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Empyreal
The Final Frontier

Joined: Thu Nov 30, 2006 6:58 pm
Posts: 26452
Location: Where the dead rule the night
PostPosted: Tue Jun 11, 2019 12:52 pm 
 

Ghost is just a pure gimmick that worked. They got what they wanted out of that project and obviously it resonates with people. They just seem to put very little effort into stepping outside their box, but whatever I guess. Gloryhammer is simply a subset of the power metal genre I don't like, which is why I've essentially quit reviewing shit like that. I already said everything I had to say about the Gloryhammers, Powerwolfs and whatnot and it'd be redundant to keep doing so.

I should do some new reviews though; it's been a while. Everything I've felt like reviewing would be really positive, but eh nothing wrong with that.
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ᴎostalgiʞK
Metal newbie

Joined: Sat Mar 01, 2014 1:27 pm
Posts: 159
Location: Argentina, Brazil
PostPosted: Tue Jun 11, 2019 1:11 pm 
 

Empyreal wrote:
Ghost is just a pure gimmick that worked. They got what they wanted out of that project and obviously it resonates with people.


Totally agree. Everytime I see the band Repugnant I realize that Ghost was a huge mistake IMO.

Bad thing that they are not active..
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CHAIRTHROWER
Methed-burnt rogue babelfish

Joined: Sun Dec 20, 2015 7:10 pm
Posts: 415
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Tue Jun 11, 2019 1:48 pm 
 

In regards to Empyreal's "I should do some new reviews though; it's been a while. Everything I've felt like reviewing would be really positive, but eh nothing wrong with that.",

I agree, although sometimes, we must bite the silver bullet and churn out a handful of lesser rated, if not outright despondently hemmed, write-ups to assuage ye ole antagonistic n' contrarian, reverse-hype backlashers' sensibilities...after which, of course, gleefully merry juxtapositions of swan-diving, exuberant praise is the norm!

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Empyreal
The Final Frontier

Joined: Thu Nov 30, 2006 6:58 pm
Posts: 26452
Location: Where the dead rule the night
PostPosted: Tue Jun 11, 2019 4:05 pm 
 

I like to vary it up and do different types of scores in each batch of reviews I put out. Too many high scores all in a row feels like I'd be discrediting the numbers for all those albums.
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gasmask_colostomy
Metalhead

Joined: Thu May 27, 2010 5:38 am
Posts: 511
Location: Behind the wall of fire
PostPosted: Tue Jun 11, 2019 8:45 pm 
 

CHAIRTHROWER wrote:
Wow, NausikaDalaz's latest for Qualm (Kwom to the analphabet) is mega-metaphorisized in the best possible way...dig it, like a swarming, festering mass of buzzing flies overhea(r)d, or perhaps, ahem, an un-godly and diabolical demon coupling or two...sure beats reading The Epoch Times, no-how!

She has really grown into her reviewing style in the last couple of years and is definitely now the reviewing authority on underground black/drone/noise/experimental stuff. That kind of music is hard to review because a lot of it is fairly abstract and I find she's getting to the crux of stuff like Qualm more and more. It's kind of a pity that she never uses the forum, because I think we could benefit from her knowledge in that area.

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CHAIRTHROWER
Methed-burnt rogue babelfish

Joined: Sun Dec 20, 2015 7:10 pm
Posts: 415
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Tue Jun 11, 2019 9:30 pm 
 

Supposedly, she also writes short fiction...which is likely quite colorful, albeit darkly, maybe.

(Haha...perhaps she glances here from time to time and smirks "ah, boys will be boys", or something along such mordant lines...)

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SweetLeaf95
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Dec 16, 2014 1:19 am
Posts: 725
Location: United States
PostPosted: Wed Jun 12, 2019 8:18 am 
 

ᴎostalgiʞK wrote:
Everytime I see the band Repugnant I realize that Ghost was a huge mistake IMO


There were two other bands that came between Repugnant and Ghost. Magna Carta Cartel and Subvision (the latter being mostly made up of Ghost members). There was a huge change in Tobias's sounds before Ghost.
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CHAIRTHROWER
Methed-burnt rogue babelfish

Joined: Sun Dec 20, 2015 7:10 pm
Posts: 415
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Wed Jun 12, 2019 9:34 am 
 

(Nice to see the ole Parental Guidance algorithm on this here computer is actually permitting me to snooze through the Forum this morn...)

