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Grave_Wyrm
Metal Sloth

Joined: Sun Mar 04, 2012 5:55 pm
Posts: 3916
Location: Across the croggy plain
PostPosted: Sun Jul 21, 2019 8:36 pm 
 

Lord_Of_Diamonds wrote:
I don't force anything.

I can't even take that seriously.

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Lord_Of_Diamonds
Metal newbie

Joined: Wed Dec 12, 2018 5:23 pm
Posts: 78
PostPosted: Tue Jul 23, 2019 9:09 am 
 

Grave_Wyrm wrote:
Lord_Of_Diamonds wrote:
I don't force anything.

I can't even take that seriously.

Why not? Because I dare to go against the majority opinion if I disagree with it?
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Vadara wrote:
How can something be riffless slam when a slam, by definition, is a metal riff?

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Empyreal
The Final Frontier

Joined: Thu Nov 30, 2006 6:58 pm
Posts: 26725
Location: Where the dead rule the night
PostPosted: Tue Jul 23, 2019 9:19 am 
 

No because you write over-long reviews full of a bunch of try-hard edgy stuff about why all these bands suck and you clearly relish the negative attention from it.
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Lord_Of_Diamonds
Metal newbie

Joined: Wed Dec 12, 2018 5:23 pm
Posts: 78
PostPosted: Tue Jul 23, 2019 9:26 am 
 

Empyreal wrote:
No because you write over-long reviews full of a bunch of try-hard edgy stuff about why all these bands suck and you clearly relish the negative attention from it.

Yes, my style is blunt and as such has more of an impact, instead of trying to be all flowery. As to all the attention, when I wrote stuff like the King Diamond review, I honestly thought that nobody gave a fuck about what I had to say, and I still don’t think that anyone should give a fuck about what I have to say. There are reviews on this site that lay a beatdown on some of my favorite albums, yet you don’t see me complaining about it here.
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Vadara wrote:
How can something be riffless slam when a slam, by definition, is a metal riff?

https://therealdiamond02.bandcamp.com/ - My project - Formerly metalcore - now satire based on insipid slam, porngrind, etc.

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Acrobat
Eric Olthwaite

Joined: Fri Jul 06, 2007 8:53 am
Posts: 8303
Location: York, North Yorkshire
PostPosted: Tue Jul 23, 2019 11:17 am 
 

Lord_Of_Diamonds wrote:
TheBurningOfSodom wrote:
I'm just starting to see Petrus_Steele, Lord_Of_Diamonds, goflotsam more as a meme and less as serious reviewers. I'm not questioning their good faith, of course, it's just my impression.


Everybody still hates me that much, eh? Just wait until you see the review of Deicide's self-titled album that I'm working on.


Spoiler: show
Not enough Yngwie Malmsteen solos, brutal slams or Iron Maiden riffs - 40%
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Morn Of Solace
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Apr 01, 2014 2:19 am
Posts: 1506
Location: Italy
PostPosted: Tue Jul 23, 2019 11:25 am 
 

Lord_Of_Diamonds wrote:
Yes, my style is blunt and as such has more of an impact, instead of trying to be all flowery.


Don't lie to yourself. You don't have a style, just some spare time and an internet connection

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Empyreal
The Final Frontier

Joined: Thu Nov 30, 2006 6:58 pm
Posts: 26725
Location: Where the dead rule the night
PostPosted: Tue Jul 23, 2019 11:26 am 
 

Lord_Of_Diamonds wrote:
Empyreal wrote:
No because you write over-long reviews full of a bunch of try-hard edgy stuff about why all these bands suck and you clearly relish the negative attention from it.

Yes, my style is blunt and as such has more of an impact, instead of trying to be all flowery. As to all the attention, when I wrote stuff like the King Diamond review, I honestly thought that nobody gave a fuck about what I had to say, and I still don’t think that anyone should give a fuck about what I have to say. There are reviews on this site that lay a beatdown on some of my favorite albums, yet you don’t see me complaining about it here.


Nah your reviews are way over long. Not that you're the only one who's ever done it, but yeah there's a shitload of fat and they should be much shorter.

