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Gutterscream
The Last Old Schooler in Town

Joined: Fri Feb 18, 2005 3:59 pm
Posts: 1083
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sat Sep 30, 2006 11:39 am 
 

The barrage of Maiden reviews from Fatal_Metal belie the kid's age and origin. He must've been working on these for quite some time. I don't really think Killers is the 'lost' Maiden album, but hey, overall he did a swell job.

Is it me or did we see an influx of Maiden reviews after the Maiden lp elimination thing that I missed first time 'round?
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"Who's this again?" my brother asks as his exceptional jeep stereo explodes with sound.
"Lair of the Minotaur!", I say loudly.
"Glare of the Minotaur?"
"No, Lair...but that's a pretty damn good name too!".

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Noktorn
Metalhead

Joined: Fri Feb 11, 2005 5:31 pm
Posts: 1712
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sat Sep 30, 2006 4:19 pm 
 

stickyshooZ wrote:
Noktorn wrote:
Minotaur wrote:
Osmium wrote:
This review, by bleakhorizons, of Morbid Angel's "Blessed Are the Sick," is fucking amazing.


Are you kidding me? That's very very very wordy, even by my standards. It seems like if it were written by prozak's dad.


I have mixed feelings about it. It's very pretty and accurate, but it doesn't seem to be saying all that much. Also, there seems to be some weird writing/rating agreement, particularly with this getting a 91% and his review of Domination getting a 75% (!?).

Nothing really surprising about that, considering Blessed... is the better album by far.


I meant that there should be a far, far wider disparity between those two.
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Noktorn
Metalhead

Joined: Fri Feb 11, 2005 5:31 pm
Posts: 1712
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sat Sep 30, 2006 11:47 pm 
 

My usual worship of Gutterscream in his review of the 4-way 'Metal Race' split. Excellent descriptions, analogies, and holistic knowledge, per usual, and a pleasure to read. My only possible complain is about the weird splitting of the reviews, which is neat and aesthetically pleasing, but not that pragmatic. I actually thought that the Cyclone review was the whole thing before I checked the second one on a whim.
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Gutterscream
The Last Old Schooler in Town

Joined: Fri Feb 18, 2005 3:59 pm
Posts: 1083
Location: United States
PostPosted: Tue Oct 03, 2006 8:26 am 
 

I did that so people going to a particular band page isn't stuck with a description of the whole album, but just who they went there for. I thought the '1 of 4' would have alluded there was more to it.
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"Who's this again?" my brother asks as his exceptional jeep stereo explodes with sound.
"Lair of the Minotaur!", I say loudly.
"Glare of the Minotaur?"
"No, Lair...but that's a pretty damn good name too!".

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Thamuz
Metal newbie

Joined: Sun Aug 22, 2004 7:56 pm
Posts: 100
Location: Australia
PostPosted: Tue Oct 03, 2006 11:57 pm 
 

Kab's reviews are excellent. Solid music description, a sense of imagination and the odd witty comment.

The 'Blessed Are The Sick' review is superb. I'll have to read it again when I listen to that album. There is more to it than the usual review.

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Kab
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Wed Sep 13, 2006 9:36 pm
Posts: 19
PostPosted: Wed Oct 04, 2006 12:44 am 
 

Thamuz wrote:
Kab's reviews are excellent. Solid music description, a sense of imagination and the odd witty comment.


Much obliged for the feedback.

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Gutterscream
The Last Old Schooler in Town

Joined: Fri Feb 18, 2005 3:59 pm
Posts: 1083
Location: United States
PostPosted: Wed Oct 04, 2006 8:36 am 
 

Yeah, I've been touching down on some of Kab's reviews as well. He seems at ease with florid description (it's easy to come off turgid when writing these, but he shakes it off nicely) and even when he seems to be going a little off the mark (like with the Spanish guy writing English analogy in one of his latest), he still manages to wind it up with relevance. Good stuff.
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"Who's this again?" my brother asks as his exceptional jeep stereo explodes with sound.
"Lair of the Minotaur!", I say loudly.
"Glare of the Minotaur?"
"No, Lair...but that's a pretty damn good name too!".

