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LordStenhammar
Veteran

Joined: Sun Oct 21, 2012 10:46 am
Posts: 3062
Location: Not in Sweden
PostPosted: Tue May 02, 2017 3:47 am 
 

Some semi-old shit. Goes well with the season.

THE GODDESS OF SPRING
Imagine her dead
Lying on your bed
What would you do?
A dead tree can stand
Not a loveless man
Her body entices you

You see dancers in the streets
Wondering what lies beneath
Rustic outfits and crooked smiles
Behind them the goddess hides

She's born again
After Beltane ends
Impersonated by whom?
This pagan whore
Knocks at your door
You know her too

The green leaves are her gold
In every spring her story is told
Virgin skin conceals an old hag
Sunflowers in her wooden bag

She plants fruit trees
And takes care of bees
Full of innocent love
Knocks down the stones
Prepares the bones
For the realm above

Tied together with colourful strings
The bodies of beggars and kings
Hidden costumes and pointed hats
The bonedancers followed by rats

People kneeling down
Before the street clown
With oblivious minds
It's just an annual fair
Still they're unaware
Of hearses passing by

The dead here are no longer dead
Old deities live inside their heads
Some think it's just a masquerade
You know the secret death parade

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LordStenhammar
Veteran

Joined: Sun Oct 21, 2012 10:46 am
Posts: 3062
Location: Not in Sweden
PostPosted: Sun Oct 15, 2017 2:41 am 
 

This topic has died? Some more shit then...

HIDING IN THE SMOKESTACK
He has friends only he can see
They dwell between the walls
With ruined, almost quiet voices
In his head their prisoners call
No man of your time can say
What the wallpapers really hide
Fleeting words can't be heard
Wind sweeps the ancient pipes

As a breathing figure it stands
The ruin of his deranged house
Telling its neverending story
With the voice of a dead spouse
The spirits of a cool fireplace
Sing to him on a cheerful note
The jeering words of madness
Are fuming with the smoke

First to arrive was the creeper
Then came the graveyard keeper
After that The Grim Reaper
At last the chimney sweeper
Like dead souls in November
They warm up the smokestack
Inhabitants as Satan's spies
Speaking voices of old hags

The eclectic personal demons
He bestows in his private ”hotel”
People call him sick in the head
But in his mind he's all well
Haunting after all these years
Are the men with good hearts
All turned into boogeymen
With dialects like devil's farts

The voices exist inside of him
Deep as an abyss, heavy as hell
The works exceeding life itself
Stuffed into one demented shell
His art tries to imitate them
They speak through his scars
He's been dead a hundred times
But lives still in his memoirs

The house is a living furnace
As you enter, don't look back
In this senseless undead forge
All bricks have tarnished black
The half-visible men appear
Feed the stove with tired minds
The walls here are nonexistent
Spirits freed as the house dies

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DividerOfShadows
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Sep 13, 2016 1:58 pm
Posts: 404
Location: Croatia
PostPosted: Sun Oct 22, 2017 4:50 pm 
 

It's strange how many people post their own lyrics here and nobody, well, feedbacks them.

Anyway, here's something of my own to keep the topic alive.

SOUL WATERS

Sham exterior
Rising high above waters of change
A planet breathing
Talking through the jumping waves
Envision the purity
Hiding within the restless ocean

The colours
Evaporate
But the bliss
Remains untouched

I might not discern
Outcomes of introspection
But the sea will still beckon me
And grant me keys to knowledge

Fueled
By stars
Frozen view
Remains still
Yet ever wondering

Perfectly lost in the winds of change
Seconds fly without saying goodbye
Reincarnated
After dark tides went awry
Born again
After weaknesses were challenged
High above once more
Now the sunlight am I

And today I will rest before soul waters
Without fear branded within my mind
Let them flow, let them overflow
I shalt breathe as never before
_________________
Earthcubed wrote:
CradleOfBurzum, about the new Summoning album snippet, wrote:
I was hoping for some material that resembles closer to "Lugburz"


And I'm still hoping for Katy Perry to do another Christian album.


My Last.fm

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Kjetter
Mutineer

Joined: Sat Oct 18, 2003 4:21 am
Posts: 157
Location: Norway
PostPosted: Sun Dec 17, 2017 12:59 pm 
 

Though I realise this thread has been pretty stale the last years I am writing this in the slim hopes that it might change - as well as in response to Divider:
If any of you want some actual feedback then you need to include some basic background information. Something like what kind of music you are writing for and what aspects of the text you want feedback on. The more information, the easier it is to offer something constructive.