And regarding the attention, well, OK, if you say so - your presence on this thread definitely seems like you enjoy people bashing your reviews and that King Diamond one came off as ill-informed trolling.
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Twisted_Psychology
Metal freak

Joined: Sat May 16, 2009 8:22 pm
Posts: 4688
Location: United States
PostPosted: Tue Jul 23, 2019 1:04 pm 
 

Agonymph's Superunknown review is quite on point. Loved the Physical Graffiti comparison!
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SweetLeaf95
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Dec 16, 2014 1:19 am
Posts: 766
Location: United States
PostPosted: Tue Jul 23, 2019 2:55 pm 
 

I've been looking forward to LoD's Deicide review ever since he mentioned it. I'll say this, it actually wasn't that bad, even though I disagree with the overall thoughts on it.

The biggest issue is the scores matching the description. It's rated 50% but reads like a 75% or so.
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BastardHead
Worse than the PMRC

Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2005 7:53 pm
Posts: 9200
Location: St. Charles, Illinois
PostPosted: Tue Jul 23, 2019 11:17 pm 
 

LoD's problem is similar to what I used to rail on TrooperEd for all the time. In technical terms, they're both good writers with specific strengths when it comes to reviewing. And just like Ed (or at least how Ed used to be, I haven't gotten annoyed at one of his reviews in a long while), LoD constantly flip flops between showing intricate knowledge of how and why some things sound the way they are (specifically he seems to have a surprising amount of knowledge when it comes to the recording side of things) and saying batshit idiotic nonsense like the infamous King Diamond --> Deathcore comparison. I first noticed the guy from his Meshuggah review (I even brought it up in this thread somewhere) and made the same point. Obviously knowledgeable about recording/production and song construction but also blames the band for popularizing certain shred techniques as if Eddie Van Halen and Yngwie Malmsteen didn't exist. I think it's a mixture of being new-ish to metal and a propensity to stoke controversy. I was the same way once upon a time.

But let's be real dude. You mostly write negative reviews, for both classic albums and shit nobody has ever heard of, you tackled a bunch of well known/loved bands and put it in a titled series, you come into the forums abrasive and smug when you're called out, you do the whole "well if you hated that, just wait until you see what I've got coming up next!" shit. I was a teenager when I started too, I absolutely know what this is. You can say all you want that you don't relish the negative attention and that you don't do it on purpose, and I won't flat out say that you're lying, but I will say that I absolutely, 100% do not fucking believe you.
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gasmask_colostomy
Metalhead

Joined: Thu May 27, 2010 5:38 am
Posts: 612
Location: Behind the wall of fire
PostPosted: Wed Jul 24, 2019 3:42 am 
 

Let’s put it this way. Most of the guys posting in this forum are at least 25. A good number are 35. Some are older than your parents. I’m pretty sure teenagers get annoyed with this kind of drama, so just imagine how much the old people will hate it. We come here to read informative reviews about music we love: that’s why there’s been so much negativity.

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Twisted_Psychology
Metal freak

Joined: Sat May 16, 2009 8:22 pm
Posts: 4688
Location: United States
PostPosted: Wed Jul 24, 2019 8:33 am 
 

It is kinda funny how the age range has evolved over time, I remember feeling like a little kid when I registered on the forum in 2009.

To Diamonds' credit, that Helmet review is decent enough.
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TheBurningOfSodom
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Sat Jun 27, 2015 9:28 am
Posts: 6
Location: Italy
PostPosted: Wed Jul 24, 2019 1:46 pm 
 

Just to be clear, you are not earning a new enemy in me, if that's what you're searching for. I brought your name as an example for reviewers I cannot take seriously anymore, and the quantity of people answering at you reinforces my idea. Mind you, I don't even feel triggered by the majority of your reviews, since I'm not that HUGE sucker for King Diamond, or Deicide for that matter (but can understand why many people did...). I remember just wanting you to stop mentioning gratuitously EZDrummer in every review you wrote, and you stopped already, so I'm fine. Also:

Lord_Of_Diamonds wrote:
Although I assure you, everything I write is what I genuinely feel about the music in question. I don't force anything.

That's exactly what I said about not questioning the 'good faith' of reviewers. The 'forced' part was mainly about the other guys who clearly love getting trapped in discography reviews that start getting boring in a matter of a couple albums. I have no problem to believe this, but that probably means that, if you are exactly how it seems from your reviews, I'd probably not want to know you in real life. Still, this goes beyond the purpose of this site.

