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CHAIRTHROWER
Methed-burnt rogue babelfish

Joined: Sun Dec 20, 2015 7:10 pm
Posts: 466
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Wed Sep 04, 2019 11:30 am 
 

Ah, I meant your review was the doozie! I haven't in all honesty gleaned Witching Hour properly yet but shall do so...along with innumerable other acts stuffing up ye ole shortlist...
Nice Vanik review, btw! Yeah, strangely, the debut is slightly stronger than the sophomore...Thanks for covering it, as it's one more I can (gingerly) pluck off said list...(phew!, eh?).
Oh, that Crowtalker about reviewed by Nausika B. the other day rocks with a capital, super sly "R", just to let you know! Classic stoner doom metal for the immortal masses, or summat.

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SweetLeaf95
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Dec 16, 2014 1:19 am
Posts: 774
Location: United States
PostPosted: Wed Sep 04, 2019 1:09 pm 
 

Ah gotcha. Just now noticed that it was my 300th!
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CHAIRTHROWER
Methed-burnt rogue babelfish

Joined: Sun Dec 20, 2015 7:10 pm
Posts: 466
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Wed Sep 04, 2019 1:44 pm 
 

TP's super auspicious A.K. review has stirred the pot, today. I'm on that like a panther's cat nip!

(Well, that and "Corbeauparleur", eh?)

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Lord_Of_Diamonds
Metal newbie

Joined: Wed Dec 12, 2018 5:23 pm
Posts: 79
PostPosted: Sat Sep 07, 2019 10:45 am 
 

Oof, how about that new Machine Head review...? Classic case of someone trying to be the sole voice of positivity among all the negativity, but being unable to give convincing musical reasons why it's not crap. Basically, it feels like "Oh! It's nu-metal! That means it sounds good, and fuck all the people who hate it simply because it's nu-metal!"
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Vadara wrote:
How can something be riffless slam when a slam, by definition, is a metal riff?

https://therealdiamond02.bandcamp.com/ - My project - Formerly metalcore - now satire based on insipid slam, porngrind, etc.

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oneyoudontknow
Cum insantientibus furere necesse est.

Joined: Sun May 21, 2006 6:25 pm
Posts: 5077
Location: Germany
PostPosted: Sun Sep 08, 2019 3:28 am 
 

https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... noe/477243

Quote:
Peak of human creativity


Yeah ... ryght.
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droneriot
incelgender

Joined: Sat Aug 28, 2004 1:17 pm
Posts: 8800
Location: Spahn Ranch
PostPosted: Sun Sep 08, 2019 6:46 am 
 

Don't know why LoD thinks anyone would need to justify being into Machine Head's nu-metal albums. They never sold out because they always followed trends and they never dropped in quality because they always sucked. There's no "street cred" to lose, the band never had any, their only goal ever was to be a "metal" version of what Bush did with Nirvana's sound, pull all the teeth and make it as harmless as can be and hope some non-discerning kids buy it. Truth is, if you're into one Machine Head album you may just as well be into all others, they're all the same shit.
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gasmask_colostomy
Metalhead

Joined: Thu May 27, 2010 5:38 am
Posts: 624
Location: Behind the wall of fire
PostPosted: Sun Sep 08, 2019 10:46 am 
 

Nah, it's a legitimately bad review that doesn't know what it wants to say. Paraphrasing the opening sentence, it says, "This is pretty bad, but actually it's not bad." Every paragraph thereafter runs the same paradox through a word processor and comes out with a slightly different result each time.

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Vadara
Metal newbie

Joined: Wed Mar 16, 2016 11:14 pm
Posts: 159
Location: United States
PostPosted: Mon Sep 09, 2019 4:11 pm 
 

"This is their worst album but it's still good" isn't contradictory. That just means that you just think all their albums are so good that even the worst one is still good--certainly something I'd say for a few bands I like. You can question that dude's taste--I know I'd question anyone who liked nu-metal in 20-goddamn-19, but hey. Reviews aren't rejected because the reviewer is a false, after all :p

Speaking of falses, I plan to review some trve metal releases eventually...wanna knock out Gatecreeper's debut album definitely, something by Venom Prison, a Black Fast album and a few others.

