whole load of musical diarrhea in my face as soon as I started listening! I would not even use this album to wipe my butt.


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BastardHead
Worse than the PMRC

Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2005 7:53 pm
Posts: 9192
Location: St. Charles, Illinois
PostPosted: Fri Feb 22, 2019 5:44 pm 
 

Ay dios mio. The mods who generally handle the review queue have all been pretty busy this week, including myself. I just took a look and there are 87 reviews in the queue :ugh:
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EzraBlumenfeld
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue Oct 24, 2017 12:50 pm
Posts: 276
Location: Land of No Return
PostPosted: Fri Feb 22, 2019 7:24 pm 
 

We all appreciate greatly the work the mods put into moderating the queue.
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MisanthropicEvil wrote:
This album reeled me in with it's eye-catching album cover but vomited a whole load of musical diarrhea in my face as soon as I started listening! I would not even use this album to wipe my butt.


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Derigin
The Mountain Man

Joined: Sun Jan 01, 2006 6:25 am
Posts: 5420
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Fri Feb 22, 2019 9:11 pm 
 

Yeah, I've been in Mexico on vacation for the last week. But today BH and I were able to put in a good effort on it, and we will finish it off tonight or tomorrow.
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bayern
Metal newbie

Joined: Wed Sep 13, 2006 10:11 pm
Posts: 81
Location: Bulgaria
PostPosted: Fri Feb 22, 2019 10:30 pm 
 

SweetLeaf95 wrote:
Damn; I'm revisiting some Raven albums after a long time of not listening, and I just noticed that all 4 people who reviewed Wiped Out gave it 100%.



Yeah, but I haven't... coming soon to the theatre next to you. Don't expect a crucifixion, though; I like this album.

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Empyreal
The Final Frontier

Joined: Thu Nov 30, 2006 6:58 pm
Posts: 26635
Location: Where the dead rule the night
PostPosted: Sat Feb 23, 2019 8:23 pm 
 

Wiped Out might not be a perfect 100% but I can see why people would rank it so highly. It's a furious, fleeting, beautifully wild piece of raw metal. Perhaps not the most carefully thought out work but it'd lose some of the charm if it had been.
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bayern
Metal newbie

Joined: Wed Sep 13, 2006 10:11 pm
Posts: 81
Location: Bulgaria
PostPosted: Sat Feb 23, 2019 10:59 pm 
 

Empyreal wrote:
Wiped Out might not be a perfect 100% but I can see why people would rank it so highly. It's a furious, fleeting, beautifully wild piece of raw metal. Perhaps not the most carefully thought out work but it'd lose some of the charm if it had been.



Exactly... yes.

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Acrobat
Eric Olthwaite

Joined: Fri Jul 06, 2007 8:53 am
Posts: 8267
Location: York, North Yorkshire
PostPosted: Sun Feb 24, 2019 7:35 am 
 

I've always much preferred the debut to the follow-up, it's just better written and more exciting. Not that Wiped Out is a slouch.
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BastardHead
Worse than the PMRC

Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2005 7:53 pm
Posts: 9192
Location: St. Charles, Illinois
PostPosted: Sun Feb 24, 2019 7:49 am 
 

Raven is one of those classic old school metal bands I never really gave a fair shake, though the one album I have heard was Wiped Out and I thought it was a fuckin' riot.
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Empyreal
The Final Frontier

Joined: Thu Nov 30, 2006 6:58 pm
Posts: 26635
Location: Where the dead rule the night
PostPosted: Sun Feb 24, 2019 10:00 am 
 

I only have the first two and yeah, the debut actually is the more maturely written album with more memorable songs, but there's something to the chaos of Wiped Out that makes it notable too. Need to get some other albums.
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Thy Shrine
Metal newbie

Joined: Fri Nov 11, 2016 11:37 pm
Posts: 234
Location: Golgotha
PostPosted: Mon Feb 25, 2019 2:34 pm 
 

Gotta love the lone review for this new Rotting Christ review basically explaining that we don't need these dumb old extreme metal bands, we need bands to evolve. They even began it with the immortal "y'know, I'm not usually a fan of x genre, but this is definitely the exception."

Good thing Rotting Christ is on a higher intellectual plane than all these dumb old black metal bands. They have made something comparable to the greatest classical conposers, bravo gentleman.

Evolve. NOW.
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EzraBlumenfeld
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue Oct 24, 2017 12:50 pm
Posts: 276
Location: Land of No Return
PostPosted: Mon Feb 25, 2019 2:37 pm 
 

Thy Shrine wrote:
Evolve. NOW.


