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gasmask_colostomy
Metalhead

Joined: Thu May 27, 2010 5:38 am
Posts: 569
Location: Behind the wall of fire
PostPosted: Thu Mar 07, 2019 12:11 am 
 

Really enjoying that the discussion about Megadeth v Metallica (obvs the former) is being interspersed with threats to flatulate into one's peers. It keeps things spicy round here.

Also, this almost got a snort out of me in the office:
CHAIRTHROWER wrote:
As a farting shot

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Five_Nails
Metalhead

Joined: Fri Dec 14, 2007 1:34 pm
Posts: 549
PostPosted: Thu Mar 07, 2019 1:02 am 
 

CHAIRTHROWER wrote:
As a farting shot,

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Le_P%C3%A9tomane

(Can you tell I'm worked up into a "frenzy"?...)


Boy do I have a history lesson for you: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roland_the_Farter

This guy was in Henry V's ancestor's court. This shitty wikipedia article places him as in Henry II's court but I could have sworn the book I read said that Henry V's great-grandfather was Edward III and it was that second man's court. Either way, I'm no scholar on English Kings but I'll trust the book written by an English scholar and my idiotic memory and say that it was probably Edward III's court, Henry V's great-grandfather's that this guy gassed up which places it well into the 1300s and far better documented than wikipedia would show.

This guy had such a powerful control of his constitution that he could was required to perform every Christmas in order to keep his estate. That performance was to leap, whistle, and fart at the same time. I imagine it as though sounding like a Wile-E-Cyote ACME bomb falling to the court's howls of laughter atop hefty servings of tasteless Yorkshire pudding.

Henry V was the guy who launched the campaign that ended in Agincourt, the battle that wiped out most of the French nobility in one battle and showed how arrogant the French were considering how they were fighting to defend their homeland and let their hefty regalia weigh them down in the muck as the English longbowmen whittled them down before making it to the massive melee that they finally fled from. Still, I couldn't stop laughing reading the page about this bit of Henry V's parentage and its popping privilege just before everyone left Caen to attempt to conquer what Henry V deemed as his god-given lands.

I read a book about this in 2016, 401 years after that battle, and finished the chapter about the battle on the day that the battle happened. It felt more special reading such a bloody end on the anniversary of that slaughter, and it wasn't nearly as one-sided as some make it seem. The numbers employed seem almost Enlightenment Age in spite of the fractious French falterings.

Either way, Gasmask's reply does cinch the bit but boy does Chairthrower show his Francophilia in choking out Le Petomane over Roland le Fartere, god forbid a Frenchie acknowledge an even earlier example of noble gasses from another 'stinking world'. Still, guys of this caliber were absolutely badass.
Youtube: show


As another annoying addendum, LePetomane was the surname of the governor in Blazing Saddles, played by the always amazing Mel Brooks. Coincidence or was that just another joke that I just totally missed?
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bayern
Metal newbie

Joined: Wed Sep 13, 2006 10:11 pm
Posts: 81
Location: Bulgaria
PostPosted: Thu Mar 07, 2019 3:23 am 
 

CHAIRTHROWER wrote:
Just read Bayern's ADX review for Terreurs et Executions and I must say, I enjoyed it immensely.
Watch out for that scurvy BENM... (touche!)


Chairs, I can see that you can't seem to get enough of this French connection be it writers or musicians or... here's two more la revue's coming for you. But careful there as there are la sorciere's involved...

By the way, I don't quite get this BENM abbreviation... do you mean "BMW"? Or "BENZ"?

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Twisted_Psychology
Metal freak

Joined: Sat May 16, 2009 8:22 pm
Posts: 4645
Location: United States
PostPosted: Thu Mar 07, 2019 8:54 am 
 

Now this is the quality content I come here for!
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SweetLeaf95
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Dec 16, 2014 1:19 am
Posts: 756
Location: United States
PostPosted: Thu Mar 07, 2019 9:20 am 
 

I'm just glad that I'm not alone in finding fart-related things funny at age 23.
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gasmask_colostomy
Metalhead

Joined: Thu May 27, 2010 5:38 am
Posts: 569
Location: Behind the wall of fire
PostPosted: Thu Mar 07, 2019 9:39 am 
 

SweetLeaf95 wrote:
I'm just glad that I'm not alone in finding fart-related things funny at age 23.

Mate, you're not in much danger at 23. I think there are some older guys with much redder faces than you here!

