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Reaper43
Painsponge

Joined: Fri Oct 07, 2005 1:39 am
Posts: 347
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Wed Aug 29, 2007 6:42 am 
 

I have to agree with drone a multitude of errors, and some obvious issues with the flow of the piece.
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Bash
Talking Meat

Joined: Sat Mar 26, 2005 6:06 am
Posts: 520
Location: Finland
PostPosted: Wed Aug 29, 2007 7:57 am 
 

It made me giggle and that's all I care about.

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Abominatrix
Harbinger of Metal

Joined: Fri Oct 24, 2003 12:15 pm
Posts: 9126
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Wed Aug 29, 2007 9:59 am 
 

Bloodstone wrote:
http://metal-archives.com/review.php?id=160652#147

Instant recommendation of first UltraBoris review in almost two years.


Meh .. he could certainly do much better. It's a decent review though. I feel however very uncomfortable about this increasing trend of reviewing albums before they're officially released. At least Ultraboris is quick to point out that this is not the final mix ... personally I am of the mind that tracklists shouldn't even be added to the archives until someone has an official CD in their hands. Remember what happened with the last Rotting Christ album having the track order completely reversed on the archives.

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Human666
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue May 09, 2006 11:59 am
Posts: 260
PostPosted: Wed Aug 29, 2007 10:19 am 
 

Bash wrote:
It made me giggle and that's all I care about.

:bang:

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Abominatrix
Harbinger of Metal

Joined: Fri Oct 24, 2003 12:15 pm
Posts: 9126
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Wed Aug 29, 2007 10:26 am 
 

Human666 wrote:
Bash wrote:
It made me giggle and that's all I care about.

:bang:


Yes, random toilet humour works for some, I guess. I don't know, I'm running on three hours of sleep and don't know if it'd be fair to give this the scythe at the moment.

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Bash
Talking Meat

Joined: Sat Mar 26, 2005 6:06 am
Posts: 520
Location: Finland
PostPosted: Wed Aug 29, 2007 10:49 am 
 

I admit I would be less inclined to be amused if it wasn't UltaBoris reviewing Sodom. Even then I doubt I could ever be a completely humourless husk of a human being who doesn't find toilet humour funny.

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Napero
GedankenPanzer

Joined: Sun Jan 02, 2005 4:16 pm
Posts: 8638
Location: Finland
PostPosted: Wed Aug 29, 2007 12:25 pm 
 

requiem99 wrote:
You've got to be kidding me. "Takes it's self to seriously"? That is exactly 5 words in the header and already we see two grammar mistakes. This is what you recommend?

Well, it wasn't that much of an excellent review, and especially the English sucked, but the opinion/conclusion was the best analysis of an album's failings I've read in a good while. Ziltoid does suffer from a conflict between comedy and serious songwriting. The bonus disc on the digipack edition does wonders to correct that, though.

Where did the UltraBoris piece go? I didn't see it...
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Bloodstone
Metal newbie

Joined: Thu Mar 11, 2004 11:48 am
Posts: 296
Location: Sweden
PostPosted: Wed Aug 29, 2007 1:53 pm 
 

I admit the review wasn't that great :P I'm just such a fan of his work is all and maybe got a little overly excited. ;)
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megalowho
Metalhead

Joined: Sun Jan 29, 2006 4:33 am
Posts: 533
Location: United States of America
PostPosted: Fri Aug 31, 2007 3:55 pm 
 

I didn't know where else to post this without starting a new thread over something this nitpicky and trivially amusing...

The most recent review of "Rise of the Imperial Hordes" refers to the album as Krieg's "eponymous debut full-length EP." Wouldn't an eponymous Krieg album just be called "Krieg," and isn't "full-length EP" an oxymoron?

Otherwise a fine review.

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Muloc7253
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue Nov 29, 2005 9:47 am
Posts: 343
Location: United Kingdom
PostPosted: Sun Sep 02, 2007 7:42 am 
 

If MHITO learned a lot abou grammar and took a load of English lessons he could actually become a pretty good reviewer. He always has something really interesting to say, but then ends up doing so really poorly.
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Muloc7253
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue Nov 29, 2005 9:47 am
Posts: 343
Location: United Kingdom
PostPosted: Sun Sep 02, 2007 7:44 am 
 

Out of interest was Ultraboris' Sodom review a positive or a negative one?
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Bash
Talking Meat

Joined: Sat Mar 26, 2005 6:06 am
Posts: 520
Location: Finland
PostPosted: Sun Sep 02, 2007 8:14 am 
 

I think the score was 86% or something. For UltraBoris, a score like that usually means that he's reviewing thrash.

