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Necroticism174
Kite String Popper

Joined: Mon Mar 30, 2009 6:46 pm
Posts: 5352
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Mon Jan 14, 2013 3:19 pm 
 

Folkemon_ wrote:
Sun, Mr, Mrs, Fly, Hell, Fall(ing), Time, Sinner, King(s), Little, World, Future, Stars

One internets to the person who can tell me the band that these words remind you of that im thinking of

WE ALL LIVE IN FUTURE WORLD! A WORLD THATS FULL OF LIIIIGGHHTTT!
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theposaga about a Moonblood rehearsal wrote:
So good. Makes me want to break up with my girlfriend, quit my job and never move out of my parents house. Just totally destroy my life for Satan.

http://halberddoom.bandcamp.com/releases

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BastardHead
Worse than Stalin

Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2005 7:53 pm
Posts: 10857
Location: Oswego, Illinois
PostPosted: Mon Jan 14, 2013 3:36 pm 
 

"Mr. Torture sells pain
To the housewives in Spain
He knows just what they crave
Mistah Torchuuuuuh
If you're feeling alone
Then just pick up your phone
Dial 1-800-Mr. Torture!"

This chorus was written and performed by legends of their genre. People who hate power metal, I can see why sometimes.
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Empyreal
The Final Frontier

Joined: Thu Nov 30, 2006 6:58 pm
Posts: 35140
Location: Where the dead rule the night
PostPosted: Mon Jan 14, 2013 3:37 pm 
 

Awful lyrics, yeah, but when you hear Deris sing it? Pure awesomeness.
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BastardHead
Worse than Stalin

Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2005 7:53 pm
Posts: 10857
Location: Oswego, Illinois
PostPosted: Mon Jan 14, 2013 3:39 pm 
 

As much as I ripped that album in the past and as much as I still really don't like it on the whole, it do find that song irresistable.

But we can all agree that when it comes to modern Helloween, Gambling with the Devil owns all.
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the reason your grandmother has all those plastic sheets on her furniture is because she is probably a squirter

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inhumanist
Metal freak

Joined: Fri Jan 14, 2011 5:09 pm
Posts: 5634
PostPosted: Mon Jan 14, 2013 3:44 pm 
 

Early last month someone left a C4 bomb in my city's central station, without detonator as they now found out. Now the thing is that the police immediately started investigating in the "Islamist scene" because one of the suspects apparently was an Islamist. I won't speculate where they got that suspect, but it also needs to be noted that a camera caught the culprit AND they found a hair and he's described as "bright-skinned European or North-American".

Of course ethnicity doesn't determine the religious orientation, but, well, they haven't got a single clue yet and I think if we learned one thing from recent events then it's that the authorities are shamefully prone to ignoring the very real threat of Nazi terrorism.

:annoyed:
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Subrick
Metal Strongman

Joined: Sun Sep 12, 2010 7:27 pm
Posts: 10167
Location: United States
PostPosted: Mon Jan 14, 2013 3:47 pm 
 

http://gunshyassassin.com/news/dave-mus ... p-kitchen/

As much of an insane rambling twat as he can be, this is actually a pretty good thing he's doing.
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Earthcubed wrote:
I'm just perpetually annoyed by Sean William Scott and he's never been in a movie where I wasn't rooting for his head to sever by strange means.

Blacksoul Seraphim Gothic Doom Metal
Autumn's Ashes Melodic Death/Doom Metal

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Aszfargoth
Metal newbie

Joined: Thu May 13, 2004 8:16 am
Posts: 180
Location: Germany
PostPosted: Mon Jan 14, 2013 3:59 pm 
 

inhumanist wrote:
Early last month someone left a C4 bomb in my city's central station, without detonator as they now found out. Now the thing is that the police immediately started investigating in the "Islamist scene" because one of the suspects apparently was an Islamist. I won't speculate where they got that suspect, but it also needs to be noted that a camera caught the culprit AND they found a hair and he's described as "bright-skinned European or North-American".

