Have you ever had a dream of being able to jazz up your favourite album? Make funeral doom fun at parties? Give Bolt Thrower the appearance of death metal proper? Combine Immortal with... cats? Expose Immolation for the posers that they are? Create your own version of Batushka? Or simply play off Wintersun's prolific creative effort?

Well, you can today! All you need to do is leave a message here with your own version! Without further ado...

Nocturnus - The Key to Success
Tracklist:
1. Desk on Fire
2. Standing in Black
3. Visions from Beyond the Board
4. Neopolitic
5. BC/AD (blind copy / auto-distribute)
6. Andromeda Inc.
7. Droid Sector
8. Destroying the Manager
9. Empire of the Sanders

going online while drunk is never a good idea

Way back in 2002, my CD copy of my favourite metal album "Blackwater Park" got scuffed, and the end of Bleak clipped/skipped a bit going into the intro of Harvest. Obviously, back then, there was no spotify, and torrenting albums wasn't yet exactly what it would become. I listened to that CD copy of the disc until around 2006/2007 when I finally downloaded a new version of it. I had become so used to that systematic, syncopated skipping, that now I wish it was on the actual version.

That's the only remixing I need, thank you.

I listened to a promo copy of Katatonia's The Great Cold Distance a lot. It was my favourite album for months. Every song had this voice saying something like "you're listening to the New Katatonia album, The Great Cold Distance". A few years later I bought the CD and every time I heard the album, the voice was still there in my mind. It was pretty weird.

I have a few Edguy tracks from Rocket Ride that are burned into my memory like that - as well as the track "If I Die Tomorrow" by Motley Crue.

I'd love to hear Cannibal Corpse get the kids bops treatment.

Your stories remind me of the Burzum / Uruk-Hai album, only a few tapes of this material existed, so it had never been officially released. A few years ago some lucky fan came into possession of this tape and uploaded it on youtube. He added this weird clicking sound across the whole album to protect it from being stolen and sold as a bootleg. In 2021 Varg received a copy of this album and finally released it officially, without the clicking sound, of course. Many Burzum fans now have nostalgia for this noise, so to speak.