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Subrick
Metal Strongman

Joined: Sun Sep 12, 2010 7:27 pm
Posts: 10167
Location: United States
PostPosted: Thu Jun 06, 2013 8:39 pm 
 

Yeah, the images still don't show up. All four links go to the site's home page.
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Evil_Johnny_666
Reigning king of the night

Joined: Wed Jun 06, 2007 8:54 pm
Posts: 4008
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Thu Jun 06, 2013 8:45 pm 
 

Maybe it's the webpage that sucks? This link works?

http://www.dvdbeaver.com/film2/dvdrevie ... lu-ray.htm

Compare the upper and lower pics.

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iamntbatman
Chaos Breed

Joined: Sat Feb 21, 2009 5:55 am
Posts: 11421
Location: Tyrn Gorthad
PostPosted: Thu Jun 06, 2013 9:06 pm 
 

Just watched Stake Land. Kind of a mixed experience. None of the acting was particularly noteworthy and the script wasn't really anything to write home about. The movie was ostensibly about vampires but it was basically a zombie apocalypse/Walking Dead type of movie, except you gotta stake 'em in the heart instead of shoot 'em in the head. The effects looked pretty decent for a low budget movie and a few scenes were pretty good. The best aspects by far were the cinematography and music, which both were really good.
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Necroticism174
Kite String Popper

Joined: Mon Mar 30, 2009 6:46 pm
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Location: Canada
PostPosted: Fri Jun 07, 2013 1:32 am 
 

Definitely. That movie left almost no impression on me, which is weird. The first 45 minutes or so were definitely the best part. Unremarkable last half.
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So good. Makes me want to break up with my girlfriend, quit my job and never move out of my parents house. Just totally destroy my life for Satan.

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failsafeman
Digital Dictator

Joined: Wed Sep 01, 2004 8:45 am
Posts: 11852
Location: In the Arena
PostPosted: Fri Jun 07, 2013 2:23 am 
 

Fellow fans of good-bad movies, I just watched Gor. It was FUCKING AMAZING. It must have been made by people who have absolutely no idea how to make a movie, but they're familiar with how movies generally go, so the scene progression is fairly standard - nerdy, bullied professor from the real world gets magically transported to another dimension, where he witnesses barbarians pillaging a town and taking slaves. He tries to escape but accidentally ends up killing the son of the warlord who was leading the raid, and gets taken in by the refugees from the village. Meanwhile, the warlord takes the village's "Home Stone", which is some magical macguffin that the main character for some reason can't return home without. So, they have a training montage where the nerdy hero gets good at swordplay and archery, and then they set out across the desert, where the motley crew picks up a whimsical dwarf sidekick and the formerly nerdy hero proves that he's worthy of his teammates' respect and gradually grows closer to the heroine. Then there's the final climactic confrontation with the warlord, the warlord is defeated, and they get the Home Stone back. Sounds pretty basic, right?

WRONG. Gor is based on the first book in a series that started in the 60s (famous for starting a BDSM subculture, but that's another story) so I imagine it follows the sequence of events in the book. Except the director and screenwriter seem to have absolutely no idea WHY these scenes take place; the hero isn't just nerdy, he is fucking STUPID right from the get-go, demanding aspirin and a telephone long after it's clear he is far, far from Earth. The training montage is literally like a minute long at most and takes place almost immediately after he arrives, so he's just suddenly great at fighting. The heroine is obviously totally into the hero right from the very beginning (for absolutely no reason) so there's no need for him to earn her respect; the others are just sort of vaguely pissy when he makes mistakes and then don't even comment on it when he finally comes through at the end. The hero saves the main sidekick guy from quicksand for example but there's no "thanks for saving me, sorry for being a dick before," exchange. They just kinda keep going. There are also TONS of really, really contrived plot elements that come in with no other reason than to get the characters from Scene A to Scene B. For a specific example, the whimsical dwarf character decides to help the group reach their destination because he just happens to know a back route into the warlord's dungeon - there's never an explanation as to WHY he wants to help them, he doesn't ask for money, they never reward him, and while they do save him from this big beardy guy who was bullying him, that's only AFTER he decides to go with them. Then, once he gets them where they need to go, he disappears - only to later reappear with the keys to a pesky locked gate that's giving them trouble. What was he doing all that time? How did he get the keys to that specific gate? How did he know they'd need them ahead of time? Doesn't matter, the plot demanded it!