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Napalm_Satan
Ever-Opening Flower

Joined: Sat Apr 18, 2015 4:27 pm
Posts: 3316
PostPosted: Mon Sep 09, 2019 5:42 pm 
 

Yeah 'worst' is a relative term. I think that review has problems but that opening statement isn't one (even if calling any Machine Head good, let alone that one, is questionable.)

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Subrick
Metal freak

Joined: Sun Sep 12, 2010 7:27 pm
Posts: 8207
Location: United States
PostPosted: Tue Sep 10, 2019 1:40 am 
 

After having read it all just now, I'm impatiently waiting for gasmask_colostomy to finally review One Second and Paradise Lost, so that his Paradise Lost discography review set is complete.
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gasmask_colostomy
Metalhead

Joined: Thu May 27, 2010 5:38 am
Posts: 624
Location: Behind the wall of fire
PostPosted: Tue Sep 10, 2019 10:40 am 
 

Subrick wrote:
After having read it all just now, I'm impatiently waiting for gasmask_colostomy to finally review One Second and Paradise Lost, so that his Paradise Lost discography review set is complete.

Well, considering it’s taken me 6 years to write all the other ones, you might want to do something while you’re waiting. A useful and productive task would be buying me those two albums :-P :-P

On the subject of that Machine Head review, yes the opening sentence is not inherently contradictory, though the rest descends into such a farce of flip-flopping that I characterized that sentence in the same way.

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CHAIRTHROWER
Methed-burnt rogue babelfish

Joined: Sun Dec 20, 2015 7:10 pm
Posts: 466
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Tue Sep 10, 2019 12:21 pm 
 

I greatly dug a couple of newbie reviews, namely spookycadaver's Cognizance_Malignant Dominion review and samtropy's for Hour of Penance_Regicide...

Also, NDB's swarthy, latest take on Furfur warrants a perusal or five, it's so winsomely written!

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Lord_Of_Diamonds
Metal newbie

Joined: Wed Dec 12, 2018 5:23 pm
Posts: 79
PostPosted: Tue Sep 10, 2019 1:56 pm 
 

gasmask_colostomy wrote:
Nah, it's a legitimately bad review that doesn't know what it wants to say. Paraphrasing the opening sentence, it says, "This is pretty bad, but actually it's not bad." Every paragraph thereafter runs the same paradox through a word processor and comes out with a slightly different result each time.


I mean, I kinda know how he must feel, trying to be positive among a ton of negativity. I’m trying to write a somewhat positive review for Car Door Dick Smash, and I can praise their recognizable sound and unique gurgling vocal style but not much else.
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Vadara wrote:
How can something be riffless slam when a slam, by definition, is a metal riff?

https://therealdiamond02.bandcamp.com/ - My project - Formerly metalcore - now satire based on insipid slam, porngrind, etc.

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Twisted_Psychology
Metal freak

Joined: Sat May 16, 2009 8:22 pm
Posts: 4693
Location: United States
PostPosted: Wed Sep 11, 2019 8:27 am 
 

"I don't think Anselmo should've apologized for something he's been shouting as far back as 2001 with Pantera when they were performing in South Korea."

I should really stop paying attention to Superchard but this sentence took that Superjoint review from cringy to yikes.
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droneriot
incelgender

Joined: Sat Aug 28, 2004 1:17 pm
Posts: 8800
Location: Spahn Ranch
PostPosted: Thu Sep 12, 2019 7:09 am 
 

You don't think it's the perfect introduction into a completely unnecessary entire paragraph about Rob Flynn? Strange.
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Lord_Of_Diamonds
Metal newbie

Joined: Wed Dec 12, 2018 5:23 pm
Posts: 79
PostPosted: Thu Sep 12, 2019 7:54 am 
 

https://www.metal-archives.com/bands/In ... 3540458000

We’ve got some reviews to write, guys.
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"Rock is a dying form of music... now let's bring it back."
Vadara wrote:
How can something be riffless slam when a slam, by definition, is a metal riff?

https://therealdiamond02.bandcamp.com/ - My project - Formerly metalcore - now satire based on insipid slam, porngrind, etc.

