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bayern
Metal newbie

Joined: Wed Sep 13, 2006 10:11 pm
Posts: 104
Location: Bulgaria
PostPosted: Tue Mar 30, 2021 8:58 pm 
 

kluseba wrote:
After having read the controversial reviews, I have given Agent Steel's No Other Godz Before Me a spin. I haven't listened to such a dreadful album in a very long time. It sounds like a poor man's interpretation of Kim Bendix Petersen that meets Thrash or Die. That's already a solid candidate for worst album of the year in my book. It was painful to just finish listening to that coaster or frisbee. I will write a review to warn people to stay away from this and avoid bleeding ears.


Controversial? Hm... the only thing controversial is someone throwing in King Diamond and Thrash or Die as a reference to an Agent Steel album, music of vocal-wise. But go ahead... grace us with another one of your customarily terrible ramblings.

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hells_unicorn
Veteran

Joined: Tue Feb 15, 2005 8:32 pm
Posts: 2570
Location: United States
PostPosted: Tue Mar 30, 2021 9:01 pm 
 

bayern wrote:
kluseba wrote:
After having read the controversial reviews, I have given Agent Steel's No Other Godz Before Me a spin. I haven't listened to such a dreadful album in a very long time. It sounds like a poor man's interpretation of Kim Bendix Petersen that meets Thrash or Die. That's already a solid candidate for worst album of the year in my book. It was painful to just finish listening to that coaster or frisbee. I will write a review to warn people to stay away from this and avoid bleeding ears.


Controversial? Hm... the only thing controversial is someone throwing in King Diamond and Thrash or Die as a reference to an Agent Steel album, music of vocal-wise. But go ahead... grace us with one of your customarily terrible ramblings.


Admittedly I did hear some parts on the new album where Cyriis sounded a tiny bit like King Diamond, but overall I think a more apt comparison would be to Midnight and the early Geoff Tate sound. But yeah, the Thrash Or Die comparison he's making is pretty goofy, it's similar territory to comparing the lead guitar work on Abigail to Deathcore. :durr:
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caspian
Old Man Yells at Car Park

Joined: Tue Dec 07, 2004 11:29 pm
Posts: 6414
Location: Australia
PostPosted: Wed Mar 31, 2021 1:22 am 
 

kluseba wrote:
After having read the controversial reviews, I have given Agent Steel's No Other Godz Before Me a spin. I haven't listened to such a dreadful album in a very long time. It sounds like a poor man's interpretation of Kim Bendix Petersen that meets Thrash or Die. That's already a solid candidate for worst album of the year in my book. It was painful to just finish listening to that coaster or frisbee. I will write a review to warn people to stay away from this and avoid bleeding ears.


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Sweetie
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Dec 16, 2014 1:19 am
Posts: 980
Location: United States
PostPosted: Wed Mar 31, 2021 8:23 am 
 

bayern wrote:
But go ahead... grace us with another one of your customarily terrible ramblings.


Damn! Y'all are meeeaaan!
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Sweetie
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Dec 16, 2014 1:19 am
Posts: 980
Location: United States
PostPosted: Wed Mar 31, 2021 9:49 am 
 

Wait a hot second.... Is WR95 acting like Peace Sells doesn't get any love? Because uh.... yeah that's flat out wrong. The review itself was also painful to read. Borderline track-by-track style and p cringe at times too.
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bayern
Metal newbie

Joined: Wed Sep 13, 2006 10:11 pm
Posts: 104
Location: Bulgaria
PostPosted: Wed Mar 31, 2021 10:58 am 
 

Sweetie wrote:
bayern wrote:
But go ahead... grace us with another one of your customarily terrible ramblings.


Damn! Y'all are meeeaaan!


Why? The man starts with King Diamond marrying Thrash or Die... you're not exactly expecting a masterpiece from here onward... are you... SweetLeaf?

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Sweetie
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Dec 16, 2014 1:19 am
Posts: 980
Location: United States
PostPosted: Wed Mar 31, 2021 2:36 pm 
 

Nah, I specifically was talking about the last three words, not this specific instance.
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TheBurningOfSodom
Metal newbie

Joined: Sat Jun 27, 2015 9:28 am
Posts: 142
Location: Italy
PostPosted: Wed Mar 31, 2021 4:05 pm 
 

Oh cool, an Arise review, it has to be because of its 30th anniversary...