But that's just the tip of the diarrheaburg. There are numerous, lengthy scenes that are given over to poorly choreographed half-naked dancing (both men and women), half-naked fighting, and half-naked wrestling. In fact, EVERYTHING in this movie is half-naked, think Zardoz but with brown leather instead of red. Want to see a male dwarf's ass in a leather thong? Me too! There's this one particularly hilarious part where they happen upon one of the warlord's slave caravans that's heading to his fortress - a few mounted guards are watching over the slaves as they pull this big cart, so the heroes decide it would be a swell idea to hitch a ride. They all sneak into the cart right under the guard's noses (no, they don't bother creating a distraction or anything) and take a load off while the slaves haul the cart that's suddenly gotten 500 lbs heavier without noticing. Yes, let's add to the burden of miserable dying slaves who may be from the very village most of their group is from! Now you might say 'yeah, but they need a way to sneak inside the fortress,' but they actually bail out BEFORE they get to the fortress and just follow the dwarf to a secret back entrance (that he knows about for reasons that are never explained at all - seriously, it's one thing to hand-wave these explanations away with some quick line, but they never even bother with that much). And what was is IN the slave cart, you ask? Absolutely nothing. So what was the point of the goddamn cart anyway? To get the heroes from point A to point B a little faster, of course! But wait. Why didn't they just fucking walk and forget about the cart? What was the point of that scene at all? It didn't progress the plot. It didn't provide any character development. It wasn't particularly exciting or funny or anything, even by Gor's standards. WHAT WAS IT DOING THERE? Remember, this is just ONE SCENE, and already I have to ask all these questions.

Basically this movie has more plot holes than plot. It's fantastic. And just to put the perfect cherry on top? There's a pointless cameo at the very end from Academy Award winner Jack Palance. It's on Netflix, so watch it already.

Spoiler: show
ImageImage
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darkeningday
xXdArKenIngDayXx

Joined: Mon Aug 23, 2004 1:20 pm
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Location: United States
PostPosted: Fri Jun 07, 2013 4:23 am 
 

I'll watch Gor if you watch Peter Strauss and Molly Ringwald and MICHAEL FUCKING IRONSIDE innnnnnnnnnnn: "Spacehunter: Adventures in the Forbidden Zone"

Which is unfortunately not on Netflix... but I strongly doubt it's particularly difficult to find. It's so terribly wonderful, with more awkward pederastic moments than a Roman Polanski film.
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inhumanist
Metal freak

Joined: Fri Jan 14, 2011 5:09 pm
Posts: 5634
PostPosted: Fri Jun 07, 2013 6:01 am 
 

The adaption of Terry Pratchett's "Going Postal" was neat. I think I actually enjoyed it more than the book (which was kinda lackluster). Richard Coyle as Moist von Lipwig was fantastic. Most of the cast was great. Definitely better than the Colour Of Magic adaption. The only drawback is that I watched it translated for German TV :grumble: Most of Europe has OVs with subtitles, why can't we?
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iamntbatman
Chaos Breed

Joined: Sat Feb 21, 2009 5:55 am
Posts: 11421
Location: Tyrn Gorthad
PostPosted: Fri Jun 07, 2013 11:05 am 
 

Necroticism174 wrote:
Definitely. That movie left almost no impression on me, which is weird. The first 45 minutes or so were definitely the best part. Unremarkable last half.


Well, the second half did at least have even prettier environments and better music, I thought.
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failsafeman
Digital Dictator

Joined: Wed Sep 01, 2004 8:45 am
Posts: 11852
Location: In the Arena
PostPosted: Fri Jun 07, 2013 2:17 pm 
 

darkeningday wrote:
I'll watch Gor if you watch Peter Strauss and Molly Ringwald and MICHAEL FUCKING IRONSIDE innnnnnnnnnnn: "Spacehunter: Adventures in the Forbidden Zone"

Which is unfortunately not on Netflix... but I strongly doubt it's particularly difficult to find. It's so terribly wonderful, with more awkward pederastic moments than a Roman Polanski film.

Wow, that just looks awesome. You're on! Michael Ironside was in some real shitheap movies, like Highlander 2.
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So the winner is Destruction and Infernal Overkill is the motherfucking skullcrushing poserkilling satan-worshiping 666 FUCK YOU greatest german thrash record.

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~Guest 253590
Metal newbie

Joined: Sun Apr 24, 2011 4:34 pm
Posts: 51
PostPosted: Fri Jun 07, 2013 7:16 pm 
 

I've been on a fucking movie watching binge recently, so here I go with quick reviews:

Children of Men
A really good movie about a (kinda) post-apocalyptic world where every women in the world suddenly lose the ability to give birth, and the world goes to chaos. However, after 18 years of this, a girl finally gets pregnant, and Clive Owen's character ends up having to keep her safe enough so she can deliver the baby. Great intense moments, great acting, the cinematography is unbelievable, all around great movie. Watch it.