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SweetLeaf95
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Dec 16, 2014 1:19 am
Posts: 774
Location: United States
PostPosted: Thu Sep 12, 2019 8:07 am 
 

Eh, I'll pass.
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droneriot
incelgender

Joined: Sat Aug 28, 2004 1:17 pm
Posts: 8800
Location: Spahn Ranch
PostPosted: Thu Sep 12, 2019 9:39 am 
 

I think nobody on this forum actually cares about that type of "metal", mostly just you and Vadara who both recently appeared out of nowhere, only people who are really into ninja mosh hardcore type stuff, the rest of the people on this metal forum are mostly into metal.
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Twisted_Psychology
Metal freak

Joined: Sat May 16, 2009 8:22 pm
Posts: 4693
Location: United States
PostPosted: Thu Sep 12, 2019 10:28 am 
 

Yeah, I prefer to review things that are actually relevant to me.
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RapeTheDead
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Mar 16, 2010 10:48 pm
Posts: 788
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Thu Sep 12, 2019 12:54 pm 
 

Infant Annihilator is a joke that got old before they even had a chance to tell it. That they finally put together enough quasi-metal riffs to be deemed M-A acceptable doesn't really change much.

Are they still trendy? I figured they had peaked after that "no homo LOL" music video.
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Lord_Of_Diamonds
Metal newbie

Joined: Wed Dec 12, 2018 5:23 pm
Posts: 79
PostPosted: Thu Sep 12, 2019 1:04 pm 
 

droneriot wrote:
I think nobody on this forum actually cares about that type of "metal", mostly just you and Vadara who both recently appeared out of nowhere, only people who are really into ninja mosh hardcore type stuff, the rest of the people on this metal forum are mostly into metal.


I care about it because it is an instrument of the genre’s destruction. So I naturally feel obliged to give albums of it very low scores.
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"Rock is a dying form of music... now let's bring it back."
Vadara wrote:
How can something be riffless slam when a slam, by definition, is a metal riff?

https://therealdiamond02.bandcamp.com/ - My project - Formerly metalcore - now satire based on insipid slam, porngrind, etc.

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Empyreal
The Final Frontier

Joined: Thu Nov 30, 2006 6:58 pm
Posts: 26739
Location: Where the dead rule the night
PostPosted: Thu Sep 12, 2019 1:39 pm 
 

There is no destruction of the genre... you must not listen to that much metal if you think so.
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Ilwhyan
Metel fraek

Joined: Sat Sep 29, 2007 1:41 pm
Posts: 8006
Location: Lifeless shadows
PostPosted: Thu Sep 12, 2019 1:52 pm 
 

Lord_Of_Diamonds wrote:
droneriot wrote:
I think nobody on this forum actually cares about that type of "metal", mostly just you and Vadara who both recently appeared out of nowhere, only people who are really into ninja mosh hardcore type stuff, the rest of the people on this metal forum are mostly into metal.


I care about it because it is an instrument of the genre’s destruction. So I naturally feel obliged to give albums of it very low scores.

:lol: Yes, metal needs all the able-fingered warriors to type away on their keyboards as its guardians. The very fabric of metal is threatened, and it's up to people like you and me to protect its integrity!
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droneriot
incelgender

Joined: Sat Aug 28, 2004 1:17 pm
Posts: 8800
Location: Spahn Ranch
PostPosted: Thu Sep 12, 2019 2:07 pm 
 

True metal is TREMBLING IN FEAR at the vicious attacks of the MERCILESS ninjacore forces!! It's like NINE ELEVEN but with SIX SIX SIX times the destructive force!! We MUST RAISE OUR SWORDS like young girls in our prime!!

