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The Official Review Discussion Thread
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Author:  Bloodstone [ Tue Mar 29, 2005 5:09 am ]
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Gabometal86 wrote:
Bloodstone wrote:
OlympicSharpshooter wrote:
Bloodstone wrote:
yogibear wrote:
Scarred_Soul wrote:
I like Bloodstone's reviews. Long and informative :)


Question? why is it that some reviews are rather long while others are shorter? i had things i wanted to say on a couple of reviews but it seems to limit the number of words while i've read some reviews that were like twice the length of reviews i submitted.


Yeah, good review =/= long review. Most of my reviews, the early ones in particular, are for the most part too long for their own good; but I usually realize this about a month or so after posting them. :bang:


*whispering* Edit? ;)


I've considered that, but then it's always crossed my mind that I might as well write a review for another album instead and do more good that way. :lol:

However, I've actually changed my mind a bit about Testament - The New Order, so maybe rewrite that one...all the other albums I've reviewed back when I was starting out I still have pretty much the same opinion about today.


you´ve changed your mind for better or for worse on The New Order?


:(Worse...first of all my ratings system looks slightly different today from when I started out and thus a 94% has a bit of a higher meaning than it did a year ago.

Then, in the review, I sorta didn't detract that much pointage for the many flaws it struggles with. Similarity between songs, repetitive drumming, acoustic interludes that corrupt the flow, some songs that are just a bit weaker, etc.

However, I did spin the album for the first time in a long while just maybe a week ago and found out that most of those riffs, surprisingly, are still thoroughly pwning me the same way they did back in the day (=early 2003, but anyway;)). So maybe still an 88% or so; that would still make it equally to the classic "The Legacy".

Damn, better not waste my strengths 'til I actually get around to write that review...:uh oh:

Author:  Gabometal86 [ Tue Mar 29, 2005 10:37 pm ]
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Bloodstone wrote:
Gabometal86 wrote:
Bloodstone wrote:
OlympicSharpshooter wrote:
Bloodstone wrote:
yogibear wrote:
Scarred_Soul wrote:
I like Bloodstone's reviews. Long and informative :)


Question? why is it that some reviews are rather long while others are shorter? i had things i wanted to say on a couple of reviews but it seems to limit the number of words while i've read some reviews that were like twice the length of reviews i submitted.


Yeah, good review =/= long review. Most of my reviews, the early ones in particular, are for the most part too long for their own good; but I usually realize this about a month or so after posting them. :bang:


*whispering* Edit? ;)


I've considered that, but then it's always crossed my mind that I might as well write a review for another album instead and do more good that way. :lol:

However, I've actually changed my mind a bit about Testament - The New Order, so maybe rewrite that one...all the other albums I've reviewed back when I was starting out I still have pretty much the same opinion about today.


you´ve changed your mind for better or for worse on The New Order?


:(Worse...first of all my ratings system looks <i>slightly</i> different today from when I started out and thus a 94% has a bit of a higher meaning than it did a year ago.

Then, in the review, I sorta didn't detract that much pointage for the many flaws it struggles with. Similarity between songs, repetitive drumming, acoustic interludes that corrupt the flow, some songs that are just a bit weaker, etc.

However, I did spin the album for the first time in a long while just maybe a week ago and found out that most of those riffs, surprisingly, are still thoroughly pwning me the same way they did back in the day (=early 2003, but anyway;)). So maybe still an 88% or so; that would still make it equally to the classic "The Legacy".

Damn, better not waste my strengths 'til I actually get around to write that review...:uh oh:


Yeah. I´d probably do the same, i had given it like a 90% and it´s not that I had changed my mind about the greatness of the album. But my score rating system had changed a bit in the last 3 months and so 90% si a bit of a high score. I guess i´ll rate it with an 88 or 87% too.