Some bands do not need to or should not evolve. Some choose to even though it ends up sucking. We're all very familiar with some classic examples of this, I'm sure.
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MisanthropicEvil wrote:
This album reeled me in with it's eye-catching album cover but vomited a whole load of musical diarrhea in my face as soon as I started listening! I would not even use this album to wipe my butt.


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Thy Shrine
Metal newbie

Joined: Fri Nov 11, 2016 11:37 pm
Posts: 234
Location: Golgotha
PostPosted: Mon Feb 25, 2019 3:00 pm 
 

EzraBlumenfeld wrote:
Thy Shrine wrote:
Evolve. NOW.


Some bands do not need to or should not evolve. Some choose to even though it ends up sucking. We're all very familiar with some classic examples of this, I'm sure.


Yeah, I was just shitting on his whole "it's better than that fast, satanic, dumb stuff, because it's more evolved" attitude. Seems a little pretentious to me is all.
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droneriot
incelgender

Joined: Sat Aug 28, 2004 1:17 pm
Posts: 8657
Location: Spahn Ranch
PostPosted: Mon Feb 25, 2019 3:17 pm 
 

Thy Shrine wrote:
a little pretentious

Nah, it's total cringe.
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Derigin
The Mountain Man

Joined: Sun Jan 01, 2006 6:25 am
Posts: 5420
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Mon Feb 25, 2019 4:31 pm 
 

I'm back, so the queue should be cleared out more often now.
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droneriot
incelgender

Joined: Sat Aug 28, 2004 1:17 pm
Posts: 8657
Location: Spahn Ranch
PostPosted: Mon Feb 25, 2019 9:39 pm 
 

Hey Cat III, I just noticed, your last 0% review for Sloth officially put them past Metallica as band with the most 0% reviews.
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Cat III
Metal newbie

Joined: Fri Apr 21, 2017 11:44 am
Posts: 286
Location: United States
PostPosted: Mon Feb 25, 2019 11:42 pm 
 

Ha, I can finally say I've made a worthwhile contribution to this site. Considering their popularity, it's not surprising that Metallica used to have that dishonor, though it's still ridiculous (and I say this as someone who only considers Ride the Lightning as absolutely essential). Sloth is more deserving.
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hells_unicorn
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Feb 15, 2005 8:32 pm
Posts: 2330
Location: United States
PostPosted: Tue Feb 26, 2019 1:06 am 
 

Cat III wrote:
Ha, I can finally say I've made a worthwhile contribution to this site. Considering their popularity, it's not surprising that Metallica used to have that dishonor, though it's still ridiculous (and I say this as someone who only considers Ride the Lightning as absolutely essential). Sloth is more deserving.


lol I personally contributed 4 of those 0 scores to Metallica's old record, looked over which albums those were for and I can't say that I'd change them, though Sloth is definitely more worthy of the trashing they've received. I'd join in on that carnage if I could actually get through one of their albums.
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Ilwhyan
Metel fraek

Joined: Sat Sep 29, 2007 1:41 pm
Posts: 7981
Location: Lifeless shadows
PostPosted: Tue Feb 26, 2019 8:16 am 
 

Metallica has plenty of releases deserving of a 0%, although I don't think any of their main full-length albums qualify. Lulu might be there. I can't listen to it long enough to decide. Or maybe that's a good indicator?
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droneriot
incelgender

Joined: Sat Aug 28, 2004 1:17 pm
Posts: 8657
Location: Spahn Ranch
PostPosted: Tue Feb 26, 2019 1:10 pm 
 

Death Magnetic is the only one that qualifies for me, Hardwired... is a good deal better, St. Anger at least has a trashy charm to it and Lulu actually has lots of cool riffs and vocals, just none of them by any members of Metallica.
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SweetLeaf95
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Dec 16, 2014 1:19 am
Posts: 756
Location: United States
PostPosted: Tue Feb 26, 2019 2:03 pm 
 

I have yet to encounter any release at all that deserves 0%, let alone any Metallica release.
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droneriot
incelgender

Joined: Sat Aug 28, 2004 1:17 pm
Posts: 8657
Location: Spahn Ranch
PostPosted: Tue Feb 26, 2019 2:17 pm 
 

Time to get your hands on Goat Vulva's Capella demo, then.
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hells_unicorn
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Feb 15, 2005 8:32 pm
Posts: 2330
Location: United States
PostPosted: Tue Feb 26, 2019 3:03 pm 
 

Ilwhyan wrote:
Metallica has plenty of releases deserving of a 0%, although I don't think any of their main full-length albums qualify. Lulu might be there. I can't listen to it long enough to decide. Or maybe that's a good indicator?