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Noktorn
Metalhead

Joined: Fri Feb 11, 2005 5:31 pm
Posts: 1712
Location: United States
PostPosted: Wed Oct 04, 2006 3:26 pm 
 

Gutterscream wrote:
I did that so people going to a particular band page isn't stuck with a description of the whole album, but just who they went there for. I thought the '1 of 4' would have alluded there was more to it.


It did, I'd just never seen division like that before.
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Gutterscream
The Last Old Schooler in Town

Joined: Fri Feb 18, 2005 3:59 pm
Posts: 1083
Location: United States
PostPosted: Thu Oct 05, 2006 10:37 am 
 

Noktorn wrote:
Gutterscream wrote:
I did that so people going to a particular band page isn't stuck with a description of the whole album, but just who they went there for. I thought the '1 of 4' would have alluded there was more to it.


It did, I'd just never seen division like that before.


Well, you're in luck, 'cause I have another coming up as soon as my buddy fixes my home computer that went kablosh on Monday night (I don't have a turntable here at work, an inconvenience I may be rectifying shortly).
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"Who's this again?" my brother asks as his exceptional jeep stereo explodes with sound.
"Lair of the Minotaur!", I say loudly.
"Glare of the Minotaur?"
"No, Lair...but that's a pretty damn good name too!".

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Gutterscream
The Last Old Schooler in Town

Joined: Fri Feb 18, 2005 3:59 pm
Posts: 1083
Location: United States
PostPosted: Thu Oct 05, 2006 12:33 pm 
 

I've read it a few times now and I still don't know if I like the latest Bonded by Blood review - http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=728#80281 - by Ultimate. While he's got a way with words, the critique reminds me of someone trying too hard to dissect the passages of the Bible.
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"Who's this again?" my brother asks as his exceptional jeep stereo explodes with sound.
"Lair of the Minotaur!", I say loudly.
"Glare of the Minotaur?"
"No, Lair...but that's a pretty damn good name too!".

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Kab
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Wed Sep 13, 2006 9:36 pm
Posts: 19
PostPosted: Thu Oct 05, 2006 7:31 pm 
 

That's pretty artsy for a thrash review.

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RickJames
Future Drone Librarian

Joined: Mon Aug 16, 2004 10:59 am
Posts: 254
Location: United States
PostPosted: Tue Oct 10, 2006 1:19 am 
 

Goddamn, not again. :nono:
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Last edited by RickJames on Thu Oct 12, 2006 12:51 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Lord_Jotun
Veteran

Joined: Sat Sep 13, 2003 5:02 pm
Posts: 2747
Location: Italy
PostPosted: Wed Oct 11, 2006 6:14 am 
 

Gutterscream's new Candlemass review rocks, as usual. However, I had to mention it since he shares my opinion about Battlecry :D
Keep it going, man.
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Doomlord_dtr
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Mon May 15, 2006 9:30 pm
Posts: 3
Location: Australia
PostPosted: Thu Oct 12, 2006 8:01 pm 
 

Wretched (US)
Revelation (US)

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Nightgaunt
I'll Swallow Your Soul

Joined: Sat Mar 06, 2004 9:50 pm
Posts: 2922
PostPosted: Thu Oct 12, 2006 11:02 pm 
 

Doomlord_dtr wrote:
Wretched (US)
Revelation (US)


I think you're looking for this thread.
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Gutterscream
The Last Old Schooler in Town

Joined: Fri Feb 18, 2005 3:59 pm
Posts: 1083
Location: United States
PostPosted: Fri Oct 13, 2006 8:23 am 
 

Lord_Jotun wrote:
Gutterscream's new Candlemass review rocks, as usual. However, I had to mention it since he shares my opinion about Battlecry :D
Keep it going, man.


Thanks LJ - did this one at work clandestinely since I still don't have a working home computer.
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"Who's this again?" my brother asks as his exceptional jeep stereo explodes with sound.
"Lair of the Minotaur!", I say loudly.
"Glare of the Minotaur?"
"No, Lair...but that's a pretty damn good name too!".