Do your lyrics follow a specific metre? Are they free form? How important is rhyme and flow to the set? How proficient are you in English? What emotions or imagery are you trying to invoke? What message do you want to convey? Style or substance? Are you writing to music? Do you have a vocal style in mind?

There is no need to answer all of the above, but unless the reader has at least something to go on you are unlikely to get too much more than a "Not bad".

DividerOfShadows wrote:
SOUL WATERS

Sham exterior
Rising high above waters of change
A planet breathing
Talking through the jumping waves
Envision the purity
Hiding within the restless ocean

The colours
Evaporate
But the bliss
Remains untouched

I might not discern
Outcomes of introspection
But the sea will still beckon me
And grant me keys to knowledge

Fueled
By stars
Frozen view
Remains still
Yet ever wondering

Perfectly lost in the winds of change
Seconds fly without saying goodbye
Reincarnated
After dark tides went awry
Born again
After weaknesses were challenged
High above once more
Now the sunlight am I

And today I will rest before soul waters
Without fear branded within my mind
Let them flow, let them overflow
I shalt breathe as never before

Not bad.

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The Ardbeg Wizard
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Oct 01, 2013 6:57 am
Posts: 1114
Location: Netherlands
PostPosted: Tue Jan 16, 2018 5:07 am 
 

DividerOfShadows wrote:
It's strange how many people post their own lyrics here and nobody, well, feedbacks them.

Anyway, here's something of my own to keep the topic alive.

SOUL WATERS

Sham exterior
Rising high above waters of change
A planet breathing
Talking through the jumping waves
Envision the purity
Hiding within the restless ocean

The colours
Evaporate
But the bliss
Remains untouched

I might not discern
Outcomes of introspection
But the sea will still beckon me
And grant me keys to knowledge

Fueled
By stars
Frozen view
Remains still
Yet ever wondering

Perfectly lost in the winds of change
Seconds fly without saying goodbye
Reincarnated
After dark tides went awry
Born again
After weaknesses were challenged
High above once more
Now the sunlight am I

And today I will rest before soul waters
Without fear branded within my mind
Let them flow, let them overflow
I shalt breathe as never before


I have no idea what is going on. Seem too poetic and vague.
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The world is indeed comic, but the joke is on mankind.

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DividerOfShadows
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Sep 13, 2016 1:58 pm
Posts: 404
Location: Croatia
PostPosted: Wed Jan 31, 2018 11:56 am 
 

Kjetter wrote:
Not bad.


Thank you! :-D

The Ardbeg Wizard wrote:
I have no idea what is going on. Seem too poetic and vague.


Appreciate your feedback, man. Well, I guess that was the intention... I think I wrote this a couple of months after I was introduced to avant-garde poetry (y'know, futurism, surrealism, that kind of stuff) in my Croatian language class. I really like surrealistic works and I guess I unintentionally took some cues from it.
_________________
Earthcubed wrote:
CradleOfBurzum, about the new Summoning album snippet, wrote:
I was hoping for some material that resembles closer to "Lugburz"


And I'm still hoping for Katy Perry to do another Christian album.


My Last.fm

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Ebheron
Metal newbie

Joined: Sun Jan 28, 2018 6:28 pm
Posts: 35
Location: Brazil
PostPosted: Sun Feb 04, 2018 11:44 pm 
 

theheinouskilling667 wrote:
This song is called The Moon That Creates the Tide. The song I wrote to go along with it is melancholic black metal with doom influences. I'm not done yet though, I'll update when I write more.

The song is about individuality and the lack of need for a God. The moon in this song represents two things when I wrote it. 1.) The highest form of humanity, the ones in control of their destiny, doing what they want and is best for themselves, the ones always seeking wisdom, knoweldge and strenght, the ones always trying to better themselves, the true Satanist or 2.) Any human. In this scenario, the tide would represent any action, anything that happens. The moon causes the waves to move, and is responsible for keeping it all in balance. Human controls most things in their life, and are responsible for any action of theirs, positive or negative. In this song, however, I'm speaking mostly of positive actions, and how we owe the credit to ourselves than any God.
There's also an interpretation for the sea. The sea is the vastland of human wastes and idiots, to rise above means to rise to the moon.

The Moon That Creates the Tide...

Be!!
Tides of noxious water blue
With dying flame, alive
Becoming one with sea of plauge
Faith, abhorr and strive...

