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SweetLeaf95
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Dec 16, 2014 1:19 am
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Location: United States
PostPosted: Thu Aug 01, 2019 10:15 am 
 

I guess, but I'd still drop them like a 5 or 10. In fact, the lowest score I ever gave was a 10% - Scorpions - Eye II Eye
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Acrobat
Eric Olthwaite

Joined: Fri Jul 06, 2007 8:53 am
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Location: York, North Yorkshire
PostPosted: Thu Aug 01, 2019 1:22 pm 
 

I think The End Complete might need a few more positive reviews.
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BastardHead
Worse than the PMRC

Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2005 7:53 pm
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Location: St. Charles, Illinois
PostPosted: Thu Aug 01, 2019 2:00 pm 
 

I'm a little suspect of anybody who thinks a particular score is invalid. That's so wild to me. There have been reviewers before who have said the best they'd do is give a 99% because "nothing is perfect" and then there are a lot of people who have a view similar to Sweetie where as long as there is one thing that isn't abominable, even as inconsequential as a below-average riff in a sea of terrible ones or "at least the band plays in tune" or something, a 0% is off the table. It just reminds me off the famous "these amps go to 11" scene in Spinal Tap but in some bizarro-reverse world where the amps only go to 9.9. Why not just make it a little bit louder and make 10 the loudest?

I'm also not a fan of people using the grading system that's generally used in American schools, where 100-90 is exceptional, 89-80 is above average, 79-70 is average, 69-60 is below average, and 59-0 is failure. That skews things so much towards a tiny twenty point window since most people aren't going to bother reviewing mediocre or bad things. You have this big range of 101 possible percentage points to award an album here, fuckin' use it. This is why I tend to rate things on the scale droneriot spells out in his profile, where 50% is basically a blank tape, and if he'd rather listen to the album than listen to silence, it's 51-100, and if he'd rather just not listen to anything than listen to the album, it's 49-0. It makes so much more sense to use 50% as a midpoint since it's literally the middle of the god damned range available to you. It's insane to me to think of 69% as a "below average" score, when I personally think the highest "below average" rating I'd give is somewhere in the high 30s or low 40s. 69% to me is more like "solid but not special", and unfortunately we have no set standard here so I'm sharing this space with people who see that exact same rating as one notch above a total failure.

None of this matters because I've already detailed the most perfect grading scale in my profile already.
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Empyreal
The Final Frontier

Joined: Thu Nov 30, 2006 6:58 pm
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PostPosted: Thu Aug 01, 2019 4:04 pm 
 

I've given several 0% scores and don't regret it or else I'd just delete or change them. I'd do it again if I heard something else that needed one, but I haven't in a while. I don't really see a point in getting worked up over scores too much - I give 100s when they're due and just go by whatever I feel is a proper score after I've digested an album.

My scoring system isn't the American school grade thing; it's more of just a sliding scale where the closer to zero it is, the worse it is - a 50-60 is an album that's OK and maybe has songs I like but overall is not good. 30-40 is bad all around but just not so much that I need to take a stand with a 0. 70ish is solid but likely just not perfect, etc.

I'm thinking of reviewing a bunch of stuff I've let accrue in my library soon that is more in the 40-50% range that is somewhat popular... it won't be edge-lord shit but rather just different perspectives and a way to exercise the reviewing muscle.
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Napalm_Satan
Ever-Opening Flower

Joined: Sat Apr 18, 2015 4:27 pm
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PostPosted: Thu Aug 01, 2019 4:23 pm 
 

The droneriot scale seems like a good one; for me it's basically just 0 - 50 means I wouldn't own it and 51 - 100 means I would. 50 is the midpoint obviously, it means that the positives and negatives don't really outweigh each other.

