In additon to being relative, or at least semi-relative, to the release by using factual framework or some sort of pulse-of-the-times interpretation, I think it simply adds color.

Exactly. When I read a review from caspian, I'm reading a fucking REVIEW. Not some ego-driven pseudo-essay where the so-called reviewer talks 1)about himself 2)about what is "metal" in general, as it's hardly enough for his incredible talent 3)about the band's image, fanbase, legacy, in fact everything that isn't its music 4)very quickly at the end about the album he's reviewing, because his masterpiece wouldn't be accepted without (what a shame).

Caspian's reviews on the contrary may not always be very well-written (especially his early works), but only consist in one thing: he states whether he likes an album or not, and explains why, basing himself above all on the only thing that should matter: the music.

It's an interesting bit of trolling he does there. A bit too obvious to work, but we all know the sacred ways of the troll take a few years of practice.

well yes, the possibility that it's a troll is quite likely (there's no way it's worth 87%), but nonetheless I still thought that split was quite an improvement on the original release.

Well, those "if you like Burzum and Summoning you're going to enjoy this too"-bits tell me he's either trolling, or he's never heard a single song of either Burzum or Summoning in his whole life. The former seems more likely there.

95% of your posts are complaint-centered, don't you have anything better to do with your time?

Nah, as far as my posting goes, I think I'm fine the way things are, and heaps above the average.

If there is one word to describe this album, it's "overrated," though if I could add other words, I would add "meandering, directionless, abrupt, and boring."

On Orchid, Opeth plays a mixture of Gothenburg metal and obscure 70s prog rock, more heavily leaning towards the latter. The problem is, it manages to combine the worst aspects of both and forego the strengths of both genres. Opeth simply lacks the aggression, power, and energy of death metal, and the sheer inventive energy and technical skill of the old prog bands.

10+ minute long songs, a variety of vocal styles, and acoustic passages make up the ingredients of Orchid. On paper, this should sound great, but what works with ELP, Rush, and Yes does not work with Opeth, since Opeth simply lacks the songwriting skill to keep things interesting throughout these huge 10+ minute pieces. The songs come off as tedious, stuck-together riff collages and acoustic passages stuck in there as an aftertnought. This album meanders so much without making a point that one is forced to wonder how large the cloud of cannabis smoke was in the studio that day.

That's not to say the band doesn't have talent. Ackerfeldt is a very good vocalist and the musicians aren't too bad themselves. But, you can have all the talent in the world and still produce a load of crap. Talent does not lead to the creation of fine art.

Congratulations, Muloc7253, after reading that new review for Agent Orange you're officially off the hook, much earlier than I expected.

Sodom sounds exactly like Destruction?? .....WHAT.....THE.....FUCK.....?????

He also called Tank glam rock.

The majority of musicians are artless, sub-sophomoric mongoloids, and your sonic idols are weaker than they seem. I'm not here to pat anyone on the back, I'm here to speak the truth. You don't like it? Dry those tears on your Metallica shirt and read on...

Congratulations, Muloc7253, after reading that new review for Agent Orange you're officially off the hook, much earlier than I expected.

Sodom sounds exactly like Destruction?? .....WHAT.....THE.....FUCK.....?????

Sounds like he's trying to be Falco, except Falco actually knew what he was talking about most of the time. Kreator, Destruction, and Sodom all sound alike....right, and Metallica sounds just like Slayer. It's all clicks and whistles to me!

Napero's St. Anger review is amazing.

Seconded.

Sounds like he's trying to be Falco, except Falco actually knew what he was talking about most of the time. Kreator, Destruction, and Sodom all sound alike....right, and Metallica sounds just like Slayer. It's all clicks and whistles to me!

The guy just sounds like he doesn't like thrash, in which case I have to wonder why the fuck he is reviewing the album in the first place.

The majority of negative reviews for the less-true genres of metal (metalcore, melodeath) are from people who loathe the genre to begin with. Nothing new under the sun.

But... it's thrash! How can anyone not love Thrash?

OMG, greatest review ever!!!!!!

He also called Tank glam rock.

Noktorn's latest Type O Negative review is a very stirring piece of work. It's a great piece of writing, actually, and makes me want to hear the album again after dismissing it on its initial release. http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=3534#29088

Yeah I know
That my world is coming down
Yeah I know
I know
I'm the one who brought it down
Brought it down
Bring it on down

Steele never took 'goth' very seriously, as evidenced by the jokes on the band's earlier releases, but he took it seriously enough to love the community for a while. It's the same thing where we, as people who love heavy metal, regularly mock it or poke fun at it, but love it and still take it seriously.

Peter grew up in the NYHC scene and saw goth develop along with it, and it seems to describe, being released in 1999, the destruction of what 'goth' meant, and how it was turned into the commodity that it is today. Now there's no 'goth culture'; there's a goth 'scene' that's lost all of the beauty of what it had before.

'World Coming Down' was the only Type O Negative album devoid of any jokes,