Author:  Scarred_Soul [ Mon Apr 04, 2005 10:01 pm ]
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This review is just so funny in the way it is an interview style

Quote:
Advice for former mallcore band. - 73%
Written by PseudoGoatKill on September 19th, 2004


Dear, GoatKill;

I am the vocalist for the uprising band Chimaira. At first we were a mallcore band, but now we play true metal. Unfortunately there are many people who do not like this band, and do not see us as a true metal band. We incorporate groove style riffs into our songs, and I growl alot in the songs. Why do many metal heads hate us?

Signed- Vocals of Reason.

Dear, Vocals of Reason;

Has it ever occurred to you, that people may hate your music because you still have alot of mallcorish roots? While there are plenty of metal elements in your songs you still hold onto mallcore values. You sing about misery and misanthropy, but half the time you sound whiny and pathetic. If you want more people in the metal scene to embrace you as a vocalist, stray away from the emo qualities you display in the song "Pure Hatred" especially when you sing "I hate everyone!" over again. Your distorted vocals are also weak, and raspy. Stick with doing clean vocals like you displayed in "Down Again". At least then you display some qualities of Fear Factory.

Signed-PseudoGoatKill.

Dear GoatKill;

We are the guitarists for Chimaira. For our 2003 release "The Impossibility of Reason" we decided to become more metal. We then hear from true metal fans that we still hold on to nu-metal roots. We think we've adapted our guitar playing to the likes of metal. What do you think?

Signed-Impossible Guitarists.

Dear, Impossible Guitarists;

I listened to your CD, and I have to say that with some more work you could become a great guitarist. As it stands now the groove style metal riffs you play are sub par next to the likes of Lamb of God's guitarists, and mouse shit next to the likes of the guitarists for M.O.D, and Anthrax. In the lot of these songs you play one single chord, and then play riffs around this one chord. After a while it gets especially boring. I can't stand to listen to "The Impossibility of Reason" because you rehash the same chords and riffs over and over again. If you want the underground to love you more, play more in the way you did on "Implements of Destruction" on that song you actually play some catchy groove style riffs. The acoustic solo in the intro is awesome, and catchy. You play a nice clean arpeggio scale like riff in the intro, then you switch to the electric guitar and you keep the same arpeggio type riff going. This sounds like the only song where you play more than one riff, and one chord. With the amazing talent displayed on this one song, it's a shame you didn't incorporate it into the other songs. You have potential, but it is untapped and become stale. I hope you improve in the future.

Signed - PseudoGoatKill

Dear, GoatKill;

This is the bassist for Chimaira. Am I a good bassist?

Signed - The Bassist.

Dear, The Bassist;

Let's put it this way; you're not as bad as the bassist for Darkest Hour, yet you're really not that exciting. You don't play any good bass riffs, and only serve to follow the guitars. In some songs this is good, while in others it is not good. It would have been nice to hear some thrash style, or groove style bass riffing from you. No such luck however. It truly is a shame.

Signed - PseudoGoatKill

Dear, GoatKill;

I am the drummer for the band Chimaira. I have played in several other bands such as M.O.D; Dying Fetus; Soils of Fate; and Misery of Index. With this recent move to Chimaira I'm beginning to wonder if I made a mistake. Should I have gone to a more metal band?

Signed - Confused drummer.

Dear, Confused.

I believe that you are the pure metal element of this entire CD. In a nutshell your drumming is a head banging, foot tapping good time. To be more precise; you play plenty of double bass drum riffs, but succeed in not going overboard with them. You also keep from doing too many of the typical blast beats that are often than not a plague for many metal bands such as Impaled Nazarene. Your drumming follows a nice four beat pattern that stays in 1/4 time, occasionally going in 1/8 timing. Don't change your drumming style; it is the best thing on the entire CD.

Signed - PseudoGoatKill.

Stand out tracks: Cleansation; Down Again; Implements of Destruction; Criminal.

Avoid: The Impossibility of Reason; and Pure Hatred.