The only full-length one that I gave a 0 was Lulu, it wasn't necessarily meant out of disrespect to Lou Reed, but anything positive that he may have contributed was totally cancelled out by the shit production (particularly Lars' drums) and a lack of coherent songwriting. The other stuff was a couple of singles and their Live Earth performance, which was so utterly atrocious that I swore I was listening to a 14 year old's garage band playing covers off The Black Album with canned crowd noise overdubbed.
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Last edited by hells_unicorn on Tue Feb 26, 2019 3:18 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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droneriot
incelgender

Joined: Sat Aug 28, 2004 1:17 pm
Posts: 8657
Location: Spahn Ranch
PostPosted: Tue Feb 26, 2019 3:15 pm 
 

I think the production fits Lou Reed's noise rock style pretty well. My main complaint is that James Hetfield is supposed to be the backing singer and he just tries to be frontman and upstage Lou Reed every time he opens his mouth for his backing vocals. I wish they had made James shut up entirely. Other than that I think the album is not bad at all. Yeah, Lars can't play drums, but since it's not thrash metal it's not a major problem.
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Twisted_Psychology
Metal freak

Joined: Sat May 16, 2009 8:22 pm
Posts: 4643
Location: United States
PostPosted: Tue Feb 26, 2019 7:51 pm 
 

Lulu is The Room of metal. I can’t give it a 0. It is beyond grades.
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hells_unicorn
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Feb 15, 2005 8:32 pm
Posts: 2330
Location: United States
PostPosted: Tue Feb 26, 2019 8:40 pm 
 

droneriot wrote:
I think the production fits Lou Reed's noise rock style pretty well. My main complaint is that James Hetfield is supposed to be the backing singer and he just tries to be frontman and upstage Lou Reed every time he opens his mouth for his backing vocals. I wish they had made James shut up entirely. Other than that I think the album is not bad at all. Yeah, Lars can't play drums, but since it's not thrash metal it's not a major problem.


I disagree, I've only had moderate exposure to Lou Reed's material, but something about the way the whole thing was mixed was just off to my ears. I do concur that James was on the album way too much for it to be a "Collaboration", it barely sounded like they were doing some duet gimmick. I think the big issue with Lars on the album wasn't so much him being off time (that was an issue on their latest album, and the primary reason I only gave it a score in the low 80s), it's just that his kit sounds like ass. It's not the trashcan sound of St. Anger, nor is it the banging on cardboard boxes sound of Death Magnetic, it just sounds like the drums weren't tuned and the cymbals were cracked. I may be alone on this one, but I think a piss poor drum sound can completely destroy an album, even if we're talking a low-fi demo.
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Five_Nails
Metalhead

Joined: Fri Dec 14, 2007 1:34 pm
Posts: 549
PostPosted: Tue Feb 26, 2019 9:06 pm 
 

That latest Venom review wasn't all too much to write home about but the moniker of the author got a good laugh out of me.

Thanks for that, LickMyOrangeBallsHalfling!
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BastardHead
Worse than the PMRC

Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2005 7:53 pm
Posts: 9192
Location: St. Charles, Illinois
PostPosted: Tue Feb 26, 2019 9:07 pm 
 

Metallica probably has plenty of 0% worthy releases if you operate on the autothrall operative of giving zeroes to worthless compilations or whatever (I just choose to ignore those but I support his crusade), but yeah I wouldn't give any of their "main" releases that score. Maybe Lulu, but I've never heard it in full and have no real desire to. I think Death Magnetic is a cynical retread of their old formula but I still think it has a few good songs, and St. Anger is endlessly fascinating in how much of a total trainwreck with basically every single thing being wrong from the biggest band on the planet.
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Smoking_Gnu
Chicago Favorite

Joined: Sat Mar 15, 2008 11:22 pm
Posts: 4555
Location: United States
PostPosted: Tue Feb 26, 2019 9:39 pm 
 

Twisted_Psychology wrote:
Lulu is The Room of metal. I can’t give it a 0. It is beyond grades.


Hah, I was actually about to post that myself - but then I got to thinking, what would be some other candidates for The Room of metal? I almost feel like Lulu couldn't count because it was made by professionals who clearly knew how to make music, they just made a series of really dumb or self-indulgent decisions. Tommy Wiseau's whole thing was that he has this bizarre, barely-functioning view of the world and filtered it through an equally barely-functional view of filmmaking, and I wonder which metal albums fall into those circumstances. Damien Storm maybe?
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