Ah, regarding the scoring system for our beloved reviews, I think it'd be neat to write 10 (or 11) in a royal flush mode, with them being rated 1% higher at a time, starting with, say 90%. (i.e. 90, 91, 92...98, 99, then the big hombre, proud 100%!).

Often I'll compile said list only to deviate left and right, although I think I'm nearing an exalted 94-95 to 99-100% sequence in such fashion.

But yeah, nothing like a row of C/D graders prior to slyly turning around and knocking 'em (un) dead with a farrago of knicker-swizzlers, eh?

Thoughts?

(your po-faced chairzog, or whatever)

P.S. am exultingly about to dig that Vulture's V. write-up, now...

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Duisterling
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Apr 17, 2007 12:12 pm
Posts: 667
PostPosted: Wed Jun 12, 2019 9:59 am 
 

CHAIRTHROWER wrote:
Supposedly, she also writes short fiction...which is likely quite colorful, albeit darkly, maybe.

I've only read a couple myself, but in case you're curious: a whole bunch of her short stories are publicly available here.
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CHAIRTHROWER
Methed-burnt rogue babelfish

Joined: Sun Dec 20, 2015 7:10 pm
Posts: 415
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Wed Jun 12, 2019 10:08 am 
 

Great! Thanks for the link; I shall (duly) peruse one today, as I slowly imbibe some of this elfin, I mean, effin' killer Vulture's Vengeance (a soundtrack to one of her tales, so to speak)...

(Just read Aran's Crime...it goes super well with The Knightlore, btw)

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Petrus_Steele
Metal newbie

Joined: Sun Mar 24, 2019 11:19 am
Posts: 42
PostPosted: Wed Jun 12, 2019 9:52 pm 
 

Anyone here who reviewed, what's the proudest and most elaborate review you've ever written?

So far, mine would be this: https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... ele/553432

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CHAIRTHROWER
Methed-burnt rogue babelfish

Joined: Sun Dec 20, 2015 7:10 pm
Posts: 415
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Wed Jun 12, 2019 11:43 pm 
 

I could go out on a (torn off) limb here and wax wistful about my second - but definitely not final - Duel review, but I believe I've already ruffled enough feathers on that end...

but I know what you mean, some of our own works, I suppose, we fondly hark back to from time to time...nothing wrong, or self-indulgent in doing so, in my (vegan cook) book.

('Tis one of the joys of listening to metal, yes?)

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CannibalCorpse
Metal newbie

Joined: Fri Oct 01, 2004 3:55 pm
Posts: 312
Location: Austria
PostPosted: Thu Jun 13, 2019 2:19 am 
 

Okay, okay, I got it, I got it.

I need to listen to his new Death Angel album right now.

Thanks Mr. Unicorn and all previous "Humanicide"-reviewers for boosting up the hype levels.
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Twisted_Psychology
Metal freak

Joined: Sat May 16, 2009 8:22 pm
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Location: United States
PostPosted: Thu Jun 13, 2019 8:47 am 
 

And apparently I need to listen to it again because man it just didn't stand out to me.
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hells_unicorn
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Feb 15, 2005 8:32 pm
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Location: United States
PostPosted: Thu Jun 13, 2019 1:01 pm 
 

Twisted_Psychology wrote:
And apparently I need to listen to it again because man it just didn't stand out to me.


In full disclosure, I've been a pretty consistent fan boy of Death Angel's output since they reformed, while I never got around to reviewing their previous 2 albums, they were not far behind this one. I'm pretty easy to please when it comes to thrash metal, particularly when it involves merging the older style with a newer, larger production sound.
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Twisted_Psychology
Metal freak

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Location: United States
PostPosted: Thu Jun 13, 2019 2:58 pm 
 

My favorite of the reunion era is also Killing Season so I don't think I can say too much either.
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Lord_Of_Diamonds
Metal newbie

Joined: Wed Dec 12, 2018 5:23 pm
Posts: 47
PostPosted: Thu Jun 13, 2019 10:16 pm 
 

That new Chainsaw Penis review was absolutely horrible. It reads like a butthurt YouTube comment, complete with items like "retarded" and "lol", plus bad grammar. The guy who wrote it gave it a 70, but contradicts himself by saying that everything's "tight" and then admitting that it's "absolutely worthless and not amazing in the slightest", thus showing that he really only wrote it to boost the album's score. It almost makes me want to write my own Chainsaw Penis review to bring it back down.