*opening it*

Xyrth wrote:
Twenty years ago,

ahem, apparently I was wrong :lol:

(just kidding of course, Xyrth reviews are always an enjoyable read and this one was no exception)
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TheBurningOfSodom
Metal newbie

Joined: Sat Jun 27, 2015 9:28 am
Posts: 142
Location: Italy
PostPosted: Wed Mar 31, 2021 4:35 pm 
 

Orbitball was never something special but he really let himself go recently, his latest reviews have very haphazard and broken phrasing.

But even overlooking it... 'LG's vocals' on a Clandestine review? Some men just want to watch the world burn, I guess.

(Not the only factual error in his Entombed write-ups admittedly, but undoubtedly the most resounding)
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lord_ghengis
Still Standing After 38 Beers... hic

Joined: Mon Dec 04, 2006 8:31 pm
Posts: 5724
Location: Australia
PostPosted: Thu Apr 01, 2021 4:32 am 
 

I really quite enjoyed Burning of Sodom's new one for Pavor's Furioso. Admittedly not an album which ever really did anything for me, I'm far, FAR more attached to the brilliant debut, but for some reason I liked the kinda scattershot wandering tone of the review and all the little repeated phrases and whatnot. Not a "smooth" review at all but I think the wandering clunkiness of it all was intentional and used to great effect as it plays into the trying to comprehend the arrogant obtuseness of the album itself.

Also lmao at the page sabotage.

Edit: Derp it's the april fools gag.
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TheBurningOfSodom
Metal newbie

Joined: Sat Jun 27, 2015 9:28 am
Posts: 142
Location: Italy
PostPosted: Thu Apr 01, 2021 5:32 am 
 

Hey, thanks man, really appreciated! Yeah, barring my always troubled phrasing, that was definitely the impression I tried to convey. Enjoyable but really worlds apart from a simple-minded man like me. :lol:
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lord_ghengis
Still Standing After 38 Beers... hic

Joined: Mon Dec 04, 2006 8:31 pm
Posts: 5724
Location: Australia
PostPosted: Thu Apr 01, 2021 6:04 am 
 

Haha yeah I think you captured it well. Everything needs to be parsed through a filter of big brained superiority.
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gasmask_colostomy
Metalhead

Joined: Thu May 27, 2010 5:38 am
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Location: Behind the wall of fire v.2
PostPosted: Fri Apr 02, 2021 5:42 am 
 

Could anyone solve a niggling question of mine? I've written reviews for a magazine named Metalegion, which are largely suitable for publication on this site. The only thing is that the word limit for the magazine makes them quite short. I'm currently publishing them gradually on this site (they all have a note referencing Metalegion at the bottom), so would anyone mind taking a quick look and telling me their feelings? Should be the most recent ones through this link:
https://www.metal-archives.com/users/gasmask_colostomy
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Gas_Snake
Metal newbie

Joined: Sun Feb 02, 2020 1:07 am
Posts: 57
Location: Russia
PostPosted: Fri Apr 02, 2021 11:18 am 
 

Yet another "St.Anger is good" review - this time from Human666, a troll who really should know better. He doesn't even find any new way to justify its suckness, just keeps pushing on the supposed rawness and authenticity that makes everything better. You think this is raw and authentic? So is punk, black metal, and, funnily enough, a whole bunch of thrash - and those can do it without sounding like shit.

Probably a bad idea for me to write this - I'm just giving him attention. Luckily, this is far from the first such review I've seen, and he's simply using tropes that have been done previously. There isn't a single original idea in it. Cranky contrarian textlord's been getting lazy, I see. Let us laugh at his insolence.

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Slater922
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Apr 14, 2020 6:24 pm
Posts: 590
PostPosted: Fri Apr 02, 2021 12:21 pm 
 

Gas_Snake wrote:
Yet another "St.Anger is good" review - this time from Human666, a troll who really should know better. He doesn't even find any new way to justify its suckness, just keeps pushing on the supposed rawness and authenticity that makes everything better. You think this is raw and authentic? So is punk, black metal, and, funnily enough, a whole bunch of thrash - and those can do it without sounding like shit.