Guess I'll just second what BH said, sometimes your main problem lies in the attitude. Writing negative reviews is allowed indeed, but I'd prefer someone bashing my favourite albums with unassailable knowledge and logic reasoning, instead of someone just acting as he's the only one who gets it and the rest of the world is a bunch of sheeps following the wrong path.
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Vadara
Metal newbie

Joined: Wed Mar 16, 2016 11:14 pm
Posts: 159
Location: United States
PostPosted: Wed Jul 24, 2019 11:43 pm 
 

My review of Witchking's 2016 single is up. Despite loving the EP, I thought it was a piece of shit to be blunt.

There's a really awful typo in there I'm surprised whoever approved it let through. I bashed the whole thing out late at night and it's honestly a little embarrassing. I could have talked about the drums more but fuck me, the whole song sucks and they certainly weren't a standout in the slightest.

By the way, if my reviewing style reads like a bad rip-off of MutantClannfear's, I've binged like 80% of that guy's reviews and really idolize him. Same goes for BastardHead but less so.

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Napalm_Satan
Ever-Opening Flower

Joined: Sat Apr 18, 2015 4:27 pm
Posts: 3316
PostPosted: Thu Jul 25, 2019 1:06 am 
 

I'm saying this without having read your reviews but it's no biggie. There was a time where I was on a steady diet of the work of just a few reviewers too, those two being a couple of those writers. A lot of people don't have a style out of the gate (hell, some never find one) and you have to start somewhere.

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gasmask_colostomy
Metalhead

Joined: Thu May 27, 2010 5:38 am
Posts: 612
Location: Behind the wall of fire
PostPosted: Thu Jul 25, 2019 10:41 pm 
 

Just realized that Edmund Sackbauer has written over 200 reviews and all of them are scored between 90-97%, except 4 in the 80s. I don't want to start another debate about scores (still remember fighting with Bayern about this), but what the hell is that about?

Also, on the subject, where's Bayern been recently? I've missed his expected 2 reviews a day.

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SweetLeaf95
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Dec 16, 2014 1:19 am
Posts: 766
Location: United States
PostPosted: Fri Jul 26, 2019 12:39 pm 
 

I've gathered that he travels a lot. They pop up in spurts of many at a time and then he disappears for a while.
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RapeTheDead
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Mar 16, 2010 10:48 pm
Posts: 788
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Fri Jul 26, 2019 12:48 pm 
 

Vadara wrote:
By the way, if my reviewing style reads like a bad rip-off of MutantClannfear's, I've binged like 80% of that guy's reviews and really idolize him. Same goes for BastardHead but less so.


You picked some of the best in the game to idolize! I'll be giving your stuff a read if it's anything similar to that.

In other news, trying to shake off the reviewer's rust myself; it's been a bit over a year since I've written regularly and I have some ideas but I can never seem to get past the first paragraph. Anyone got any tips/ideas on how to get back on the horse after a period of inactivity?
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Twisted_Psychology
Metal freak

Joined: Sat May 16, 2009 8:22 pm
Posts: 4688
Location: United States
PostPosted: Fri Jul 26, 2019 1:12 pm 
 

RapeTheDead wrote:
In other news, trying to shake off the reviewer's rust myself; it's been a bit over a year since I've written regularly and I have some ideas but I can never seem to get past the first paragraph. Anyone got any tips/ideas on how to get back on the horse after a period of inactivity?


Find something that you just can't shut the fuck up about. The rest will come.
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RapeTheDead
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Mar 16, 2010 10:48 pm
Posts: 788
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Fri Jul 26, 2019 1:21 pm 
 

Twisted_Psychology wrote:
RapeTheDead wrote:
In other news, trying to shake off the reviewer's rust myself; it's been a bit over a year since I've written regularly and I have some ideas but I can never seem to get past the first paragraph. Anyone got any tips/ideas on how to get back on the horse after a period of inactivity?


Find something that you just can't shut the fuck up about. The rest will come.


I've tried reviewing Ashes Against the Grain or pretty much any Drudkh album several times! Either I can't properly articulate their genius, or I'd just end up rambling about unrelated shit.

