Family Guy, the animation world's finest finalist in the battle to replace Seinfeld...

Which, of course, equals being as funny as coughing your nuts out through the back of your neck.

Right .. and one will go through similar things to avoid either one.

That legitimately made me cackle out loud. Fuck, my sides!

First of all, "turly". Secondly, I find it somewhat weird that someone would consider this to be "true viking metal" (as if to imply that Hammerheart, Twilight of the Gods et al weren't "true" examples of that style). The review itself ain't so hot, a bit Engrish-y, with a fair few spelling mistakes especially when there's several other reviews expressing similar sentiments.

As a side note, I should feel that I think the legitimacy of "Viking metal" as a subgenre is somewhat iffy. But that's an argument for another day.

This is the first time in at least over a year that I looked at a ConorFynes review, but I had to check this one since "Iron Maiden" is one of my all time favourite albums, and oh my, I wish I hadn't...

He's one of the worst acceptable reviewer.

Eh, it's not as shite as Noktorn's review.

Liking stuff from before you were born makes you a trendy hipster!

In Noktorn's review:


I know that he's (sort of) joking, but this still cracks me up.

I actually think Noktorn's review of the album was good even if I completely disagree with it and find his notion that the album isn't very 'metal' highly silly.

Conor Fynes brought, however, nothing to the table. Per usual.

In terms of his actual ability to write I don't think ConorFynes is that awful. But his opinions are often silly or redundant. His reviews aren't well-thought out and he often makes minor factual errors. Also, it seems like most of his reviews are first impressions and he only listens to each album once, which is particularly lame. I mean, sometimes an album is so blatantly awful or generic that you don't have to listen to it more than one or two times, but this is usually not the case. I may have not gotten into some of my favourite metal albums if I only listened once and based my opinion on just one listen. Eh, at least he started giving his reviews titles.

He knows his reviews are scorned 'round these parts; he started adding titles after many reviewers, especially ConorFynes, were criticized for not using actual titles, instead using "ARTIST X- ALBUM Y" for every goddamn review. The fact that he still writes reviews after being so heavily criticized on a fairly regular basis is actually quite amazing in its own little way, I guess. And he has 600 reviews...wow.

I'm personally not a fan myself (I won't read his reviews, usually), but not as ravenous as others are. Still, I can see and perfectly understand why his work is under constant fire.

As markthevictor once said, he's autothrall's retarded echo.

When he pumps out reviews like this http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/R ... ConorFynes (reported in the oven fodder for suckage), then it's not much of a feat.

Like watching paint dry. I've sent it to the infinite void of lost reviews.

Still, the time and effort to churn out 600+ reviews is amazing...at least in terms of quantity.

I actually chuckled a little bit at RageW's review of TSoP. He openly criticizes Chuck's soloing as sloppy; dude must have never seen a single live performance of Shannon's... I've never heard the guy nail ANYTHING live. I still think it's funny that Chuck went from Paul Masvidal to Andy LaRocque to two nobodies.

I can never take RageW seriously anymore. His opinions are stupid and he's not really a good reviewer.

umad deathlover

I use Evil Chuck's fanboys's tears as lubricant for my masturbation sessions. This one will be a particularly satisfying one~

Wow! Casually scrolling through this thread and seeing that made my day guys (you too Tony, I didn't forget you), thanks a lot Always feels good to get praise. As you might be able to see by the posting date of my reviews I tend to write infrequently, but I am planning to review Eparistera Daimones soon because I want to bring up a few things that all the gushing reviews on this site seem to conveniently forget. Hell, if I'm feeling ambitious, I might just review everything Tom Warrior ever did, might be interesting to look over his whole discography and see how it evolved. However, with my track record, "planning to write soon" could mean anything from "It'll be up next week" to "I might have it up before thanksgiving"

Also what's wrong with RageW's reviews? At least with the Death ones he wrote he does tend to insult them a little too much but his writing's pretty clear and gets to the point and I don't disagree with his stance on Death either haha.

I can understand having problems with the song construction, but he says there's NO RIFFS, and compares Chuck's vocals to Dani Filth, which is just silly. (oh look, cause it's high pitched). That and he gives it an 8%. I'm sorry, I'm not a Death fanboy at all but 8%? At worst, that album is maybe a 60-65% if you really want to take it down a notch. But 8% reeks of just wanting to bring the score down.

I've never understood the argument of "this person just wants to lower the album's average score". Who are you to tell someone how much they dislike an album, anyways?

I agree, Necro. And RageW is a huge fan of Jpop, he should be familiar with silly stuff.

MT, there's people saying "the average score for this review was too low, so I gave it a 100%", I reject these reviews when I see them. It wasn't the case with RageW's review, but this album truly doesn't deserve less than a 50% in my opinion.

I was never a huge fan of Death, but even their worst material was always at least competent on the level of "these guys actually know how their instruments work."

Anything below a 40%, for me, would require the band members be playing their instruments like they're wiping their ass with them.

Yes, unless of course you wanted to be "controversial"/ lower the average.

I think it's high time I got my ass into gear and did some reviews... and then have it mercilessly torn asunder by you lot

Later Death isn't anything I'd rate higher than an 85 or so, but RageW's reviews come off as pretty posturing and immature like some of my old ones used to be. Just seems like he's trying too hard.

To those who bitch about the scores being too low: The albums range from 0% to 100%. Every album, all the time. The only exceptions are that there are to be no reviews under 90% for the first two Mercyful Fate albums lest I find those people and poop on them.

To those who say he tries to hard: I'd much rather have that than him not trying hard enough.

To RageW himself: Yuk it up, spotlight and attention feels good, doesn't it?


In short, you all lose.

Discourage him from writing reviews and encourage him to write a new Prajna album, then we all win.

Now this is the best post on this page. Andres, obey.

I have it all written down already, I just haven't had a chance to record it

What a strange rating system you have. Quite bafflingly in fact, as music can, of course, be well-played and awful.

See: 70% of all tech death bands.

Over time I've basically just adopted droneriot's system of "below fifty is bad, above fifty is good, it's all a matter of degree within that". If I find an album is just okay but nothing memorable it'll end up somewhere between like 45-60ish, depending on my mood/the little things about the album.

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/T ... Psychology

Great review of The Wretch by T_P, there's only one sentence that doesn't make a lot of sense.



Maybe it was written before Lillie - F-65's release and he forgot to fix it when he the review was submitted. Anyway, the content is good, hopefully T_P will see this comment or I'll PM him.

ANationalAcrobat's take on Rage For Order continues to show why he's one of the site's top reviewers, methinks.

Yep, it seems like the better reviews nowadays tend to be the ones I disagree with. Though the pedestal I once kept that album on has far lowered the last couple of years and I've accepted that it's practically 1/3 filler. The second half kinda loses it, imo.

The music may, indeed, be awful, but if it's still being played competently, then that's at least one good thing on the album. As long as there's anything good at all, whatever it is, no matter how basic it is, it cannot be deserving of a 0%.

Name an album you would give a score below, say, a 20%, then.

I'm with Acrobat. A turd sandwich can be prepared by a five-star master chef, it'll still be a turd sandwich.

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/F ... almahSlays


Nota bene, peeps: people with ADD dig Fallujah.

Thanks! I've written a grand total of 2 reviews this year! I promise to do some more before the summer's end.