Of course ethnicity doesn't determine the religious orientation, but, well, they haven't got a single clue yet and I think if we learned one thing from recent events then it's that the authorities are shamefully prone to ignoring the very real threat of Nazi terrorism.

:annoyed:


Pierre Vogel's at it again, I tells ya!

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ModusOperandi
Metalhead

Joined: Thu May 06, 2010 12:52 am
Posts: 1553
PostPosted: Mon Jan 14, 2013 4:27 pm 
 

Subrick wrote:
http://gunshyassassin.com/news/dave-mustaine-funding-haiti-soup-kitchen/

As much of an insane rambling twat as he can be, this is actually a pretty good thing he's doing.

Ehh. A good thing, agreed, but it hardly makes him any less of a knob in my opinion. If someone has the position and the resources to benefit others less fortunate, they should just do it and let the news carry itself. Perhaps raise awareness and get others to contribute behind a centralized vehicle, but not this "By the way, I just did this really awesome thing, so :tongue:"

Couching it with statements like "I know not everyone here is a fan, but that’s OK too; this message will be waiting for you when you change your opinion of me/us." and "I am so very grateful, and I love you all so very much (yes, even you haters), because even when I am being vilified and having my character assassinated..." reeks of smarmy, passive-aggressive contempt and more concern about how he's been portrayed through his own words than whom he's trying to help. Also: "haters." Anyone that uses that term to label those that simply fucking disagree with them, regardless of how vehemently, are also mentally deficient.
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AT FIRST, I'M NOT AN IDIOT, MORE RESPECT.

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Morrigan
Crone of War

Joined: Sat Aug 10, 2002 7:27 am
Posts: 10527
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Mon Jan 14, 2013 4:45 pm 
 

Agreed, he's doing it to score brownie points by own words. Pathetic.
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I work with plenty of Oriental and Indian persons and we get along pretty good, and some females as well.

Markeri, in 2013 wrote:
a fairly agreed upon date [of the beginning of metal] is 1969. Metal is almost 25 years old

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Erosion of Humanity
Destroyer of the Gods

Joined: Thu Sep 13, 2012 5:12 pm
Posts: 5898
Location: over yon hill
PostPosted: Mon Jan 14, 2013 4:50 pm 
 

This is a little belated but I've been stuck at work all day, I actually saw Will Smith at Ozzfest 7 or 8 years ago (whenever Jada's band was on the bill) in Chicago. And damnit BastardHead now I have to listen to Mr. Torture on my way back.
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LlamaTrainer
Metalhead

Joined: Sat Apr 24, 2010 5:04 pm
Posts: 702
Location: Prince George, B.C.
PostPosted: Mon Jan 14, 2013 5:00 pm 
 

Any other Hank Williams III fans on here? One of my friends showed me this song and now I'm hooked!
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TheMizwaOfMuzzyTah
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Feb 09, 2010 2:18 pm
Posts: 1792
Location: the emerald forest
PostPosted: Mon Jan 14, 2013 5:01 pm 
 

I love Hank 3. Ghost to a Ghost is fucking phenomenal. Excited to hear more from him.

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Subrick
Metal Strongman

Joined: Sun Sep 12, 2010 7:27 pm
Posts: 10167
Location: United States
PostPosted: Mon Jan 14, 2013 5:02 pm 
 

I remember reading somewhere that Wicked Wisdom (Will Smith's wife's band) played in front of an audience at a festival they were playing on that sat down for their entire set because of how shite they are. I believe it was Ozzfest as that's the only festival I've seen their name attached to ever.
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Earthcubed wrote:
I'm just perpetually annoyed by Sean William Scott and he's never been in a movie where I wasn't rooting for his head to sever by strange means.

