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Andreas_Hansen
Metal newbie

Joined: Sun Feb 16, 2014 11:44 am
Posts: 316
Location: Anywhere in the Galaxy
PostPosted: Sat Jul 28, 2018 8:19 pm 
 

DecemberSoul wrote:
Hey, who hasn't heard a "total silent song" yet? :-D


:lol:
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BastardHead wrote:
Two things that will instantly derail any forum thread without fail: 1) Discussing how tall you are, and 2) the origin of your username.

Tunes of Steel - Reviews and writing stuff website. Latest: Paradox - Pangea
Metalhertz, French Youtube radio channel

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PaganiusI
Zee Bombelecher

Joined: Fri Jan 16, 2015 3:49 pm
Posts: 966
Location: Germany
PostPosted: Sat Jul 28, 2018 11:43 pm 
 

It's Simon & Garfunkel's greatest hit. I don't get why a cover version would get so much hate :(
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!Low-Life Arrogance!
~Feel free to visit: Blog - Heavy Metal Rarities - Last.FM - Shop~
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Derigin
The Mountain Man

Joined: Sun Jan 01, 2006 6:25 am
Posts: 5426
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Sat Aug 04, 2018 11:19 am 
 

Image

:scratch:
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¯\_(ツ)_/¯

R.I.P. Diamhea 1987-2018
Live young, die free. Gone, but not forgotten.

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PaganiusI
Zee Bombelecher

Joined: Fri Jan 16, 2015 3:49 pm
Posts: 966
Location: Germany
PostPosted: Sat Aug 04, 2018 11:40 am 
 

Judging from the length of the text and the quite ok capitalization, this is not a review but a song/album title of a post rock band.
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!Low-Life Arrogance!
~Feel free to visit: Blog - Heavy Metal Rarities - Last.FM - Shop~
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Derigin
The Mountain Man

Joined: Sun Jan 01, 2006 6:25 am
Posts: 5426
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Mon Aug 13, 2018 10:59 am 
 

The end...
Image


Me being a writter :nono:
Image


A must have for your Christian thrash metal collection :scratch:
Image
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¯\_(ツ)_/¯

R.I.P. Diamhea 1987-2018
Live young, die free. Gone, but not forgotten.

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Derigin
The Mountain Man

Joined: Sun Jan 01, 2006 6:25 am
Posts: 5426
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Sat Sep 01, 2018 4:41 pm 
 

Image
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¯\_(ツ)_/¯

R.I.P. Diamhea 1987-2018
Live young, die free. Gone, but not forgotten.

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Derigin
The Mountain Man

Joined: Sun Jan 01, 2006 6:25 am
Posts: 5426
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Mon Sep 24, 2018 11:04 am 
 

Ah 2003, where track-by-tracks were common, nobody knew how to write, and the best musical description one could come up with is "it's pussy metal."

Image
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¯\_(ツ)_/¯

R.I.P. Diamhea 1987-2018
Live young, die free. Gone, but not forgotten.

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EzraBlumenfeld
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue Oct 24, 2017 12:50 pm
Posts: 276
Location: Land of No Return
PostPosted: Mon Oct 08, 2018 4:01 pm 
 

Derigin wrote:
A must have for your Christian thrash metal collection :scratch:
Image


How have I survived for so long, without a complete Christian thrash collection?
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MisanthropicEvil wrote:
This album reeled me in with it's eye-catching album cover but vomited a whole load of musical diarrhea in my face as soon as I started listening! I would not even use this album to wipe my butt.


Last.fm
Listen to my band's new album!

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Cat III
Metal newbie

Joined: Fri Apr 21, 2017 11:44 am
Posts: 286
Location: United States
PostPosted: Mon Oct 08, 2018 8:06 pm 
 

And no mention of Hirax, the only one that's actually good.
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Latest Review: Dipygus - Long Pig Feast

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Derigin
The Mountain Man

Joined: Sun Jan 01, 2006 6:25 am
Posts: 5426
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Sat Oct 20, 2018 1:45 pm 
 

Image

yeet yeet motherfuckers
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R.I.P. Diamhea 1987-2018
Live young, die free. Gone, but not forgotten.