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BastardHead
Worse than the PMRC

Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2005 7:53 pm
Posts: 9192
Location: St. Charles, Illinois
PostPosted: Thu Mar 07, 2019 10:18 am 
 

Another fun game to play is to read the first sentence or two of one of Five Nails's posts and then skip to a random spot a few paragraphs down to see just where his train of thought led him.

Five_Nails wrote:
Boy do I have a history lesson for you: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roland_the_Farter


Five_Nails wrote:
I read a book about this in 2016, 401 years after that battle, and finished the chapter about the battle on the day that the battle happened. It felt more special reading such a bloody end on the anniversary of that slaughter, and it wasn't nearly as one-sided as some make it seem. The numbers employed seem almost Enlightenment Age in spite of the fractious French falterings.
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gasmask_colostomy
Metalhead

Joined: Thu May 27, 2010 5:38 am
Posts: 569
Location: Behind the wall of fire
PostPosted: Thu Mar 07, 2019 11:23 am 
 

BastardHead wrote:
Another fun game to play is to read the first sentence or two of one of Five Nails's posts and then skip to a random spot a few paragraphs down to see just where his train of thought led him.

That guy's fingers are connected to his brain, but both of them got disconnected from the computer somewhere between deciding which king it was and why the era was significant to us novices in farting.

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SweetLeaf95
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Dec 16, 2014 1:19 am
Posts: 756
Location: United States
PostPosted: Thu Mar 07, 2019 12:45 pm 
 

gasmask_colostomy wrote:
Mate, you're not in much danger at 23. I think there are some older guys with much redder faces than you here!


True. Plus, I just read (about half) of TrooperEd's Celtic Frost review and suddenly I don't feel so "in much danger".
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Five_Nails
Metalhead

Joined: Fri Dec 14, 2007 1:34 pm
Posts: 549
PostPosted: Thu Mar 07, 2019 1:02 pm 
 

gasmask_colostomy wrote:
BastardHead wrote:
Another fun game to play is to read the first sentence or two of one of Five Nails's posts and then skip to a random spot a few paragraphs down to see just where his train of thought led him.

That guy's fingers are connected to his brain, but both of them got disconnected from the computer somewhere between deciding which king it was and why the era was significant to us novices in farting.


Now I remember why I shouldn't come here drunk.
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Thiestru
Metalhead

Joined: Thu Oct 09, 2008 9:18 am
Posts: 2058
Location: United States
PostPosted: Thu Mar 07, 2019 1:44 pm 
 

Was TrooperEd having a stroke when he wrote the title for that Running Wild review? Fix the punctuation. Come on, this isn't hard.
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CHAIRTHROWER
Methed-burnt rogue babelfish

Joined: Sun Dec 20, 2015 7:10 pm
Posts: 426
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Thu Mar 07, 2019 2:24 pm 
 

Imagine the fun and glee my father and I would have pointing out the various "pet" stores back in our suburban stupor...(FartWorld, Multi-Fart, FartPlus, you know the drill!)...
(that and reading road signs backwards out-loud, not to mention the ole license plate as anagram game...good tymes!);

Back to drier matters...I've so many albums I'd like to write up (I could jolt down 50 probably in a minute or three alone) I thought of maybe just making a review raffle, by selecting a paper with a random title on it - Hunger Games stylez - once or twice a week or so (aim for 6-7 to a baker's dozen a month, about, in my book, a sound and steadily-paced, if not realistic, objective) and then truly giving 'er, whilst paying no mind to the luck of the draw...they'll "all" be nailed eventually, no-how (fantasy-speak, mind)...oh, and while studiously mixing in widely ranged/varied % selections, you dig? (as to avoid the, um, Ak*orp* syndrome...ho-hum)

Any one else game for such oracular MA reviewing?

Seriously, this just might be the ideal solution to an otherwise highly vexing conundrum (or corporate jigsore quandary, if you won't!)

(In other Guild perusing news, the adventurous may find pink ticklish ribbons and other hifalutin' and uproarious gewgaws herein):

https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... ream/29772)

Where's the purple beer clanging ewoj?!...

(Lest I forget, nice Samhedrin write from twisted_P...I like the sophomore so much more than the debut, and although I sense he/you went carefree buck on the score and that personally I feel it's more of a 94% - the 94% club you know? With Satan's Hallow...) I think, in this case, we can live with a lofty 95% (which reminds me, have y'all caught wind(z) of Van's Sandstorm and its Time to Strike debut? It's optional homework for those who...want some heavy metal homework!