Blacksoul Seraphim Gothic Doom Metal
Autumn's Ashes Melodic Death/Doom Metal

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Erosion of Humanity
Destroyer of the Gods

Joined: Thu Sep 13, 2012 5:12 pm
Posts: 5898
Location: over yon hill
PostPosted: Mon Jan 14, 2013 5:19 pm 
 

I never heard that before if it's true it's really funny but from what I can remember yeah they sucked pretty bad.
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Man is truly a wretched thing, and the forest is committed to expunging him from existence.

Azmodes wrote:
It combines two of my favourite things: penis innuendo and derigin.

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wreath_of_coils
Metalhead

Joined: Thu Jun 02, 2011 12:38 am
Posts: 497
PostPosted: Mon Jan 14, 2013 5:27 pm 
 

LlamaTrainer wrote:
Any other Hank Williams III fans on here? One of my friends showed me this song and now I'm hooked!


His live show is pretty badass. He crams a lot of music into his set. His "hellbilly" style is like a nice shot of cold, hard whiskey. Goes down the hatch like medicine. :-D

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BastardHead
Worse than Stalin

Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2005 7:53 pm
Posts: 10857
Location: Oswego, Illinois
PostPosted: Mon Jan 14, 2013 6:25 pm 
 

Subrick wrote:
I remember reading somewhere that Wicked Wisdom (Will Smith's wife's band) played in front of an audience at a festival they were playing on that sat down for their entire set because of how shite they are. I believe it was Ozzfest as that's the only festival I've seen their name attached to ever.


At that Ozzfest (had to have been the same one Erosion of Humanity was at, 2005 I'm almost positive), Wicked Wisdom only got two songs in before they were being booed and pelted with debris. I think the guitarist (or it could have been Jada herself, I'm not sure) got clobbered with a shoe and so they just gave up and left early. While that kind of behavior isn't cool, it's worth noting that I've seen bands get booed offstage and smattered with debris twice in my life, and the other band was fucking Limp Bizkit.

In other news, I've been actually saving my money lately (something I don't normally do very well, but being dirt poor for nine months puts things in perspective), so I figured I should buy myself some new pants finally (I'm the typical metalhead with 70+ shirts and like four or five pairs of jeans). So with my newfound wealth, I walk into Walmart, and walk out with literally every single pair of jeans that could fit me comfortably. How many do you think that was?

ONE. ONE PAIR.

See, you can't tell in most photos of me because I tend to wear loose clothing (no reason I should wear XL shirts, but I do because I like the sleeves going to my elbow), but I have fucking thunder thighs. Normal upper half of my body, normal calves, even a normal ass, but thanks to the genes I inherited from my dad, my goddamn thighs are twice the size they should be. Ergo, I need to wear relaxed fit jeans, otherwise I can't even put my hands in my pockets due to it being so tight in that area. What makes this difficult is that I wear a 31' waist, so 31x32 is apparently a mythical size since every other human being on the planet has an even numbered waist size but me apparently, and almost every 31 that does exist doesn't accommodate for people that weren't drawn by fucking Tim Burton.

Yeah yeah white people problems buy a belt et cetera. Point is that I stumped a major corporation with my ass.
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niix wrote:
the reason your grandmother has all those plastic sheets on her furniture is because she is probably a squirter

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Zodijackyl
63 Axe Handles High

Joined: Wed Apr 30, 2008 5:39 pm
Posts: 7601
Location: United States
PostPosted: Mon Jan 14, 2013 6:42 pm 
 

BastardHead wrote:
See, you can't tell in most photos of me because I tend to wear loose clothing (no reason I should wear XL shirts, but I do because I like the sleeves going to my elbow), but I have fucking thunder thighs. Normal upper half of my body, normal calves, even a normal ass, but thanks to the genes I inherited from my dad, my goddamn thighs are twice the size they should be. Ergo, I need to wear relaxed fit jeans, otherwise I can't even put my hands in my pockets due to it being so tight in that area. What makes this difficult is that I wear a 31' waist, so 31x32 is apparently a mythical size since every other human being on the planet has an even numbered waist size but me apparently, and almost every 31 that does exist doesn't accommodate for people that weren't drawn by fucking Tim Burton.