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DeathForBlitzkrieg
A Dead Man's Robe

Joined: Thu Jan 27, 2005 1:23 pm
Posts: 784
Location: Pannonia
PostPosted: Fri Oct 13, 2006 4:31 pm 
 

I really enjoy requiem99's reviews for viking/folk metal albums, especially for Windir's Sóknardalr.

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Peregrin
Cricket Bat of Longinus

Joined: Wed Jul 07, 2004 3:09 am
Posts: 178
Location: Denmark
PostPosted: Tue Oct 24, 2006 10:25 am 
 

Not that much of a recommendation, but... I admire hells_unicorn for applying the depth of analysis he does to the more traditional corners of Heavy Metal, even if his urge to shoehorn everything into his Objectivist worldview often comes across as rather forced. Case in point - in his review of House of God he makes the case that King Diamond is a fellow follower of Ayn Rand, and not once in his Lost Horizon reviews does he contemplate whether or not their Existentialist lyrics could be influenced by Sartre. (who is obviously much better known than Rand)
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Wretchosoft
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Fri Sep 29, 2006 8:31 pm
Posts: 16
Location: United States of America
PostPosted: Tue Oct 24, 2006 10:01 pm 
 

Gutterscream wrote:
I've read it a few times now and I still don't know if I like the latest Bonded by Blood review - http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=728#80281 - by Ultimate. While he's got a way with words, the critique reminds me of someone trying too hard to dissect the passages of the Bible.


I don't particularly enjoy the academic style and grotesque overanalysis, but it does bring up some interesting points.

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Wretchosoft
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Fri Sep 29, 2006 8:31 pm
Posts: 16
Location: United States of America
PostPosted: Tue Oct 24, 2006 10:32 pm 
 

First off, I loved droneriot's review on Nile's Black Seeds of Vengeance, even though I enjoy Nile to a degree. It's so true, death metal (my favorite genre!) has been on its deathbed for oh so long because of this obsession with brutality. Who will rescue it?

Secondly, Falco, while I may not always agree with him, he pointed me in the direction of some damn good bands. All of his reviews are very insightful.

That's it for my fellating today.

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Kab
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Wed Sep 13, 2006 9:36 pm
Posts: 19
PostPosted: Sat Oct 28, 2006 6:50 pm 
 

That Erin_Fox guy's review of Naglfar's Pariah is hilarious. It's not really helpful, but it's thesaurus-abusing at its finest.

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erickg13
Metalhead

Joined: Mon Jul 17, 2006 7:46 pm
Posts: 994
Location: The Middle of the Pacific Ocean.
PostPosted: Sat Oct 28, 2006 7:15 pm 
 

Kab wrote:
That Erin_Fox guy's review of Naglfar's Pariah is hilarious. It's not really helpful, but it's thesaurus-abusing at its finest.


i read some of that guys stuff (all of it was submitted today ha) and he is a thesaurus abuser, but he's funny and has usually something decent to say, while some other thesaurus abuses try to cloak their lack of what ever it my be (purpose? saying something? just no being good?)

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Napero
GedankenPanzer

Joined: Sun Jan 02, 2005 4:16 pm
Posts: 8817
Location: Finland
PostPosted: Sun Oct 29, 2006 3:38 am 
 

erickg13 wrote:
Kab wrote:
That Erin_Fox guy's review of Naglfar's Pariah is hilarious. It's not really helpful, but it's thesaurus-abusing at its finest.


i read some of that guys stuff (all of it was submitted today ha) and he is a thesaurus abuser, but he's funny and has usually something decent to say, while some other thesaurus abuses try to cloak their lack of what ever it my be (purpose? saying something? just no being good?)