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SweetLeaf95
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Dec 16, 2014 1:19 am
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Location: United States
PostPosted: Thu Aug 01, 2019 4:25 pm 
 

I've actually considered reverting back to all of the numbers instead of using 5% increments.
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Twisted_Psychology
Metal freak

Joined: Sat May 16, 2009 8:22 pm
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Location: United States
PostPosted: Fri Aug 02, 2019 3:24 pm 
 

I wish there was an algorithm where I could enter in my review content and it would automatically calculate and generate a score for me. My current score feels slightly more balanced than the one I had before but it's still not perfect. Figures that my descriptions almost always stay the same even as I fluctuate percentages and letter grades.
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meshigene
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue Jul 26, 2016 4:43 pm
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PostPosted: Fri Aug 02, 2019 7:18 pm 
 

I cannot trust the taste of someone who gave The Chasm's From the Lost Years... a higher score than both Procreation of the Inner Temple and Deathcult for Eternity. :D
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colin040
Metal freak

Joined: Sat Dec 08, 2007 6:00 pm
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Location: Netherlands
PostPosted: Fri Aug 02, 2019 8:34 pm 
 

meshigene wrote:
I cannot trust the taste of someone who gave The Chasm's From the Lost Years... a higher score than both Procreation of the Inner Temple and Deathcult for Eternity. :D


I wish I could give those other two albums a higher score - The Chasm's early stuff definitely had potential but it's just ...From the Lost Years that I really enjoy.

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Grave_Wyrm
Metal Sloth

Joined: Sun Mar 04, 2012 5:55 pm
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PostPosted: Sat Aug 03, 2019 12:01 am 
 

Empyreal wrote:
I'm thinking of reviewing a bunch of stuff I've let accrue in my library soon that is more in the 40-50% range that is somewhat popular... it won't be edge-lord shit but rather just different perspectives and a way to exercise the reviewing muscle.

I'm looking forward to that. Good idea.

I'm finally starting to work on a couple new ones. I'd be interested in your feedback, Empyreal, once I get them on their feet.
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Empyreal
The Final Frontier

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PostPosted: Sat Aug 03, 2019 9:15 am 
 

meshigene wrote:
I cannot trust the taste of someone who gave The Chasm's From the Lost Years... a higher score than both Procreation of the Inner Temple and Deathcult for Eternity. :D


They only really got good with Procession to the Infraworld anyway.

Quote:
I'm looking forward to that. Good idea.

I'm finally starting to work on a couple new ones. I'd be interested in your feedback, Empyreal, once I get them on their feet.


For sure - let me know any time.
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Empyreal
The Final Frontier

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PostPosted: Sat Aug 03, 2019 12:24 pm 
 

psychoticnicholai's review of Pig Destroyer was good - concise and well-described, and made me want to try that album. Good stuff.
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Tanuki
Metal newbie

Joined: Fri Dec 09, 2016 12:36 pm
Posts: 357
Location: United Kingdom
PostPosted: Sat Aug 03, 2019 2:47 pm 
 

Empyreal wrote:
I'm thinking of reviewing a bunch of stuff I've let accrue in my library soon that is more in the 40-50% range that is somewhat popular... it won't be edge-lord shit but rather just different perspectives and a way to exercise the reviewing muscle.

Well, I'm hyped. I don't say this lightly Emp, but I think your reviews are some of the best on this site, especially for albums you didn't care for. There's some real vivid genuity behind your writing that makes you sound actually disappointed in what you're hearing, rather than just someone rubbing their palms together like a super villain and trying to piss the world off. Your review of Ghost Harvest I is hilarious (and kinda depressing for Virgin Steele fans, myself included) with how unrelentingly real it is, and that closing line gets me every goddamn time.

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korgull
Metalhead

Joined: Mon Sep 19, 2005 1:53 am
Posts: 886
PostPosted: Sat Aug 03, 2019 9:24 pm 
 

BastardHead wrote:
None of this matters because I've already detailed the most perfect grading scale in my profile already.


Very sensible system, except I'd probably put the public pool turd swallowing at zero. Also, the song Dirty Laundry is by Don Henley, not Huey Lewis.

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zeingard
Metalhead

Joined: Wed Aug 01, 2007 7:49 pm
Posts: 603
PostPosted: Sat Aug 03, 2019 10:50 pm 
 

BastardHead wrote:
None of this matters because I've already detailed the most perfect grading scale in my profile already.


Genuinely intrigued to know how long that took to write.

I still feel that the Cheeses_Priced scoring system is infallible (I can't remember which review it was from):

Above 50 = better than silence
Below 50 = worse than silence
50 = shrug?