Author:  yogibear [ Tue Apr 05, 2005 5:17 pm ]
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heh cool review structure

i likes it :)

Author:  PseudoGoatKill [ Tue Apr 05, 2005 10:17 pm ]
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That seems to be the favorate review of mine, and yeah I decided to do it in an advice column type structure.

Author:  Gabometal86 [ Wed Apr 06, 2005 5:34 pm ]
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I like it a lot, nice formatting. I still can´t recall any bad review by PGK. And you?.

Author:  PseudoGoatKill [ Wed Apr 06, 2005 5:45 pm ]
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You obviously missed the fiasco way back when someone wanted my Darkest Hour review rejected because I gave it a 0%.

There's a few reviews that I want to re-write. My Alchemist one comes to mind.

Author:  OlympicSharpshooter [ Thu Apr 07, 2005 4:39 pm ]
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I was thinking about reviews I've enjoyed in the path, and BARD_Jean_Pierre's The Sound of Perseverence is as wonderful as I remembered. Great stuff.

Author:  electric27 [ Mon Apr 11, 2005 4:50 pm ]
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I'd just like to say that OSS's Angel of Retribution review almost made me cry. I think the review's actually better than the album.

Author:  OlympicSharpshooter [ Mon Apr 11, 2005 5:31 pm ]
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electric27 wrote:
I'd just like to say that OSS's Angel of Retribution review almost made me cry. I think the review's actually better than the album.


Hey man, great to see you liked it. That album made me feel a lot of things because Priest's catalogue is one that makes me feel a lot of emotion. Not that its all that emotional, but more because I feel every fuck up in my gut after how feckin' brilliant those first coupla years were.

Author:  stickyshooZ [ Mon Apr 11, 2005 5:37 pm ]
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I just read PGK's Angel of Retribution review and was left amused, because a lot of it is true. Though I don't entirely agree with the review, it's a pretty good one. I especially love the analysis of Lochness. :P

Author:  OlympicSharpshooter [ Mon Apr 11, 2005 5:41 pm ]
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stickyshooZ wrote:
I just read PGK's Angel of Retribution review and was left amused, because a lot of it is true. Though I don't entirely agree with the review, it's a pretty good one. I especially love the analysis of Lochness. :P


Yeah, that bit was freakin' inspired. That paragraph alone justified the rest of the review (which was quite solid and worth reading anyway).

Author:  PseudoGoatKill [ Tue Apr 12, 2005 12:50 am ]
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OlympicSharpshooter wrote:
stickyshooZ wrote:
I just read PGK's Angel of Retribution review and was left amused, because a lot of it is true. Though I don't entirely agree with the review, it's a pretty good one. I especially love the analysis of Lochness. :P


Yeah, that bit was freakin' inspired. That paragraph alone justified the rest of the review (which was quite solid and worth reading anyway).


:D, thanks guys. :nods:

Author:  dragons_secrets [ Tue Apr 12, 2005 12:53 am ]
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I must say, OlympicSharpshooter's new review of Rush's Permanent Waves is highly outstanding, and to put it bluntly, one of the best reviews I've ever read in the archives altogether :metal:

Author:  OlympicSharpshooter [ Wed Apr 13, 2005 9:18 pm ]
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http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=30425#7443

You know, I never thought that Nightgaunt was a reviewer. I always thought of him as, you know, the mod who cleans the Oven and is stingy with his eights. Here I find that not only is he a reviewer, but a hell of a good one. Consider this Azrael (US) - Into Shadows Act I : Denial review, He exemplifies all of the qualities he looks for in accepting reviews, and technically this sucker is near flawless. It feels totally polished, and other than the massive paragraph block in the middle it is a hell of a read. Excellent stuff.

Author:  Scarred_Soul [ Mon Apr 18, 2005 10:43 pm ]
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Yeah very good review. Maybe a little to technical for me at times though heh

Author:  Faustcoven [ Tue Apr 19, 2005 9:49 pm ]
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Gutterscream is quickly becoming one of my favourite reviewers. I like the way he paints a background for the reader rather than just jump straight in to the description of the music. Overall, his style is a very engaging read.