I like his works. There's more on the way. Much more. I believe you can either read them or the Fellowship of the Ring, the choice is yours...
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erickg13
Metalhead

Joined: Mon Jul 17, 2006 7:46 pm
Posts: 994
Location: The Middle of the Pacific Ocean.
PostPosted: Sun Oct 29, 2006 12:48 pm 
 

Napero wrote:
erickg13 wrote:
Kab wrote:
That Erin_Fox guy's review of Naglfar's Pariah is hilarious. It's not really helpful, but it's thesaurus-abusing at its finest.


i read some of that guys stuff (all of it was submitted today ha) and he is a thesaurus abuser, but he's funny and has usually something decent to say, while some other thesaurus abuses try to cloak their lack of what ever it my be (purpose? saying something? just no being good?)

I like his works. There's more on the way. Much more. I believe you can either read them or the Fellowship of the Ring, the choice is yours...


lol, ive read one review by this guy that if you tryed to read in one sitting, it would be about as long as any of the lord of the rings movies :lol:

i believe it was on black sabbath's first 8 albums...i forget what site it was....

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Peregrin
Cricket Bat of Longinus

Joined: Wed Jul 07, 2004 3:09 am
Posts: 178
Location: Denmark
PostPosted: Mon Oct 30, 2006 11:44 am 
 

erickg13 wrote:
i read some of that guys stuff (all of it was submitted today ha) and he is a thesaurus abuser, but he's funny and has usually something decent to say, while some other thesaurus abuses try to cloak their lack of what ever it my be (purpose? saying something? just no being good?)


Thesaurus abusers? Haven't heard that one before...
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Napero
GedankenPanzer

Joined: Sun Jan 02, 2005 4:16 pm
Posts: 8817
Location: Finland
PostPosted: Thu Nov 02, 2006 3:25 pm 
 

I like Peregrin's reviews. His new one on Torchure's The Essence is good.

Recommended.
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Peregrin
Cricket Bat of Longinus

Joined: Wed Jul 07, 2004 3:09 am
Posts: 178
Location: Denmark
PostPosted: Thu Nov 02, 2006 3:41 pm 
 

Thanks. To be fair, I had been working on that for a while, but various computer trouble kept me from completing it for some months.
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stickyshooZ
TO HAVE AND TO HOLD

Joined: Fri Apr 16, 2004 12:29 am
Posts: 1376
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sun Nov 05, 2006 11:48 am 
 

I just read Hells_unicorn's Vulgar Display of Power review and enjoyed it quite a bit. I can't stop laughing at this:

Quote:
Essentially when music grooves, it doesn’t go anywhere, we don’t get change ups, we don’t get contrast, we simply get the groove. We don’t get intricate riffs, we don’t get soaring banshee screams and clean low vocals, we merely get the groove. We don’t get music: we don’t get art, WE GET THE FUCKING GROOVE!!!


:lol:
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OlympicSharpshooter
The Universal Magnetic

Joined: Wed Dec 31, 2003 3:24 pm
Posts: 795
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Mon Nov 06, 2006 10:01 pm 
 

Hilarious review, even if his utter disdain for anything with groove is rather sad.
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His [OSS] reviewing style sucks in my opinion, [...] and his humor is vapid at best and outright buffoonish at worst.

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Gutterscream
The Last Old Schooler in Town

Joined: Fri Feb 18, 2005 3:59 pm
Posts: 1083
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sun Nov 12, 2006 2:07 pm 
 

Nightgaunt's latest is a good read where you'll find a nice string of 'n' alliteration.

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=2873
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"Who's this again?" my brother asks as his exceptional jeep stereo explodes with sound.
"Lair of the Minotaur!", I say loudly.
"Glare of the Minotaur?"
"No, Lair...but that's a pretty damn good name too!".

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Wretchosoft
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Fri Sep 29, 2006 8:31 pm
Posts: 16
Location: United States of America
PostPosted: Sun Nov 26, 2006 11:27 pm 
 

All of ThrashingMetal's reviews.

http://metal-archives.com/userreviews.p ... shingMetal

He brings an *ahem* wonderfully (and inadvertantly) hilarious perspective.

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GuntherTheUndying
Crimson King, Eater of Worlds

Joined: Mon Apr 24, 2006 4:36 pm
Posts: 2833
Location: United States
PostPosted: Thu Nov 30, 2006 9:03 pm 
 

Gabometal86's review for Megadeth's "Risk" is fucking classic!