But really, scores are utterly pointless and I honestly think they could be done away with. Well except for the plethora of 0%'s I have given because the reaction they elicit will never not be funny.
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Empyreal
The Final Frontier

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PostPosted: Sun Aug 04, 2019 8:26 am 
 

Tanuki wrote:
Empyreal wrote:
I'm thinking of reviewing a bunch of stuff I've let accrue in my library soon that is more in the 40-50% range that is somewhat popular... it won't be edge-lord shit but rather just different perspectives and a way to exercise the reviewing muscle.

Well, I'm hyped. I don't say this lightly Emp, but I think your reviews are some of the best on this site, especially for albums you didn't care for. There's some real vivid genuity behind your writing that makes you sound actually disappointed in what you're hearing, rather than just someone rubbing their palms together like a super villain and trying to piss the world off. Your review of Ghost Harvest I is hilarious (and kinda depressing for Virgin Steele fans, myself included) with how unrelentingly real it is, and that closing line gets me every goddamn time.


I really appreciate that, man, thanks. Your reviews are quite good as well.

Yeah, the Virgin Steele one in particular was a real "Lucy with the football and Charlie Brown" thing for me; I really wanted to like that stuff but it was so fucking horrible.
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BastardHead
Worse than the PMRC

Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2005 7:53 pm
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Location: St. Charles, Illinois
PostPosted: Sun Aug 04, 2019 2:10 pm 
 

zeingard wrote:
I still feel that the Cheeses_Priced scoring system is infallible (I can't remember which review it was from):

Above 50 = better than silence
Below 50 = worse than silence
50 = shrug?


In all honesty yeah that's basically the one I use. I've been attributing it to droneriot but there's a real possibility I've been wrong all these years and it was actually Cheeses who said it first. Either way, that makes the most sense and every other scoring system is pretty much pointless and arbitrary.

korgull wrote:
Dirty Laundry is by Don Henley, not Huey Lewis.


Well I'll be damned. Either way fuck that endlessly repeating one note hook.
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MatsBG
Metal newbie

Joined: Thu Oct 23, 2014 5:02 am
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Location: Norway
PostPosted: Tue Aug 06, 2019 6:53 am 
 

That Jugulator review by Ovxul felt more like an angry rant than a review. While I understand why Jugulator recieves mixed opinions, and that it is far from a perfect record, it is one thing that I simply cannot agree with is, and that is how the reviewer describes the drumming: "Almost every single song on this album is mid-paced Rock beats, which is something you learn in drumming 101."

As a drummer myself, I believe, and still do, that Jugulator is Scott Travis' best album with Priest drumwise. It is a lot more varied than Painkiller, and some of the fills and rhythms are up there with the groove and feel of Simon Phillips and Les Binks era Priest. When people talk of Painkiller (the album), they always mention how insane Travis' playing was. But if you listen to the record, it's mostly the title track that is worthy of the praise, while the rest of the album is pretty standard speed metal fare.

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Twisted_Psychology
Metal freak

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PostPosted: Tue Aug 06, 2019 8:12 am 
 

I can get thinking that the riffs are simplistic and disliking the vocals, but to say that the drums are just playing basic beats is pretty dang shortsighted. I like the album myself but I'm pretty sure most people who don't still concede that Travis did a good job.
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CannibalCorpse
Metal newbie

Joined: Fri Oct 01, 2004 3:55 pm
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PostPosted: Tue Aug 06, 2019 1:28 pm 
 

The whole review sounds like it was written by someone who got rejected at the vocalist auditions for that very album.

Just obnoxiously bad and a little embarrassing.
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NoSoup4you22
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Tue Feb 19, 2008 6:36 pm
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PostPosted: Wed Aug 07, 2019 4:23 am 
 

That Lulu review! Hilarious.

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SweetLeaf95
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Dec 16, 2014 1:19 am
Posts: 830
Location: United States
PostPosted: Thu Aug 08, 2019 8:23 am 
 

That Slipknot review is on point!
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hells_unicorn
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Feb 15, 2005 8:32 pm
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PostPosted: Thu Aug 08, 2019 5:20 pm 
 

SweetLeaf95 wrote:
That Slipknot review is on point!