Hails to the unwilling blasphemous
Who stray above the sea
The true, of worth, of sin, of strength
For prideful masses we

Acscend to the moon...
With lustful, prideful hearts
Sorrow laden oceans of past
Vast..vast... (X2)



I really like it, very poetic and very fitting with the whole doom aesthetic.
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SleeperManShish
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Fri Apr 20, 2018 7:50 am
Posts: 8
Location: United Kingdom
PostPosted: Mon May 28, 2018 6:16 am 
 

I wrote a song about our tortoise George. He just kinda sits there looking dead most of the time so I wrote this to assure my stepdaughter that he's not dead or dying. I call it 'Tortoise Song'


George knows
That George goes
So slow
It's the way to be

And George sees
All around, he's
Just watching
And listening

When he eats and he sleeps and he sleeps and he sleeps for a day
Or a week, he's discreet and he's meek but he's completely a-ok

George knows
That George goes
So slow
It's the way to be

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PETERG
Metal newbie

Joined: Sat Jun 20, 2015 1:48 pm
Posts: 398
Location: Greece
PostPosted: Sat Jun 23, 2018 6:22 am 
 

SleeperManShish wrote:
I wrote a song about our tortoise George. He just kinda sits there looking dead most of the time so I wrote this to assure my stepdaughter that he's not dead or dying. I call it 'Tortoise Song'


George knows
That George goes
So slow
It's the way to be

And George sees
All around, he's
Just watching
And listening

When he eats and he sleeps and he sleeps and he sleeps for a day
Or a week, he's discreet and he's meek but he's completely a-ok

George knows
That George goes
So slow
It's the way to be





I really liked it due to its comedic concept! Although I think that you can fit a handful of puns and metaphors. I honestly think that this would be the number 1 hit of a grindcore band :lol:
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R.I.P. Diamhea.

RYM

I got places I gotta be!

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PETERG
Metal newbie

Joined: Sat Jun 20, 2015 1:48 pm
Posts: 398
Location: Greece
PostPosted: Mon Jun 25, 2018 2:21 am 
 

Well here are some of my lyrics. Not something special but whatever.

In times of endless moan
In times of flowers' withering and wheat's not growing.
We have to quell our fears.
Stand with strength and merit.

Unite with strenuous compassion.
The potion, crimson in color called "loyalty"
And the water in blue called "benevolence"
Flow through our veins.

"Ignorant", they call us
"Naive", they pity us
Ignore the pestilent jealousy of the masses.
We shall first choose a few, but brave.
_________________
R.I.P. Diamhea.

RYM

I got places I gotta be!

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projectfear22
Metal newbie

Joined: Thu Jun 04, 2015 2:22 pm
Posts: 75
Location: Croatia
PostPosted: Sun Jul 22, 2018 4:29 pm 
 

DividerOfShadows wrote:
It's strange how many people post their own lyrics here and nobody, well, feedbacks them.

Anyway, here's something of my own to keep the topic alive.

SOUL WATERS

Sham exterior
Rising high above waters of change
A planet breathing
Talking through the jumping waves
Envision the purity
Hiding within the restless ocean

The colours
Evaporate
But the bliss
Remains untouched

I might not discern
Outcomes of introspection
But the sea will still beckon me
And grant me keys to knowledge

Fueled
By stars
Frozen view
Remains still
Yet ever wondering

Perfectly lost in the winds of change
Seconds fly without saying goodbye
Reincarnated
After dark tides went awry
Born again
After weaknesses were challenged
High above once more
Now the sunlight am I

And today I will rest before soul waters
Without fear branded within my mind
Let them flow, let them overflow
I shalt breathe as never before


Čudi i mene što nitko ne komentira, al jbg.

I imagined a slow deterioration of planet Earth until it turned all matte like white. That's the bliss part.

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BuriedUnborn
Metal newbie

Joined: Wed Jul 26, 2017 12:01 pm
Posts: 318
Location: Inside your house
PostPosted: Tue Jul 31, 2018 10:49 am 
 

Some months ago I made this Agalloch-rip off while I was bored at 4 AM.

Quote:
Very far away,
In the northern landscapes,
The sun has set,
and the stars dissapeared.

No way to find,
God's light,
There isn't any guidance,
the moon has gone dark.

Nocturnal howls,
haunt my dreams of eternal rest,
in this forgotten paths,
my future shall be set.

In this citadel of trees,
the cold embraces my body,
while the wandering souls,
seal my faith and destiny.

At the heart of nature,
in this empire of dirt and stone,
I shall stay forever,
as the guardian of the elder Earth.

An overseer of all existence,
I hail from a place unknown,
lost in time and space,
built before this new world,
forgotten by the universe,
and buried deep in its story.
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My dark ambient project
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Research list | Huge research list

Moshing: Dancing like a madman, perpetrating a frantic and violent dance which consists in jumping and whipping your body against other brainless idiots until you enter an irrational and brutal pyramid of pleasure.