Gabometal86 wrote:
Next is “Doctor Is Calling” and the listener is dying! Seriously, if you are caught listening to this song in public, then you are in for a colossal buttfuck and guess who’s butt is gonna be fucked till exhaustion? YOURS!.


:lol:
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dmerritt
Metal newbie

Joined: Sat Apr 26, 2003 10:43 pm
Posts: 338
Location: United States
PostPosted: Thu Dec 14, 2006 3:42 pm 
 

Peterot writes great reviews of interesting albums. Even when he reviews a band that everyone's heard of, he always chooses a lesser-known album.

I need to write more reviews. When I joined this site several years ago, I submitted reviews with little knowledge of the genre and most of them are totally grandiose. I hate almost all of them. I just reviewed Genevieve by VC and it made me want to write more.

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Noktorn
Metalhead

Joined: Fri Feb 11, 2005 5:31 pm
Posts: 1712
Location: United States
PostPosted: Wed Dec 20, 2006 9:30 am 
 

Nile577's first review of Esoteric's 'Epistomological Despondency' made my jaw drop. God damn you, Nile577! Thunder = stolen.
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Nahsil
Clerical Sturmgeschütz

Joined: Sun Jan 08, 2006 2:06 pm
Posts: 4577
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sat Dec 23, 2006 2:23 am 
 

I like this guy's review of Doom:vs - Aeternum Vale.

http://metal-archives.com/review.php?id=118432#16620

not the greatest layout or the most memorable prose, but it covers just about everything I want in a review and it's straight to the point.
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droneriot
cisgender

Joined: Sat Aug 28, 2004 1:17 pm
Posts: 10812
Location: Spahn Ranch
PostPosted: Sat Dec 23, 2006 11:12 am 
 

Noktorn wrote:
Nile577's first review of Esoteric's 'Epistomological Despondency' made my jaw drop. God damn you, Nile577! Thunder = stolen.

Too bad he's a closet anus-ite.
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Noktorn
Metalhead

Joined: Fri Feb 11, 2005 5:31 pm
Posts: 1712
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sat Dec 23, 2006 1:39 pm 
 

droneriot wrote:
Noktorn wrote:
Nile577's first review of Esoteric's 'Epistomological Despondency' made my jaw drop. God damn you, Nile577! Thunder = stolen.

Too bad he's a closet anus-ite.


Yeah, I noticed that with the Morbid Angel reviews he just did. VERY derivative of Prozak. He should stick with his own voice.
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Gutterscream
The Last Old Schooler in Town

Joined: Fri Feb 18, 2005 3:59 pm
Posts: 1083
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sat Dec 23, 2006 1:46 pm 
 

Noktorn wrote:
droneriot wrote:
Noktorn wrote:
Nile577's first review of Esoteric's 'Epistomological Despondency' made my jaw drop. God damn you, Nile577! Thunder = stolen.

Too bad he's a closet anus-ite.


Yeah, I noticed that with the Morbid Angel reviews he just did. VERY derivative of Prozak. He should stick with his own voice.


Having your own voice/style is an overlooked and underindulged part of review writing, or writing in general for that matter.
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"Who's this again?" my brother asks as his exceptional jeep stereo explodes with sound.
"Lair of the Minotaur!", I say loudly.
"Glare of the Minotaur?"
"No, Lair...but that's a pretty damn good name too!".

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erickg13
Metalhead

Joined: Mon Jul 17, 2006 7:46 pm
Posts: 994
Location: The Middle of the Pacific Ocean.
PostPosted: Thu Dec 28, 2006 1:33 pm 
 

i throughly enjoyed MurderNArson's review of Triviums "The Crusade"

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.ph ... 6926#25795

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pinpals
Metal newbie

Joined: Mon Oct 03, 2005 2:18 pm
Posts: 72
Location: United States
PostPosted: Fri Jan 12, 2007 12:12 am 
 

Kudos to Napero for doing Biomechanical's "The Empires of the Worlds" justice.
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