Yeah yeah white people problems buy a belt et cetera. Point is that I stumped a major corporation with my ass.


Another mythical size of pants are long sizes (34s that run long, or 36) with a waist that isn't either tiny or massive. They stop around 36 and don't appear again until 44 or 46, and it seems like inconsistent vanity sizing makes that gap even wider. Apparently all tall people are either professional athletes or colossal fatasses.

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Smoking_Gnu
Chicago Favorite

Joined: Sat Mar 15, 2008 11:22 pm
Posts: 4797
PostPosted: Mon Jan 14, 2013 6:46 pm 
 

BastardHead wrote:
In other news, I've been actually saving my money lately (something I don't normally do very well, but being dirt poor for nine months puts things in perspective), so I figured I should buy myself some new pants finally (I'm the typical metalhead with 70+ shirts and like four or five pairs of jeans). So with my newfound wealth, I walk into Walmart, and walk out with literally every single pair of jeans that could fit me comfortably. How many do you think that was?

ONE. ONE PAIR.

See, you can't tell in most photos of me because I tend to wear loose clothing (no reason I should wear XL shirts, but I do because I like the sleeves going to my elbow), but I have fucking thunder thighs. Normal upper half of my body, normal calves, even a normal ass, but thanks to the genes I inherited from my dad, my goddamn thighs are twice the size they should be. Ergo, I need to wear relaxed fit jeans, otherwise I can't even put my hands in my pockets due to it being so tight in that area. What makes this difficult is that I wear a 31' waist, so 31x32 is apparently a mythical size since every other human being on the planet has an even numbered waist size but me apparently, and almost every 31 that does exist doesn't accommodate for people that weren't drawn by fucking Tim Burton.

Yeah yeah white people problems buy a belt et cetera. Point is that I stumped a major corporation with my ass.


On the opposite side of things, I have the same problem because I'm tall and skinny as hell so the only jeans I can find at most normal clothing stores are 32x34 slims (American sizing; no idea what that equates to other measurements) and even those are a bit short on me.
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Slayer are not as uneducated as people think, some of them did know how to read.

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Erosion of Humanity
Destroyer of the Gods

Joined: Thu Sep 13, 2012 5:12 pm
Posts: 5898
Location: over yon hill
PostPosted: Mon Jan 14, 2013 6:49 pm 
 

It's not just you guys don't worry I'm a 34/30 and I have trouble buying pants too, I currently own 2 pair of jeans. In unrelated news I almost crashed my car on the way home today, my fault I know better than to listen to Still We Go while I'm driving.
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Man is truly a wretched thing, and the forest is committed to expunging him from existence.

Azmodes wrote:
It combines two of my favourite things: penis innuendo and derigin.

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LanceCriminal
Metal newbie

Joined: Sun Jan 13, 2013 6:25 am
Posts: 75
Location: United States
PostPosted: Mon Jan 14, 2013 9:44 pm 
 

LlamaTrainer wrote:
Any other Hank Williams III fans on here? One of my friends showed me this song and now I'm hooked!


I don't listen to much country, but when I do it's almost always Johnny Cash or Hank III.

If you liked that check out the song Three Shades of Black....

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Goatfangs
58.2% Metal

Joined: Tue Mar 18, 2008 5:02 pm
Posts: 2804
Location: United States
PostPosted: Mon Jan 14, 2013 10:09 pm 
 

I've been getting fatter... so I either outgrow jeans, or I wear the ones that fit me to the point where they get holes in the knees, crotch and arse. I swear in the one pair that hole is worn out from excessive farting.
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LGBTQ+
Unashamedly colorful

And they'll tell you black is really white - The moon is just the sun at night - And when you walk in golden halls - You get to keep the gold that falls - It's Heaven and Hell

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CrushedRevelation
Devil's right hand

Joined: Sat Nov 12, 2005 8:47 am
Posts: 6070
Location: The cavern's core
PostPosted: Mon Jan 14, 2013 10:22 pm 
 

Where's Starmere? This Spanish outfit Ataraxy are fucking awesome. I need to get a hold of their full length asap! Fantastic display of finely tuned death metal worship, with ample crushing power.