Adaptation
If you don't like Nicolas Cage, stay away from this one, because he not only plays the main character, but the main character's twin brother as well. The movie's a semi-autobiographical story about a screenwriter trying to adapt a plot-less novel about orchids into a screenplay. He gets so stressed out over it that he eventually types himself into the screenplay and loses his mind. But he finds out that there is more to the book, and its author (played by Meryl Streep) than he realizes. Recommended.

Faces
This movie is an oddity of sorts, directed by independent film-maker John Cassavetes, Faces is about a marriage that's falling apart. John Marley's character starts hanging out with a hooker to get away from his wife, while she goes to a party and brings home a couple of drunk friends. In the end, both realize that even though they have all the materials they could ever need or want, they still feel incomplete and hollow. Definitely a moving film, it's certainly not the most accessible, but it's worth a viewing or two, even if you don't end up liking it, that's not the point. It's not an escapist or "entertaining" film, it's a realistic portrayal of human nature. Highly, highly recommended.

Aguirre, the Wrath of God
Francis Ford Coppola claimed to have taken a lot of visual cues from this movie for Apocalypse Now, I think that should be a good enough reason to watch it, personally. Klaus Kinski plays Lopo de Aguirre, a conquistador who's on a quest to discover El Dorado. The movie gradually shows the process of Aguirre losing his sanity, and it's an otherworldly experience. Check it out.

Badlands
I know some people who loathe Terrence Malick, but this movie was pretty good. Only flaw is that I found Sissy Spacek's narrations to be a little annoying, and the chemistry between her and Martin Sheen's character was a little bit hard for me to believe, but it's still an interesting tale of two young dumb kids "falling in love" and killing people. It may sound like "Bonnie and Clyde" but it's not quite that. Badlands is more or less about kids who just wants to rebel for no other reason than to rebel. They don't want fame, glory, or money, they just want to get high on life. I especially like the ending where Sheen's character is giving away his belongings to the police men, because I feel like he's acknowledging that he did bad things and now he has to pay the price.

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Empyreal
The Final Frontier

Joined: Thu Nov 30, 2006 6:58 pm
Posts: 35183
Location: Where the dead rule the night
PostPosted: Fri Jun 07, 2013 7:37 pm 
 

ChineseDownhill wrote:
Is it really worth bumping this thread after a week to tell you all I saw Warm Bodies?

Oh well, I just did.

"It's like Twilight, but she falls in love with a zombie instead of a vampire!" Blah. I've actually seen two or three of the Twilight movies (I'm a guy BTW) and Warm Bodies was worse. I'm surprised it currently has a solid 7.0 user rating at imdb.com; maybe the movie made people feel good about themselves if they understood why the young lovers were named R and Julie? Well I tried to pay attention during high school English too, but I have a tough time believing a relationship in which one party is lucky if he can put together a 3-word sentence.

I'd also complain that John Malkovich was underused, but considering the movie was barely an hour and a half and his role was 'Kristen Stewart look-alike's father' I didn't expect to see much of him.


Thiestru wrote:
Silver Linings Playbook - Ugh, this movie did my head in. Basically everything I dislike about modern movies in a two-hour package. I felt completely disconnected from this movie from the moment it started, and by the time I was 40 minutes in, I couldn't believe that it wasn't even halfway over. By around the hour-and-a-half mark I really wanted to turn it off, but I pressed on till the end. I couldn't stand how fucking contrived the whole thing was. Everybody seemed to go out of their way to be as annoying as possible, the plot was inane, and I just hated it. Jennifer Lawrence is certainly attractive, but why everyone thinks she's such a good actress is beyond me. (She was terrible in The Hunger Games too, but of course everyone in that movie was terrible.) But I don't know, maybe I'm just crazy. Everyone else on the planet seemed to think this movie was the greatest thing, so if you're curious, then watch it, I guess. But don't be too surprised to find that it's not all it was cracked up to be.


You guys are nuts. Warm Bodies was a ton of fun and very tongue in cheek - I really don't think you "got it" if you tried to look at it as a serious romance. And Silver Linings Playbook was a delight. I guess I could see how you don't like it though. Oh well.

Slingblade - 4.5/5

Very well made sort of biopic featuring Billy Bob Thornton as Karl, a mentally slow man who has been in a hospital for most of his life after killing his mother. Upon getting out, he makes friends with a little kid and his mother, and becomes entangled in a family drama involving an abusive boyfriend. I really like the stripped down feel of this, as it is always engaging despite having little going on that isn't totally ordinary. Thornton does a great job as Karl and the kid in it is really, really good too. Hell, all the actors do outstanding jobs. The film doesn't have any flashy hooks and instead relies on a slow, involving pace and the strength of its characters and story. It's a very stripped down film and I enjoyed it a lot for all that. Powerful.