Personally if I wanna write a negative review I just review some actual metal that sucks that usually involves Ihsahn or someone like that, I'm not too concerned with the evil destroying forces of the ninjacore metal destruction army.
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Lord_Of_Diamonds
Metal newbie

Joined: Wed Dec 12, 2018 5:23 pm
Posts: 79
PostPosted: Thu Sep 12, 2019 2:26 pm 
 

Ilwhyan wrote:
:lol: Yes, metal needs all the able-fingered warriors to type away on their keyboards as its guardians. The very fabric of metal is threatened, and it's up to people like you and me to protect its integrity!


Yeah, you pretty much summed it up.
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"Rock is a dying form of music... now let's bring it back."
Vadara wrote:
How can something be riffless slam when a slam, by definition, is a metal riff?

https://therealdiamond02.bandcamp.com/ - My project - Formerly metalcore - now satire based on insipid slam, porngrind, etc.

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Xlxlx
Argentinian Asado Supremacy

Joined: Sat Dec 24, 2011 2:16 pm
Posts: 7905
Location: Argentina
PostPosted: Thu Sep 12, 2019 2:30 pm 
 

Lord_Of_Diamonds wrote:
droneriot wrote:
I think nobody on this forum actually cares about that type of "metal", mostly just you and Vadara who both recently appeared out of nowhere, only people who are really into ninja mosh hardcore type stuff, the rest of the people on this metal forum are mostly into metal.

I care about it because it is an instrument of the genre’s destruction. So I naturally feel obliged to give albums of it very low scores.

Sincere question here; how is metal "destroyed" by such releases? Do classic albums disappear from existence every time a new Infant Annihilator album is recorded, never to be played again? Does the content of the likes of Powerslave get replaced with breakdowns and inhaled growls?

Do tell me, please.
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Infant Annihilator are well known to sell their albums on Iron Maiden - Killers tapes that they recorded their stuff over. And they're in the process of figuring out how to burn over pressed Beherit and Darkthrone CDs.

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Empyreal
The Final Frontier

Joined: Thu Nov 30, 2006 6:58 pm
Posts: 26739
Location: Where the dead rule the night
PostPosted: Thu Sep 12, 2019 2:32 pm 
 

It doesn't matter that Atlantean Kodex, Mirror, Smoulder and other bands have released totally 100% classic metal in 2019 - weird ninja death core bands negate all of it!
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droneriot
incelgender

Joined: Sat Aug 28, 2004 1:17 pm
Posts: 8800
Location: Spahn Ranch
PostPosted: Thu Sep 12, 2019 2:32 pm 
 

Infant Annihilator are well known to sell their albums on Iron Maiden - Killers tapes that they recorded their stuff over. And they're in the process of figuring out how to burn over pressed Beherit and Darkthrone CDs.
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Xlxlx
Argentinian Asado Supremacy

Joined: Sat Dec 24, 2011 2:16 pm
Posts: 7905
Location: Argentina
PostPosted: Thu Sep 12, 2019 2:41 pm 
 

droneriot wrote:
Infant Annihilator are well known to sell their albums on Iron Maiden - Killers tapes that they recorded their stuff over. And they're in the process of figuring out how to burn over pressed Beherit and Darkthrone CDs.

Thank you for the new sig.
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droneriot wrote:
Infant Annihilator are well known to sell their albums on Iron Maiden - Killers tapes that they recorded their stuff over. And they're in the process of figuring out how to burn over pressed Beherit and Darkthrone CDs.