I disagree, though I just gave it a less positive assessment than the two earliest reviews. Call me a cliche nu-metal hater, but I did get a degree of enjoyment out of that EP just due to the fact that it had Slipknot's name and didn't have any stupid rapping and dumb, 2-note chug riffs with a guitar tuned down to sound like a bass. :-P
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Napalm_Satan
Ever-Opening Flower

Joined: Sat Apr 18, 2015 4:27 pm
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PostPosted: Thu Aug 08, 2019 6:07 pm 
 

That EP is... so-so. Not keen on the guitar tone but the music is fine, if sloppy.

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BastardHead
Worse than the PMRC

Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2005 7:53 pm
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Location: St. Charles, Illinois
PostPosted: Thu Aug 08, 2019 6:17 pm 
 

How utterly fucking predictable that crusty oldnoob Hells would come in and completely prove the other guy's point that the only reason anybody gives even the tiniest shit about that band is simply due to the coincidence of one of the most popular bands of the late 90s/early 00s that crusty oldnoobs love to hate using the same name.

Also how exciting, another 0% review for Lulu!

Y'all need to step your fucking game up.
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Empyreal
The Final Frontier

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PostPosted: Thu Aug 08, 2019 6:27 pm 
 

That 69% for Lulu was good and in line with how I feel about it, but yeah, then another 0%, wow, never read THAT before.
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hells_unicorn
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Feb 15, 2005 8:32 pm
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PostPosted: Thu Aug 08, 2019 6:28 pm 
 

BastardHead wrote:
How utterly fucking predictable that crusty oldnoob Hells would come in and completely prove the other guy's point that the only reason anybody gives even the tiniest shit about that band is simply due to the coincidence of one of the most popular bands of the late 90s/early 00s that crusty oldnoobs love to hate using the same name.

Also how exciting, another 0% review for Lulu!

Y'all need to step your fucking game up.


:lol: You'd prefer I spend 3 paragraphs talking about myself and the world of fatherless cynics that I presume to be the head of?
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DoomMetalAlchemist
Metalhead

Joined: Mon Dec 27, 2010 6:10 am
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PostPosted: Thu Aug 08, 2019 7:00 pm 
 

Empyreal wrote:
That 69% for Lulu was good and in line with how I feel about it, but yeah, then another 0%, wow, never read THAT before.


I'll never understand the intense hatred the denizens of MA have for Lulu. Yeah, it's not that great, but it's not that bad either. I'd say it's about half the songs are good / ok. Yeah it sucks compared to Master of Puppets, but compared to St. Anger, its... like Master of Puppets. :lol:

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Empyreal
The Final Frontier

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PostPosted: Thu Aug 08, 2019 7:07 pm 
 

DoomMetalAlchemist wrote:
Empyreal wrote:
That 69% for Lulu was good and in line with how I feel about it, but yeah, then another 0%, wow, never read THAT before.


I'll never understand the intense hatred the denizens of MA have for Lulu. Yeah, it's not that great, but it's not that bad either. I'd say it's about half the songs are good / ok. Yeah it sucks compared to Master of Puppets, but compared to St. Anger, its... like Master of Puppets. :lol:


They want something safe and predictable. Not that Lulu is anything perfect by any stretch but it's also the opposite of those first two adjectives.
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Five_Nails
Metalhead

Joined: Fri Dec 14, 2007 1:34 pm
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PostPosted: Thu Aug 08, 2019 8:57 pm 
 

Thought I was seeing double for a moment, two Slipknot reviews back to back for Slipknot's 'Slipknot' but it's not the Slipknot I was thinking of.
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NoSoup4you22
Mallcore Kid

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PostPosted: Thu Aug 08, 2019 9:08 pm 
 

"Talking" vocals are pretty much bullshit wherever they turn up. Also, I was complimenting the first new Lulu review, the other one is terrible.

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Grave_Wyrm
Metal Sloth

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PostPosted: Thu Aug 08, 2019 9:45 pm 
 

BastardHead wrote:
Y'all need to step your fucking game up.

