Please, do tell!

So, I met an amazing chick online about a month ago and she already wants me to move in with her. She's legitimately into metal and actually worked as a make-up artist for a local metal tv show. We get along perfectly and everything. There's a bit of an age difference considering I'm 25 and she's 33, but I don't think that'll be an issue.

What about the fact that she doesn't exist?

A month doesn't seem like long enough to discuss the wisdom of moving in together, to me. But if you feel you have nothing to lose and want to follow your instincts, you could go for it. Could get ugly though if you discover living together isn't really as nice as you first imagined. I've also gotten a lot warier in my old age/experience and have seen too many horrific situations develop, so take that with a grain of salt as they say.

I really don't love the album Wolverine Blues from Entombed very much (I mean, it's not that bad but much of it does kind of chug along in dull and un-death metal fashion), but I sure do love the song "Out of Hand"! What a pumping, monstrously aggressive and angry tune where everything just comes together.

Oh yeah, haven't posted here in a while, so happy new year and all that. Got to set my goals pretty low at the moment; the first achievement I need to make in 2017 is to drink less and thus, hopefully, get my sleep patterns back to something manageable so I can withstand workdays.

She does. We met on Facebook. We've been Skyping, talking on the phone, etc. And it was her idea that I move in with her, fwiw. It sounds odd, but we're gonna try to make it work.

Have you know, actually met her in person yet? I'd avoid making such a hasty decision until you do.

The last girl I was seeing made a point of telling me she didn't want to move fast and really wanted to take things easy. A few weeks after she said this she asked if she could move in with me...with her cat. Then it was with her cat, and her three year old daughter, who by the way isn't potty trained and gets into everything. "just for a while, until I can get back on my feet. Oh and by the way I don't have any money."

I know it sounds comical and weird, but we've been talking pretty much non-stop for the past month. It's definitely going fast but we think so much alike it's insane. It's worth a shot, imo. We'll at least help each other grow and have fun even if it doesn't work out in the end.

If you're keen and you want to move in with her, go for it. No harm in giving it a shot, right? Just heed the usual warnings and keep us updated.

I know you didn't ask, but the best advice I think I can give is, before you talk about moving in, go on a nice trip together. See how it is just sharing space with each other for a week or so. if you don't feel a sense of relief after that at getting your own space back, might be worth a shot.

I agree. Live in the same building or the same street or something but don't share ANY rooms. Escaping will be easier if this turns out to be horrible. And it can. Even if it doesn't feel like it now.

Thanks for the advice, guys. I always appreciate it. I'll definitely keep everyone updated, haha.

I'm not going to make any commitments to her, really. She's about to move back to California so her parents can help watch her kids while she goes back to work. Right now, she just wants me to live with her rent-free and keep her company since she's been through a lot of horrible shit, lately. I'm unemployed right now, anyway, so I literally have nothing to lose. Also, she made it very clear that she likes to have sex multiple times a day, so that's a plus.

That's the real cause for concern.

Didn't realise she had kids. Hmm. Well it's still up to you but if she's looking for a baby daddy then you should probably run, especially since you're unemployed. If you feel you've got nothing to lose and you want to give it a chance, then hey, I'm not one to judge. Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

Oh that sounds really really dangerous. I've been in a similar scenario and it's always good if you want to help someone but depending on the type of "horrible shit" we're talking about here, too much exposure to it can end up being a SOUL SUCKING MESS for you. And with "too much exposure" I mean living with someone. It's all fine and dandy until you find out people spend hours of their day crying in the bathroom. This is a situation you definitely want to avoid.

Seems to me there's a very real chance she's legit batshit crazy. The more so say about this the bigger and louder the warning signs get. Run away, just go, never speak to her again. And for the love of your own self preservation man, DON'T FUCKING DO IT. YOU MIGHT END UP AS A MEAT SUIT. DO YOU WANT HER WEARING YOUR FACE???

Yeah, that's very true. Basically, she lost a baby earlier this year and her soon-to-be ex-husband is a borderline psychopath who literally never talked to her for the four years they've been together because he never wanted to get married. On top of that, she's been forced to stay at home the entire time because she didn't trust the in-laws to watch the kids and they couldn't afford daycare. It's really sad, actually, and I figured I'd at least give it a try until she goes back to where all her friends and family are.

SOON TO BE EX HUSBAND??? DEAD BABY???? I THINK I KNOW WHO YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT!! Is it one of the girls on this picture:



STAY AWAY

Edit:
By now I think you must be trolling or something but I know the own stupid shit I did in my life similar to this. So I give you the benefit of the doubt and sincerely hope you think long and hard about why all that sounds like a really bad idea to the point others think you might have made it up.

it just gets worse.
Well, good luck.

There really are a lot of abusive, manipulative men out there, and so it's good to give her the benefit of the doubt in some ways, but just remember there's more than one side to that story she's giving you.

It's not necessarily the abusive/manipulative part, this sounds like bad news without her having to be intentionally vicious or something. The whole situation is something I wouldn't want to get involved in. Especially "soon to be ex husband" and "dead baby". Given all this, I'd say he's DOOMED when moving in with her. Moving close to her might be a different story, but all in all I'd cut connections now and look for unmarried people without children (dead or otherwise) who lurk in libraries and watch Adventure Time.