The Paperboy - 4.5/5

I didn't know whether to rate this a 4 or a 4.5, but in the end I found myself quite entranced by this film's characterization and story. Pretty much this is an 'only in Florida' tale, and I think a big part of my liking it so much is because I lived there and I know how insane the state and its people can be. This film's dark comedy - pitch black as night, really - and engrossing pace are wrapped around unforgettable characters, who are given to us in a very literary, Flannery O'Connor sort of way, with a lot of subtext and wry wit. It's a pretty fast paced flick and I had fun with it. This is just a killer, nasty roller coaster ride through the Florida swamps. Endearing...in a perverse way.

Star Trek Into Darkness - 3/5

I'm not a Trekkie and I don't really know or care much about the long-winded history of this franchise. While I liked the first installment of this series for its goofy fun, this one I just found a bit tolling to watch. It's smartly made, written and acted, but too often falls into film cliche, with a very rote pace of an action scene and then a talking scene and then an action scene, etc. Some really bland, over-used storytelling cliches make their way into the ending and render the film extra forgettable - how about actually taking a risk once in a while, hmm? It was just too long and while it had some good bits here and there, I just couldn't get into it. Maybe if you really love this series you'd like it better.
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Necroticism174
Kite String Popper

Joined: Mon Mar 30, 2009 6:46 pm
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Location: Canada
PostPosted: Fri Jun 07, 2013 10:19 pm 
 

Slingblade is so good. My favourite Billy Bob Thornton, only The Man Who Wasn't There comes close. Dude is underrated.
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So good. Makes me want to break up with my girlfriend, quit my job and never move out of my parents house. Just totally destroy my life for Satan.

http://halberddoom.bandcamp.com/releases

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aaronmb666
Veteran

Joined: Mon Jan 03, 2005 3:37 am
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PostPosted: Sat Jun 08, 2013 3:16 am 
 

Purge- Would of had a lot of potential if it didnt go completely downhill 10 minutes into it. Big horror fans will see everything coming a mile away.

Spoilers-
Spoiler: show
It goes downhill when Ethan Hawks son(is say like a 12 year old) sees a homeless guy running down the street at the front of the house that was beaten...he lets him in the house. Thats one of the stupid things they do in it.

The end twist to it, if you call it that, is the neighbors come in and kill the people with the masks....but, they try to kill the family. The homeless guy and the mom and kids could have killed them, but they end up sitting at the table with the neighbors to wait the purge time out.

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ChineseDownhill
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Apr 30, 2013 11:19 am
Posts: 1113
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sat Jun 08, 2013 3:27 pm 
 

This will be the last time I mention Warm Bodies, because I honestly don't have the energy for a back-and-forth debate about it. But somewhat coincidentally, the next movie I watched was Tucker and Dale Vs. Evil, which in my opinion did a much better job of taking a horror movie premise (in this case, "college kids vs. murderous hillbillies") and playing it for laughs.

And to the poster who didn't like Silver Linings Playbook - I probably enjoyed it a little more than you did, but I agree it's overrated, and I also was not exactly blown away by Jennifer Lawrence's performance, especially knowing she won Best Actress.
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lilliecortez
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Wed May 29, 2013 5:17 am
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PostPosted: Sat Jun 08, 2013 4:46 pm 
 

Into the wild
5/5


onlinepokies

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volutetheswarth
Our Lady of Perpetual Butthurt

Joined: Mon Mar 21, 2011 8:37 pm
Posts: 3489
Location: Australia
PostPosted: Sat Jun 08, 2013 9:51 pm 
 

aaronmb666 wrote:
Purge- Would of had a lot of potential if it didnt go completely downhill 10 minutes into it. Big horror fans will see everything coming a mile away.

What I gathered from the trailer is it's basically your standard home invasion thriller with a gimmick. It never explores the world past one singular home, which is so cliche and such a cop-out. Also I think this was originally a sequel to the The Strangers but because they couldn't get the rights they merged another idea to save their asses from getting sued. I'll wait a couple of years until I find it for free or in a dollar bin, because that's what forgettable trash deserves.

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MARSDUDE
Shitposter

Joined: Fri Apr 29, 2005 8:17 pm
Posts: 2297
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Sat Jun 08, 2013 10:34 pm 
 

Yeah, The Purge was crap. I was hoping for something outside the mansion. Wish they would've just ripped off Taxi Driver.