Probably a bad idea for me to write this - I'm just giving him attention. Luckily, this is far from the first such review I've seen, and he's simply using tropes that have been done previously. There isn't a single original idea in it. Cranky contrarian textlord's been getting lazy, I see. Let us laugh at his insolence.

So nowadays, it's cool to say St. Anger is a good album because of its "rAw AnD aUtHeNtIc SoUnD bRo!!!!11"? Better write a negative review on the album to counterattack those reviews!
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Spiner202
Metalhead

Joined: Wed May 06, 2009 3:32 pm
Posts: 2268
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Fri Apr 02, 2021 12:23 pm 
 

I kind of want to review St. Anger because I feel like I'm one of the few people with a middle-ground take on the album. I've forever stood behind the belief that it's decent songwriting with poor execution, and if they had fixed a few things, it could have been a great record.
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hells_unicorn
Veteran

Joined: Tue Feb 15, 2005 8:32 pm
Posts: 2570
Location: United States
PostPosted: Fri Apr 02, 2021 1:31 pm 
 

Gas_Snake wrote:
Yet another "St.Anger is good" review - this time from Human666, a troll who really should know better. He doesn't even find any new way to justify its suckness, just keeps pushing on the supposed rawness and authenticity that makes everything better. You think this is raw and authentic? So is punk, black metal, and, funnily enough, a whole bunch of thrash - and those can do it without sounding like shit.


For a long time I thought that bitterman was the worst writer/troll to ever post anything on here, but Human666 basically won the title with this one. This review completely explains all of the other bizarre tirades he's posted over the past few years, nothing he writes is serious. I'll be completely avoiding his crap from this day onward.
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CHAIRTHROWER
Methed-burnt rogue babelfish

Joined: Sun Dec 20, 2015 7:10 pm
Posts: 683
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Fri Apr 02, 2021 1:34 pm 
 

Abominations aside, I simply wish to bring attention to this singular line from latest Turbo put-down (by one of the Spiners, here, anyhow):

"The best way to describe them is if you were to take all the popular glam metal songs that were popular at the time, morphed them together, and add in some cheesy moments that would make Kraft cheese look plain."

Eh? Wouldn't you rather replace the last word - "plain" - with "exciting", or even "indelible"...mmm?

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Spiner202
Metalhead

Joined: Wed May 06, 2009 3:32 pm
Posts: 2268
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Fri Apr 02, 2021 2:11 pm 
 

CHAIRTHROWER wrote:
Abominations aside, I simply wish to bring attention to this singular line from latest Turbo put-down (by one of the Spiners, here, anyhow):

I can see how my username is similar to Slater's, but rest assured that I would never insult Turbo. It's a fantastic record.
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orphy
Metal newbie

Joined: Thu May 06, 2004 11:24 pm
Posts: 204
Location: Edmonton, Canada
PostPosted: Fri Apr 02, 2021 2:33 pm 
 

A guy that gives a 90+ to a piece of shit record and then 9% to Napalm Death's FETO is such an obvious troll. I'll never comprehend someone wasting that much time being an idiot.
Spiner202 wrote:
I kind of want to review St. Anger because I feel like I'm one of the few people with a middle-ground take on the album. I've forever stood behind the belief that it's decent songwriting with poor execution, and if they had fixed a few things, it could have been a great record.

I dunno how you can justify those overly long and redundant song structures as "decent songwriting". They basically stretch songs that shouldn't go beyond 4 minutes into 8 minute territory.
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Vadara
Metal newbie

Joined: Wed Mar 16, 2016 11:14 pm
Posts: 317
Location: United States
PostPosted: Fri Apr 02, 2021 4:18 pm 
 

I quickly wrote a review for a recent single I thought was really damn good and then just decided to submit two other reviews I had written months ago but never actually submitted. Whew! Hope they all get through.

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MetlaNZ
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Jan 01, 2013 6:45 pm
Posts: 807
Location: Lost in Necropolis
PostPosted: Fri Apr 02, 2021 8:04 pm 
 

Gas_Snake wrote:
Yet another "St.Anger is good" review - this time from Human666, a troll who really should know better. He doesn't even find any new way to justify its suckness, just keeps pushing on the supposed rawness and authenticity that makes everything better. You think this is raw and authentic? So is punk, black metal, and, funnily enough, a whole bunch of thrash - and those can do it without sounding like shit.