Maybe check out some Thevetat as well, pretty damn good stuff too, though more straight forward in nature. Need to hear a little more though...
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BloodSacrificeShaman
Leopold Herman Stotch

Joined: Wed May 11, 2011 3:20 am
Posts: 2109
Location: Australia
PostPosted: Mon Jan 14, 2013 10:28 pm 
 

Well that's just beautiful. Ordered a Candlemass album and got a Between the Buried and Me album instead. Gods damn it. In all the hundreds of things I've bought on eBay, this is the first time this has happened. I wonder how they managed that.

EDIT: Just listened to one of their songs on YouTube. Doesn't sound as bad as the band name had me envision, but still, I want my damn Candlemass!
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volutetheswarth
Our Lady of Perpetual Butthurt

Joined: Mon Mar 21, 2011 8:37 pm
Posts: 3489
Location: Australia
PostPosted: Mon Jan 14, 2013 11:10 pm 
 

I don't listen to much country, but when I do it's The Carter Family and Jimmie Rodgers. None of that new age hogwash.

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Empyreal
The Final Frontier

Joined: Thu Nov 30, 2006 6:58 pm
Posts: 35140
Location: Where the dead rule the night
PostPosted: Mon Jan 14, 2013 11:41 pm 
 

LlamaTrainer wrote:
Any other Hank Williams III fans on here? One of my friends showed me this song and now I'm hooked!


This is one of my favorite songs of all time.
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~Guest 132892
Wastelander

Joined: Tue Nov 20, 2007 12:18 am
Posts: 6349
PostPosted: Tue Jan 15, 2013 12:38 am 
 

For the record, Gypsy Folk and Bluegrass >>>>>>>>>> Country.

Fact.

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Trashy_Rambo
Metalhead

Joined: Sun Sep 07, 2008 8:04 pm
Posts: 1821
Location: United States
PostPosted: Tue Jan 15, 2013 1:57 am 
 

Any fans of dark americana here? I'm not sure I'm calling it by the right name (As I've seen a million different terms like alternative country), but bands like Strawfoot and Those Poor Bastards are pretty damned awesome.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ywK84shjzWw
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tCjzSaP0 ... ults_video
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ModusOperandi
Metalhead

Joined: Thu May 06, 2010 12:52 am
Posts: 1553
PostPosted: Tue Jan 15, 2013 2:22 am 
 

I'm not a fan of country/western in terms of mainstream artists, what's "known," what gets radio play, etc., but those are some damn good songs, Trashy_Rambo. Never heard of either, but more is welcome!
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AT FIRST, I'M NOT AN IDIOT, MORE RESPECT.

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Metantoine
Slave to Santa

Joined: Sat Jun 21, 2008 5:00 pm
Posts: 12030
Location: Montréal
PostPosted: Tue Jan 15, 2013 2:26 am 
 

Check 16 Horsepower amd Wovenhand then, they're my favorites of the genre.
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~Guest 132892
Wastelander

Joined: Tue Nov 20, 2007 12:18 am
Posts: 6349
PostPosted: Tue Jan 15, 2013 2:28 am 
 

Trashy_Rambo wrote:
Any fans of dark americana here? I'm not sure I'm calling it by the right name (As I've seen a million different terms like alternative country), but bands like Strawfoot and Those Poor Bastards are pretty damned awesome.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ywK84shjzWw
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tCjzSaP0 ... ults_video

:hyper:

O'Death and obviously The Devil Makes Three as well.

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doomster999
Keeper of the Dreary Realm

Joined: Sat Aug 04, 2012 2:58 am
Posts: 991
Location: India
PostPosted: Tue Jan 15, 2013 3:19 am 
 

LlamaTrainer wrote:
Any other Hank Williams III fans on here? One of my friends showed me this song and now I'm hooked!


