It happens from time to time. The mods get busy, so the only reviews that pop up are from users who are Scribed. Nothing to worry about.

A lot of times there's only one mod working the queue, and it's usually Derigin nowadays, who also does tons of other work and has a very busy real life. It gets backed up sometimes but we always catch up. I did a chunk the other day when I had some free time and wound up rejecting or just passing over like 80% of them so sometimes you just get lucky with a good batch and other times it's a bunch of ESL first timers with a lot of grammar problems. C'est la vie and all.

Vulgar Display is easily my favorite Pantera album. I definitely agree with Walk being the weakest song, but even that one I still love, if only because of the solo on it. To me, the Pantera that matters most is everything from I Am The Night - Vulgar Display. Big chunk in the middle of their discog.

Thanks Colin. That album is clearly not perfect, but has legions of 100% scores. To be honest, those scores motivated me to review it (and to look at Gorement more carefully).

I had long thought that album was kinda average, so I was reading those reviews wondering whether I had missed something. I decided to re-listen to the whole Gorement discography to see if I was wrong. Turns out that I was wrong, that album is much better than I thought. Still, it is nowhere near the best of its type. Good band, they just need some more measured praise.

Yo, D.Fang! Thanks for allowing me to scratch Konquest_The Night Goes On from my eternally long short reviewing short list, as you basically summed up its gist in a nutshell. I was tempted to interject i.e. come up with follow-up review, towards the end - something about the guitar tones' general freshness (not witchfinder) and plump smoothness of the bass - but you managed to pump that primordial info out, at the very end.

Good save! (Although I'd score it 85% minimum, maybe even 90%).

Also liked how Hell's U. wrapped up with scarlet bow the following, in his Trial (SWE) write-up (a Swedish trad metal band which evaded my dragnet thus far, but no longer!):

"While some have been wont to dismiss the revival of old school heavy metal that has been making the rounds for the past decade or so, more discerning minds have rightly noted this phenomenon as being less an attempt at reliving the past so much as recapturing it and bringing it into a present context. Though it is easy to note the influences of such popular leaders and early proponents of this craze like Wolf and Ram, what they do is less an act of paying tribute to the icons of the 80s and more along the lines of writing the songs within the same stylistic template that were never given the chance to be written during the sub-genre’s original heyday..."

Why can't the dismissers see the light, eh?

p.s. What's with the "wont"? Is such a vestigial lexicon remainder from a visit to England, or summat?

p.p.s. Am duly tempted to take up B-Head's Pantera_Vulgar challenge i.e. finally write up sane and/or sensible review in its punched out regards!

(There I go with the hand-forced commitments, again!)
First, though, I think some Merciful Trouble assuaging is in order...

I keep telling to myself that every time I make fun of a new reviewer is gonna be the last one, but...

...if you're out of motivation to get drunk alone at home, read a Pantera review by Anus_Canis and take a shot every time he talks about "kicking ass". Maybe gonna try it this evening.

Actually, let's not. I wouldn't even make it halfway through without dying from alcohol poisoning

I'm still (sorta) wondering how will he feel the day he'll eventually discover this thread

I just hope he doesn't find my post on him in the "Reviewers to Avoid" thread.

Uh yeah, totally forgot about that thread lol. Guess he's not gonna have a boost of self-confidence in any case...

I fully expect a 100% review of The Blackening from him to come sooner or later.

Cheers man (and also thanks for the other comments!).

Or Soulfly's "Primitive".

If he's a Machine Head fan, there's a chance Catharsis will earn its absolute first positive score...

Well, reviewers taking pride from negative feedback do indeed exist, so who knows

Much obliged, D.Fang!

Oh, here, a promising new band (name) yields wackest album cover ever:

https://www.metal-archives.com/albums/S ... don/915855

(We should a caption contest, here!)

Four guys on the dancefloor sharing a though: "Where's that goddamn loo!!??!"

So I just took a look at MadThrashingDeath666's reviews on a band called Hot Zone, and that band is "odd" to say the least...

Also, MadThrashingDeath666 (if you so happen to be reading this), you have some potential to make some great reviews. What other albums do you plan on reviewing in the future?

And now, another new band worthy of John Malkovich:

https://www.metal-archives.com/albums/I ... ren/920510

(Maybe I should start relegating these quirks to the appropriate thread. Is there one? I'll have to look!)