Now I know how others feel when they read my contrarian reviews.
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gasmask_colostomy
Metalhead

Joined: Thu May 27, 2010 5:38 am
Posts: 511
Location: Behind the wall of fire
PostPosted: Fri Jun 14, 2019 12:58 am 
 

Lord_Of_Diamonds wrote:
That new Chainsaw Penis review was absolutely horrible. It reads like a butthurt YouTube comment, complete with items like "retarded" and "lol", plus bad grammar. The guy who wrote it gave it a 70, but contradicts himself by saying that everything's "tight" and then admitting that it's "absolutely worthless and not amazing in the slightest", thus showing that he really only wrote it to boost the album's score. It almost makes me want to write my own Chainsaw Penis review to bring it back down.

Now I know how others feel when they read my contrarian reviews.

Reading your post really had me on the edge of my seat regarding your next actions.

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ᴎostalgiʞK
Metal newbie

Joined: Sat Mar 01, 2014 1:27 pm
Posts: 159
Location: Argentina, Brazil
PostPosted: Fri Jun 14, 2019 2:13 am 
 

I am intrigued by the possibility of such incoming review as well!
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droneriot
incelgender

Joined: Sat Aug 28, 2004 1:17 pm
Posts: 8466
Location: Spahn Ranch
PostPosted: Fri Jun 14, 2019 5:45 am 
 

Writing a 0% for some nobodies who want to be the worst band in the world, that's up there with Edmund Hillary, Chuck Yaeger and Neil Armstrong, epics of this feat will be written for centuries to come.
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Empyreal
The Final Frontier

Joined: Thu Nov 30, 2006 6:58 pm
Posts: 26452
Location: Where the dead rule the night
PostPosted: Fri Jun 14, 2019 8:38 am 
 

What justice is even left in the world if Chainsaw Penis is getting bad reviews?
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ᴎostalgiʞK
Metal newbie

Joined: Sat Mar 01, 2014 1:27 pm
Posts: 159
Location: Argentina, Brazil
PostPosted: Fri Jun 14, 2019 3:38 pm 
 

The band is totally a parody on purpose, some tunes are fine enough to me, but can not be taken seriously... On the other hand the album Hexakosioihexekontahexaphobia with a proper production could be really good imo.
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TrooperEd
Metalhead

Joined: Sun Nov 14, 2004 6:18 pm
Posts: 2060
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sat Jun 15, 2019 1:53 pm 
 

From BastardHead's Master of Puppets review:

Quote:
They were never the fastest or angriest or most brutal band in the world, but I think a big part of the charm is that they neither seemed to claim nor try to be.


Eh, I think they did. I certainly think it's the reason why heshers got so up in arms whenever James even thought about sticking his foot on the distortion pedal to go from distorted back to clean. They talked volumes of shit about the hair bands and claimed they were going to play louder and faster. That is the dictionary definition of the term. That is the dictionary definition of "If you came to see spandex, big hair and the words ooh baby in every song this ain't your fuckin band."

Quote:
the utter fucking absurdity of their reissues of classic albums


Let me introduce you to a band called Iron Maiden. Metallica really aren't that bad when it comes to reissues. And even if they were, so what? They gotta pay the bills somehow, and constantly re-releasing classic albums is a much more musical integral way of a legacy paying the bills rather than continuing to tour with practically no original members, which Metallica doesn't do, but thousands of other bands do.

CHAIRTHROWER wrote:
Double duly...also, I've never even yet heard Abigail in full (for shame, I know, I'm on it!) but just from reading the wicked amalgam of prior (emphasis on "prior", dig?) reviews on it, almost see it mapped out sonically for me in my head (or brain pan).