Hank 3 is one hell of a talented guy. Big fan.
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gomorro wrote:
Infact I use to have a relly hot friend from there but unfurtunetly the last party we have I was really wasted and grab her ass and it cause a huge problem. Her dad (that is a marine) wants to ripp my nuts... thinks are not the same...

Last.fm

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Under_Starmere
Abhorrent Fish-Man

Joined: Tue Apr 24, 2007 5:00 pm
Posts: 5568
PostPosted: Tue Jan 15, 2013 3:25 am 
 

CrushedRevelation wrote:
Where's Starmere? This Spanish outfit Ataraxy are fucking awesome. I need to get a hold of their full length asap! Fantastic display of finely tuned death metal worship, with ample crushing power.

Maybe check out some Thevetat as well, pretty damn good stuff too, though more straight forward in nature. Need to hear a little more though...


Yaarr, Ataraxy I happened to discover on the same day as Venenum a few weeks ago. Impressive stuff. A part of me wishes their production had a bit more obscurity/filth to it, but it hardly matters; their songwriting and technique are really well developed for such a young band. Great work, I'll bet their next offering will be even better!

Thanks for mentioning Thevetat... they and their related predecessor band Ceremonium sound interesting, review-wise. Will YouTube them tomorrow when I have more time.

Say Crushed, did you check out Abyssal's Novit enim Dominus qui sunt eius yet? If not, I would strongly goad you toward it.

http://abyssal-home.bandcamp.com/

Speaking of amazingly well developed young death metal projects...
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hakarl
Metel fraek

Joined: Sat Sep 29, 2007 1:41 pm
Posts: 8816
Location: Finland
PostPosted: Tue Jan 15, 2013 3:30 am 
 

androdion's review had me quite interested. I certainly need to check that Ataraxy out.
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Trashy_Rambo
Metalhead

Joined: Sun Sep 07, 2008 8:04 pm
Posts: 1821
Location: United States
PostPosted: Tue Jan 15, 2013 3:55 am 
 

iAm wrote:
Trashy_Rambo wrote:
Any fans of dark americana here? I'm not sure I'm calling it by the right name (As I've seen a million different terms like alternative country), but bands like Strawfoot and Those Poor Bastards are pretty damned awesome.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ywK84shjzWw
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tCjzSaP0 ... ults_video

:hyper:

O'Death and obviously The Devil Makes Three as well.


I really like O'Death, but haven't heard the other. Will look into it :D
ModusOperandi, a good starting point would be Rodentia: The Best of Dark Roots Music. It's the compilation that got me started on the stuff.
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~Guest 132892
Wastelander

Joined: Tue Nov 20, 2007 12:18 am
Posts: 6349
PostPosted: Tue Jan 15, 2013 4:02 am 
 

Well, tDM3 aren't really part of that scene. They're more of just a straight up Bakersfield sounding Bluegrass band with pretty dark lyrical content. Great stuff, though.

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inhumanist
Metal freak

Joined: Fri Jan 14, 2011 5:09 pm
Posts: 5634
PostPosted: Tue Jan 15, 2013 5:21 am 
 

BastardHead wrote:
At that Ozzfest (had to have been the same one Erosion of Humanity was at, 2005 I'm almost positive), Wicked Wisdom only got two songs in before they were being booed and pelted with debris. I think the guitarist (or it could have been Jada herself, I'm not sure) got clobbered with a shoe and so they just gave up and left early. While that kind of behavior isn't cool, it's worth noting that I've seen bands get booed offstage and smattered with debris twice in my life, and the other band was fucking Limp Bizkit.

Must've sucked for the one person who came because they enjoy the band.
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Under_Starmere wrote:
iHumanism: Philosophy phoned in.
Metantoine wrote:
If Summoning is the sugar of fantasy metal, is Manowar the bacon?