Just read this review. Got me to listen to Karen's metal band. Definitely what I expected from a Karen-themed album.

EDIT: Review was deleted

EDIT 2: The review's now back up.

Band added: 2021-01-31 18:01:49
First review: 2021-02-01 (rating: 0%)

We may well have broken a record here.

The Karen thing is such an overdone hack "joke." Ugh.

Haha! The review was also hilarious and well written, I can't think of another review so negative that it actually made me check the album. And... yikes.

Also:
Second this (both the "peculiar" band and the good writing). But I must admit, this band is gold if compared to the above. Definitely not my best day in terms of "musical discoveries"

I'm fairly certain I spent longer writing the review than they did on the music.

And I spent about 40 minutes.

Thanks for the review of the review.

Darn, the review's gone. I'm sad now, as I didn't get to read it.

It's back. Reminds me of something I'd write when I started out.

Good thing I saved the review on the Wayback Machine. I always save my reviews on the Wayback Machine so in case something happens to them or my account, they'll always be there.

I ended up listening to a song from the album and it's every bit as awful as the review says it is. It sounds like it was recorded with an iPhone, the band can't keep time with each other, and the vocals are basically just a drunk-sounding guy ranting in a not-at-all-harsh voice.

Shoutout to my boy Chairthrower for reviewing the same album as me (Live Sacrifice by Screamer) and referencing my review several times. Also shoutout for describing the album much more eloquently than I did

Also, as you wondered in your review, the song No Sleep 'til Hamilton is in fact about our Ontario town. Here's an excerpt from my interview with the band:



Interestingly, the "story" the band's singer tells about Monte Carlo Nights on the live record sounds pretty much the same as this story about No Sleep 'til Hamilton. How often are these guys wandering the streets at night?

I guess it goes to show how, in reality, it's no picnic subsisting through tours in far-off lands, so the band went with the script and turned both "nuits blanches" i.e. sleepless nights into bona fide/high drive (five-alive) fist-pumpers!

Went I saw yours, didn't hesitate to act, as I'd already been strongly considering making it my next review...

Great album, great times...a dude I met and had a beer with in Osoyoos who was from Ham town told me, sardonically as Hell, that when someone got hit by a car there, not only was it hit & run, but the driver would back up, and run them over, again, for good measure, before taking off...

Any other suggestions on some bands I can do for an album review series? I did one with Mortiis and it was fun to look at the different genres and styles he did over the years.

I do series of reviews about particular scenes (like Baguette Doom, 21 reviews about French doom so far) or just different concepts, like I did one about tapes I had that were virgins on MA. I love it.

The artists who change a lot over time are always interesting to cover in this way, although you've got to be careful that you're not someone who doesn't like part of the transition. I've already reviewed all the full-lengths of Paradise Lost and My Dying Bride (thinking of rounding out Katatonia with a couple more), but those early '90s doom or death bands that changed could be pretty cool to cover across the whole discography. Depending what you're into, maybe The Gathering, Anathema, Crematory, Tiamat...

Honestly? Firewind's a band I've been wanting to do a discog coverage for for quite some time, mainly because of the changes over each and every album. Besides that, maybe Amon Amarth? I'd tried with other bands like Malevolent Creation and All That Remains, but the only successful run I had was with Spidrax.

Doomcave's a special exception.

Somebody got any commas to lend? https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... ow/1097464

...uh, I did it again.

This review is kinda like mine's, but it feels more broad. It's almost like he's turning in a basic 3rd grade history report.

Wow, haha Out of all that, I think there are only 8 commas in there...

On another note, he's def welcome to use some of mine, some of my reviews have more than enough to share, I'm sure.... haha

Great writing by Larry6990, as usual. Some really underrated thrash acts and a band called Belushi Speed Ball that's definitely piqued my curiosity

He seems to have deliberately replaced the usage of commas with parenthetical statements.

Just discovered this review from BastardHead. These parts actually cracked me up


On a more serious note, "Daudi Baldrs" has kinda grew on me since I reviewed it, while I still don't consider it special, I did like how the album's simple melodies brought in a more laid-back atmosphere compared to the more advanced tunes in "Hliðskjálf".