Abigail absolutely rules. Possibly the best thing King Diamond ever did. If you like the-fuck-out-of-nowhere tempo changes with neck breaking practically thrash riffs, you will like Abigail.
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BastardHead
Worse than the PMRC

Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2005 7:53 pm
Posts: 9131
Location: St. Charles, Illinois
PostPosted: Sun Jun 16, 2019 2:52 am 
 

TrooperEd wrote:
Quote:
They were never the fastest or angriest or most brutal band in the world, but I think a big part of the charm is that they neither seemed to claim nor try to be.


Eh, I think they did. I certainly think it's the reason why heshers got so up in arms whenever James even thought about sticking his foot on the distortion pedal to go from distorted back to clean. They talked volumes of shit about the hair bands and claimed they were going to play louder and faster. That is the dictionary definition of the term. That is the dictionary definition of "If you came to see spandex, big hair and the words ooh baby in every song this ain't your fuckin band.".


Eh, this is fair. There's no doubt in 1983 they were saying things like that and full on into their METAL UP YOUR ASS attitude but I feel like it had softened a bit by the time of MoP, though I could well be wrong. I'll concede the bolded segment, though I maintain the first half of that snippet is unassailably true.

TrooperEd wrote:
Quote:
the utter fucking absurdity of their reissues of classic albums



Let me introduce you to a band called Iron Maiden. Metallica really aren't that bad when it comes to reissues. And even if they were, so what? They gotta pay the bills somehow, and constantly re-releasing classic albums is a much more musical integral way of a legacy paying the bills rather than continuing to tour with practically no original members, which Metallica doesn't do, but thousands of other bands do.


I don't think I was exactly clear what I was referring to when I called their reissues absurd, but I was meaning things like this. I like Justice just fine but there is no universe where I'm going to drop a few hundo on a six vinyl, 11 CD, 4 DVD set. They're fairly new to this game but it's still total fucking hubris to release something with that much valueless bullshit just because they think us suckers will buy anything with their name on it.
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caspian
Wanderer of the Wastes

Joined: Tue Dec 07, 2004 11:29 pm
Posts: 6309
Location: Australia
PostPosted: Sun Jun 16, 2019 5:19 am 
 

They were saying they weren't a hair band. Completely different from saying they were the heaviest. They certainly thought they were heavy, which yknow is pretty valid.

Also bastardhead I own that reissue and it's pretty cool man. You have to be a bit autistic about the band but it's fairly rad.
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Napalm_Satan
One-Trick Pony

Joined: Sat Apr 18, 2015 4:27 pm
Posts: 3258
PostPosted: Sun Jun 16, 2019 11:02 am 
 

Yeah just based on what he said there - 'They talked volumes of shit about the hair bands and claimed they were going to play louder and faster.' I think it's implied they mean faster and heavier than glam bands, not faster and heavier than anything else out there.

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CHAIRTHROWER
Methed-burnt rogue babelfish

Joined: Sun Dec 20, 2015 7:10 pm
Posts: 415
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Sun Jun 16, 2019 12:25 pm 
 

We should initiate a thread which validates new, or fairly arrived, writers/reviewers; often somebody has a knack for it and comes out of left field with a gonzo review, but nobody reads it (until, if luck's involved, he writes a bunch quickly, in order to substantially warrant a random interest in random #1) or mentions in. It simply gets tossed in the "in box", and said (totally new), potential beneficial reviewer, loses sight of the site and doesn't write another until six months or a year or two later.

This would motivate recently inscribed members to tap in, instead of wigging out.

Check out this mason dude's review for a weird band called Portal_Ion...

https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... n_s/425887

(Maybe it's because I see of my own style in it a little)

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Acrobat
Eric Olthwaite

Joined: Fri Jul 06, 2007 8:53 am
Posts: 8218
Location: York, North Yorkshire
PostPosted: Mon Jun 17, 2019 12:44 pm 
 

This one works just fine. It's perfectly meritocratic.
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hells_unicorn
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Feb 15, 2005 8:32 pm
Posts: 2320
Location: United States
PostPosted: Wed Jun 19, 2019 11:45 am 
 

Looks like autothrall is getting back into the mass output racket after a few years of playing it cool, I'll probably never catch him now. lol His Death Angel write-ups are a decent read though.
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Metantoine
Big Beautiful Famgot

Joined: Sat Jun 21, 2008 5:00 pm
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Location: In the Rectory
PostPosted: Wed Jun 19, 2019 2:03 pm 
 

gasmask_colostomy wrote:
Give me a pair of scissors and I could probably get Primordial to finish The Gathering Wilderness in about 45 minutes instead of 60.