I find what usually works is finding a release that I have a hot take on (i.e. i like it when others don't or vice versa) but right now the only controversy anyone cares about is Batushka, and Litourgiya falls into that "albums I can't shut the fuck up about" category....gah.

Maybe I'll just write some Metallica reviews. Seems to be where most get their start.
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colin040
Metal freak

Joined: Sat Dec 08, 2007 6:00 pm
Posts: 5645
Location: Netherlands
PostPosted: Sat Jul 27, 2019 3:41 am 
 

I don't think anyone's looking for any new Metallica reviews. :p

Seriously though; I've been on a huge review kick lately and even though I still try to write something every day, there's no way forcing to write entire reviews in one go will do. Sometimes just listening to an album and writing down whatever comes into your mind helps - then I'll try to make shit organized at one point. I've also noticed that I sometimes get ideas of albums in my mind whenever I'm going for a walk, but I'm not sure if this one help for everyone. :lol:

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SweetLeaf95
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Dec 16, 2014 1:19 am
Posts: 766
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sun Jul 28, 2019 12:37 am 
 

That's exactly what I do ^ especially now that I'm not really able to write reviews at work anymore, I'll take notes on my phone and collect my thoughts with another listen later.

EDIT: Although, I had a short kick of multiple at a time the past few days. Most of those were written in one session, but at the same time some were also back-burner albums I'd been meaning to get to for a while.
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Twisted_Psychology
Metal freak

Joined: Sat May 16, 2009 8:22 pm
Posts: 4688
Location: United States
PostPosted: Mon Jul 29, 2019 10:38 am 
 

Once again, Superchard never stops finding ways to break my heart.
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SweetLeaf95
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Dec 16, 2014 1:19 am
Posts: 766
Location: United States
PostPosted: Mon Jul 29, 2019 1:01 pm 
 

Twisted_Psychology wrote:
Once again, Superchard never stops finding ways to break my heart.


Rush?
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Five_Nails
Metalhead

Joined: Fri Dec 14, 2007 1:34 pm
Posts: 550
PostPosted: Mon Jul 29, 2019 10:34 pm 
 

"Believe it or not, Rush have always alluded me"

Yep, my heart is broken too.
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Vadara
Metal newbie

Joined: Wed Mar 16, 2016 11:14 pm
Posts: 159
Location: United States
PostPosted: Wed Jul 31, 2019 1:11 am 
 

0% Lykathea review? That's bold.

(From what I've heard of the album, it's interesting but I'm honestly not sure I'd listen to it regularly)

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nuklearkrieg
Metal newbie

Joined: Sat Aug 28, 2004 11:05 pm
Posts: 66
Location: United States
PostPosted: Wed Jul 31, 2019 4:02 am 
 

Vadara wrote:
0% Lykathea review? That's bold.

(From what I've heard of the album, it's interesting but I'm honestly not sure I'd listen to it regularly)


It's also a poor argument. Hack review, shouldn't have made it.

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NoSoup4you22
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Tue Feb 19, 2008 6:36 pm
Posts: 16
Location: United States
PostPosted: Wed Jul 31, 2019 4:12 am 
 

First off, the 0% is clearly attention seeking... Besides that, he's interpreted Elvenefris at just its face value, "happy death metal," when it in fact uses a lot of different scales and has genuinely interesting composition.

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true_death
Metalhead

Joined: Thu Sep 26, 2013 6:47 pm
Posts: 1850
PostPosted: Wed Jul 31, 2019 8:31 am 
 

Yeah, to be honest I haven't listened to that album in like 10 years, and I feel like I have a better understanding of it now than that guy does. I definitely don't think of it as some kind of jaw-dropping, eternal masterwork like many seem to - it's a good album but I can totally see why someone would not like or even hate it...that said, any way you slice it that guy provides a really piss-poor, superficial argument. It reads like he didn't give the album a proper chance to sink in and just wrote the review on a whim or for attention (which is all but confirmed by the 0% score which is totally unjustified by the writing itself :lol:).
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OzzyApu
Metal freak

Joined: Fri Oct 13, 2006 12:11 am
Posts: 10370
Location: Seattle
PostPosted: Wed Jul 31, 2019 2:45 pm 
 

Review doesn't make much sense, you're right. Very black and white, surface level understanding of emotions (and metal), which is what the entire review seems to harp on. "It failed to make me feel happy cause it has chaotic parts" line of thinking :lol: is so troll I can't help but think an alien wrote it.