Here are a couple of my favourites

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=3094#29772
http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=4841#29772

It would be nice if he wrote a few more negative reviews, though.

Author:  Gabometal86 [ Wed Apr 20, 2005 6:32 am ]
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I like his Celtic Frost review a lot.

Author:  Scarred_Soul [ Wed Apr 27, 2005 1:25 pm ]
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Requiem99's new review for Pagan mind is really good. i want to go out and buy it now :metal

Author:  OlympicSharpshooter [ Thu Apr 28, 2005 3:47 pm ]
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Yep, that's an excellent review.

As is this one by Diabolical_Vengeance:

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=11917

Long but very readable and informative. I want to hear this stuff now.

Author:  OlympicSharpshooter [ Fri Apr 29, 2005 10:29 pm ]
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And a pair from Radagast. He's only written three so far and the other is quite weak, but I'm really digging these two.

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=24894#22927
http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=68138#22927

Author:  ~Guest 3496 [ Sat Apr 30, 2005 12:00 am ]
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Faustcoven wrote:
Gutterscream is quickly becoming one of my favourite reviewers. I like the way he paints a background for the reader rather than just jump straight in to the description of the music. Overall, his style is a very engaging read.

Here are a couple of my favourites

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=3094#29772
http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=4841#29772

It would be nice if he wrote a few more negative reviews, though.

I was about to make a post recommending Gutterscream as well. I dig his descriptions of flipping through records at stores and finding the album in question. Not to mention that the musical description he does is high-grade. Very solid, standout reviews.

Author:  Manu_SwordMaster [ Sat Apr 30, 2005 6:46 am ]
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Hehaehae.. Very funny and correct review:

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=1101

Gah.... That Singer!!!! - 30%
Written by JohnGargo on March 19th, 2003

I'll be the first to admit that I'm not an expert on all things Kamelot... This is my first and, probably, the last album I'll ever purchase from this band. Hmmm, where do I start? Let's start with the music... well, it's generic power metal. That's basically it... there's nothing really exceptional about the instrumentation on this album... Take any other power metal album you've ever heard, strip it of it's more exciting moments and you've got the idea. Hey, I love power metal just as much as the next guy, but there has to be something there to hold my attention, and the only vibe this album gives off is of a band going through the motions... Where's the emotion? The enthusiasm? The power?!?!

Oh wait, I know.... The answer to that question is Mark Vanderbilt, easily one of the most annoying singers I've come across in metal. Oh where to begin with this character... This is one of those examples where poor singing absolutely ruins the music for me... Yes, there is such a thing as being TOO emotional when you're singing, and this guy takes the cake. A lot of people accuse Matt Barlow of Iced Earth to be guilty of having an overly-melodramatic singing voice, but I'm guessing most of these people never had to endure a terrible performance by Vanderbilt... He throws his voice around as if he's confident that he can hit those high notes. Oh, he hits them all right, but only about half the time.... can you say "out of tune?" It's almost painful to listen to... Sorry pal, but you're no Bruce Dickinson...

Then, there's the abnoxious way this guy pronounces words. I can't emphasize enough how much this gets on my nerves!!! It sounds like the guy is trying to take a shit... Here's an example from the song "Black Tower..."

Oh Black Towaaaaahhh, what is your powaaaahhhh?
What makes men ruuun and hiiieeeede?
I've foreseen the eeeeeviilll in the
Deeeeeyead of the niiiiiiiiight
As the demons they daaance in my miiieeeiiiind!!!

Ugh... That says it all, I think...
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

The description of the singer's voice is what I agree completely...
And I remember listening to Black Tower and thinking: What the hell is wrong with this guy??? Is he being serious??? Is he trying to hard???