The review is actually quite well written and I think they're sincere but his reasoning behind the sound is flawed. I mean how long did they spend writing and recording? Especially how long to get that "raw", "unpolished", "rough" and "authentic" sound? These guy's are perfectionists when it comes to their original studio album's. The sound they got was so shit and look how long it took them to achieve, absolutely nuts. They should've dusted off their old NWOBHM albums and hired Jason to convert another garage.

Edit: To clarify the review was well written not the garbage he was reviewing.


Last edited by MetlaNZ on Fri Apr 02, 2021 9:04 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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MetlaNZ
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Jan 01, 2013 6:45 pm
Posts: 807
Location: Lost in Necropolis
PostPosted: Fri Apr 02, 2021 8:20 pm 
 

Spiner202 wrote:
CHAIRTHROWER wrote:
Abominations aside, I simply wish to bring attention to this singular line from latest Turbo put-down (by one of the Spiners, here, anyhow):

I can see how my username is similar to Slater's, but rest assured that I would never insult Turbo. It's a fantastic record.

No its not fantastic, far from it, but it's not a 0% that's for sure. Slaters definitely lookin for attention.
I like 3 songs off it at a stretch, "Turbo", "Out in the Cold" and the stretch "Wild Nights". So I'd give it maybe 40%... at a stretch.

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Empyreal
The Final Frontier

Joined: Thu Nov 30, 2006 6:58 pm
Posts: 29340
Location: Where the dead rule the night
PostPosted: Fri Apr 02, 2021 8:23 pm 
 

Slater922 wrote:
Gas_Snake wrote:
Yet another "St.Anger is good" review - this time from Human666, a troll who really should know better. He doesn't even find any new way to justify its suckness, just keeps pushing on the supposed rawness and authenticity that makes everything better. You think this is raw and authentic? So is punk, black metal, and, funnily enough, a whole bunch of thrash - and those can do it without sounding like shit.

Probably a bad idea for me to write this - I'm just giving him attention. Luckily, this is far from the first such review I've seen, and he's simply using tropes that have been done previously. There isn't a single original idea in it. Cranky contrarian textlord's been getting lazy, I see. Let us laugh at his insolence.

So nowadays, it's cool to say St. Anger is a good album because of its "rAw AnD aUtHeNtIc SoUnD bRo!!!!11"? Better write a negative review on the album to counterattack those reviews!


I mean I do like the idea of it and there can certainly be some real raw, rough albums like that that work for that reason. It's just that St. Anger is so long and boring that it doesn't count... but hating on it excessively now seems passe anyway. If that album was like half the length it is maybe I'd actually find some things to like.
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Slater922
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Apr 14, 2020 6:24 pm
Posts: 590
PostPosted: Fri Apr 02, 2021 8:28 pm 
 

MetlaNZ wrote:
Spiner202 wrote:
CHAIRTHROWER wrote:
Abominations aside, I simply wish to bring attention to this singular line from latest Turbo put-down (by one of the Spiners, here, anyhow):

I can see how my username is similar to Slater's, but rest assured that I would never insult Turbo. It's a fantastic record.

No its not fantastic, far from it, but it's not a 0% that's for sure. Slaters definitely lookin for attention.

It's not much of me doing it for attention. It's just a horrible record.

Also, I got a review for St. Anger currently pending, so stay tuned for that.
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Metantoine
Slave to Santa

Joined: Sat Jun 21, 2008 5:00 pm
Posts: 11948
Location: Montréal
PostPosted: Fri Apr 02, 2021 11:38 pm 
 

Slater922 wrote:
Also, I got a review for St. Anger currently pending, so stay tuned for that.

Spoiler: show
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Morn Of Solace
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Apr 01, 2014 2:19 am
Posts: 2214
PostPosted: Sat Apr 03, 2021 1:54 am 
 

The dead horse has been beaten to a pulp, and that pulp has been used to make hamburgers. Then those hamburgers have been eaten and shat with an unpleasant burning sensation.