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Noktorn
Metalhead

Joined: Fri Feb 11, 2005 5:31 pm
Posts: 1713
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sun Sep 02, 2007 9:35 am 
 

oneyoudontknow is one of the best reviewers here.
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Sean16
Moody Tabulator of Torn Hymens

Joined: Sat May 07, 2005 11:03 am
Posts: 317
Location: Japan
PostPosted: Sun Sep 02, 2007 10:30 am 
 

megalowho wrote:
Wouldn't an eponymous Krieg album just be called "Krieg,"


Indeed. Obvious words confusion here.

megalowho wrote:
and isn't "full-length EP" an oxymoron?


Strictly speaking no, as "EP" isn't the contrary of "full-length", but only a kind of intermediary state between single and LP. However it's still without doubt nonsense :)

Noktorn wrote:
oneyoudontknow is one of the best reviewers here.


Maybe not "one of the best", but a very good one without doubt.
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oneyoudontknow
Cum insantientibus furere necesse est.

Joined: Sun May 21, 2006 6:25 pm
Posts: 5078
Location: Germany
PostPosted: Sun Sep 02, 2007 10:51 am 
 

Noktorn wrote:
oneyoudontknow is one of the best reviewers here.

Sean16 wrote:
Noktorn wrote:
oneyoudontknow is one of the best reviewers here.

Maybe not "one of the best", but a very good one without doubt.

Thanks for the flowers, but I am quite critical with my work and I will leave it at this point. I am just glad that I have got this 2 three-way-splits from Algeria done... I would rather describe them as short versions... soo much to write about.
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PriestofSadWings
Bishop of Dark Spaces

Joined: Wed Dec 06, 2006 6:29 pm
Posts: 575
PostPosted: Mon Sep 03, 2007 5:09 pm 
 

Peregrin wrote:


Thanks. I wouldn't have reviewed it if someone else had gotten to it first with a low rating, but as it stood, this mediocre album had a 98% average, and I had to correct that.
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requiem99
The Buddhist Killbot

Joined: Wed Jun 30, 2004 4:11 pm
Posts: 118
Location: British Indian Ocean Territory
PostPosted: Mon Sep 03, 2007 6:00 pm 
 

You lose. The album will outlast you and your funny review. But thanks for the effort. Always good to see a differing view, even a wrong one. :)

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hells_unicorn
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Feb 15, 2005 8:32 pm
Posts: 2342
Location: United States
PostPosted: Mon Sep 03, 2007 6:31 pm 
 

PriestofSadWings - There is a reason why you're the only one to give that album a low score, and it has little to do with the fictional lack of head banging. Nonetheless, the review in itself is well written, although I can't find a single one of the subtle problems you alluded to in my more than 100 listens.
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Noktorn
Metalhead

Joined: Fri Feb 11, 2005 5:31 pm
Posts: 1713
Location: United States
PostPosted: Mon Sep 03, 2007 6:35 pm 
 

Apparently 4 >90% reviews aren't enough to make up for a single one in the 70s to some people.
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requiem99
The Buddhist Killbot

Joined: Wed Jun 30, 2004 4:11 pm
Posts: 118
Location: British Indian Ocean Territory
PostPosted: Mon Sep 03, 2007 7:29 pm 
 

The amount or quality of the other positive reviews is absolutely meaningless in this discussion.

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PriestofSadWings
Bishop of Dark Spaces

Joined: Wed Dec 06, 2006 6:29 pm
Posts: 575
PostPosted: Mon Sep 03, 2007 8:10 pm 
 

requiem99 wrote:
You lose. The album will outlast you and your funny review. But thanks for the effort. Always good to see a differing view, even a wrong one. :)


I didn't say that I hate the album, or that it's a piece of crap. I said it was mediocre. I enjoy some of the songs on there (Fata Morgana, Giant's Lore, The Sorceress). They are solid songs. The album is certainly no Into the Electric Castle, Sad Wings of Destiny, or Ride the Lightning, but it's not Shadow 0f Death's Apocalypse either.

I got Star One - Space Metal, Ayreon - Into the Electric Castle, Savatage - Sirens, Dominici Trilogy Pt. 2, Helloween - Keeper of the Seven Keys Pt. II, Kamelot - Karma, Symphony X - Twilight In Olympus and the Odyssey, and Awaken the Guardian all at the same time. I thought ATG and The Odyssey were the weakest out of all these. Is there a problem? :p
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The_Beast_In_Black wrote:
In the interests of fairness, Japan is not allowed in any ridiculousness contests.