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swedeam
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Sat Jul 21, 2018 3:12 am
Posts: 11
PostPosted: Fri Nov 30, 2018 10:38 am 
 

some not very good old-school thrash shizz i wrote a while back now. just a note, the lyrics do kinda have a melody but it kinda slows down a little in the middle,


Sowing the seeds of destruction,
When alls quiet on the western fount,

Slippin' around like a viper,
Snapping back at decanters,
With your silver tounge,

Nobody would ever guessed,
You were sowing the seeds... of destruction!


Well now you sit, upon your throne of dust,
As the maggots eat through your rotted flesh,
and the fleas swarm around your head,

nobody's fooled,
anymore!


the putrid shell of a former man,
once you were sowing the seeds of destruction,
now your just skin and bone,

once you were something more,
but no longer,

well you'll pay for sins,
And burn in hell with all the others!

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DividerOfShadows
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Sep 13, 2016 1:58 pm
Posts: 404
Location: Croatia
PostPosted: Sun Jan 27, 2019 5:55 am 
 

Just a heads-up, fellas, but if you happen to stumble upon some poetry of yours, so something that you haven't envisioned along with music, there's also a thread for that here.
_________________
Earthcubed wrote:
CradleOfBurzum, about the new Summoning album snippet, wrote:
I was hoping for some material that resembles closer to "Lugburz"


And I'm still hoping for Katy Perry to do another Christian album.


My Last.fm

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whilrwindstruggle
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Wed Nov 26, 2014 1:42 pm
Posts: 16
PostPosted: Fri May 03, 2019 8:09 pm 
 

incomplete:

Subject to predation

Like a force from beyond
Instinct drives me forward
Toward the scent of gore
Focusing my senses
The quarry tumbles
Adrenaline surges

It looks to me
As I break cover
Yet to its flank
Comes the attack

The day may belong to man
Yet the old night - that is ours

another sketch:

moments of anguished screaming filled the silence
then the low guttering of a dying fire
In the heat of purgation
What morsel of my being remains

There are things recorded
That should never been known
LIke an endless revelation
Echoing in stone

Rebellion is an idea in the mind
Suppress it and it hides away and festers

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projectfear22
Metal newbie

Joined: Thu Jun 04, 2015 2:22 pm
Posts: 75
Location: Croatia
PostPosted: Fri Jul 12, 2019 8:32 am 
 

whilrwindstruggle wrote:
incomplete:

Subject to predation

Like a force from beyond
Instinct drives me forward
Toward the scent of gore
Focusing my senses
The quarry tumbles
Adrenaline surges

It looks to me
As I break cover
Yet to its flank
Comes the attack

The day may belong to man
Yet the old night - that is ours

another sketch:

moments of anguished screaming filled the silence
then the low guttering of a dying fire
In the heat of purgation
What morsel of my being remains

There are things recorded
That should never been known
LIke an endless revelation
Echoing in stone

Rebellion is an idea in the mind
Suppress it and it hides away and festers


Are those two songs? The second one is better as it's more vivid. But both are great. I only have a problem with the first song. Because the moment I read "gore" I cringed. It's show don't tell. I highly suggest to remove the word gore and restructure the image in a few more lines of text as opposed to just swtiching 1 word (gore) with another different word.

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projectfear22
Metal newbie

Joined: Thu Jun 04, 2015 2:22 pm
Posts: 75
Location: Croatia
PostPosted: Fri Jul 12, 2019 8:33 am 
 

swedeam wrote:
some not very good old-school thrash shizz i wrote a while back now. just a note, the lyrics do kinda have a melody but it kinda slows down a little in the middle,


Sowing the seeds of destruction,
When alls quiet on the western fount,

Slippin' around like a viper,
Snapping back at decanters,
With your silver tounge,

Nobody would ever guessed,
You were sowing the seeds... of destruction!


Well now you sit, upon your throne of dust,
As the maggots eat through your rotted flesh,
and the fleas swarm around your head,

nobody's fooled,
anymore!


the putrid shell of a former man,
once you were sowing the seeds of destruction,
now your just skin and bone,

once you were something more,
but no longer,

well you'll pay for sins,
And burn in hell with all the others!


That definitely sounds like TM, you got the lyrics correct. Are you in a band or playing?