By the way, i see that Mi'Gauss's Open Season is still virgin. That album it's one of the best kept secrets at mixing death metal and traditional heavy, anybody wants to tackle it?

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NoSoup4you22
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Tue Feb 19, 2008 6:36 pm
Posts: 28
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sat Apr 03, 2021 2:13 am 
 

Anything will become cool to defend given enough time.

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TheBurningOfSodom
Metal newbie

Joined: Sat Jun 27, 2015 9:28 am
Posts: 142
Location: Italy
PostPosted: Sat Apr 03, 2021 5:48 am 
 

Morn Of Solace wrote:
By the way, i see that Mi'Gauss's Open Season is still virgin. That album it's one of the best kept secrets at mixing death metal and traditional heavy, anybody wants to tackle it?

Probably not gonna have enough time for a review in the near future, but that does seem the kind of band I though of after being disappointed with Arghoslent. Not flawless, but they nail the 'traditional-ness' way better, and the first track is killer. Great suggestion! It surely is an obscure one. Draft added for reminder :lol:
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Empyreal
The Final Frontier

Joined: Thu Nov 30, 2006 6:58 pm
Posts: 29340
Location: Where the dead rule the night
PostPosted: Sat Apr 03, 2021 8:37 am 
 

I'm gonna review that Mi'Gauss album soon. I've just been super fucking busy since I bought it last month.
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Spiner202
Metalhead

Joined: Wed May 06, 2009 3:32 pm
Posts: 2268
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Sat Apr 03, 2021 10:59 am 
 

orphy wrote:
Spiner202 wrote:
I kind of want to review St. Anger because I feel like I'm one of the few people with a middle-ground take on the album. I've forever stood behind the belief that it's decent songwriting with poor execution, and if they had fixed a few things, it could have been a great record.

I dunno how you can justify those overly long and redundant song structures as "decent songwriting". They basically stretch songs that shouldn't go beyond 4 minutes into 8 minute territory.

I probably should have been clearer about what I meant by songwriting; I think there are a number of great riffs on the album (though they would have sounded better in standard tuning), and some of the vocal melodies are cool too. The excessive song structures is definitely something I would fix on that album.
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Cosmic_Equilibrium
Metalhead

Joined: Fri Jul 18, 2014 2:03 pm
Posts: 465
PostPosted: Mon Apr 05, 2021 5:54 pm 
 

Think I might do some more Judas Priest reviews so I've edited and tidied up my Stained Class one. Except I'll have to do it again, since I've discovered I've left a word or two out in the final bit.

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caspian
Old Man Yells at Car Park

Joined: Tue Dec 07, 2004 11:29 pm
Posts: 6414
Location: Australia
PostPosted: Tue Apr 06, 2021 10:38 am 
 

Yeah if anything I reckon St.Anger has decent execution but terrible songwriting. The best parts is when the songwriting actually matches up to the fury, not the other way around, if that makes sense.

(has a "turbo is worse than St.Anger" review been done? Might be a goer!!)
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CHAIRTHROWER
Methed-burnt rogue babelfish

Joined: Sun Dec 20, 2015 7:10 pm
Posts: 683
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Tue Apr 06, 2021 12:10 pm 
 

Always thrilled, awakening to further, well-enthused Haunt review...good job, sweet stuff; I feel I could've extrapolated more on individual songs, yet our takes compliment each other, nicely. So glad my score is duly warranted, as was afraid I'd jumped the gun? Bah! Beauty-full Distraction indeed. Am now honing this newfangled, much more snappish and brief approach. Almost there, but find passion for tunes is lagging, of late. Writing reviews is all about passion, and would definitely appreciate tips on how to breathe new life in 'em.
(As a wise recovery guru in Kelowna once quipped: you can't force inspiration; only create the necessary conditions to be inspired.) Chayrz!

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Slater922
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Apr 14, 2020 6:24 pm
Posts: 590
PostPosted: Tue Apr 06, 2021 3:21 pm 
 

caspian wrote:
(has a "turbo is worse than St.Anger" review been done? Might be a goer!!)