Preach.
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Twisted_Psychology
Metal freak

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PostPosted: Fri Aug 09, 2019 8:16 am 
 

Lulu is one of the rare instances of an album being "so bad, it's good." I revised my personal score from an 80% to 40% without changing a word. It's just that hard to honestly grade.
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hells_unicorn
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PostPosted: Fri Aug 09, 2019 8:35 am 
 

Grave_Wyrm wrote:
BastardHead wrote:
Y'all need to step your fucking game up.

Preach.


I refuse to heed the words of any would be preacher you uses the word "Y'all", especially in print. :-P

Twisted_Psychology wrote:
Lulu is one of the rare instances of an album being "so bad, it's good." I revised my personal score from an 80% to 40% without changing a word. It's just that hard to honestly grade.


I never really had that problem, it's just plain old terrible to my ears. Granted, I haven't really liked anything that Metallica put out between 1993 and 2016 except for the "Lords Of Summer" single., but the mixture between their modern sound and Lou Reed's vocals just didn't work for me on any level. It's nothing against Lou Reed, the combination just induced pain in my ears, gave the album another try a couple years ago on the insistence of one of my friends who worships everything Metallica has done, and nothing has changed.
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Grave_Wyrm
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PostPosted: Fri Aug 09, 2019 10:17 am 
 

But then you'll never be able to write like this..

NausikaDalazBlindaz in Vale of Amonition review wrote:
The result is that the ancient gods summoned aren't nearly as evil as they proclaim themselves to be. There are moments of feral derangement and a nutty sense of humour but those are too few and far between. If this duo can just go straight for the jugular without worrying too much whether they're ticking all the right boxes in holding us outside imperialists to account for the ruin of their homeland, and just hold us upside down until all the blood and entrails drain out, they'll be Very Evil indeed.


:thumbsup:
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hells_unicorn
Metalhead

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PostPosted: Fri Aug 09, 2019 1:31 pm 
 

Grave_Wyrm wrote:
But then you'll never be able to write like this..

NausikaDalazBlindaz in Vale of Amonition review wrote:
The result is that the ancient gods summoned aren't nearly as evil as they proclaim themselves to be. There are moments of feral derangement and a nutty sense of humour but those are too few and far between. If this duo can just go straight for the jugular without worrying too much whether they're ticking all the right boxes in holding us outside imperialists to account for the ruin of their homeland, and just hold us upside down until all the blood and entrails drain out, they'll be Very Evil indeed.


:thumbsup:


Rhetorically profound, would probably make a grand excerpt for a homage to Lovecraft. What does the album sound like again? :-P
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Rhinosaurus
Metal newbie

Joined: Sun Aug 28, 2016 2:36 pm
Posts: 86
Location: Netherlands
PostPosted: Fri Aug 09, 2019 6:50 pm 
 

1. I had a 'what the fuck' moment when I see the Slipknot reviews; course, wasn't what I initially thought.

2. For sure, the Lulu review is hilarious; course, the record is an utter joke, just like much of Metallica's misguilded ideas. Course, Metallica have been utter rubbish since about '93, so anything they do can be laughed at, including, 'we're so fucked! Allure Allure!' and 'Blacked out, pop queen amphetamine'. My god, Hardwired isn't growing on me at all.

3. dorathekiller97's Practice What You Preach review is unconvincing; it's still just middling.

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Grave_Wyrm
Metal Sloth

Joined: Sun Mar 04, 2012 5:55 pm
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Location: Across the croggy plain
PostPosted: Sun Aug 11, 2019 12:24 am 
 

hells_unicorn wrote:
What does the album sound like again? :-P

Not sure. That's the whole review.
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droneriot
incelgender

Joined: Sat Aug 28, 2004 1:17 pm
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PostPosted: Mon Aug 12, 2019 7:09 pm 
 

If a mod awarded points for the Pungent Stench and Abruptum reviews please remove them again, those were previously submitted and deleted ones, I've been looking through my old ones for ones to salvage, those were pretty much the only candidates, the only other I'll submit again is my Mortification review, but I need to edit it a bit, some of my mid-20s writing annoys the fuck out of me. Mostly a good review, just a few passages I want to patch up.
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SweetLeaf95
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PostPosted: Mon Aug 12, 2019 8:09 pm 
 

Solid take on Total Hate, Felix! Pretty much how I viewed it too.
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