[Snug albeit smug emo]

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DoomMetalAlchemist
Metalhead

Joined: Mon Dec 27, 2010 6:10 am
Posts: 1741
PostPosted: Thu Mar 07, 2019 6:38 pm 
 

Tanuki wrote:
I'm with Sweetleaf on that Kill 'Em All review being worthy of only an ellipses. Homie calls the album boring and over-long, then praises 'The Four Horsemen'; the longest, most indulgent song of the entire album with its 'Sweet Home Alabama'-ass bridge that lasts 7 hundred years. And on what mountains of madness could Phantom Lord ever be considered "bland"?


I have no idea what you mean by The Four Horseman's "Sweet Home Alabama-ass bridge" unless you meant "Free Bird-ass bridge," in that, like Free Bird, it goes on for a while.

SweetLeaf95 wrote:
I'm just glad that I'm not alone in finding fart-related things funny at age 23.


You must not be very familiar with Adult Swim, or its (maybe former by now?) popularity.

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EzraBlumenfeld
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue Oct 24, 2017 12:50 pm
Posts: 276
Location: Land of No Return
PostPosted: Thu Mar 07, 2019 7:07 pm 
 

DoomMetalAlchemist wrote:
I have no idea what you mean by The Four Horseman's "Sweet Home Alabama-ass bridge".


It's an unimportant part of the song, but there are some Southern Rock-like arpeggios that happen, I think right before the first solo.
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MisanthropicEvil wrote:
This album reeled me in with it's eye-catching album cover but vomited a whole load of musical diarrhea in my face as soon as I started listening! I would not even use this album to wipe my butt.


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Tanuki
Metal newbie

Joined: Fri Dec 09, 2016 12:36 pm
Posts: 336
Location: United Kingdom
PostPosted: Thu Mar 07, 2019 7:43 pm 
 

Yup, Ezra nailed it, it's after a few choruses and before the main solo. Dare to compare. It really doesn't fit the song at all, and Cliff's bass is the only thing holding it together. Dave talks about it here, saying it was intended as a joke, mocking Lars for wanting the song slowed down. But it ended up sticking, and the rest is history. A̶n̶d̶ ̶M̶e̶c̶h̶a̶n̶i̶x̶ ̶i̶s̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶b̶e̶t̶t̶e̶r̶ ̶s̶o̶n̶g̶.

Glad I'm not the only one who thinks 'Free Bird' is way too long, though :lol:

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Subrick
Metal freak

Joined: Sun Sep 12, 2010 7:27 pm
Posts: 8157
Location: United States
PostPosted: Thu Mar 07, 2019 8:17 pm 
 

New ultra stupid TrooperEd thing that he's said for real and means without irony: Saying that Into the Pandemonium "is practically Nightwish a good ten years beforehand".

I don't know just yet if this tops him calling the acoustic section in Black Horizons by Dissection a breakdown, and then saying that Dissection sounds like fucking Children of Bodom in the same paragraph, but this is pretty goddamn up there when it comes to his complete and utter wrongness on things.
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EzraBlumenfeld
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue Oct 24, 2017 12:50 pm
Posts: 276
Location: Land of No Return
PostPosted: Fri Mar 08, 2019 11:00 am 
 

What about when he said Bathory was power metal?
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MisanthropicEvil wrote:
This album reeled me in with it's eye-catching album cover but vomited a whole load of musical diarrhea in my face as soon as I started listening! I would not even use this album to wipe my butt.


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DesecratorJ
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Fri May 26, 2017 5:07 am
Posts: 24
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Fri Mar 08, 2019 1:15 pm 
 

EzraBlumenfeld wrote:
What about when he said Bathory was power metal?


What?

This is blasphemy.
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EzraBlumenfeld
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue Oct 24, 2017 12:50 pm
Posts: 276
Location: Land of No Return
PostPosted: Fri Mar 08, 2019 1:18 pm 
 

DesecratorJ wrote:
EzraBlumenfeld wrote:
What about when he said Bathory was power metal?


What?

This is blasphemy.


Right here.
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MisanthropicEvil wrote:
This album reeled me in with it's eye-catching album cover but vomited a whole load of musical diarrhea in my face as soon as I started listening! I would not even use this album to wipe my butt.