Actually, I gave Turbo a 0 while I gave St. Anger a 15%, so I guess that counts.
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Sweetie
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Dec 16, 2014 1:19 am
Posts: 980
Location: United States
PostPosted: Tue Apr 06, 2021 10:45 pm 
 

Chairs, thanks so much! I enjoyed yours as well!

Also to anyone slamming on Turbo, you're a pleb. :lol: The first six tracks on that album are stellar punches from front to back.
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thrashmaniac87
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Feb 21, 2006 6:58 pm
Posts: 679
Location: United States
PostPosted: Tue Apr 06, 2021 11:52 pm 
 

Sweetie wrote:
Chairs, thanks so much! I enjoyed yours as well!

Also to anyone slamming on Turbo, you're a pleb. :lol: The first six tracks on that album are stellar punches from front to back.


What about Hot for Love? The "Nowhere to run to..." part gets me everytime. But I'm huge Turbo fan so I might be a little biased. And I got to say, all this Turbo bashing lately has got me a little sad.
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Twisted_Psychology
Metal freak

Joined: Sat May 16, 2009 8:22 pm
Posts: 5434
Location: United States
PostPosted: Wed Apr 07, 2021 8:17 am 
 

My stance on Turbo has definitely softened in recent years, probably a 70% if I reviewed it these days. I still find it spotty but the top songs are still great and the lesser songs are more forgettable than outright egregious. It might also be prolonged exposure to the Lavaborne guitarist that stans the whole thing from front to back.
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CHAIRTHROWER
Methed-burnt rogue babelfish

Joined: Sun Dec 20, 2015 7:10 pm
Posts: 683
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Wed Apr 07, 2021 10:03 am 
 

"No one can stop me now
I'm like a human dynamo
Live wired and chargin' out with power
This time I won't hold back
I'm rarin' to get up and go
Fuelled up and growin' by the hour

Look out
I'm blastin' through the lines
Alive and kickin'
Watch out
I'm young and lethal
I'm goin' from here until eternity"

[Sing along, altogether now!]

"I'm feelin' RECKLESS!
Way outa hand, a real survivor
RECKLESS!
Comin' at gale force ten

Around me I feel the shock waves,
Building for the energy
A force field no one can break through
Solid as rock no wonder
I am indestructible
First placed in everything I do

Look out
I'm blastin' through the lines
Alive and kickin'
Watch out
I'm young and lethal
I'm goin' from here until eternity

I'm feelin' reckless
Way outa hand, a real survivor
Reckless
Comin' at gale force ten

Radioactive
I'm shootin' through the atmosphere
Takin' off
I'm headin' like a rocket through the stratosphere.

Look out
I'm blastin' through the lines
Alive and kickin'
Watch out
I'm young and lethal
I'm goin' from here until eternity

I'm feelin' reckless
Way outa hand, a real survivor
Reckless
Comin' at gale force ten
I'm feelin' reckless
Way outa hand, a real survivor
Reckless
Comin' at gale force
Comin' at gale force ten
I'm feelin' reckless
Way outa hand, a real survivor
Reckless
Comin' at gale force
Comin' at gale force ten!"

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orphy
Metal newbie

Joined: Thu May 06, 2004 11:24 pm
Posts: 204
Location: Edmonton, Canada
PostPosted: Wed Apr 07, 2021 10:25 am 
 

CHAIRTHROWER wrote:
Always thrilled, awakening to further, well-enthused Haunt review...good job, sweet stuff; I feel I could've extrapolated more on individual songs, yet our takes compliment each other, nicely. So glad my score is duly warranted, as was afraid I'd jumped the gun? Bah! Beauty-full Distraction indeed. Am now honing this newfangled, much more snappish and brief approach. Almost there, but find passion for tunes is lagging, of late. Writing reviews is all about passion, and would definitely appreciate tips on how to breathe new life in 'em.
(As a wise recovery guru in Kelowna once quipped: you can't force inspiration; only create the necessary conditions to be inspired.) Chayrz!

I go through spurts of wanting to review stuff myself. I think the main thing is, if I'm thinking about a record a lot and analyzing it as I'm listening to it, it's worth my time to write down my thoughts in point form. Even if it's just thoughts about the production, or comparisons to their other releases or similar bands. Hope you can find some inspiration my dude, cheers from the other side of the Rockies!
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