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droneriot
incelgender

Joined: Sat Aug 28, 2004 1:17 pm
Posts: 8800
Location: Spahn Ranch
PostPosted: Thu Sep 12, 2019 2:43 pm 
 

I find that almost offensive considering I wrote "We MUST RAISE OUR SWORDS like young girls in our prime!!" one post earlier. :lol:
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Xlxlx
Argentinian Asado Supremacy

Joined: Sat Dec 24, 2011 2:16 pm
Posts: 7905
Location: Argentina
PostPosted: Thu Sep 12, 2019 2:45 pm 
 

I did consider that one line for a bit, but honestly the dead serious deadpan of declaring that IA like to record their stuff over Killer tapes just killed me.
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droneriot wrote:
Infant Annihilator are well known to sell their albums on Iron Maiden - Killers tapes that they recorded their stuff over. And they're in the process of figuring out how to burn over pressed Beherit and Darkthrone CDs.

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droneriot
incelgender

Joined: Sat Aug 28, 2004 1:17 pm
Posts: 8800
Location: Spahn Ranch
PostPosted: Thu Sep 12, 2019 2:50 pm 
 

It's funny because we didn't have "guard against deathcore/metalcore" people on the site even when those genres were big, not even the usual suspects like Noktorn or Kruel were into it, they were doing stuff about "hipsters" taking over but not deathcore/metalcore. Now a decade after the fact we suddenly get that kind of stuff. Deathcore's gonna destroy metal you guys cause it's 2007 and stuff!!
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Xlxlx
Argentinian Asado Supremacy

Joined: Sat Dec 24, 2011 2:16 pm
Posts: 7905
Location: Argentina
PostPosted: Thu Sep 12, 2019 2:55 pm 
 

It's just a really bizarre notion, really. Like Emp said, it just makes it sound like the worry wart in question doesn't listen to much metal at all.
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droneriot wrote:
Infant Annihilator are well known to sell their albums on Iron Maiden - Killers tapes that they recorded their stuff over. And they're in the process of figuring out how to burn over pressed Beherit and Darkthrone CDs.

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Empyreal
The Final Frontier

Joined: Thu Nov 30, 2006 6:58 pm
Posts: 26739
Location: Where the dead rule the night
PostPosted: Thu Sep 12, 2019 2:58 pm 
 

That said it was always funny when metalheads were like "I'm all about the music, fuck shallow image obsessed stuff," and then hated any band that dressed like hipsters.
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droneriot
incelgender

Joined: Sat Aug 28, 2004 1:17 pm
Posts: 8800
Location: Spahn Ranch
PostPosted: Thu Sep 12, 2019 3:03 pm 
 

Empyreal wrote:
That said it was always funny when metalheads were like "I'm all about the music, fuck shallow image obsessed stuff," and then hated any band that dressed like hipsters.

Actually it makes perfect sense because that music is that exact kind of image obsessed stuff that they're saying to fuck. At least when it comes to the likes of Deafheaven when it's about the instagram-worthy band pics first and the music is just a less important appendix to that.
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Lord_Of_Diamonds
Metal newbie

Joined: Wed Dec 12, 2018 5:23 pm
Posts: 79
PostPosted: Thu Sep 12, 2019 3:09 pm 
 

Xlxlx wrote:
Lord_Of_Diamonds wrote:
droneriot wrote:
I think nobody on this forum actually cares about that type of "metal", mostly just you and Vadara who both recently appeared out of nowhere, only people who are really into ninja mosh hardcore type stuff, the rest of the people on this metal forum are mostly into metal.

I care about it because it is an instrument of the genre’s destruction. So I naturally feel obliged to give albums of it very low scores.

Sincere question here; how is metal "destroyed" by such releases? Do classic albums disappear from existence every time a new Infant Annihilator album is recorded, never to be played again? Does the content of the likes of Powerslave get replaced with breakdowns and inhaled growls?

Do tell me, please.


It is mainly because IA’s style of deathcore became far too popular despite being a joke to a point, thereby creating a generation of “metal” fans who imitated and praised it and failed to realize how artificial/shitty it actually was, both musically and sonically. The music of Infant Annihilator attempts to do far too much with far too little, and fails miserably. Despite how little effort it actually takes to program drums and play single-note chugs, it’s still hailed as the greatest thing ever by way too many. And its influence can be felt far and wide across the modern metal world, so that’s where the “destroy” part comes from.
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Vadara wrote:
How can something be riffless slam when a slam, by definition, is a metal riff?

https://therealdiamond02.bandcamp.com/ - My project - Formerly metalcore - now satire based on insipid slam, porngrind, etc.