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Listen to my band's new album!

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Subrick
Metal freak

Joined: Sun Sep 12, 2010 7:27 pm
Posts: 8157
Location: United States
PostPosted: Fri Mar 08, 2019 5:48 pm 
 

I forgot about that one. I must’ve blocked it out because of how fucking stupid it was.
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Earthcubed wrote:
I'm just perpetually annoyed by Sean William Scott and he's never been in a movie where I wasn't rooting for his head to sever by strange means.

Blacksoul Seraphim Gothic Doom Metal
Autumn's Ashes Melodic Death/Doom Metal

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CHAIRTHROWER
Methed-burnt rogue babelfish

Joined: Sun Dec 20, 2015 7:10 pm
Posts: 426
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Fri Mar 08, 2019 6:34 pm 
 

*BENM: "banal emulative numetal mediocrity", a term sag-, I mean, wisely coined by Bayern in his recent AD to the X review...

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bayern
Metal newbie

Joined: Wed Sep 13, 2006 10:11 pm
Posts: 81
Location: Bulgaria
PostPosted: Sat Mar 09, 2019 2:29 am 
 

CHAIRTHROWER wrote:
*BENM: "banal emulative numetal mediocrity", a term sag-, I mean, wisely coined by Bayern in his recent AD to the X review...


Shit, never thought about that... changing my car these days and all. Cheers!

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CHAIRTHROWER
Methed-burnt rogue babelfish

Joined: Sun Dec 20, 2015 7:10 pm
Posts: 426
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Sat Mar 09, 2019 11:43 pm 
 

Stained Glass Assassin - sweet moniker btw - scored a touchdown with me at the end of his genial Type O review for World Coming Down...:

"However, like any underlying story line in an already excellent movie or book, the mood Type O Negative creates adds another level of enjoyability, albeit at the cost of any joy you’re experiencing at that time." [haha!]

Highlights: "White Slavery" "Everyone I Love is Dead" "Creepy Green Lights" "World Coming Down"...

Oh, it's "Creepy Green Light", singular, btw - which makes it even freakier and more twisted, wouldn't ya say...such an indelibly killer title alone merits highlight inclusion!

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TrooperEd
Metalhead

Joined: Sun Nov 14, 2004 6:18 pm
Posts: 2067
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sun Mar 10, 2019 12:54 am 
 

BastardHead wrote:
Metallica gave them direction with Hardwired (which told Dave that was he was supposed to do was recreate the classic years again, which he responded to with Dystopia).


Mustaine is such a Metallica follower he wrote, recorded and released Dystopia a good 10 months before Hardwired. :roll:


Subrick wrote:
New ultra stupid TrooperEd thing that he's said for real and means without irony: Saying that Into the Pandemonium "is practically Nightwish a good ten years beforehand".


Ok at first I thought you were just referring to my assessment of the song Rex Irae (which I can assure you had plenty of irony....and also a few paint chips for good measure), but the entire damn album? I never said that.

Thiestru wrote:
Was TrooperEd having a stroke when he wrote the title for that Running Wild review? Fix the punctuation. Come on, this isn't hard.


Youtube: show
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BastardHead
Worse than the PMRC

Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2005 7:53 pm
Posts: 9192
Location: St. Charles, Illinois
PostPosted: Sun Mar 10, 2019 1:08 am 
 

TrooperEd wrote:
BastardHead wrote:
Metallica gave them direction with Hardwired (which told Dave that was he was supposed to do was recreate the classic years again, which he responded to with Dystopia).


Mustaine is such a Metallica follower he wrote, recorded and released Dystopia a good 10 months before Hardwired. :roll:


Lol sometimes I'm so dedicated to my hot takes that I completely fuck up my timelines :durr:

A divergence in recent years doesn't erase the previous twenty though. Coincidences become patterns after enough of them.
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TrooperEd
Metalhead

Joined: Sun Nov 14, 2004 6:18 pm
Posts: 2067
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sun Mar 10, 2019 1:11 am 
 

BastardHead wrote:
TrooperEd wrote:
BastardHead wrote:
Metallica gave them direction with Hardwired (which told Dave that was he was supposed to do was recreate the classic years again, which he responded to with Dystopia).