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shouvince
Veteran

Joined: Sat Jan 22, 2005 9:11 am
Posts: 3225
PostPosted: Tue Jan 15, 2013 6:18 am 
 

Aii! Crushed & Starmere, if you guys are looking for filthy/raw-ish production for death metal, you could give Nephelium's 'Coils of Entropy' a listen. It could be the sauce you're looking for.

Bastardhead, I can understand what you said about your tshirt sizes. I do the same except I get L shirts just so that my upper arms are covered. Anyway, now that I think about my clothes, I havent bought non-band apparel in close to a year.


Last edited by shouvince on Tue Jan 15, 2013 6:34 am, edited 1 time in total.
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inhumanist
Metal freak

Joined: Fri Jan 14, 2011 5:09 pm
Posts: 5634
PostPosted: Tue Jan 15, 2013 6:29 am 
 

I'm gonna see Impaled Nazarene in August :hyper:
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Under_Starmere wrote:
iHumanism: Philosophy phoned in.
Metantoine wrote:
If Summoning is the sugar of fantasy metal, is Manowar the bacon?

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CrushedRevelation
Devil's right hand

Joined: Sat Nov 12, 2005 8:47 am
Posts: 6070
Location: The cavern's core
PostPosted: Tue Jan 15, 2013 6:33 am 
 

Under_Starmere wrote:
Say Crushed, did you check out Abyssal's Novit enim Dominus qui sunt eius yet? If not, I would strongly goad you toward it.

http://abyssal-home.bandcamp.com/

Speaking of amazingly well developed young death metal projects...


Yes, contacted them a few days ago and is on my to buy list (with the others), looking forward to having both of their albums for closer inspection :thumbsup:

shouvince wrote:
Aii! Crushed & Starmere, if you guys are looking for filthy/raw-ish production for death metal, you could give Nephelium's 'Coils of Entropy' a listen. It could be the sauce you're looking for.


I will be looking into this, and I'll check back later...
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Gelseth_Andrano
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Joined: Sat Sep 11, 2010 4:22 pm
Posts: 2693
Location: Vegas, baby!
PostPosted: Tue Jan 15, 2013 6:37 am 
 

Smoking_Gnu wrote:
BastardHead wrote:
In other news, I've been actually saving my money lately (something I don't normally do very well, but being dirt poor for nine months puts things in perspective), so I figured I should buy myself some new pants finally (I'm the typical metalhead with 70+ shirts and like four or five pairs of jeans). So with my newfound wealth, I walk into Walmart, and walk out with literally every single pair of jeans that could fit me comfortably. How many do you think that was?

ONE. ONE PAIR.

See, you can't tell in most photos of me because I tend to wear loose clothing (no reason I should wear XL shirts, but I do because I like the sleeves going to my elbow), but I have fucking thunder thighs. Normal upper half of my body, normal calves, even a normal ass, but thanks to the genes I inherited from my dad, my goddamn thighs are twice the size they should be. Ergo, I need to wear relaxed fit jeans, otherwise I can't even put my hands in my pockets due to it being so tight in that area. What makes this difficult is that I wear a 31' waist, so 31x32 is apparently a mythical size since every other human being on the planet has an even numbered waist size but me apparently, and almost every 31 that does exist doesn't accommodate for people that weren't drawn by fucking Tim Burton.

Yeah yeah white people problems buy a belt et cetera. Point is that I stumped a major corporation with my ass.


On the opposite side of things, I have the same problem because I'm tall and skinny as hell so the only jeans I can find at most normal clothing stores are 32x34 slims (American sizing; no idea what that equates to other measurements) and even those are a bit short on me.


I feel your pain, fellas. Finding clothes to fit me is a nightmare. Being 6'6" and a little pudgetastic is terrible. My bone structure is just ungodly large, so, say I want to buy a dress shirt, or even just any long sleeve shirt, I have to get at least a 3X to fit my upper body, which leaves way too much room at the lower body. And of course, I need like 38" sleeves, so even with a massively large shirt, I have no choice but to roll 'em on up. Don't get me started on shoes. I need to learn how to sew well and cobble so I can make my own damn clothes.
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