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projectfear22
Metal newbie

Joined: Thu Jun 04, 2015 2:22 pm
Posts: 75
Location: Croatia
PostPosted: Fri Jul 12, 2019 8:35 am 
 

PETERG wrote:
Well here are some of my lyrics. Not something special but whatever.

In times of endless moan
In times of flowers' withering and wheat's not growing.
We have to quell our fears.
Stand with strength and merit.

Unite with strenuous compassion.
The potion, crimson in color called "loyalty"
And the water in blue called "benevolence"
Flow through our veins.

"Ignorant", they call us
"Naive", they pity us
Ignore the pestilent jealousy of the masses.
We shall first choose a few, but brave.


It's very well structured, could you continue the writing process and make this a full-er song? because it could be very special.

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Niklas Sanger
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Dec 30, 2014 7:17 pm
Posts: 447
Location: United States
PostPosted: Mon Oct 07, 2019 4:48 pm 
 

These are some ideas for lyrics I have, the music itself isn't fully written yet so I haven't solidified a solid verse/chorus structure.

There is no greater harmony

To love only what happens

The control of our destiny

Our weakness, our passions



How brief is our time?

How fleeting the moment?

The dye of our thoughts

Colors our souls



Dwelling on the beauties of life

Content in the moment

The stars in the night

Are what guides our atonement



The truth of a man

Is revealed in time

What must be done

For contentment of mind



In life there are vices much darker than the rest

The lack of persistence, the lack of self control

The qualities that are required for success

Are the will to persist, the strength to resist



Our time in life, is not meant to last

We exist in nature, a fleeting moment

The strength to learn from; yet not live in the past

Our fates are frozen, our destinies chosen



In life, satisfaction lives inside oneself

The way of thinking, the power of judgement

With this we realize that nothing is truth

What we hear is opinion, what we see is perspective



In my dying years

Near the end I see

Did my life have purpose?

How will men speak of me?



A tyrant, a sophist?

A soldier, or philosopher?

Was I a just leader?

Or did my people suffer?



For twenty-five years, I have conquered, brought the sword

Only four years of peace out of twenty, and what for?

Spilling blood, I have plundered and conquered

In the freezing mud, I have fought for Rome’s honor



Rome was once a dream, and what has it become?

Its chief ideals are now forsaken by its sons

What was once a whisper, has all but vanished

Ruled by the mob, now it is cruel and savage



What is done in life, will echo in eternity

Corrupted by greed, the vices of modernity

The actions of men, who are immoral and weak

What ravages and darkness that their crimes will wreak!
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Auselesspileofflesh
Metalhead

Joined: Wed Feb 13, 2008 11:41 pm
Posts: 667
Location: Australia
PostPosted: Sun Oct 10, 2021 11:21 pm 
 

I'll drop the lyrics for my band's newest song, happy to hear your thoughts and criticisms.
Here the song here - https://awfulnoisegrind.bandcamp.com/tr ... een-regime

"Scene Queen Regime"

Ignorance is bliss, dishonesty pays
He who bears an invisible crown 
and wears a patch jacket gown 



Bastardized hierarchy 



My back is turned, your blade is drawn 

Slit me up from groin to sternum 
Another story for your gossip column 



We mourn for your lost moral code (gone but not forgotten) 



Queen of the scene, fantasy absurd 
All life lessons you’ve refused to learn 



Aristocratic inbreeding

Queen of the scene, a fantasy absurd 
All of life's lessons you’ve refused to learn



Heavy metal high school

Take it all and give me nothing 

Another round for the self-serving 

Self-proclaimed lord of drones

Skulls and bones for stepping stones 




Reign supreme scene regime

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Nocturnal_Evil
Metalhead

Joined: Mon Apr 19, 2021 12:00 am
Posts: 668
Location: United States
PostPosted: Wed Jun 08, 2022 10:08 am 
 

Here’s a dumb song about metal. Its not done, but I had fun writing it so far.

[TBD Title]

From the sons of British steel
To the northern chaos gods
The metallians are here and they’re [??]