Mustaine is such a Metallica follower he wrote, recorded and released Dystopia a good 10 months before Hardwired. :roll:


Lol sometimes I'm so dedicated to my hot takes that I completely fuck up my timelines :durr:

A divergence in recent years doesn't erase the previous twenty though. Coincidences become patterns after enough of them.


Dave only followed Metallica after the s/t, up to Risk. Wouldn't say he's been doing it now
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mjollnir
Metalhead

Joined: Sat Jul 17, 2004 4:14 pm
Posts: 1841
Location: Versailles, PA
PostPosted: Sun Mar 10, 2019 1:05 pm 
 

Autothrall's take on the new Queensryche album is quite accurate but I must point out an inaccuracy...
Quote:
Lots of those Eastern-flavored, Tate-like vocal lines populate tunes like "Light Years" or "Propaganda Fashion", driven by Rockenfield's loud drums

Todd LaTore played he drums on this album. ;)
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TrooperEd wrote:
Edit: fuck it this whole thing is bait anyway.


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autothrall
Metal newbie

Joined: Fri Apr 24, 2009 10:05 am
Posts: 250
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sun Mar 10, 2019 3:49 pm 
 

mjollnir wrote:
Autothrall's take on the new Queensryche album is quite accurate but I must point out an inaccuracy...
Quote:
Lots of those Eastern-flavored, Tate-like vocal lines populate tunes like "Light Years" or "Propaganda Fashion", driven by Rockenfield's loud drums

Todd LaTore played he drums on this album. ;)


Bananas! But that's what I get for referencing the wrong lineup info. Thank you sir, I will correct this to credit Mr. La Torre immediately.
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mjollnir
Metalhead

Joined: Sat Jul 17, 2004 4:14 pm
Posts: 1841
Location: Versailles, PA
PostPosted: Sun Mar 10, 2019 5:49 pm 
 

autothrall wrote:
mjollnir wrote:
Autothrall's take on the new Queensryche album is quite accurate but I must point out an inaccuracy...
Quote:
Lots of those Eastern-flavored, Tate-like vocal lines populate tunes like "Light Years" or "Propaganda Fashion", driven by Rockenfield's loud drums

Todd LaTore played he drums on this album. ;)


Bananas! But that's what I get for referencing the wrong lineup info. Thank you sir, I will correct this to credit Mr. La Torre immediately.

No worries. As usual your review is spot on. The album is hit or miss.
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TrooperEd wrote:
Edit: fuck it this whole thing is bait anyway.


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CHAIRTHROWER
Methed-burnt rogue babelfish

Joined: Sun Dec 20, 2015 7:10 pm
Posts: 426
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Mon Mar 11, 2019 7:00 pm 
 

BongBongBeerWizards?! Really?!

Holy Moses, like you said, TP, i6's no easy feat to fuck up doom metal, but here is living, sonic proof! Nice sardonic jives, here; check it:

"The focus is obviously on building up the riffs but even those require an understanding of Morse code to properly decipher." (subtle!)
"Questioning the motivations behind BongBongBeerWizards can lead to Lovecraftian madness." (evidently)
"Doom naysayers will find the perfect whipping boy to air out their grievances..." (two of my favorite words in the same sentence: "naysayers" and "whipping post"...nice.)

...

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Five_Nails
Metalhead

Joined: Fri Dec 14, 2007 1:34 pm
Posts: 549
PostPosted: Mon Mar 11, 2019 7:05 pm 
 

CHAIRTHROWER wrote:
BongBongBeerWizards?! Really?!

Holy Moses, like you said, TP, i6's no easy feat to fuck up doom metal, but here is living, sonic proof! Nice sardonic jives, here; check it:

"The focus is obviously on building up the riffs but even those require an understanding of Morse code to properly decipher." (subtle!)
"Questioning the motivations behind BongBongBeerWizards can lead to Lovecraftian madness." (evidently)
"Doom naysayers will find the perfect whipping boy to air out their grievances..." (two of my favorite words in the same sentence: "naysayers" and "whipping post"...nice.)

...


People bitch about my drunken tangents and yet this is decipherable? C'mon CHAIRTHROWER, why not qualify a bit of context in those broken legs? :P
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CHAIRTHROWER
Methed-burnt rogue babelfish

Joined: Sun Dec 20, 2015 7:10 pm
Posts: 426
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Mon Mar 11, 2019 7:25 pm 
 

Why the waggish contumely, 5N? Oh, OK, yeah this if for twisted_psychology's BBBW review listed on the main page i.e. one from today, so not hard to glean, yes? (b)urp!