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OlympicSharpshooter
The Universal Magnetic

Joined: Wed Dec 31, 2003 3:24 pm
Posts: 795
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Mon Sep 03, 2007 8:31 pm 
 

PriestofSadWings wrote:
requiem99 wrote:
You lose. The album will outlast you and your funny review. But thanks for the effort. Always good to see a differing view, even a wrong one. :)


I didn't say that I hate the album, or that it's a piece of crap. I said it was mediocre. I enjoy some of the songs on there (Fata Morgana, Giant's Lore, The Sorceress). They are solid songs. The album is certainly no Into the Electric Castle


And thank Christ for that. ;)

That aside, I'm surprised we still have any truly sacred cows on this site these days. You've kicked up a bit of a fuss here with your review. Personally, your review reads like mine would have if I'd reviewed within the first two weeks of owning it. It's a true grower. But your opinion is your own, and is reasonably well-presented.
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His [OSS] reviewing style sucks in my opinion, [...] and his humor is vapid at best and outright buffoonish at worst.

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Peregrin
Cricket Bat of Longinus

Joined: Wed Jul 07, 2004 3:09 am
Posts: 178
Location: Denmark
PostPosted: Tue Sep 04, 2007 5:08 am 
 

hells_unicorn wrote:
PriestofSadWings - There is a reason why you're the only one to give that album a low score, and it has little to do with the fictional lack of head banging.


He's a Communist?
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requiem99
The Buddhist Killbot

Joined: Wed Jun 30, 2004 4:11 pm
Posts: 118
Location: British Indian Ocean Territory
PostPosted: Tue Sep 04, 2007 8:57 am 
 

No scared cows here or anywhere in my book, but a single poorly supported opinion is just that, and no more.

Edit: Scared cows, haha.

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PriestofSadWings
Bishop of Dark Spaces

Joined: Wed Dec 06, 2006 6:29 pm
Posts: 575
PostPosted: Tue Sep 04, 2007 8:24 pm 
 

Peregrin wrote:
hells_unicorn wrote:
PriestofSadWings - There is a reason why you're the only one to give that album a low score, and it has little to do with the fictional lack of head banging.


He's a Communist?


No, I'm a liberal. Oh, and listening to Guardian (the song) today, its score went up to about 77.

I'm not changing my review, though, unless it really grows on me.
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Empyreal
The Final Frontier

Joined: Thu Nov 30, 2006 6:58 pm
Posts: 26893
Location: Where the dead rule the night
PostPosted: Tue Sep 04, 2007 8:25 pm 
 

It probably will.
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requiem99
The Buddhist Killbot

Joined: Wed Jun 30, 2004 4:11 pm
Posts: 118
Location: British Indian Ocean Territory
PostPosted: Wed Sep 05, 2007 3:24 pm 
 

IF it grows on you? How many listens over how long a period did you give it? I guess you didn't read any other reviews of the disc, did you? Next time learn how to review something that is older than you are. Newbie.

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Noktorn
Metalhead

Joined: Fri Feb 11, 2005 5:31 pm
Posts: 1713
Location: United States
PostPosted: Wed Sep 05, 2007 3:30 pm 
 

Fates Warning reviews: serious business, apparently.
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Muloc7253
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue Nov 29, 2005 9:47 am
Posts: 343
Location: United Kingdom
PostPosted: Wed Sep 05, 2007 3:40 pm 
 

requiem99 wrote:
IF it grows on you? How many listens over how long a period did you give it? I guess you didn't read any other reviews of the disc, did you? Next time learn how to review something that is older than you are. Newbie.


Christ on a bike! He didn't like the fucking album! Give it a rest!
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pinpals
Metal newbie

Joined: Mon Oct 03, 2005 2:18 pm
Posts: 73
Location: United States
PostPosted: Wed Sep 05, 2007 6:34 pm 
 

Muloc7253 wrote:
requiem99 wrote:
IF it grows on you? How many listens over how long a period did you give it? I guess you didn't read any other reviews of the disc, did you? Next time learn how to review something that is older than you are. Newbie.


Christ on a bike! He didn't like the fucking album! Give it a rest!