He gave Behemoth's Demigod a 100% which isn't very far off from sounding similar to Elvenefris in certain regards. Vocals are about as similar, middle eastern-ish melodies, death metal, etc. So what the fuck is he talking about?
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Unorthodox
Metalhead

Joined: Sun Mar 05, 2006 8:08 pm
Posts: 1314
PostPosted: Wed Jul 31, 2019 6:59 pm 
 

I knew I'd piss off some people with the review, but whatever, I've felt this way about this album for a very long time now and just needed to get it off my chest (first listened to the album probably over 10 years ago). If 0% is attention seeking, then what about all the 100% that were given to it? That line of logic just doesn't work. Generally, people are looking at the aggregate for the score, and that album was sitting at a 96%- way too fucking high for an album I thought wasn't that good. If you disagree, write your own review and join the numerous amounts of 100% out there.

Demigod is one of my favorite albums of all time for any music genre (look at my lastfm and you'll see Behemoth is my most listened to band), and while it does use harmonic minors and have a very middle-eastern/Romanian vibe to it, the song structure and writing is way different. It's better structured. Sure, it's not nearly as complex, but often times in music I find that less is more. Plus the vocals are way different, at least to my ears.
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meshigene
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue Jul 26, 2016 4:43 pm
Posts: 92
Location: neverwhere
PostPosted: Wed Jul 31, 2019 9:25 pm 
 

I'm not sure people who do like Elvenefris would like Alcest and Deafheaven, which you cited as examples of doing "upbeat-sounding metal" (apparently the only thing Elvenefris is) right. But then I'm not a fan of any of those, so it's A-OK.
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SweetLeaf95
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Dec 16, 2014 1:19 am
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Location: United States
PostPosted: Wed Jul 31, 2019 9:55 pm 
 

0% reviews are ridiculous. I've only ever given three scores below 40% ever
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hells_unicorn
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Feb 15, 2005 8:32 pm
Posts: 2330
Location: United States
PostPosted: Wed Jul 31, 2019 11:24 pm 
 

SweetLeaf95 wrote:
0% reviews are ridiculous. I've only ever given three scores below 40% ever


There is some real crap out there that is worthy of a 0% score, though I have a hard time taking any reviewer seriously who either has no positive reviews or the majority of their material is 0% reviews. If you're just in the game to shit on other peoples' music like a bitterman clone rather than taking some time to point out some solid material, I tend to assume it to be trolling.

I've never heard Lykathea Aflame's lone LP myself, but I'm getting a bit curious and may end up taking the plunge. Can't really speak to the review's content apart from saying that it's well written enough technically speaking, and I was taken aback by the overwhelmingly positive reviews, largely from people who don't seem to be prolific writers, not to mention the tendency of recent reviews to be quite long (Petrus_Steele may as well convert his review into a biography about the band).
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Vadara
Metal newbie

Joined: Wed Mar 16, 2016 11:14 pm
Posts: 159
Location: United States
PostPosted: Wed Jul 31, 2019 11:37 pm 
 

I actually take back what I said: I am actually so impressed by this album I would review it if it didn't already have 23 goddamn reviews. It's just fascinating. Also major scale death metal often sounds scarily close to pop punk at times. I don't know any other way of describing the ending of On The Way Home (also the completely random dancebeat in the same section was...something alright).

I feel the reason for the incredibly high score is just how it sounds like nothing out there. For better or for worse, people tend to highly rate unique stuff that's still competent (that is, unique stuff that just sucks doesn't benefit from this phenomenon).

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gasmask_colostomy
Metalhead

Joined: Thu May 27, 2010 5:38 am
Posts: 612
Location: Behind the wall of fire
PostPosted: Thu Aug 01, 2019 12:32 am 
 

Unorthodox wrote:
If 0% is attention seeking, then what about all the 100% that were given to it? That line of logic just doesn't work. Generally, people are looking at the aggregate for the score, and that album was sitting at a 96%- way too fucking high for an album I thought wasn't that good.