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Five_Nails
Metalhead

Joined: Fri Dec 14, 2007 1:34 pm
Posts: 549
PostPosted: Mon Mar 11, 2019 8:52 pm 
 

I get what you mean Charizard but it's a bit too dysfunctional a discourse to really reflect on when so much volume is flooding the airwaves. I'm still listening to CC's P.B.E. 13 years later and always behind the bounce to jump on the latest review bandwagon atm. In this forum it becomes even tougher when the abbreviations and incessant elocution outrun their relevance as quickly as a day become a night or night divides a day. I try to run, I try to hide but I just can't break on through to the other side of your posts here and there. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-r679Hhs9Zs)

The need for such erudite linguistic gymnastics is just lost on me I guess, especially when we're discussing bands that are so willing to expound on their obscenities in such simple language. (i.e. Torsofuck or, even more present, Corpsefucker) Why can't we differentiate between personal chatter and the outlandish explanations we seek in reviews in a forum for reviewers made by reviewers?

We can't speak plainly? Are we all Adams' and Jeffersons? Need we hate each other in our prime in order to buddy up on our deathbeds, sending homespun back and forth?

If I wanted to write riddles I'd be plenty glad to enlist your absurdist acumen but it's choking me out buddy, especially when we're in this area to discuss reviews rather than gag each other with our robust dictions. I'd be properly obliged to slough your grandiose linguistic cogency across my failure of a fascade if it met some semblance of what one may decide an exceptional consideration but I have trouble finding that in the flagrant flaunting of your four-dollar sways of gratuitous vocabulistics. It becomes unbecoming to be coming on so strong spotlighting ideals that, while insightful, are far more casual than they are doused in the absurdities that you seem to pour upon them when the records in question deserve those inundations of syllables in order to better describe their impact rather than the value of its critic.






I'm fucking with you dude, keep doing what you're doing man. You're weird and awesome, a great fit for an honest metalhead. Also, guess what album and band I was talking about :P
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gasmask_colostomy
Metalhead

Joined: Thu May 27, 2010 5:38 am
Posts: 569
Location: Behind the wall of fire
PostPosted: Tue Mar 12, 2019 4:01 am 
 

Five_Nails wrote:
I get what you mean Charizard but it's a bit too dysfunctional a discourse to really reflect on when so much volume is flooding the airwaves. I'm still listening to CC's P.B.E. 13 years later and always behind the bounce to jump on the latest review bandwagon atm. In this forum it becomes even tougher when the abbreviations and incessant elocution outrun their relevance as quickly as a day become a night or night divides a day. I try to run, I try to hide but I just can't break on through to the other side of your posts here and there. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-r679Hhs9Zs)

The need for such erudite linguistic gymnastics is just lost on me I guess, especially when we're discussing bands that are so willing to expound on their obscenities in such simple language. (i.e. Torsofuck or, even more present, Corpsefucker) Why can't we differentiate between personal chatter and the outlandish explanations we seek in reviews in a forum for reviewers made by reviewers?

We can't speak plainly? Are we all Adams' and Jeffersons? Need we hate each other in our prime in order to buddy up on our deathbeds, sending homespun back and forth?

If I wanted to write riddles I'd be plenty glad to enlist your absurdist acumen but it's choking me out buddy, especially when we're in this area to discuss reviews rather than gag each other with our robust dictions. I'd be properly obliged to slough your grandiose linguistic cogency across my failure of a fascade if it met some semblance of what one may decide an exceptional consideration but I have trouble finding that in the flagrant flaunting of your four-dollar sways of gratuitous vocabulistics. It becomes unbecoming to be coming on so strong spotlighting ideals that, while insightful, are far more casual than they are doused in the absurdities that you seem to pour upon them when the records in question deserve those inundations of syllables in order to better describe their impact rather than the value of its critic.






I'm fucking with you dude, keep doing what you're doing man. You're weird and awesome, a great fit for an honest metalhead. Also, guess what album and band I was talking about :P

I'm in favour of these little italicized lines at the end of long posts. They really suit your style Five_Nails, just makes it hard to work out which one is the subtext...

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Five_Nails
Metalhead

Joined: Fri Dec 14, 2007 1:34 pm
Posts: 549
PostPosted: Tue Mar 12, 2019 9:53 am 
 

You'll never know!