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Empyreal
The Final Frontier

Joined: Thu Nov 30, 2006 6:58 pm
Posts: 35183
Location: Where the dead rule the night
PostPosted: Sat Jun 08, 2013 11:32 pm 
 

Irreversible - 3.75/5

This is a masterfully directed and very well acted film, and as a purely expressive piece about violence in normal life, it's pretty damn good. It's very disturbing at times, but never gets too gratuitous and doesn't solely rely on gore to move its plot forward. The violence is depicted very starkly and naturally, and serves the story, rather than the other way around. The reason I don't rate it higher is because, honestly, I'm just not sure there's THAT much here from a storytelling point of view, in the way of substance and things to say. Yeah, it's showing us a soul-crushing display of violence, and the gimmicky - it is gimmicky - way it's shown to us makes it a bit more interesting, but really, beyond the fantastic cinematography and the ominous score, I was left feeling like there was a lot of untapped potential here. I'm all for subtle portrayals of characters and events as a way to serve a larger commentary on society, but with this, I just felt more time was spent on drawn-out scenes that wore out their welcome and relied on the 'backwards' gimmick to stay interesting. It didn't totally fail, but I felt like there was way more that could have been done with the story, and that there was so much left unsaid that I was mentally supplying on my own simply to satisfy my literary mind and the need for meaning and purpose. Irreversible did leave an impact on me though solely through its cold, clinical violence, and for that I can say I didn't dislike it.

Now You See Me - 2/5

Most of this is a very entertaining, stylized action/mystery romp. I love magicians and I love the settings this movie has, and the fast paced story was a lot of fun. The all-star cast really had a lot of energy too. Most of this won't bother you, and if you're like me you'll think a lot of it is really great at times. But a movie's build up is only as good as its payoff, and this had one of the worst, most nonsensical ending twists I've seen in a long fucking time. Unfortunate.
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aaronmb666
Veteran

Joined: Mon Jan 03, 2005 3:37 am
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PostPosted: Sun Jun 09, 2013 2:28 am 
 

volutetheswarth wrote:
aaronmb666 wrote:
Purge- Would of had a lot of potential if it didnt go completely downhill 10 minutes into it. Big horror fans will see everything coming a mile away.

What I gathered from the trailer is it's basically your standard home invasion thriller with a gimmick. It never explores the world past one singular home, which is so cliche and such a cop-out. Also I think this was originally a sequel to the The Strangers but because they couldn't get the rights they merged another idea to save their asses from getting sued. I'll wait a couple of years until I find it for free or in a dollar bin, because that's what forgettable trash deserves.


I think it'll easily be a new franchise, since this made a lot of money, but itll drop heavily next weekend.
I also read that they making a sequel to Hansel and Gretel...but theyre going to force a pg-13 rating. The R rating is what really made it.

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Subrick
Metal Strongman

Joined: Sun Sep 12, 2010 7:27 pm
Posts: 10167
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sun Jun 09, 2013 4:47 am 
 

ChineseDownhill wrote:
This will be the last time I mention Warm Bodies, because I honestly don't have the energy for a back-and-forth debate about it. But somewhat coincidentally, the next movie I watched was Tucker and Dale Vs. Evil, which in my opinion did a much better job of taking a horror movie premise (in this case, "college kids vs. murderous hillbillies") and playing it for laughs.


I LOVE that movie. I keep going back to that one from time to time and it's never gotten old for me.

--

I just finished V/H/S 2 about 10 minutes ago. Holy CRAP, that was better than the first one. The first one had a few interesting segments in it, but for the most part it was just a giant bowl of "meh". This one is genuinely entertaining, gripping, and, while not really scary all that much, has a tense atmosphere in most of its segments. Only one of them was something of a flop (and even then it wasn't nearly as awful as the Ti West segment from the first movie), that one being Slumber Party Alien Abduction (AWESOME name, by the way). The other three shorts and the wraparound segment were all very good in their own ways. Of those four, my two favorites are "A Ride in the Park" due to it both being just a B-movie in short form and having the absolutely hilarious ending of
Spoiler: show
zombies invading a child's birthday party and eating everyone
, and "Safe Haven" because it's got the best characters, the best acting, the best direction, and the best concept of the four shorts. The directors I think all decided on keeping the camera out of the actors' hands as often as possible, because most of the video in this movie is shot from handless sources like a GoPro tied to a dog's collar, spy-cams attached to a person's shirt, helmet-cams, and, most inventively and building off of the glasses camera from the first film's "Amateur Night", a surgically implanted camera inside of a man's brain that shoots video out of a false eye.