With a story that fantastical, she very well could be making it up or drastically exaggerating it to get sympathy and get you on her side. People by and large are not good at making up stories - when they try to fabricate lies it comes off as over the top and too much. I'd be very careful.

Yeah this just took took a hard turn from believable to not. But what's likely happening is you're being gullible and she's feeding you a crock of shit. I highly doubt that all of this is the actual truth, as often is the case.

Either way dude. Stay the fuck away. One of two things is actually happening: 1)she's telling the truth, this is horrifyingly bad situation for you to get involved with. 2) she's lying out her ass for attention. This is also a very bad situation for you to get involved in.

STAY AWAY.

Meh. I know it sounds like a bad idea, I thought so at first, too. I told her several times the first week we were talking that I wasn't looking for a relationship but that I'd look after her and whatnot and that my reasons had nothing to do with her(I was trying to get a friends-with-benefits deal going). I'm kinda afraid to bail on her right now, considering how extremely lonely she is. I dunno. Maybe I've been in denial because I want it to work.

Edit: I should have emphasized that she's extremely into me. She's not using me or anything. She showed me pictures of her and her ex, and I can say I'm definitely her type. I also trust what she's telling me, as crazy as her life story sounds.

Yes you are in denial because you want it to work.
The fear of rejecting her because of HER loneliness is the worst start any kind of relationship could have, be it "friends with benefits" or a more serious commitment. This is a trap that can drive you into slavery.
I'm not saying she's consciously victimizing herself (although that is a possibility), but even the slightest notion of "If I don't do something she says she might kill herself or sumthin'" is the worst kind of idea you could have.

Kid if you ain't gonna listen to advice that's on you. Just at least do one thing right here and don't move in.

Mate, look, none of what you've told us sounds ideal. She has kids, had some abuse from her "soon-to-be-ex," wants you to move in...it all sounds super shady and I'm sure you're aware that you should remain vigilant if you go through with these plans. However, it's your choice at the end of the day, and we're all just some dudes on a metal forum trying to piece together a story that you know the most about. If you want to do it, go for it. If after a while you feel like it's not working, you literally have no ties to her apart from the fact that you like her, and you can just leave.

I will point out that I waited for a friend to break up with her "soon-to-be-ex" for three years and she ended up breaking my heart in the process, so I hope that doesn't happen to you.

of course. You have to put yourself first in these kinds of situations, unfortunately. Doesn't mean you're being a heartless bastard by doing so. You don't want to get tied to someone with no hope of escape when things go sour, as they may well do, and it can all happen quicker than you might think, and doesn't have to involve something as drastic as marriage. I've heard stories like hers many times and it doesn't really seem all that improbable that at least much of it is true, but she may not be telling the whole truth about how her marriage went, for instance. I'm not gonna say you shouldn't involve yourself with married women with children full stop, but definitely it's a good idea to take it very casually at first and see what the "lay of the land" is really like.

Thanks for the words, all. We'll see what happens. I'm gonna keep talking to her for now and just tell her we're gonna slow way the fuck down. She'll be moving close to her family in a few weeks and then we can figure out what we're gonna do from there.

As far as her life story goes, it sounds like bullshit but it really isn't. I've seen simliar stories before. Some people are just really prone to being abused and shit because they're unusually honest and open, and it's especially true for younger women.

The big question is has she hit you up for money?

No, honestly. She's seriously the coolest chick I've ever met. And she's about to make pretty good money once she starts working again. She already knows I'm broke as fuck and unemployed

Trust me -- I've done a lot of online dating and whatnot and I can tell when a chick is trying to use me for something. I'm quite talented at reading people and I can honestly say she's a genuinely sweet person. That's why I care about her so much, I guess. There's a very strong physical attraction and we both just kinda match up perfectly. Believe it or not, she was afraid of unloading her problems on me and I kept encouraging her to do so.

Yeah, but the ultimate big question is...is she hot?

Make sure to check your state laws on cohabitation. You don't want to get slapped with child support because you stayed in the same house for three weeks thus taking on a fatherly role.

Mikey: Yes, she's very hot, haha

John_Sunlight: Thanks. That's a very good point.

AboveTheThrone: Don't listen to these guys. They clearly don't know what kind of advice leads to good stories.

Seriously though, it just sounds like she's really lonely and is having a hard time caring for a kid by herself. There doesn't have to be some sort of horrible ulterior motive to everything everyone does. She's probably really clingy but man, ATT is a stone cold dork, this is the best he can hope for

It's not the best I can hope for. I haven't bothered dating for the past few months and she was the one who kept initiating the conversations. And if you think fucking a sex-addicted MILF is dorky, then so be it.

No, but saying something like that is pretty dorky in itself. Reminds me of Rex Kwon Do.

Sorry dude, sex is cool and all, but it isn't a magic ritual that erases all the dorky shit you say all the time.

It's not

It sure feels like it for about 15 seconds but then the complete shame for even being alive sets back in.
Don't let daddy kiss me.