From the thrashers of the states of the states
To European festival fields
The spirit is alive and
This metal power is real

This is the sound of perseverance
Through the darkness all around
Faceless and invulnerable
From Sunlight to Morrisound

(Bridge)
In the sign of the hammer
Under the dark mark we ride
All in league with satan
Leaving dead angels to lie

(Chorus)
We’ll follow the freezing moon until our blood runs cold
This music we bring is the voice of the soul
Thriving underground in a world for ourselves
Where everything’s louder than everything else

(Chorus 2)
We’ll follow the reaper until our blood runs cold
This music we bring is the voice of the soul
Thriving underground in a world for ourselves
Where everything’s louder than everything else
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Hashmike
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Thu Apr 25, 2019 11:45 am
Posts: 1
Location: Germany
PostPosted: Mon Jul 25, 2022 2:03 pm 
 

"A Nation's Collapse"

I'm witnessing the puppet's grief
As if the wardens haven't seen before
Limbs so seemingly disrupt
It's like our kings really wanted this to happen

Watch the barricades
Sleep inside our walls


Another turbulence happened
Between our ruler and his so-called folk
The tension soon will reach a new high
A riot's about to start and another city crumbles

See the towers scorch
Thanks to puppetry


We prophecied the decay of nation
By the sacrilegious guardians
Of the ashes they created
Demanding the indoctrination
(2x)

Falling to our ruler
The emperor of treason
Prevent him from further
manipulative behavior


You're witnessing my famous grief
Just like myself seeing it before
Limbs are seemingly broken
I failed the mission as if I've done the right thing

Nothing to observe
Just capitulation

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Eternal Unity
Metal newbie

Joined: Mon Apr 19, 2021 5:29 am
Posts: 275
Location: Israel
PostPosted: Fri Jan 13, 2023 2:29 pm 
 

My signature? Very first verse of my lyrical journey.
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A Drop of dew in divine pond
Elysian rivers of boundless time
Constellations beyond
Rejoin my soul with thine

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pentalarc22
Metal newbie

Joined: Sat Jun 03, 2023 8:28 pm
Posts: 63
Location: United States
PostPosted: Tue Jun 13, 2023 5:56 pm 
 

PETERG wrote:
SleeperManShish wrote:
I wrote a song about our tortoise George. He just kinda sits there looking dead most of the time so I wrote this to assure my stepdaughter that he's not dead or dying. I call it 'Tortoise Song'


George knows
That George goes
So slow
It's the way to be

And George sees
All around, he's
Just watching
And listening

When he eats and he sleeps and he sleeps and he sleeps for a day
Or a week, he's discreet and he's meek but he's completely a-ok

George knows
That George goes
So slow
It's the way to be





I really liked it due to its comedic concept! Although I think that you can fit a handful of puns and metaphors. I honestly think that this would be the number 1 hit of a grindcore band :lol:


Heh, I heard it in my head as Melvins-y doom. Sorta "Boris" pt. 2 but about a tortoise.
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pentalarc22
Metal newbie

Joined: Sat Jun 03, 2023 8:28 pm
Posts: 63
Location: United States
PostPosted: Tue Jun 13, 2023 7:24 pm 
 

Looking for some feedback here. My current project that I'm writing lyrics for at the moment is turning out a bit different than I am used to. My lyrics normally both very abstract and philosphical, and very modern. I'm finding that my current project is requiring something more . . . direct . . .at leat that is what I feel called to write.

My main worry, is that my lyrics will seem . . . goofy/immature/over the top, when I get too literal. Then again, my literal may be different from how others will see it. I've never been into the gore side of death metal (I'm not bashing it, just not my thing) but the lyrics for this project seem to rquire a . . . bloodier outlook.

Background on the project so that you know what I'm going for: Industrial blackened death metal. Lyrical themes: Chthonic paganism and occultism, vengeance, anti-puritanism, and anarchy. Witchy/pagan, but I'm much more the working class suburban garage with melted black wax on everything type pagan than the commune with nature type pagan. (Again, not bashing it, just a different outlook.) Working project name: Diadem of Ashes, working release name "To Rise Burning from Death and Blood."

Sound: Extremely harsh and ugly. Vocals alternate/vary between a death growl and a black shriek. Mostly fast, with one song (one of the ones below) much slower and more on the side of blackened sludge. I'm thinking about mult-tracking some of the vocals in takes where one would be growl, one shriek, one clean, and one my 90's metal tone, but that might be an awful idea.

The lines that have "___!!!" at the end show that the last syllable of it will be as high a black shriek as I can manage held for as long as I can manage.

(Note: two of the songs, including the slow one below (the other not here) on the release will be rewritten from a blackened death metal band I had a while back that fell apart)

Without further prologue:

Regicide
^^^^^^
Fortuna turns
And throws you to the ground
Blindly you grope
Your bloody hands through mud
To find a broken crown

And now the widowmaker screams
To find himself alone
Your throne becomes your oubliette
The Earth becomes our throne

You claim
Uneasy lies
The head that wears the crown
So easy lies your head upon the ground

The broken bodies
(of) Those you starved
Wield blades to your defeat
To you they were merely slaves
To them you’re merely meat.