Overall the movie was just a whole hell of a lot better than the first one. It's on On Demand, so I highly recommend watching it. If you liked the first one, you will love this one. If you didn't like the first one, still watch it, as it's quite simply a better movie.
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I'm just perpetually annoyed by Sean William Scott and he's never been in a movie where I wasn't rooting for his head to sever by strange means.

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Necroticism174
Kite String Popper

Joined: Mon Mar 30, 2009 6:46 pm
Posts: 5352
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Sun Jun 09, 2013 11:22 am 
 

Totally forgot that came out. Super down.
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theposaga about a Moonblood rehearsal wrote:
So good. Makes me want to break up with my girlfriend, quit my job and never move out of my parents house. Just totally destroy my life for Satan.

http://halberddoom.bandcamp.com/releases

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failsafeman
Digital Dictator

Joined: Wed Sep 01, 2004 8:45 am
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Location: In the Arena
PostPosted: Mon Jun 10, 2013 5:22 am 
 

Interesting. I thought V/H/S was mostly a failure, albeit with some potential. I wouldn't mind seeing the sequel if they were able to learn from their mistakes.
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So the winner is Destruction and Infernal Overkill is the motherfucking skullcrushing poserkilling satan-worshiping 666 FUCK YOU greatest german thrash record.

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slayrrr666
Metal newbie

Joined: Fri Dec 02, 2011 4:47 pm
Posts: 194
Location: United States
PostPosted: Mon Jun 10, 2013 11:54 am 
 

Based on encouragement from a friend on another forum, gave Spaceballs and Robin Hood: Men in Tights re-watches to see which was the better second-tier Mel Brooks effort. Spaceballs aged a lot better than I remember, mostly because several of the gags are still extremely funny despite being played out far too often, and probably would've benefitted a little more had it been released closer in time to the original trilogy as some of the material falls flat due to the lay-off between this one and when they were released. That said, Robin Hood has very few really laugh-out-loud moments but contains a lot more of a steady stream of jokes that don't feel as blatantly one-dimension as Spaceballs did and has a more traditional element to them that's really funny. Because they're not as reliant on making jokes that poke fun at one individual target and more on getting laughs in general from the familiar material, this is highly enjoyable and definitely worthwhile.

It's close, but I got to say Robin Hood by a quiver wins it.
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Empyreal
The Final Frontier

Joined: Thu Nov 30, 2006 6:58 pm
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Location: Where the dead rule the night
PostPosted: Tue Jun 11, 2013 1:08 am 
 

V/H/S 2 is definitely not as good as the first one. Pretty decent though...funny and had a lot of energy to it. That one about the zombies was easily the only one that really came close to being as clever or good as the first movie, really. They did a good job making something completely hilarious get pretty dramatic at the end - nice. The others were enjoyable, but seemed to go more for the big laugh than the big scare. That shit with the robotic eye was just ludicrous and the wrap-around segment made me feel like I was high. The "Safe Haven" thing had some cool parts but mostly just felt overly long and I wish they had cut it down to half the size and put in another story instead. That one also had some really trite "drama" between the characters that just felt half assed. The last story with the aliens was kind of weird and I couldn't tell what was going on half the time, but it felt like a genuinely good horror story, if a bit stunted and hyperactive.

I did enjoy it...was a pretty fun flick. But I thought the first one went for the throat a lot more and got way more creative, not to mention was a fuckload scarier. Maybe a 3.5 or a 4 star flick.
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failsafeman
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PostPosted: Tue Jun 11, 2013 1:19 am 
 

I dunno, I thought V/H/S wasn't really scary at all. Most of its segments were lame, and the only two I'd call at all good were the one with the guy and his girlfriend talking via webcam, which was actually quite inventively told and had a hugely creepy twist, but was somewhat hampered by the lame, unexplained ghost children and an overshort running time. I would really enjoy seeing that expanded to maybe 45 minutes with a real budget, it easily had the most potential out of all of them. Then there was the one with the guys trying to find the Halloween party, which I thought had a great setup but ended up falling a bit flat with the "creepy girl" bullshit at the end. The others were uniformly awful. I'd give it like a 2/5.
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Empyreal
The Final Frontier

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Location: Where the dead rule the night
PostPosted: Tue Jun 11, 2013 1:26 am 
 

I just thought it was a ton of fun. It had its problems in almost all the segments but I enjoyed the raw energy of it all and just how old school all the stories felt. It was like I was just starting to watch the genre again. Just a joyously evil, hellish experience. This second one I doubt you'll like much if you didn't like the first one though. It's pretty much the same shit except they go more over the top and get more self-aware about how silly the genre can be. It isn't too bad, but it's much less raw and feels a lot more goofy and "in on the joke." I mean they play a skate punk song over the end credits.
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Subrick
Metal Strongman

Joined: Sun Sep 12, 2010 7:27 pm
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PostPosted: Tue Jun 11, 2013 1:54 am 
 

The even numbered segments in the first one were not all that great, particularly the Ti West one about the couple on vacation being stalked or something. That was just a massive bore of a segment that did absolutely nothing interesting. Amateur Night and the one about the killer that exists within DV camera tracking errors were the best ones.