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EzraBlumenfeld
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue Oct 24, 2017 12:50 pm
Posts: 276
Location: Land of No Return
PostPosted: Fri Nov 16, 2018 12:01 pm 
 

Yeet \m/
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MisanthropicEvil wrote:
This album reeled me in with it's eye-catching album cover but vomited a whole load of musical diarrhea in my face as soon as I started listening! I would not even use this album to wipe my butt.


Last.fm
Listen to my band's new album!

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Derigin
The Mountain Man

Joined: Sun Jan 01, 2006 6:25 am
Posts: 5426
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Sat Nov 24, 2018 10:43 am 
 

Image
_________________
¯\_(ツ)_/¯

R.I.P. Diamhea 1987-2018
Live young, die free. Gone, but not forgotten.

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Grave_Wyrm
Metal Sloth

Joined: Sun Mar 04, 2012 5:55 pm
Posts: 3909
Location: a branch
PostPosted: Sat Nov 24, 2018 1:32 pm 
 

"It's so powerful that your stomach will damn."

.. I can't improve on that.

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OzzyApu
Metal freak

Joined: Fri Oct 13, 2006 12:11 am
Posts: 10362
Location: Seattle
PostPosted: Thu Dec 13, 2018 10:52 pm 
 

Derigin wrote:
yeet yeet motherfuckers

That kimchi talk :lol: fucking 한국인, man haha
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gomorro wrote:
Yesterday was the birthday of school pal and I met the chick of my sigh (I've talked about here before, the she-wolf I use to be inlove with)... Maaan she was using a mini-skirt too damn insane... Dude you could saw her entire soul every time she sit...

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Derigin
The Mountain Man

Joined: Sun Jan 01, 2006 6:25 am
Posts: 5426
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Wed Mar 06, 2019 10:11 pm 
 

Interesting takes from these two different fellas:

Image

Image
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R.I.P. Diamhea 1987-2018
Live young, die free. Gone, but not forgotten.

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MutantClannfear
Veteran

Joined: Thu May 27, 2010 12:12 am
Posts: 3283
Location: United States
PostPosted: Thu Mar 07, 2019 10:51 pm 
 

Image

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droneriot
incelgender

Joined: Sat Aug 28, 2004 1:17 pm
Posts: 8691
Location: Spahn Ranch
PostPosted: Thu Mar 07, 2019 11:41 pm 
 

One typo, three capitalisation errors and one punctuation error isn't that much, I bet most regular reviewers have reviews up with similar numbers of errors.
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Derigin
The Mountain Man

Joined: Sun Jan 01, 2006 6:25 am
Posts: 5426
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Sun Jun 09, 2019 11:50 am 
 

Image
_________________
¯\_(ツ)_/¯

R.I.P. Diamhea 1987-2018
Live young, die free. Gone, but not forgotten.

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ᴎostalgiʞK
Metal newbie

Joined: Sat Mar 01, 2014 1:27 pm
Posts: 171
Location: Argentina, Brazil
PostPosted: Thu Jun 13, 2019 11:50 pm 
 

Let's do a collective digging.
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My abandoned projects:
Deathrall : Black Metal
GrindOfKaczka : Grindcore/Powerviolence
OpsiusCato wrote:
It's in my Goatfangs text.file
Hilarious stupid comment that MalconInTheMETAL wrote:
Everyone calls Black Sabbath heavy metal, but by today's standards they aren't at all

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Derigin
The Mountain Man

Joined: Sun Jan 01, 2006 6:25 am
Posts: 5426
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Sun Jul 07, 2019 3:21 pm 
 

Image

What.
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R.I.P. Diamhea 1987-2018
Live young, die free. Gone, but not forgotten.

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Midnightwards666
Heavy Metal C-3PO

Joined: Tue Aug 02, 2011 7:05 am
Posts: 675
Location: United Kingdom
PostPosted: Sun Jul 07, 2019 3:36 pm 
 

They appear to be reviewing something else... but occasionally bringing up Blackthorn as some kind of example in their unusual analogies. They also seemingly forgot to describe the music.
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Formerly known as HouseSpiders
vacca wrote:
"Pointwhoring is no fun. Pointwhoring endangers the life and happiness of millions. It must stop. We appeal in particular to the youth of today, stop the madness. There are better things in life."

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Smoking_Gnu
Chicago Favorite

Joined: Sat Mar 15, 2008 11:22 pm
Posts: 4557
Location: United States
PostPosted: Tue Jul 09, 2019 12:47 pm 
 

HouseSpiders wrote:
They appear to be reviewing something else... but occasionally bringing up Blackthorn as some kind of example in their unusual analogies. They also seemingly forgot to describe the music.