Hang on, are you saying that your 0% was designed to take the average score down to a number you thought was reasonable? There’s no justification for doing that, especially not if you just thought the album “wasn’t that good”. That sounds like a 40% opinion to me. As an individual, you do not police the average score.

Also - and probably more valuable to your reviewing craft - no one is going to read your 0% review for a serious opinion. In a sea of 100% scores, your 0% doesn’t stand out, because it represents exactly the same kind of hyperbolic review as the others. I never read reviews that score at either extreme, unless they are written by a writer I already respect, and even then I’d prefer to read a more balanced critique to find out more about the album. As a long-time user of this site, I know the average score means jack shit, so I’ll take the time to see who has written about an album. Your name will not be the first I click on, believe me.

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Unorthodox
Metalhead

Joined: Sun Mar 05, 2006 8:08 pm
Posts: 1314
PostPosted: Thu Aug 01, 2019 3:24 am 
 

gasmask_colostomy wrote:
Hang on, are you saying that your 0% was designed to take the average score down to a number you thought was reasonable? There’s no justification for doing that, especially not if you just thought the album “wasn’t that good”. That sounds like a 40% opinion to me. As an individual, you do not police the average score.


I mean if I could bring it down to an average score I thought was good I'd bring it to a 0% because I think the album is trash. It's now at 92%, so clearly we're far from where I want it to be. Regardless, if I write a review with any sort of score, as an individual I am policing the average score. Anyone who writes a review for any album is policing the average score- that's what an average score is. I'm sure if I gave the album 100% I wouldn't be getting criticism of people saying "your review really sounds like you meant to give it an 80%, because you don't really back up the perfect score you gave it". How's this any different?

gasmask_colostomy wrote:
Also - and probably more valuable to your reviewing craft - no one is going to read your 0% review for a serious opinion. In a sea of 100% scores, your 0% doesn’t stand out, because it represents exactly the same kind of hyperbolic review as the others. I never read reviews that score at either extreme, unless they are written by a writer I already respect, and even then I’d prefer to read a more balanced critique to find out more about the album. As a long-time user of this site, I know the average score means jack shit, so I’ll take the time to see who has written about an album. Your name will not be the first I click on, believe me.


I know this is going to sound incredibly narcissistic (I wholeheartedly promise it's not the reason why I wrote the review, I wrote it on a whim and could give a fuck if anyone reads it), but I know that review will be looked at because it's in a slew of 100%. It's like reading the 1 star restaurant review in the sea of 5 star restaurant reviews. Just how it is, doesn't mean you have to agree with it or take it seriously.
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Twisted_Psychology
Metal freak

Joined: Sat May 16, 2009 8:22 pm
Posts: 4688
Location: United States
PostPosted: Thu Aug 01, 2019 8:13 am 
 

Just when I thought that response couldn't get any cringier, I noticed the Anthrax link.
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SweetLeaf95
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Dec 16, 2014 1:19 am
Posts: 766
Location: United States
PostPosted: Thu Aug 01, 2019 8:20 am 
 

Twisted_Psychology wrote:
Just when I thought that response couldn't get any cringier, I noticed the Anthrax link.


I HATE to admit it, but that did make me chuckle.

And to me a 100% review is literally just a flawless album that goes above and beyond perfect, which there are plenty of in my eyes. 0% means there is absolutely nothing worthwhile, not even so much as a single note, riff, lick, lyric, literally ANYTHING that took even half a brain cell. To me a "trash" album can still be a 40-50%. A lot of bad albums have SOMETHING that took some kind of effort, but it spawned worthless music. So comparing 0% to 100% is invalid.
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Napalm_Satan
Ever-Opening Flower

Joined: Sat Apr 18, 2015 4:27 pm
Posts: 3316
PostPosted: Thu Aug 01, 2019 8:35 am 
 

Eh I dunno about a 0 needing to having nothing worthwhile on it at all. That's a good way to measure it but if you have something like... that last Six Feet Under covers album - sure the instrumentation on it is decent (even if that has nothing to do with the band) but the vocals are so utterly abominable it's basically unlistenable. Same goes for having one good riff buried in the middle of a total trash-tier album; the music is still fundamentally worthless.

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