Give me a pair of scissors and I'll throw them at him!

Fuckin' 100% for the new underwhelming Chevalier LP and now this. I'm angry!
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Ilwhyan
Metel fraek

Joined: Sat Sep 29, 2007 1:41 pm
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Location: Lifeless shadows
PostPosted: Wed Jun 19, 2019 2:06 pm 
 

Metantoine wrote:
gasmask_colostomy wrote:
Give me a pair of scissors and I could probably get Primordial to finish The Gathering Wilderness in about 45 minutes instead of 60.

Give me a pair of scissors and I'll throw them at him!

Yes, what a horrible idea. Half of the appeal of the album is that it's very expansive and long-winded.
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Metantoine
Big Beautiful Famgot

Joined: Sat Jun 21, 2008 5:00 pm
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Location: In the Rectory
PostPosted: Wed Jun 19, 2019 2:09 pm 
 

Also:

Quote:
Grown men may possibly also get bored. Why? Because The Gathering Wildnerness keeps doing the same thing for an hour

He probably got bored because "omg, album is 1 hour long" and didn't listen to "Cities Carved in Stone" and its mournful ballad vibe.
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Ilwhyan
Metel fraek

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PostPosted: Wed Jun 19, 2019 2:46 pm 
 

That's such a fantastic song. I think it's become my favourite after my initial awe for songs like The Coffin Ships, End of All Times, and the title track (by which I mean, awe which lasted for years) gave way to a more general, overall appreciation for the album.
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Acrobat
Eric Olthwaite

Joined: Fri Jul 06, 2007 8:53 am
Posts: 8218
Location: York, North Yorkshire
PostPosted: Wed Jun 19, 2019 5:02 pm 
 

Ilwhyan wrote:
Metantoine wrote:
gasmask_colostomy wrote:
Give me a pair of scissors and I could probably get Primordial to finish The Gathering Wilderness in about 45 minutes instead of 60.

Give me a pair of scissors and I'll throw them at him!

Yes, what a horrible idea. Half of the appeal of the album is that it's very expansive and long-winded.


I get what you're going for... but the appeal definitely isn't its long-windedness. Let along half of it. I think it's appropriately long for what it's trying to convey, though.
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gasmask_colostomy
Metalhead

Joined: Thu May 27, 2010 5:38 am
Posts: 511
Location: Behind the wall of fire
PostPosted: Thu Jun 20, 2019 12:47 am 
 

Ilwhyan wrote:
Metantoine wrote:
gasmask_colostomy wrote:
Give me a pair of scissors and I could probably get Primordial to finish The Gathering Wilderness in about 45 minutes instead of 60.

Give me a pair of scissors and I'll throw them at him!

Yes, what a horrible idea. Half of the appeal of the album is that it's very expansive and long-winded.

I’ve never had a backlash this bad for any review I’ve written, let alone for an album that I gave 86% to. You guys do know that it’s titled “Critical Perspective” in order to provide some contrast to the overly affectionate 100% reviews all over Primordial’s page? I quite like the album myself, but the aim is to write about its flaws, which haven’t been covered very thoroughly.

The comment about scissors implies that I think cutting some length would have improved the album experience. I’m in agreement that their “expansive” sound is one of their attractive features, but since when was “long-winded” a positive description? ‘Cities Carved in Stone’ has some great ideas in that long instrumental section and justifies being the closer because of its vocal quietness; however, one possible result of that endless repetition and very gradual morphing is boredom.

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Ilwhyan
Metel fraek

Joined: Sat Sep 29, 2007 1:41 pm
Posts: 7922
Location: Lifeless shadows
PostPosted: Thu Jun 20, 2019 1:40 am 
 

Long-winded is a negative word, and my meaning wasn't. What I mean is that the songs are indeed long and drawn-out, and yes, you could easily trim them by quite a lot, but for me, that would simply ruin the whole journey.