You manufacture claims your god
Demands your rule of all
While ours demand as offering
The spectacle of your fall

You lie
Uneasy lies
The head that wears the crown
So easy lies your head upon the ground.

Tyrant!
You mocked those you left to die
And claimed was fate of circumstance
The Torch-Bearer and the Horned One
Demand your life and recompense

Worthless fool!
You cry
Uneasy lies
The head that wear the crown
So easy lies your head upon the ground

---
---
(Note the one below is both the slow "blackened sludge" one, and one of the ones re-written from the old project)

The Blemished Lamb
^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Born poisoned
Manipulated
Suffering
Contrived or fated

Abandoned
You have already served
Their purpose
Deserved or undeserved

God and Darwin
Shake their heads and laugh

The Blemished Lamb

Born broken
No destiny
Continue dull existence
A travesty.

Forgotten
You have played your part
Left bleeding
Without head and without heart

God and Darwin
Play with loaded dice

The Blemished Lamb

Choose!
You have seen
Enlightenment
Saprophytic mycelaeic guide
You have seen the way
There is no purity
Only shades of filth
There is no clarity
Only choices of corruption

The Blemished Lamb!

Learn!
You deserve no gentle guidance
Choose your own dark goddess
Too late for avoidance
So sweet is the azalea honey
Datura, Belladonna

Three choices
Three hands
Third upon a match
Three faces
Three sorrows
Infinite burning paths

The Blemished Lamb lies down
Face down upon the Earth
A monster born
Shall monsters breed
But who shall be the prey?
And so praise in forbidden words
The worthless fear to say
And rot for your rebirth

Hebenon
Datura
Belladonna

---
---

And this is the one that I worry might have gone from dark to silly. THe last part that seems to break pattern is a false breakdown, that suddenly jerks right back into the verse riff and speeds back up,

The Baying of Hounds
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Alone in darkness
Drowning in your fear
The bay of brindled hounds becomes
The only sound you hear

You traitors of humanity
You priests of greed and rape
Death shall come to you
But shall be no escape___!!!!

Shorn of your strength
Your hands weak as your mind
You search for your last defense
But there’s nothing there to find

You fools of broke philosophy
You harbingers of need
Now is your time to burn to ash
Now is your time to bleed___!!!

Her claws drip with your blood
I lick them clean
Unsafe from our vengeance
Even in your dreams
You try to run but only fall
As the spirts that you claim to serve
Ignore your desperate call
Why bother with your broken corpse?
What is there worth to save?
Dead and paralyzed you watch
We fuck upon your grave____!!!!

---
---

feedback welcome
_________________
I liked things before they were cool before liking things before they were cool was cool.

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pentalarc22
Metal newbie

Joined: Sat Jun 03, 2023 8:28 pm
Posts: 63
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sat Jul 15, 2023 10:37 pm 
 

Again, for the backgroudn/sound/genre of it

Background on the project so that you know what I'm going for: Industrial blackened death metal. Lyrical themes: Chthonic paganism and occultism, vengeance, anti-puritanism, and anarchy. Witchy/pagan, but I'm much more the working class suburban garage with melted black wax on everything type pagan than the commune with nature type pagan. (Again, not bashing it, just a different outlook.) Working project name: Diadem of Ashes, working release name "To Rise Burning from Death and Blood."

This one is more on the death side than the black side.

For some reason I cannot get the e with accent grave to show, but the last "e" in both times of "blessed" and the last e on "enhorned" should be with a grave accent and thus two and three syllables respectively. (Or they don't scan right and just sound . . .bad.) Blessed as an adjective normally is pronounced as two syllables anyway. . .



Goeteia
^^^^^

Hear me
I offer thus
In mournful love
And silent trust

WIth ash upon my brow
I make this twisting vow
I am your left hand claw
Against unthinking law

Black Iron Lord!
Chthonic Queen!
Ensnaring Hunter!
Mistress of Shades Unseen!
I am the gate
I am the thread between
The Triune Paths
The nightmare and the dream
I reach across
To see, hear, and feel
And I will lead your horde
Of those who will not kneel

Hear me
I offer here
By my own will
And without fear

With ash upon my brow
I will unwav'ring say
Your Spirits are my blade
And I will point the way

Dread Sisters Two!
Blessed or sickly pale!
Thrice-Born Youth and rake!
Elder Enhorned Lord!
Divine hand
Blessed corruption sows
Soothe or accuse
The madd'ning ivy grows
I will walk the stairs
I shall not look behind
Your Spirits' claws shall tear
The chains from off my mind

(interlude)

Hear me
I offer thus
In mournful love
And ancient trust

With ash upon my brow
I make this twisting vow
Dark enlightened priest
To lead the silent feast

Cholric Lord of Grain!
Thrice Blessed Guide!
Three Barons laugh!
Stand open-eyed!
All that is shall fall
To rot upon the Earth
Eternal cycle turns
Through true and monstrous birth
All that they have destroyed
Shall burning rise again
To strike the vile with death
And let rebirth begin.
_________________
I liked things before they were cool before liking things before they were cool was cool.