It's like someone ran an ANUS/DMU review through five languages then back to english in google translate.
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demonomania wrote:
A gritty "Leprechaun In the IRA" reboot sounds pretty awesome, actually. Sample line - "Come have a taste of me lucky ARMS!"

NEW Valcove album Forge @ https://valcove.bandcamp.com/album/forge. For fans of Aphex Twin, Autechre, ambient techno

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MutantClannfear
Veteran

Joined: Thu May 27, 2010 12:12 am
Posts: 3283
Location: United States
PostPosted: Fri Jul 12, 2019 4:37 pm 
 

The content of the review isn't that remarkable, but the formatting... yes, that's the end of the review as it was submitted.

Image

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gasmask_colostomy
Metalhead

Joined: Thu May 27, 2010 5:38 am
Posts: 571
Location: Behind the wall of fire
PostPosted: Fri Jul 12, 2019 11:59 pm 
 

Quote:
James Hetfield of Jason Newstead

I never realized James joined Jason's side-project :lol:

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droneriot
incelgender

Joined: Sat Aug 28, 2004 1:17 pm
Posts: 8691
Location: Spahn Ranch
PostPosted: Sun Jul 14, 2019 12:29 am 
 

MutantClannfear wrote:
yes, that's the end of the review as it was submitted.

The Black Beast of Aaaarrggh strikes again.
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Badass overload!! The Conan soundtracks were composed by a Klingon!! - Pop culture review channel

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ᴎostalgiʞK
Metal newbie

Joined: Sat Mar 01, 2014 1:27 pm
Posts: 171
Location: Argentina, Brazil
PostPosted: Thu Aug 01, 2019 12:04 pm 
 

gasmask_colostomy wrote:
Quote:
James Hetfield of Jason Newstead

I never realized James joined Jason's side-project :lol:


Hahahauahauahau.

I believe this user tried to say "James Hetfield or Jason Newsted" xd, whatever, this review is illegible, but somewhat >(somehow)< understandable...
_________________
    -||Eternal moonlighted woods||-

My abandoned projects:
Deathrall : Black Metal
GrindOfKaczka : Grindcore/Powerviolence
OpsiusCato wrote:
It's in my Goatfangs text.file
Hilarious stupid comment that MalconInTheMETAL wrote:
Everyone calls Black Sabbath heavy metal, but by today's standards they aren't at all

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Midnightwards666
Heavy Metal C-3PO

Joined: Tue Aug 02, 2011 7:05 am
Posts: 675
Location: United Kingdom
PostPosted: Fri Aug 16, 2019 9:49 am 
 

Well, I just rejected my first review.
Image

It seems there is no way to find rejected reviews, so I'll try to recall my rejection message.
Quote:
The submission did not properly follow the guidelines. In order for your review to be accepted, you really need to improve your description of the music. Unfortunately, your review leaves the reader with little to no insight as to what the album actually sounds like - all I see is a brief history about the band. For someone who has never heard of Rhapsody of Fire, this could even be a review for a black metal band. Please read the guidelines carefully next time - in our rules, we have a list of content you should write about in your review.''
_________________
Formerly known as HouseSpiders
vacca wrote:
"Pointwhoring is no fun. Pointwhoring endangers the life and happiness of millions. It must stop. We appeal in particular to the youth of today, stop the madness. There are better things in life."

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Grave_Wyrm
Metal Sloth

Joined: Sun Mar 04, 2012 5:55 pm
Posts: 3909
Location: a branch
PostPosted: Sat Aug 17, 2019 1:12 am 
 

"Take your seat foul-mouthed fan boy!"

ex-HouseSpiders, I salute you.

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Midnightwards666
Heavy Metal C-3PO

Joined: Tue Aug 02, 2011 7:05 am
Posts: 675
Location: United Kingdom
PostPosted: Mon Aug 19, 2019 8:11 pm 
 

Thank you, Grave_Wyrm.

These ''awful submissions'' are actually more common than I had imagined. I thought they were just the odd once a week exception.
Image
_________________
Formerly known as HouseSpiders
vacca wrote:
"Pointwhoring is no fun. Pointwhoring endangers the life and happiness of millions. It must stop. We appeal in particular to the youth of today, stop the madness. There are better things in life."

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