Author:  Scarred_Soul [ Tue May 03, 2005 5:18 pm ]
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Haha Osheaman's system has failed review is hilarious

Quote:
Chapter 10 - Wait! I don't have enough money yet!! - 79%
Written by OSheaman on March 8th, 2005


Disclaimer: Yes, this is a gimmick. Yes, it's only for Megadeth's full-length releases. Yes, the sound and tracks are still described. Yes, it's just my little way of getting attention. Yes, you can kiss my ass if you don't like it.

DAVE MUSTAINE'S BIG EGO

Chapter 10: Wait! I don't have enough money yet!

So Dave had been "retired" for several years now and he was living large. He had plenty of money and gorgeous women, he was a celebrity . . . he had everything. All he had to do was make the occasional TV appearance and he was set for life.

One day, however, while our enterprising hero was on VH1 doing I Love the Eighties or I Love the Eighties Returns or I Love the Nineties Part Deux or I Love Last Week or whatever the hell it was, a thought struck. That pile of money sitting at home just wasn't big enough. Something had to be done. And then, in a flash of brilliance, Dave realized how to solve his dilemma: a revival album.

What a great idea! Dave was so proud of himself. He would call it The System Has Failed and it would be a collection of easy-to-play Hard Rock songs (his hand, after all, was still "injured") with lots of sound clips and cool production thingies that people with money could afford. To Dave's thinking, it couldn't be any worse than St. Anger, and look how much money Metallica got from that!

So Dave collected all of his bandmates and started recording songs. He even got a keyboardist to record stuff for some of his songs, like The Scorpion. True, Dave had said in one of his VH1 interviews that Keyboards are for pussies and that no real metal band used keyboards, but there was money to be made, and besides, nobody watched that shit anyway. Dave used some of that magic production juice to make his voice sound a lot less irritating than it had on previous albums, and he made the songs accessible and singalong, perfect for the radio, complete with fake newscast samples to hold their attention.

The result was perfect. The album itself was only mildly offesive to the metal community Dave had long left, and the public ate it up. Dave made EVEN MORE money, and, his ego properly satisfied, he left the studio to do a few tours and bow out again.

THE END?


Author:  GoD [ Thu May 05, 2005 8:48 pm ]
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weeman's deicide review was rather quirky

Author:  OlympicSharpshooter [ Sat May 07, 2005 3:36 pm ]
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The latest round of chaossphere reviews are quite excellent, as we've come to expect from him.

Author:  Abominatrix [ Mon May 16, 2005 2:19 pm ]
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The Navy Blue Vicar is a funny guy. I like his Gorguts "Obscura" review very much. His reviews might not be the most organised or literary but they have a certain something to them that makes them appealing and enjoyable to read. Hope he does more.

Author:  failsafeman [ Mon May 16, 2005 3:40 pm ]
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Abominatrix wrote:
The Navy Blue Vicar is a funny guy. I like his Gorguts "Obscura" review very much. His reviews might not be the most organised or literary but they have a certain something to them that makes them appealing and enjoyable to read. Hope he does more.


Definitely. His review for "Obscura" makes me want to go back and edit my shitake review.

Author:  Byrgan [ Sun May 22, 2005 10:51 pm ]
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http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=17289#13533

Now that's innovation! He has so many descriptions going on at once. He could have almost wrote a small book if he wanted to.

Author:  GoD [ Mon May 30, 2005 12:38 am ]
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Gutterscream's a good reviewer. I don't share his tastes, but he's a fluent, informative writer.

Author:  Gabometal86 [ Mon May 30, 2005 1:14 am ]
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I had probably mentioned this bafore but as no one really pays attention to what I have to say, so I´ll repeat it again.

Gutterscream is one of my favourite reviewers by far. He is one of the most resourceful, organized and verbose reviewers on the page. He shows a good range of vocabulary and structure, with a brillant use of cohesive devices and a consistently appropiate register. He may not be a flawless reviewer but his reviews have a very positive effect on the target reader (in this case, me).

I wish my reviews were half as good as his reviews are.