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pentalarc22
Metal newbie

Joined: Sat Jun 03, 2023 8:28 pm
Posts: 63
Location: United States
PostPosted: Tue Jul 25, 2023 4:07 pm 
 

I will have discipline. I will stage 2 write and record project one, while stage 1 writing project two. I will not jump ahead to project 3. I will not jump to project 3. I will not jump to project 3.

That fucking Oppenheimer moving making him look like a fucking hero.

Fuck it.

Project three is going to be harsh industrial metal. Working name for project Cenobite Prom Date. WOrking title for first release/album Destroying Angels


Rock
$$$$

I’m an ape with a rock
I’m an ape with a stick
I kill and eat and fuck
Do you think it’s sick?

I’m a man with a kinfe
I’m a man with a gun
I kill and eat and fuck
Cuz it’s such fuckin’ fun

Let’s evolve
To survive you say to kill
We devolve
To do it for the thrill
You preen and flex
Don’t fucking care
We evolve
And go fucking nowhere!!!!!!!!

I’m an ass with keyboard
I’m an ass with a sneer
I know where you live
I know how to make you fear

I’m a man with a with a crown
I want the land and sea
I’m a man with a bomb
So go and die for me

Let’s evolve
To survive you say to kill
We devolve
To do it for the thrill
You preen and flex
Don’t fucking care
We evolve
And go fucking nowhere!!!!!!!!

I’m a man with a rock
I’m an ape with a crown
I’m a man with a stick
I’m an ape with a bomb

I’m an ape with a bomb
I’m an ape with a bomb
I’m an ape with a bomb
I’m an ape with a
BOMB!!!!!!!!!!!!

Let’s evolve
To survive you say to kill
We devolve
To do it for the thrill
You preen and flex
Don’t fucking care
We evolve
And go fucking nowhere!!!!!!!!
_________________
I liked things before they were cool before liking things before they were cool was cool.

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COFFINS
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Mon Jun 19, 2006 3:35 pm
Posts: 1
Location: Lebanon
PostPosted: Thu Aug 24, 2023 9:52 pm 
 

Hello guys,

I am writing lyrics for Black, Death and Doom metal bands.
Anyone interested plz contact me.

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duwan
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue Feb 28, 2023 8:16 pm
Posts: 87
Location: Brazil
PostPosted: Sat Oct 14, 2023 3:46 pm 
 

I found a text file I wrote back on 2021:

Spoiler: show
The road to the grim extermination
Futile race emerged from little cells
Seven billion of these
Calculated to natural manslaughter

We've been proliferated by chaos through remorseless minds
Reduced to a urge from psychopatic minds claiming for zeal
No nature enough to embrace the inhumanity of the specimens
Versatile exposure for a ecological feature slowly falling apart

Hang off the stew of stupid homo sapiens
We dig our own graves while mayhem appears
Devolution through extinction of our species
Another stepstone to eschatology...

Oceans of thirst cut open
We've created our own Pangaea
To make us suffer and die
And humanity created doom...

And our cruelty ends with the extinction of humanity
Harmonic elimination, life's testament to mayhem

Lifeless bodies...

From entertainment to self-destruction
From guts to intestines
From plants to carnivores
From heart to ache
World - official disposal of hatred
We destroy the one that feed us
We crush the one that gave the hand to us
We're so professional on destroy the world
We're stupid people, we're idiots in forms of bipeds

A versatile chorus for a lullaby to our final words
While life is slowly consumed by the void of nothingness
To extirpate and expurgate our brand new rush of pollution
From men to inventions to pure misanthropic carrions
We're the body count, a useless piece of flesh
Rose up the destructed metabolism - the pierced minds
So misfortunate you were, you've been presented headless

Confirmed: from garbage to fucking pieces of shit
Time's vanishment slowly slit our throats...
_________________
who da fuk sent me this shit - my friend after I crush his face with a hammer (cannibal corpse referenec)
ChatGPT wrote:
The first lineup of the band Carcass included Bill Steer on guitar and Lee Dorrian on vocals.

Check my mediocre ahh reviews

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