If you're going out of your way to write something negative about an extremely well-liked album, why are you surprised that some people will disagree with it? :???: In any case, you seem to have been under the impression that fans of the album are overlooking obvious, gaping flaws of the album due to the strength of other parts of it. I felt like pointing out that what you consider to be its big flaw is actually a huge selling point for me, personally.
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Acrobat
Eric Olthwaite

Joined: Fri Jul 06, 2007 8:53 am
Posts: 8218
Location: York, North Yorkshire
PostPosted: Thu Jun 20, 2019 2:00 am 
 

On the subject of adjectives, gasmask describes the writing as 'flabby', which just doesn't fit at all. His other descriptions all tend to imply that the album is more spartan affair.
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gasmask_colostomy
Metalhead

Joined: Thu May 27, 2010 5:38 am
Posts: 511
Location: Behind the wall of fire
PostPosted: Thu Jun 20, 2019 4:00 am 
 

Ilwhyan wrote:
If you're going out of your way to write something negative about an extremely well-liked album, why are you surprised that some people will disagree with it? :???: In any case, you seem to have been under the impression that fans of the album are overlooking obvious, gaping flaws of the album due to the strength of other parts of it. I felt like pointing out that what you consider to be its big flaw is actually a huge selling point for me, personally.

Disagreeing is fine, because I’m obviously trying to talk about the album in a different way to most of the other reviews, but I think the simplest argument from my review has been picked up, which is that the long-form writing approach was bad in its own right. That’s obviously not true, and I had argued before that to say that some of the “building” elements never climax, which makes the long-form approach seem like a waste of time.

I don’t think that the 100% fans are overlooking flaws per se, I just feel that for an album with such positive feedback, someone should look at the reasons why The Gathering Wilderness might be disliked and where it falls short. I sort of hold both opinions, because that album catches me very differently in different moods.

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Ilwhyan
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PostPosted: Thu Jun 20, 2019 5:54 am 
 

gasmask_colostomy wrote:
Ilwhyan wrote:
If you're going out of your way to write something negative about an extremely well-liked album, why are you surprised that some people will disagree with it? :???: In any case, you seem to have been under the impression that fans of the album are overlooking obvious, gaping flaws of the album due to the strength of other parts of it. I felt like pointing out that what you consider to be its big flaw is actually a huge selling point for me, personally.

Disagreeing is fine, because I’m obviously trying to talk about the album in a different way to most of the other reviews, but I think the simplest argument from my review has been picked up, which is that the long-form writing approach was bad in its own right. That’s obviously not true, and I had argued before that to say that some of the “building” elements never climax, which makes the long-form approach seem like a waste of time.

I don’t think that the 100% fans are overlooking flaws per se, I just feel that for an album with such positive feedback, someone should look at the reasons why The Gathering Wilderness might be disliked and where it falls short. I sort of hold both opinions, because that album catches me very differently in different moods.

Originally, I was commenting on the idea of "scissoring" down the album from an hour to 45 minutes being horrible, removed from the larger context of your critique. If you think I misinterpreted your criticism, that might actually be a valid point, and I should probably read your review thoroughly before commenting your critique overall.

Edit: To discuss the album and its composition a little further, and what you described just now about the music lacking build-ups for anything greater, and thus letting the lengthy compositions fall flat - I think it's a perfectly valid criticism to make of the album, but again, for me, that's simply an attribute of the album that gives it its own character. The majority of the songs on the album don't create a massive dramatic arc, which sets a particular pace and atmosphere for the music. Still, some of the highlights of the album are tremendously cathartic, and I feel like this criticism only applies to parts of the album anyway.
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gasmask_colostomy
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PostPosted: Thu Jun 20, 2019 8:37 am 
 

Sure, if you’re going mostly by the quotes posted here, I don’t think that sums up the whole of the review. However, my biggest criticism of that album (which I don’t think I wrote in the review) is that it’s too easy to background the music while it’s happening. That might be a trait particular to me, however.

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