Author:  KayTeeBee [ Sat Jun 04, 2005 7:34 pm ]
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Gabometal86 wrote:
I had probably mentioned this bafore but as no one really pays attention to what I have to say, so I´ll repeat it again.

Gutterscream is one of my favourite reviewers by far. He is one of the most resourceful, organized and verbose reviewers on the page. He shows a good range of vocabulary and structure, with a brillant use of cohesive devices and a consistently appropiate register. He may not be a flawless reviewer but his reviews have a very positive effect on the target reader (in this case, me).

I wish my reviews were half as good as his reviews are.


It's not that noone cares about what you have to say, it's that noone reads this topic ;).

Author:  KayTeeBee [ Wed Jun 08, 2005 3:27 pm ]
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The new Meshuggah review rules. (By Wahsinn).

Author:  Wahnsinn [ Tue Jun 14, 2005 3:49 am ]
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UltraBoris' review of Damnation And A Day by Cradle Of Filth is really really good I think. It definately converted me / allowed me to see the light.

Author:  OlympicSharpshooter [ Sat Jul 02, 2005 6:03 pm ]
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The Ecthalion - In the Embrace of Nocturnity review is quite good. I just wrote a review for it, but the first one is quite good.

Author:  stickyshooZ [ Sat Jul 02, 2005 6:20 pm ]
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I wonder where Vim Fuego went. He was one of my favorite reviewers...

Author:  stickyshooZ [ Thu Jul 14, 2005 8:09 pm ]
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InstinctKill's review for Rust in Peace is rather good.

Author:  Peregrin [ Fri Sep 09, 2005 3:08 pm ]
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stickyshooZ wrote:
InstinctKill's review for Rust in Peace is rather good.


I really like the same person's review for Awaken The Guardian.

Author:  OlympicSharpshooter [ Fri Sep 09, 2005 3:25 pm ]
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Peregrin wrote:
stickyshooZ wrote:
InstinctKill's review for Rust in Peace is rather good.


I really like the same person's review for Awaken The Guardian.


All of the ATG reviews are good, particularly IK and Requiem's. Boris' review is good too for that matter, since its one of the ones where he bothered to write more than 200 words.

Author:  Gutterscream [ Sat Sep 10, 2005 7:37 pm ]
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I've only been on the site since mid-Feb. of this year, so I'm still reading the vast number of reviews on it, but three that caught my eye and I can remember their authors are (for some reason I can't post the direct links as it keeps bringing me back to the main page)

Olympicsharpshooter's reviews of Anacrusis - Reason
Abominatrix's Deep Purple - Book of Taliesyn
Gabometal86's Voivod - War and Pain and his trouncing of it.

A lot of the ones here with direct links or recommendations are solid, like Dybrar's (as pointed out by Byrgan) and the two by Radagast (via OlympicSharpshooter, whose recommended reviews of Rush's Permanent Waves and Priest's Angel of Retribution are fantastic and don't skimp on description, background, personal opinion, and third person view). Radagast introduced me to the word "gormless".

One reviewer, I believe it was Gabo, described one song's rhythm or melody as 'a camel floundering in a river' that has stuck with me.

Keep recommending reviews for this thread as you find them. I probably wouldn't have read half of these if they weren't brought to my attention, and most people who're regulars on this particular thread won't mind reading singled-out appraisals even if it just brightens their day a watt.
If you can get people to read reviews of bands/styles they aren't really interested in, then you're doing something right.

As for me, I have been known to over-write a bit, wax on the verbose side, and I can be the flag-waver of the run-on sentence, depending on my mood and creative verve (and I'll sacrifice proper structure or a non-word for a sentence/idea's flow anyday). For about ten years I had to review what other people wanted, so now I just do whichever ones hit me at the moment (most of which I never had to write about to any extent before), but I have been trudging through a few of the crappier releases lately. Sometimes they're the most fun. I'm just glad people like some of the reviews, look forward to reading them, tolerate my occasional nostalgic wanderings, and if all goes well, galvanize one or two people to pick up the lp/cd they're reading about.

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