Well, obviously anyone that doesn't agree with him is just not sophisticated enough to comprehend it. Just like anyone who thinks Biomechanical is any good is a Slipknot loving newb.
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droneriot
incelgender

Joined: Sat Aug 28, 2004 1:17 pm
Posts: 9068
Location: Spahn Ranch
PostPosted: Thu Sep 06, 2007 7:47 am 
 

I find myself in almost full agreement with DawnOfTheShred's recent X-Factor review, even though I think he put the rating a tad too high. Given the content of his review, I think something in the 30s or maybe 40s would have been more appropriate. Nonetheless, very good review.
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requiem99
The Buddhist Killbot

Joined: Wed Jun 30, 2004 4:11 pm
Posts: 118
Location: British Indian Ocean Territory
PostPosted: Fri Sep 07, 2007 12:40 am 
 

pinpals wrote:
anyone who thinks Biomechanical is any good is a Pantera loving newb.

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MushroomStamp
Metal newbie

Joined: Sat Feb 25, 2006 11:07 pm
Posts: 395
Location: Helsinki, Finland
PostPosted: Fri Sep 07, 2007 1:38 am 
 

For At The Gates' Slaughter of the Soul:

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=298#40840

HEIL
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Bash
Talking Meat

Joined: Sat Mar 26, 2005 6:06 am
Posts: 520
Location: Finland
PostPosted: Fri Sep 07, 2007 3:40 am 
 

I'm getting annoyed by all the SoTS bashing. It's always been there but it's been getting out of hand as of late. It's a solid mid-80% record, faggots. I'd write a review if there weren't a shit-ton already.

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MushroomStamp
Metal newbie

Joined: Sat Feb 25, 2006 11:07 pm
Posts: 395
Location: Helsinki, Finland
PostPosted: Fri Sep 07, 2007 3:59 am 
 

Monotonous and tepid is what it is.
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Mungo
Metalhead

Joined: Mon Jan 16, 2006 7:41 pm
Posts: 663
Location: Australia
PostPosted: Fri Sep 07, 2007 5:40 am 
 

Bash wrote:
I'm getting annoyed by all the SoTS bashing. It's always been there but it's been getting out of hand as of late. It's a solid mid-80% record, faggots. I'd write a review if there weren't a shit-ton already.


Agreed. Since 'SouthofHeaven11' posted that positive review the 'haterz' seem to have made it their mission to lower the review percentage back to where it was before. Comparing it to their early work is silly seeing as it is pretty different. It's got good riffing, suitable vocals and competent vocals. It is a solid record IMO.

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cinedracusio
Metal newbie

Joined: Thu May 26, 2005 7:59 am
Posts: 169
Location: Romania
PostPosted: Fri Sep 07, 2007 6:33 am 
 

I reached total nirvana while reading caspian's review for Drudkh's latest piece of shit. This guy definitely belongs to the reviewers' creme de la creme...:love:

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Sean16
Moody Tabulator of Torn Hymens

Joined: Sat May 07, 2005 11:03 am
Posts: 317
Location: Japan
PostPosted: Fri Sep 07, 2007 12:50 pm 
 

Exactly. When I read a review from caspian, I'm reading a fucking REVIEW. Not some ego-driven pseudo-essay where the so-called reviewer talks 1)about himself 2)about what is "metal" in general, as it's hardly enough for his incredible talent 3)about the band's image, fanbase, legacy, in fact everything that isn't its music 4)very quickly at the end about the album he's reviewing, because his masterpiece wouldn't be accepted without (what a shame).

Caspian's reviews on the contrary may not always be very well-written (especially his early works), but only consist in one thing: he states whether he likes an album or not, and explains why, basing himself above all on the only thing that should matter: the music.
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All I know is, it would be good if it didn't suck so much.

I am the one lost Child, in this mediocrity.

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requiem99
The Buddhist Killbot

Joined: Wed Jun 30, 2004 4:11 pm
Posts: 118
Location: British Indian Ocean Territory
PostPosted: Fri Sep 07, 2007 2:13 pm 
 

You're a fool if you think that image, fanbase, and legacy aren't important to metal fans. Metal fans take their music more seriously than any other genre I am aware of, and thus if a band thinks it important enough to focus on polishing or changing their image (in any way, not just towards the mainstream), expanding or narrowing their fanbase (again, not just towards the mainstream), or just totally fucking up any "legacy" they might have had (Nocturnal Rites comes to mind as an easy example) it's damn well important enough to talk about in a review.

Whether or not you think it is relevant is irrelevant, enough people believe it is, so it is. Oh, and we should probably take this argument to it's own thread (if you really feel it must continue).

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Gutterscream
The Last Old Schooler in Town

Joined: Fri Feb 18, 2005 3:59 pm
Posts: 1083
Location: United States
PostPosted: Fri Sep 07, 2007 2:17 pm 
 

requiem99 wrote:
You're a fool if you think that image, fanbase, and legacy aren't important to metal fans.
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