As for the sequel being somewhat more tongue in cheek, the only one that gave me that vibe was A Ride in the Park. I applaud the inventiveness of the first segment for being shot entirely through a person's fake eye, as well as the last one, in spite of the overall segment not being something I found entertaining, for having an absolutely excellent final shot. The closest one to straight found footage horror in the movie is Safe Haven, what with all the creepy corner turns and a couple jump scares thrown in for good measure, although I will admit that the immediately forgotten subplot of "We two fucked and YOU'RE the daddy" was fantasmically fucking pointless.
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Aurone
Metalhead

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PostPosted: Tue Jun 11, 2013 5:42 pm 
 

Trailer for The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IcCK55ZnoKM

I was already sold on the movie half way, but even if I wasn't, Smaug at the end had my ticket sold.

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darkeningday
xXdArKenIngDayXx

Joined: Mon Aug 23, 2004 1:20 pm
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Location: United States
PostPosted: Tue Jun 11, 2013 8:33 pm 
 

Empyreal wrote:
Star Trek Into Darkness - 3/5

I'm not a Trekkie and I don't really know or care much about the long-winded history of this franchise. While I liked the first installment of this series for its goofy fun, this one I just found a bit tolling to watch. It's smartly made, written and acted, but too often falls into film cliche, with a very rote pace of an action scene and then a talking scene and then an action scene, etc. Some really bland, over-used storytelling cliches make their way into the ending and render the film extra forgettable - how about actually taking a risk once in a while, hmm? It was just too long and while it had some good bits here and there, I just couldn't get into it. Maybe if you really love this series you'd like it better.

Generally speaking, the more you like Star Trek, the less you like JJTrek. I haven't seen Into Darkness yet, but as a Trek fan the first was, like, a 0.5/5 and even through a pop film critic lens it wasn't much better. Terrible dialog ("BUCKLE UP!"; "Sulu, did you forget to disengage the parking break before departing space dock?"), even dumber-than-usual action scenes for this brand of dumb action movie (Scotty floating through a Willy Wonka pipe?), and just general "bad movie" cliches (a fucking BAR FIGHT, without even a hint of irony or self-awareness? what is this, 1950?) made it a chore to sit through for even the first viewing. Only Pine's and Quinto's honest reverence to their precursors kept it from the junkheap, if only just.
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Empyreal
The Final Frontier

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PostPosted: Tue Jun 11, 2013 8:47 pm 
 

Chris Pine and Zachary Quinto are literally 90% of the reason I didn't just outright dislike the new one. I don't really remember the first one too well honestly since I only saw it once when it came out. But yeah, those two guys are pretty damn good.
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darkeningday
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PostPosted: Tue Jun 11, 2013 9:16 pm 
 

Cumberbatch only gets 10%? :P

He's probably the main reason I'll at least rent it, though Quinto and Pine aren't far behind; their chemistry was a joy in XI, and honestly a lot tighter and more interesting than The Shat and Nimoy ever were.


On the other side of things, Damon Lindelof's attachment to the screenplay is why I'm probably not going to watch it first run.
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Necroticism174
Kite String Popper

Joined: Mon Mar 30, 2009 6:46 pm
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PostPosted: Wed Jun 12, 2013 12:06 am 
 

The Loved Ones: I was bored at 2 am, browsing through Netflix's shite selection, and apparently critics liked this. I only clicked play because the chick on the cover kind of looked like the chick in Hatchet 2 (Danielle Harris I think? Anyways, I was way off mark).
So this is basically Australian torture porn. The story is atrociously bad, there's a subplot that takes a good half hour of the film that sort if goes nowhere, then is forgotten without being resolved. The torture chick was waayyyy over the top. It's silly, really. Maybe they were parodying something and I'm just not Australian enough to get it?
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volutetheswarth
Our Lady of Perpetual Butthurt

Joined: Mon Mar 21, 2011 8:37 pm
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Location: Australia
PostPosted: Wed Jun 12, 2013 2:13 am 
 

Necroticism174 wrote:
The Loved Ones: I was bored at 2 am, browsing through Netflix's shite selection, and apparently critics liked this. I only clicked play because the chick on the cover kind of looked like the chick in Hatchet 2 (Danielle Harris I think? Anyways, I was way off mark).
So this is basically Australian torture porn. The story is atrociously bad, there's a subplot that takes a good half hour of the film that sort if goes nowhere, then is forgotten without being resolved. The torture chick was waayyyy over the top. It's silly, really. Maybe they were parodying something and I'm just not Australian enough to get it?