That Abyssal Rites review by oneyoudontknow is a total mess. Randomly missing words, boldfacing the band's name in one place while neglecting the others, questions for no reason other than to sound like you're talking to a kindergartner, it's ridiculous. I have a question. What the fuck is this shit? I feel like I'm reading the ramblings of this old historian on his deathbed that I talked to a few years back except that guy was more fucking cogent. Also, for some reason this guy has to qualify with "written on MP3s, 320 kbps, provided by the band-" even though you can choose the album version when you submit a review. They made the UI idiot-proof for fuck's sake.

"What would be experiencing in a rather unpredictable or uncommon way in this regard?"

"A powerful unleashes it all"

"Abyssal Rites's music ia raw"

SYNTAX!!!

I feel like Hanoi Hannah is going to tell me to "go back home GI Joe."
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CHAIRTHROWER
Methed-burnt rogue babelfish

Joined: Sun Dec 20, 2015 7:10 pm
Posts: 426
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Tue Mar 12, 2019 12:41 pm 
 

Ah, Five_Nails, thank you for the deep conveyance above. While I'm too addled to figure out the album you're riddling up, know I dig what you're saying. Our reviews shouldn't divulge more about ourselves than the material we're supposed to be honing in on, am I somewhat correct? Personality is important but this "s*gacious erudition" thing, the more so, perhaps?

Other than that, I'm generally annoyed these days as my access to wee-fee has been compromised (unduly), so am writing stuff very piece-meal, like one paragraph a day or so; Gone are the sunny days of blitzing away a review in an hour, say...

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Diesel 11
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Fri Nov 11, 2016 2:25 am
Posts: 11
Location: United States
PostPosted: Tue Mar 12, 2019 1:42 pm 
 

Five_Nails wrote:
You'll never know!


That Abyssal Rites review by oneyoudontknow is a total mess. Randomly missing words, boldfacing the band's name in one place while neglecting the others, questions for no reason other than to sound like you're talking to a kindergartner, it's ridiculous. I have a question. What the fuck is this shit? I feel like I'm reading the ramblings of this old historian on his deathbed that I talked to a few years back except that guy was more fucking cogent. Also, for some reason this guy has to qualify with "written on MP3s, 320 kbps, provided by the band-" even though you can choose the album version when you submit a review. They made the UI idiot-proof for fuck's sake.

"What would be experiencing in a rather unpredictable or uncommon way in this regard?"

"A powerful unleashes it all"

"Abyssal Rites's music ia raw"

SYNTAX!!!

I feel like Hanoi Hannah is going to tell me to "go back home GI Joe."

Crazy that this is the same person who wrote that masterful breakdown of Ulver's William Blake album. Ten years down, and I guess it hasn't been a good aging process.

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caspian
Wanderer of the Wastes

Joined: Tue Dec 07, 2004 11:29 pm
Posts: 6309
Location: Australia
PostPosted: Thu Mar 14, 2019 2:31 am 
 

The William Blake review is terrible man. Don't mistake length for profundity.

CHAIRTHROWER wrote:
Ah, Five_Nails, thank you for the deep conveyance above. While I'm too addled to figure out the album you're riddling up, know I dig what you're saying. Our reviews shouldn't divulge more about ourselves than the material we're supposed to be honing in on, am I somewhat correct? Personality is important but this "s*gacious erudition" thing, the more so, perhaps?

Other than that, I'm generally annoyed these days as my access to wee-fee has been compromised (unduly), so am writing stuff very piece-meal, like one paragraph a day or so; Gone are the sunny days of blitzing away a review in an hour, say...


It takes an hour for you guys to write a review?? ???????
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Ilwhyan
Metel fraek

Joined: Sat Sep 29, 2007 1:41 pm
Posts: 7983
Location: Lifeless shadows
PostPosted: Thu Mar 14, 2019 2:48 am 
 

caspian wrote:
It takes an hour for you guys to write a review?? ???????

Your reviews took less time to write than it takes to read them. :P
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Wilytank
Not a Flying Toy

Joined: Thu Jul 30, 2009 7:21 am
Posts: 5224
Location: United States
PostPosted: Thu Mar 14, 2019 5:51 pm 
 

Well it can certainly take a while or several listens to be able to articulate my feelings into words, but once I have a collection of ideas ready to be transcribed the typing process isn’t very long at all.
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