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Empyreal
The Final Frontier

Joined: Thu Nov 30, 2006 6:58 pm
Posts: 26739
Location: Where the dead rule the night
PostPosted: Thu Sep 12, 2019 3:14 pm 
 

droneriot wrote:
Empyreal wrote:
That said it was always funny when metalheads were like "I'm all about the music, fuck shallow image obsessed stuff," and then hated any band that dressed like hipsters.

Actually it makes perfect sense because that music is that exact kind of image obsessed stuff that they're saying to fuck. At least when it comes to the likes of Deafheaven when it's about the instagram-worthy band pics first and the music is just a less important appendix to that.


Eh, that's one way to view it. I don't think Deafheaven or whoever is bad and a lot of the time it just came off like these fans I mean wanted nothing but leather and bullet belts.

L_O_D - you won't give two fucks about this stuff in like 3-4 years I am guessing, it will be embarrassing to you to look back and read this very soon.
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droneriot
incelgender

Joined: Sat Aug 28, 2004 1:17 pm
Posts: 8800
Location: Spahn Ranch
PostPosted: Thu Sep 12, 2019 3:18 pm 
 

Lord_Of_Diamonds wrote:
It is mainly because IA’s style of deathcore became far too popular despite being a joke to a point, thereby creating a generation of “metal” fans who imitated and praised it and failed to realize how artificial/shitty it actually was, both musically and sonically. The music of Infant Annihilator attempts to do far too much with far too little, and fails miserably. Despite how little effort it actually takes to program drums and play single-note chugs, it’s still hailed as the greatest thing ever by way too many. And its influence can be felt far and wide across the modern metal world, so that’s where the “destroy” part comes from.

I remember some guys who are serious half-bald geezers by now using the exact same words for Transilvanian Hunger.
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Xlxlx
Argentinian Asado Supremacy

Joined: Sat Dec 24, 2011 2:16 pm
Posts: 7905
Location: Argentina
PostPosted: Thu Sep 12, 2019 3:46 pm 
 

Lord_Of_Diamonds wrote:
It is mainly because IA’s style of deathcore became far too popular despite being a joke to a point, thereby creating a generation of “metal” fans who imitated and praised it and failed to realize how artificial/shitty it actually was, both musically and sonically. The music of Infant Annihilator attempts to do far too much with far too little, and fails miserably. Despite how little effort it actually takes to program drums and play single-note chugs, it’s still hailed as the greatest thing ever by way too many. And its influence can be felt far and wide across the modern metal world, so that’s where the “destroy” part comes from.

You do realize people are allowed to like things that you don't, right? None of what you said matters in the slightest.
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droneriot wrote:
Infant Annihilator are well known to sell their albums on Iron Maiden - Killers tapes that they recorded their stuff over. And they're in the process of figuring out how to burn over pressed Beherit and Darkthrone CDs.

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Razakel
Nekroprince

Joined: Wed Dec 06, 2006 8:36 pm
Posts: 5608
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Thu Sep 12, 2019 10:28 pm 
 

This Lord_Of_Diamonds clown gave 19% to Abigail and now he's telling us that if we don't join forces to spam-trash some random deathcore band nobody's heard of let alone cares about then the very integrity of metal is at stake. That's really all that needs to be said.

Yeah, after scrolling through some of this cringelord's reviews, this is painful. "The Album that Killed Modern Metal", or "Bands like this are the reason that metal is dead." As Xlxlx said already, bad music doesn't negate good music. No one gives a shit about the crappy bands you throw tantrums over. It also doesn't help that your taste sucks, even though that's beside the point. Go home.

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