Nah that movie sucks, being Australian has nothing to do with it. I thought the introduction was alright but then it becomes an obvious torture 'horror' and tries to be unpredictable to get a reaction. A case of 'how long can we shit on the audience' mentality, best described as self absorbed, badly edited, shock driven bollocks. Brent's scream really irritated me after awhile, I know how and why he sounded like that, but it drove me up the wall. Yeah, Lola was trying to do her best Jack Nicholson impersonation and the father couldn't act. Mia and Jamie's side-story was completely unnecessary and served no importance apart from a brief minute of comic relief, and to cap it off the random bits of black comedy failed miserably. The movie overall comes across as a poorly executed attempt to imitate 80's slashers with a modern shine and angst suitable for tween hards.

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Necroticism174
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PostPosted: Wed Jun 12, 2013 12:16 pm 
 

Oh man, his scream. That shit was annoying. I love how the only development his character got was "accidently killed his father at some point. Feels guilty, hurts self" He barely spoke during the entire thing. Ugh. What a shitty movie.
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So good. Makes me want to break up with my girlfriend, quit my job and never move out of my parents house. Just totally destroy my life for Satan.

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MacMoney
Man of the Cloth

Joined: Sun Nov 03, 2002 10:17 pm
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PostPosted: Wed Jun 12, 2013 12:52 pm 
 

darkeningday wrote:
*Star Trek reboot*


It was shit. Only good thing about it was Nimoy. He's always charismatic. Hated the two mains, hated the plot, hated the fact that it's a retcon. I'm not the biggest fan of Trek out there. It's a good universe, I think, but the writing tends to be... iffy. Off too often and too focused on themes and things that mirror today instead of themes and matters that would seem more real for the Star Trek universe, but retcons in general are just shit. A cheap way to move things forward. I think a proper reboot is a much more... 'honorable' way to do it. Or at least I like those better. Go at it with your own ammo.

As for films... Uhh.. Compulsion: About the Leopold-Loeb case. Strong performances by both characters and a pretty tight atmosphere of will they-or-won't they? All stolen by Orson Welles's passionate speech near the finish.

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failsafeman
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PostPosted: Wed Jun 12, 2013 3:39 pm 
 

It's not a retcon, it's an alternate universe.
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darkeningday
xXdArKenIngDayXx

Joined: Mon Aug 23, 2004 1:20 pm
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PostPosted: Wed Jun 12, 2013 4:22 pm 
 

What do you think of JJTrek, FSM, since I know you're pretty well versed in Trek?
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failsafeman
Digital Dictator

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PostPosted: Wed Jun 12, 2013 4:35 pm 
 

I haven't seen the new one, but the first one was meh. Entertaining while it was on-screen if you shut your brain off, but ultimately forgettable. I liked a lot of stuff about the movie, like the sets, and the action was fairly decent, but the plot was just kind of nonsensical and the villain was lame. There were some funny bits but the comedy in general was too lowbrow for Trek, like that sequence where Kirk is running around with the swollen hands. Anyway the first film was a moderate success at being mindless but entertaining sci-fi action (though not nearly as good as, say, Dredd), which puts it leagues and leagues above the last few Star Trek movies. I think the people dumping super hard on JJTrek and saying it ruined Star Trek and whatever need to go back and watch Insurrection and Nemesis, because they've clearly forgotten how absolutely godawful those movies were.
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OzzyApu
Metal freak

Joined: Fri Oct 13, 2006 12:11 am
Posts: 10821
Location: Seattle
PostPosted: Wed Jun 12, 2013 7:38 pm 
 

I saw Trek 2 a couple weeks ago and for an action film I thought it was good. Then again, my Trek fandom is non-existent, so I don't mind whether or not it's faithful to the original series. The movie felt like action sequence after action sequence and it follows the formula of "villain intended everything to occur at the exact times he wanted because he planned out everything ahead of time down to the smallest improbable detail".
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MacMoney
Man of the Cloth

Joined: Sun Nov 03, 2002 10:17 pm
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Location: Finland
PostPosted: Thu Jun 13, 2013 2:36 am 
 

failsafeman wrote:
It's not a retcon, it's an alternate universe.


It's only an alternate universe if it doesn't take precedence over the main one.

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